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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Rick Reilly: Jeter State of Mind

Holy hagiography! Did I really beat Repoz to this?! Rick Reilly pens one for the ages- a letter to the imaginary future child of Derek Jeter.

How he was loved! In a league full of bloated steroid cheats, he kept the same body, the same weight, the same helmet size. In a game full of bat-flipping prima donnas, he ran out every ground ball, hard. In a world of my-agent-doesn’t-want-me-to-play multimillionaires, he played hurt more than we know. “Most of the time, he wasn’t 100 percent,” Posada said. “He’d come out of spring training and tell me, ‘I’m already hurting,’ but he wouldn’t tell anybody else. He just kept going.”

Your father was everything men wanted to be. The guy with the $15 million Trump Tower penthouse. The dude dating Miss Universe. The man with all of the talent and none of the jerk. He was everything women wanted, too. The elegant athlete who loved books, paid for everything, and had a limo waiting for them when it was time to go.

The stat-heads scoffed at him, but then the stat-heads never figured out a way to measure the things he did. Some guys would lean over the wall in foul territory to make a catch. Jeter would launch himself over it, sometimes two rows deep. He’d come out with a bruised face, a cut chin, and the ball.

 

Avoid running at all times.-S. Paige Posted: May 28, 2014 at 08:43 PM | 80 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: derek jeter, rick reilly

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   1. madvillain Posted: May 28, 2014 at 09:50 PM (#4714999)
He was everything women wanted, too. The elegant athlete who loved books, paid for everything, and had a limo waiting for them when it was time to go.


When readers can't tell if your writing is very elegant satire or not it's time to hang'em up.
   2. Darren Posted: May 28, 2014 at 09:51 PM (#4715000)
he played hurt more than we know.


That's right. We know he played hurt more than we know.


Jeter would launch himself over it, sometimes two rows deep. He’d come out with a bruised face, a cut chin, and the ball.


When?
   3. Publius Publicola Posted: May 28, 2014 at 09:58 PM (#4715003)
and had a limo waiting for them when it was time to go.


Correction: a limo with a gift basket on the seat waiting for them when it was time to go.
   4. PreservedFish Posted: May 28, 2014 at 09:59 PM (#4715005)
I'm curious what people think about Reilly's opinion of himself. Does he realize that he's the smarmiest ass in the country? Does he care?
   5. Publius Publicola Posted: May 28, 2014 at 10:13 PM (#4715010)
I'm curious what people think about Reilly's opinion of himself. Does he realize that he's the smarmiest ass in the country? Does he care?


I met him once in Denver. He was neighbors with the supervisor of my wife and they were friends.

And yes, he did come off as full of himself.
   6. cardsfanboy Posted: May 28, 2014 at 10:14 PM (#4715011)

When?


It was labeled play of the year by ESPN... I would imagine you would have seen it.

Mind you, it's a play 99% of the other shortstops make by camping under the ball and catching it.
   7. Howie Menckel Posted: May 28, 2014 at 10:27 PM (#4715020)

"Jeter would launch himself over it, sometimes two rows deep. He’d come out with a bruised face, a cut chin, and the ball."

reminds of the old Mike Piazza threads.
   8. Jim (jimmuscomp) Posted: May 28, 2014 at 10:38 PM (#4715026)
I so just threw up in my mouth.

Eff Reilly. Seriously.
   9. Ray (RDP) Posted: May 28, 2014 at 10:55 PM (#4715035)
I have always liked Jeter, but really he can't go away fast enough now.
   10. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: May 28, 2014 at 11:07 PM (#4715044)
Reads like Reilly is auditioning for a gift basket.
   11. PreservedFish Posted: May 28, 2014 at 11:10 PM (#4715046)
Original thread on the Jeter catch! Eric Enders' lead-in: "Does Derek Jeter now hold the top 2 spots on the “Most Overrated Defensive Plays of All Time” list?"
   12. The Yankee Clapper Posted: May 28, 2014 at 11:10 PM (#4715047)
Shouldn't there be a thread on Jeter leading the AL All-Star Vote at SS? Just so the whiners can complain a little more?
   13. Justin T steals bases with his bat Posted: May 28, 2014 at 11:14 PM (#4715050)
He better hope they bring Chan Ho back to pitch to him.
   14. Lassus Posted: May 28, 2014 at 11:17 PM (#4715053)
Jeter loved books? I'm actually asking, is that a thing?
   15. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: May 28, 2014 at 11:18 PM (#4715055)
I just read on twitter "it's a Rick Reilly article about Derek Jeter, you knew what you were getting when you opened it."
   16. Howie Menckel Posted: May 28, 2014 at 11:20 PM (#4715058)
I think Jeter starting the All-Star Game is about the least objectionable thing.

