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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Rodriguez’s ‘Gummies’: Files Detail Doping, Down to Milligram

Alex Rodriguez took an energy cocktail on Mondays and a therapy cocktail on Fridays.

He used a special cream in the morning, and a testosterone cream in the evening.

He took testosterone lozenges before games “as needed.”...

describes in detail the shadowy life — and complicated diet — of a big-league doper who juggled four injections with two muscle treatments, two skin creams, two lozenges, and six oral doses. And that was just “PHASE 1,” according to the report….

You asked for Too Much Information, we’re giving you Too Much Information.

Jolly Old St. Nick Is A Jolly Old St. Crip Posted: January 14, 2014 at 08:25 AM | 79 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: a-rod, steroids, yankees

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   1. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: January 14, 2014 at 09:31 AM (#4638412)
Think of it this way, he could have stopped his regimen after signing that gigantic contract but he felt he owed the Yankees his best. He's the anti-Mantle!
   2. Bhaakon Posted: January 14, 2014 at 09:59 AM (#4638423)
Think of it this way, he could have stopped his regimen after signing that gigantic contract but he felt he owed the Yankees his best. He's the anti-Mantle!


I probably shouldn't be surprised, since the examples of humans taking health advice from obvious frauds are myriad, but why would anyone take such detailed medical and dietary advice from a doctor who thought it would be a good idea to turn himself into a glorified drug dealer? It seems a bit like walking into a used car dealership and asking the first salesman you see, "Which car should I buy?" You're just asking for trouble. Any mulch-millionaire with half a brain should, at the very least, keep one or more degrees of separation between themselves and their supplier.
   3. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: January 14, 2014 at 10:06 AM (#4638427)
I probably shouldn't be surprised, since the examples of humans taking health advice from obvious frauds are myriad, but why would anyone take such detailed medical and dietary advice from a doctor who thought it would be a good idea to turn himself into a glorified drug dealer? It seems a bit like walking into a used car dealership and asking the first salesman you see, "Which car should I buy?" You're just asking for trouble. Any mulch-millionaire with half a brain should, at the very least, keep one or more degrees of separation between themselves and their supplier.

That's a good question. I guess it's harder to find a real doctor who will engage in these shenanigans than we would think? It's interesting how naive so many players have been about this, especially in comparison with the byzantine operation Lance Armstrong was running. I have a feeling baseball players will adjust and become much more sophisticated about their PEDs in the future, just as cyclists did.
   4. Edmundo got dem ol' Kozma blues again mama Posted: January 14, 2014 at 10:06 AM (#4638430)
Any mulch-millionaire

Who knew? I always thought mulch would be a low % business.
   5. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: January 14, 2014 at 10:08 AM (#4638431)
Who knew? I always thought mulch would be a low % business.

Come on Edmundo, as near as I can figure, America is currently in the business of consuming bullshit 24/7.
   6. McCoy Posted: January 14, 2014 at 10:27 AM (#4638442)
I have a feeling baseball players will adjust and become much more sophisticated about their PEDs in the future, just as cyclists did.

We must be as stealthy as rats in the wainscoting of their society. It was easier in the old days, of course, and society had more rats when the rules were looser, just as old wooden buildings have more rats than concrete buildings. But there are rats in the building now as well. Now that society is all ferrocrete and stainless steel there are fewer gaps in the joints. It takes a very smart rat indeed to find these openings. Only a stainless steel rat can be at home in this environment
   7. BDC Posted: January 14, 2014 at 10:41 AM (#4638452)
lozenges containing testosterone were called “gummies"


Pictured here.
   8. Nasty Nate Posted: January 14, 2014 at 10:46 AM (#4638460)
The O's are interested in Gummy bears as the new Cubs mascot?
   9. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: January 14, 2014 at 10:55 AM (#4638472)
It's interesting how naive so many players have been about this, especially in comparison with the byzantine operation Lance Armstrong was running.


