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Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Red Reporter: Alyssa Milano previews the AL West

Hold me closer Tony Danza ....

As I pointed out in my new book Safe at Home: Confessions of a Baseball Fanatic Who Uses it as a Crutch to Remain Relevant, I have never understood the way the Texas Rangers front office has managed to get away with poor roster construction and poor system depth for so many years. Well, that ended last year because there’s a new sheriff in town and her ass looks scrumptious in leather chaps. Oh yes, I’ve added a pair of spurs to match my new Manolo Blahnik Black Crocodile Alligator Boots and brought back the cowboy hat I wore in Commando. That’s right. I’ve taken over the Texas Rangers!

Steve Parris, Je t'aime Posted: April 08, 2009 at 05:49 PM | 13 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
Tags: angels, athletics, mariners, media, rangers

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1. Toolsy McClutch Posted: April 08, 2009 at 06:18 PM (#3129928)

Litigate much?

2. rfloh Posted: April 08, 2009 at 06:34 PM (#3129948)

Not too bad, pretty OK, an analysis, especially compared to the stuff that mainstream writers come up with, despite mistakes here and there.

3. The Essex Snead Posted: April 08, 2009 at 06:36 PM (#3129951)

Way to steal our shtick that we stole from The Onion and other less successful satirists!

4. cardsfanboy

Posted: April 08, 2009 at 06:57 PM (#3129983)

nevermind, it's all joke

5. base ball chick Posted: April 08, 2009 at 07:13 PM (#3130006)

Choose Your Fantasy

Were you one of those wondering what the f*** happened to the offensive production of A’s right fielder Travis Buck last year? More like who the f*** happened! That’s right, I was nailing him. That b*tch Shannon Dougherty was running away with our keeper league, so I tied him to my headboard three nights a week and strapped it on for some major major league pegging.

- i TOLD all yall that us grrrls got a VERY different idea of what baseball player + fantasy is

6. Liver of blaspheming 'zop Posted: April 08, 2009 at 07:52 PM (#3130092)

Alyssa Milano previews the AL West

Yes, yes, yes, yes, coach, yes, yes, yes, trainer, yes, yes, yes, yes, manager, yes, yes, yes....

7. jwb Posted: April 08, 2009 at 07:59 PM (#3130108)

Yes, Alyssa Milano's version of "touching 'em all" is very different than Joe Carter's.

I initially read "Jarrod Washedupburn" as "Jarrod Washedupbum." I like mine better.

8. Steve Balboni's Personal Trainer Posted: April 09, 2009 at 02:29 AM (#3131245)

Next week: Alyssa Milano reads the phone book. We'll all be back...

9. andrewberg Posted: April 09, 2009 at 02:39 AM (#3131268)

Yes, yes, yes, yes, coach, yes, yes, yes, trainer, yes, yes, yes, yes, manager, yes, yes, yes....

That took me a second, but it was worth the wait. Good one!

10. The Kids Are Enright (1k5v3L)

Posted: April 09, 2009 at 02:47 AM (#3131294)

I need to move to the AL West.

11. Perros Posted: April 09, 2009 at 03:39 AM (#3131409)

For bbc -- If a woman thinks you're a sweet guy, will she still want you to nail her? Or are you screwed?

12. Bitter Calculus Instructor Posted: April 09, 2009 at 04:57 AM (#3131439)

[10] Cause you'll never beat the Dodgers!!!

13. base ball chick Posted: April 09, 2009 at 05:43 AM (#3131465)

ghost of perros Posted: April 08, 2009 at 11:39 PM (#3131409)

For bbc -- If a woman thinks you're a sweet guy, will she still want you to nail her? Or are you screwed?

- smile

bigger smile

well there alex darling boy, depending on exactly HOW she tells you, you may GET screwed instead of BE screwed...

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Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Red Reporter: Alyssa Milano previews the AL West

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