The only bad part is it will get little traction as the 14th or so of 30 tributes. It would have been an excellent "pay attention" moment for baseball fans, alas....

   17. Ray (RDP) Posted: May 28, 2014 at 11:28 PM (#4715062)
Shouldn't there be a thread on Jeter leading the AL All-Star Vote at SS? Just so the whiners can complain a little more?


People over the age of 15 follow the All Star voting?
   18. PreservedFish Posted: May 29, 2014 at 12:01 AM (#4715084)
Jeter loved books? I'm actually asking, is that a thing?


Didn't he start a publishing imprint or something?
   19. Hank G. Posted: May 29, 2014 at 12:39 AM (#4715109)
Somebody has watched too many episodes of How I Met Your Mother.
   20. Rob_Wood Posted: May 29, 2014 at 12:42 AM (#4715112)

Can't someone find something on Jeter? Maybe he was late one day in elementary school? Maybe he missed a spelling question once in middle school? Maybe he didn't use his blinker once when he first started driving? Puuuuuuleeeeeeease, anyone, anything!
   21. Walt Davis Posted: May 29, 2014 at 12:51 AM (#4715115)
In a league full of bloated steroid cheats, he kept the same body, the same weight,

Just like most of us do through our 30s.

In a game full of bat-flipping prima donnas, he ran out every ground ball, hard.

And there were over 5000 of them!

In a world of my-agent-doesn’t-want-me-to-play multimillionaires, he played hurt more than we know.

Which we know. In fact we know he played hurt more often than we know than any other player we know of for whom we know whether they played hurt more than we know, you know?

The guy with the $15 million Trump Tower penthouse.

No thanks.

The dude dating Miss Universe.

I'm more a prime Jessica Biel guy myself.

The man with all of the talent and none of the jerk.

Even with that many women, I bet he still squeezed one off two or three times a week.

He was everything women wanted, too.

Except Minka.

paid for everything

No, he didn't pay for THAT! He paid for everything and then the women gave him THAT for free.

and had a limo waiting for them when it was time to go.

Classy.

I'll also note that DJ better get started soon or DJ will be receiving social security by the time Reilly has a chance to talk to his kid.

And any father that would let Rick Reilly talk to his kid should have his children taken away.

   22. Transmission Posted: May 29, 2014 at 12:52 AM (#4715116)
# 20: Reilly says that "Jeter played hurt more than we know".

So I say that Jeter bet on games more than we know.

   23. Walt Davis Posted: May 29, 2014 at 12:58 AM (#4715118)
For anyone wondering what New York Yankees Hall of Fame-bound shortstop Derek Jeter might do after his retirement, Simon & Schuster just supplied the answer. The superstar shortstop is joining with S&S to launch Jeter Publishing, an elaborate co-publishing partnership that will release adult nonfiction, picture books, middle-grade fiction and more.

Jeter will work to identify and create titles for the line. Adult titles produced by Jeter Publishing will be published in conjunction with S&S’s Gallery Books imprint and children’s titles will be published in conjunction with Little Simon, Paula Wiseman Books and Simon Spotlight imprints.


I'm guessing the first titles will be:

Derek on Derek (this is NOT the picture book)
200 pictures of Jeter you've seen before but on glossy paper this time
Derek's Guide to Male Contraception
DJ and the Mystery of the Missing Glove (middle-grade fiction)
Daddy, why did God create Red Sox fans?
   24. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: May 29, 2014 at 01:18 AM (#4715123)
There must be something about the number 23. I offered up a few in #23 of this thread.
   25. Walt Davis Posted: May 29, 2014 at 01:31 AM (#4715126)
the number 23

It's the Sandberg Paradox.
   26. Squash Posted: May 29, 2014 at 02:04 AM (#4715128)
Original thread on the Jeter catch!

As I recall that was a seminal early BBP thread.
   27. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: May 29, 2014 at 02:17 AM (#4715131)
Jeter's reputation is extremely seminal.

Jeter loved books? I'm actually asking, is that a thing?

He loves anything that goes left to right. He hates manga.
   28. Walt Davis Posted: May 29, 2014 at 03:06 AM (#4715132)
He loves anything that goes left to right

He's got real trouble with the hokey pokey and is a downright menace at the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
   29. Swedish Chef Posted: May 29, 2014 at 04:41 AM (#4715141)
Jeter loved books? I'm actually asking, is that a thing?

He didn't love books, he used them and then sent them off with a gift basket.
   30. alkeiper Posted: May 29, 2014 at 05:57 AM (#4715144)
Wasn't this the premise to an episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia?
   31. TRBMB Posted: May 29, 2014 at 08:00 AM (#4715156)
Via my brief experience with a Twitter account, I rapidly learned that most sports writers are full of themselves and believe they are special experts. Most of all, they believe those of us who aren't professional writers are morons. Thus, although I am a moron, the one thing I know is the writers are crap. Done paying them attention.
   32. Greg Pope thinks the Cubs are reeking havoc Posted: May 29, 2014 at 08:45 AM (#4715165)
and had a limo waiting for them when it was time to go.


Classy.

Seriously. Having sex with a random woman and then sending her away in a limo is now considered a positive trait? This is like North Korea where every single trait of Kim Jong Il is just automatically a positive.
   33. Captain Supporter Posted: May 29, 2014 at 09:43 AM (#4715187)
Nice to see that real baseball fans appreciate the Captain.

"ST. LOUIS — A curtain call without even playing? Derek Jeter really can do it all.

Jeter was stretching in the clubhouse at the end of the sixth inning when he saw the in-house feed of the Busch Stadium scoreboard, which was showing a highlight video of his career, complete with interviews from Cardinals players.

The video was almost over by the time Jeter reached the dugout, but the camera focused on him, bringing the sellout crowd to its feet for a standing ovation. Jeter waved from inside the dugout, but the crowd didn’t stop prompting the Captain to come out and tip his hat and also point at the Cardinals players standing by the rail in the first base dugout.

“The fans all three games — well, the two that I played — every time I came up, they were pretty much standing,” Jeter said."
   34. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: May 29, 2014 at 09:54 AM (#4715191)
Derek on Derek (this is NOT the picture book)
200 pictures of Jeter you've seen before but on glossy paper this time
Derek's Guide to Male Contraception
DJ and the Mystery of the Missing Glove (middle-grade fiction)
Daddy, why did God create Red Sox fans?


Don't forget "Everybody Poops...Except Derek Jeter"
   35. PreservedFish Posted: May 29, 2014 at 09:54 AM (#4715192)
I am prepared to accept the idea that the gift basket & limo ride is in fact a classy gesture. The world of celebrity one night stands is so foreign to my own that I don't feel comfortable passing judgment, but it does seem possible that Jeter handles the awkward morning-after situation better than 99% of his peers.
   36. Lassus Posted: May 29, 2014 at 09:55 AM (#4715193)
Having sex with a random woman and then sending her away in a limo is now considered a positive trait?

Limos are pretty dumb, but calling a woman a post-coital car is certainly better than making them do it. As not everyone, or even few(?) people do so, it's hard NOT to call it a positive trait. My own judgment that this is a positive has nothing to do with any cars I may have called taking someone back to godforsaken parts of Brooklyn or Queens.

The obsession with Jeter's sex life doesn't really strike me as a positive trait, though.
   37. Jeltzandini Posted: May 29, 2014 at 10:10 AM (#4715200)
the same helmet size


Cite? His head looks much bigger now than in his youth.
   38. What's the realistic upside, RMc? Posted: May 29, 2014 at 10:32 AM (#4715206)
Having sex with a random woman and then sending her away in a limo is now considered a positive trait?

Limos are pretty dumb, but calling a woman a post-coital car is certainly better than making them do it. As not everyone, or even few(?) people do so, it's hard NOT to call it a positive trait. My own judgment that this is a positive has nothing to do with any cars I may have called taking someone back to godforsaken parts of Brooklyn or Queens.

The obsession with Jeter's sex life doesn't really strike me as a positive trait, though.


And what is it about the obsession with the gift baskets, anyway? How is giving someone a gift basket worse than not giving them one?

Is the gift basket some kind of talisman, a symbol of the fact Jeter gets to have sex with hot women in a $15M penthouse and we don't? Is it simply a touchstone for would-be comedians, they way the centaur is with A-Rod? Do the aromatic soaps in the baskets drive people insane?
   39. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: May 29, 2014 at 10:42 AM (#4715209)

And what is it about the obsession with the gift baskets, anyway? How is giving someone a gift basket worse than not giving them one?


I can't put my finger on it but there is something dismissive about the gift basket. It has a "here's your case of Turtle Wax and a copy of the home game" feel to it. I suppose giving the gift basket IS better than not giving it but how about not sleeping around? I realize he's hardly the only person to do it but this is the essence of the Jeter narrative. He's not worse than other players in this regard but I don't think he's a meaningfully better person than the great majority of players either.

I'm sure jealousy plays into it also.
   40. Yastrzemski in left. Posted: May 29, 2014 at 10:47 AM (#4715212)
The puritans on this site are amusing. Show me the disrespected quotes from these consenting adults Derek has bedded, or the parade of bad press from it. Seriously, you don't think Gloria Allred or Page 6 would be at the podium any chance they could get? jealousy is a #####.
   41. Swedish Chef Posted: May 29, 2014 at 10:51 AM (#4715214)
I can't put my finger on it but there is something dismissive about the gift basket. It has a "here's your case of Turtle Wax and a copy of the home game" feel to it. I suppose giving the gift basket IS better than not giving it but how about not sleeping around?

He's single, right, and he presumably enjoys sex. I see nothing tawdry in it if he and some hot girls spend a lot of time at bedroom gymnastics.

It would be far worse if a coveted single guy like Jeter lead on his one-night stands with the hope of a relationship.
   42. base ball chick Posted: May 29, 2014 at 11:10 AM (#4715237)
40 - Yaz,
i'm sure as heck not a puritan and think that consenting adults should be able to do with their own bodies what they want to. but yes, the puritan movement, ESPECIALLY against females, by both sexes, is really increasing.

that said, i can't think of any other baseball player who has been, um, praised so highly by the media for his sluttiness than derek jeter. and i am using the word sluttiness because i think that promiscuity is promiscuity, no matter what gender.

i honestly don't get the adoration from ALL the media, seeing as how jeter has never exactly been buddies, has never said pretty much anything, and is certainly not the best baseball player who ever lived. what exactly is it that this particular player has done that is so incredibly superior to what other great players have done?
   43. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: May 29, 2014 at 11:18 AM (#4715248)
Ugh. You get the feeling that Reilly was pleasuring himself while writing this.
   44. Cooper Nielson Posted: May 29, 2014 at 11:40 AM (#4715285)
calling a woman a post-coital car

Why not just call her by her name? No need to resort to insults.
   45. Batman Posted: May 29, 2014 at 12:05 PM (#4715312)
the stat-heads never figured out a way to measure the things he did.
Offensive WAR puts him 20th, behind Rickey, Morgan, Ott, and Lajoie, and ahead of Foxx, Mathews, Anson, and Schmidt.
   46. Moeball Posted: May 29, 2014 at 12:08 PM (#4715315)
Somebody has watched too many episodes of How I Met Your Mother


Is once too many?

Reilly is known for writing many criticisms of Mr. Bonds over the years, but the biggest chutzpah was the SI column Reilly wrote about "Back off or I'll snap!" during the 2002 WS follow-up where Reilly was making it look like Barry was being a mean jerk to the writers because he was a mean jerk!

Only later did the following bits of truth make their way out into the public:

1)The complete quote was "Wait a minute, back up. You're on my son. Back off or I'll snap. I'm not playing around when it comes to my son."
2)A writer for the Orange Country Register let it be known that the reporter standing on Barry's son's feet that brought about the reaction was...Rick Reilly.
   47. jmurph Posted: May 29, 2014 at 12:30 PM (#4715339)
I believe the only time I ever reached out to a writer was after Reilly wrote a column back in his SI days about a winning high school basketball team in Louisiana, post-Katrina. In (rightfully) praising the winning team, he also mocked and made light of the losing team, a team I was very familiar with, one whose players had also gone through a lot, including losing their head football coach to suicide mid school year. Basically, he got a bunch of things wrong and unnecessarily (to the story) made some jokes at the expense of the other kids.

His apology email in response to me came so quickly that it made me think he was VERY used to sending half-hearted apologies for the dreck he publishes on a regular basis.
   48. Lassus Posted: May 29, 2014 at 01:07 PM (#4715385)
Why not just call her by her name? No need to resort to insults.

The 8th post? Everyone from #37 to #43 fails.
   49. Eddo Posted: May 29, 2014 at 01:54 PM (#4715422)
And what is it about the obsession with the gift baskets, anyway? How is giving someone a gift basket worse than not giving them one?

I guess it kind of objectifies the women, almost telling each one, "Yeah, you're interchangeable with the girl I ###### last night."

That said, there's absolutely nothing objectionable with Jeter sleeping with as many consensual partners as he wants. There's also nothing particularly praise-worthy about it, either. It's neither a positive or a negative trait.
   50. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: May 29, 2014 at 02:06 PM (#4715433)
The 8th post? Everyone from #37 to #43 fails.


YOU fail, you dirty post-coital car.
   51. Greg Pope thinks the Cubs are reeking havoc Posted: May 29, 2014 at 02:21 PM (#4715452)
That said, there's absolutely nothing objectionable with Jeter sleeping with as many consensual partners as he wants. There's also nothing particularly praise-worthy about it, either. It's neither a positive or a negative trait.

This was my point. I have no problem with Jeter sleeping with whoever he wants. I assume the women know what they're getting into (although I'm sure a small percentage think it'll turn into something more). Jeter's only doing what 95% of guys would do. That doesn't make it classy, though. It doesn't make it something that should be called out as a positive.
   52. dr. scott Posted: May 29, 2014 at 02:25 PM (#4715455)
Rick Reily used to fellatio Lance Armstrong also.... That was a much more difficult to read.
   53. Random Transaction Generator Posted: May 29, 2014 at 02:35 PM (#4715465)
And what is it about the obsession with the gift baskets, anyway? How is giving someone a gift basket worse than not giving them one?


As someone said, it's like the consolation gift that 1980s game show losers would get at the end of the show.
If he's giving them to all of his one-night stands, then it also has a conveyor-belt feel to them, like they are indistinguishable from each other.
(Especially if the gift baskets all contain the exact same items.)
Also, doesn't the fact that he's giving them something of monetary value after having sex with them (and not as part of a relationship) seem a bit...tawdry? If he gave them a cheque for the dollar amount of the gift basket instead, how would they be any different from prostitutes (other than getting paid AFTER sex instead of before sex).
   54. PreservedFish Posted: May 29, 2014 at 02:42 PM (#4715483)
Jeter's only doing what 95% of guys would do.


I want to point out, again, this is not true. A huge percentage of players are married. Jeter's bachelorhood is unusual.
   55. Austin Kearns: The Spy Who Shagged Flies Posted: May 29, 2014 at 02:43 PM (#4715485)
His apology email in response to me came so quickly that it made me think he was VERY used to sending half-hearted apologies for the dreck he publishes on a regular basis.


Maybe, to save time, he's just set a half-hearted apology for his dreck as his out-of-office reply.
   56. PreservedFish Posted: May 29, 2014 at 02:46 PM (#4715492)
If he gave them a cheque for the dollar amount of the gift basket instead, how would they be any different from prostitutes (other than getting paid AFTER sex instead of before sex).


Tremendous argument here. If Jeter did something he wasn't doing, and did it in a way that he doesn't do, then the women would be prostitutes.
   57. Eddo Posted: May 29, 2014 at 02:51 PM (#4715507)
YOU fail, you dirty post-coital car.

Whoa. All this time, I thought at least Jeter was ordering from a service that at least washed their cars. Now I don't know what to think about all this.
   58. valuearbitrageur Posted: May 29, 2014 at 02:55 PM (#4715515)
And what is it about the obsession with the gift baskets, anyway? How is giving someone a gift basket worse than not giving them one?


Jeter's gift baskets include a 1 year supply of Valtrex.
   59. valuearbitrageur Posted: May 29, 2014 at 02:58 PM (#4715522)
The puritans on this site are amusing. Show me the disrespected quotes from these consenting adults Derek has bedded, or the parade of bad press from it. Seriously, you don't think Gloria Allred or Page 6 would be at the podium any chance they could get? jealousy is a #####.


There are two limos. The complainers get the limo to the swamps of New Jersey..

I've said too much already.
   60. SG Posted: May 29, 2014 at 03:07 PM (#4715534)
Rick Reily used to fellatio Lance Armstrong also.... That was a much more difficult to read.

I realize this probably wins me Pedant of the Year, but you want to use fellate here, not fellatio.
   61. jmurph Posted: May 29, 2014 at 03:13 PM (#4715542)
We were all thinking it, SG, some of us just didn't want to quote that particular word on our work computers!
   62. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: May 29, 2014 at 03:17 PM (#4715550)
Jeter's only doing what 95% of guys would do.



I want to point out, again, this is not true. A huge percentage of players are married.


I hate to shatter your blissful naivete, but these two categories are a bit far from mutually exclusive.
   63. valuearbitrageur Posted: May 29, 2014 at 03:19 PM (#4715555)
Jeter's only doing what 95% of guys would do.



I want to point out, again, this is not true. A huge percentage of players are married.


I hate to shatter your blissful naivete, but these two categories are a bit far from mutually exclusive.


He's giving married players gift baskets too?
   64. Random Transaction Generator Posted: May 29, 2014 at 03:19 PM (#4715557)
Tremendous argument here. If Jeter did something he wasn't doing, and did it in a way that he doesn't do, then the women would be prostitutes.


What I was saying is that giving a woman something of monetary value after a one-time-only sexual encounter is pretty close to the same thing as paying for a prostitute.
The only difference is it's signed memorabilia instead of straight cash.
   65. Random Transaction Generator Posted: May 29, 2014 at 03:21 PM (#4715561)
He's giving married players gift baskets too?


Maybe this explains why Ruben Rivera swiped Jeter's glove...maybe he wasn't giving them to married players and Rivera felt like he deserved one still...
   66. PreservedFish Posted: May 29, 2014 at 03:27 PM (#4715571)
What I was saying is that giving a woman something of monetary value after a one-time-only sexual encounter is pretty close to the same thing as paying for a prostitute.
The only difference is it's signed memorabilia instead of straight cash.


The monetary value of the memorabilia is incidental. It's a keepsake.

And even if he was giving them a stack of bills it wouldn't really be prostitution - there was no arrangement or expectation of payment when the relationship was consummated.

"Pretty close" is a huge exaggeration. It bears some resemblance to prostitution, in the same way that a man picking up the restaurant check on a date bears some resemblance to prostitution. Even less so, actually, because the gift basket is not in any way a coercive ploy.
   67. valuearbitrageur Posted: May 29, 2014 at 03:32 PM (#4715580)
The monetary value of the memorabilia is incidental. It's a keepsake.

And even if he was giving them a stack of bills it wouldn't really be prostitution - there was no arrangement or expectation of payment when the relationship was consummated.

"Pretty close" is a huge exaggeration. It bears some resemblance to prostitution, in the same way that a man picking up the restaurant check on a date bears some resemblance to prostitution.
s

This. If women date you mostly because of the expectation that you will spend money on them, not because of your looks or personality, then I'm the worlds biggest John.

And I should just be more up front about it, because my end of the contract isn't completed as often as I would like.
   68. Random Transaction Generator Posted: May 29, 2014 at 04:00 PM (#4715604)
It bears some resemblance to prostitution, in the same way that a man picking up the restaurant check on a date bears some resemblance to prostitution.


Only if you think the restaurant is her pimp.
   69. The Chronicles of Reddick Posted: May 29, 2014 at 05:56 PM (#4715712)
Do you think he has a special limo with a specific driver also on call for these women? Kinda like Dracula's carriage
   70. A triple short of the cycle Posted: May 29, 2014 at 06:10 PM (#4715723)
Caveat: I have no idea what I am talking about.

The gift basket is lame, because it is impersonal. Presumably they are all the same, and/or purchased/assembled in advance and in some quantity, for future recipients to be determined. The gift basket that Date X received was not personalized for her, it would have been given to whichever woman Jeter got hooked up with next. Now, if he thoughtfully put something personal together, that would be admirable. But having a gift basket already at the ready, to give to whomever claims it first, well that is creepy.

Edit: code to Eddo for #45
   71. dr. scott Posted: May 29, 2014 at 06:22 PM (#4715729)
I realize this probably wins me Pedant of the Year, but you want to use fellate here, not fellatio.


Damn autocorrect!
   72. madvillain Posted: May 29, 2014 at 06:47 PM (#4715743)
I hate to be crass, but of course the women are prostitutes, perhaps not quid pro quo sex for money but certainly if Jeter was a regular guy making 35k cleaning toilets at MSG, he's not getting this much play.

They want the fame, the gift basket, the access to other players or his friends, who are of course probably quite wealthy as well...
   73. dr. scott Posted: May 29, 2014 at 07:20 PM (#4715761)
Women who choose who they sleep with for the thrill of being near celebrities are not prostitutes. they may have issues, but prostitution is not one of them.
   74. valuearbitrageur Posted: May 29, 2014 at 07:31 PM (#4715768)
Women who choose who they sleep with for the thrill of being near celebrities are not prostitutes. they may have issues, but prostitution is not one of them.


Just another example how women are unfairly compensated in our society.
   75. PreservedFish Posted: May 29, 2014 at 07:57 PM (#4715777)
I hate to be crass, but of course the women are prostitutes, perhaps not quid pro quo sex for money but certainly if Jeter was a regular guy making 35k cleaning toilets at MSG, he's not getting this much play.


This definition of prostitution is so loose as to be meaningless. My wife is a stay at home mom - is she also a prostitute?
   76. madvillain Posted: May 29, 2014 at 08:29 PM (#4715787)
This definition of prostitution is so loose as to be meaningless. My wife is a stay at home mom - is she also a prostitute?


Rad fems would argue the patriarchy makes whores of them all, and they might be right. Don't really care to go into it here, had enough of this #### in undergrad.

edit: holy #### lt daniels is hawking LED light bulbs on the bottom of my screen.
   77. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: May 29, 2014 at 10:00 PM (#4715850)
My wife is a stay at home mom - is she also a prostitute?

Depends. Does your home have hanging beads in the doorways, red lightbulbs, and basins in every room? Also, how long is the purple feather on your panama hat? Less than two feet, you're probably okay.
   78. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: May 29, 2014 at 10:07 PM (#4715861)
I want Billy Joel to write the song that goes with the title of this column .
   79. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: May 30, 2014 at 11:15 AM (#4716073)
Just another example how women are unfairly compensated in our society.


Female prostitutes earn only 75 cents for each dollar male prostitutes earn?

I want Billy Joel to write the song that goes with the title of this column.


You say that as if it hasn't already been planned for the special tribute concert before The Exalted One's last home game.



   80. Jolly Old St. Nick Is A Jolly Old St. Crip Posted: May 30, 2014 at 12:25 PM (#4716111)
The gift basket is lame, because it is impersonal. Presumably they are all the same, and/or purchased/assembled in advance and in some quantity,

And any good FTD shop can overnight them to skull victims all over the world, as Jeter probably discovered on the Yanks' trip to Tokyo back in 2004.

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