Again, we're talking about a population that wears giant rope necklaces during games because they "stabalize the electrical currents in your body." It's not exactly the Stanford Medical Review team out there, man. Baseball players think things like "if I piss on my hands it will toughen them up so I don't need to wear batting gloves." Seriously. These guys are ripe for the picking when it comes to snake oil. They're ####### idiots, man.
   10. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: January 14, 2014 at 10:56 AM (#4638474)
Again, we're talking about a population that wears giant rope necklaces during games because they "stabalize the electrical currents in your body.

You make a cogent observation, sir.
   11. BDC Posted: January 14, 2014 at 10:58 AM (#4638480)
{quietly takes off rope necklace, slips into desk drawer}
   12. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:00 AM (#4638483)
Baseball players think things like "if I piss on my hands it will toughen them up so I don't need to wear batting gloves." Seriously.


I don't see why that wouldn't work. People have been tanning leather with urine for centuries. Jack Dempsey, famously, washed his fists and face in bull urine to toughen the skin.
   13. Chip Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:06 AM (#4638490)
Again, we're talking about a population that wears giant rope necklaces during games because they "stabalize the electrical currents in your body." It's not exactly the Stanford Medical Review team out there, man. Baseball players think things like "if I piss on my hands it will toughen them up so I don't need to wear batting gloves." Seriously. These guys are ripe for the picking when it comes to snake oil. They're ####### idiots, man.


To be fair, those aren't just ordinary rope necklaces. Those are titanium-filled nylon rope necklaces. Of course they work!
   14. BDC Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:08 AM (#4638493)
Jack Dempsey, famously, washed his fists and face in bull urine to toughen the skin

I hope this was before his restaurant days.
   15. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:09 AM (#4638496)
I hope this was before his restaurant days.

I hope he was celibate at the time, as well.
   16. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:10 AM (#4638498)
Think of it this way, he could have stopped his regimen after signing that gigantic contract but he felt he owed the Yankees his best. He's the anti-Mantle!


It does seem odd that nobody is saying this seriously. In fact people instead are saying "What is he, insane? He already had the money! Why keep trying? Why not naturally deteriorate into an injury-riddled husk of his former self? The guy must be insane. What a narcissist! It's all about you, not the team, right Arod?"
   17. Bob Tufts Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:16 AM (#4638506)
It's not exactly the Stanford Medical Review team out there, man.


That's what happens if you stay in your room on the road and watch too many infomercials.

Players do try some stupid things on a whim. I saw players use amps (with hilariously poor overmedicated results), go vegetarian, eat the same food every day, get relaxed pre-game by smoking pot and watching afternoon cartoons.....

When the difference between thousands and a few million is an infinitesimal extra amount of talent or ability, people will try anything - and are susceptible to charlatans and quacks who will gladly get between players and their money (and their common sense).
   18. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:17 AM (#4638508)
It does seem odd that nobody is saying this seriously. In fact people instead are saying "What is he, insane? He already had the money! Why keep trying? Why not naturally deteriorate into an injury-riddled husk of his former self? The guy must be insane. What a narcissist! It's all about you, not the team, right Arod?"

Yeah, this business of the public reaction to A-Rod is kind of fascinating.
   19. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:22 AM (#4638516)
That's what happens if you stay in your room on the road and watch too many infomercials.

Players do try some stupid things on a whim. I saw players use amps (with hilariously poor overmedicated results), go vegetarian, eat the same food every day, get relaxed pre-game by smoking pot and watching afternoon cartoons.....


Hell, for a while there I'm pretty sure Alex Rodriguez was doing tantric/Kabbalistic yoga with Madonna thinking it was making him stronger or conserving his qui or some such nonsense.
   20. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:23 AM (#4638518)
It does seem odd that nobody is saying this seriously. In fact people instead are saying "What is he, insane? He already had the money! Why keep trying? Why not naturally deteriorate into an injury-riddled husk of his former self? The guy must be insane. What a narcissist! It's all about you, not the team, right Arod?"


But he wanted to hit 800 home runs! That's so selfish!
   21. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:23 AM (#4638519)
Hell, for a while there I'm pretty sure Alex Rodriguez was doing tantric/Kabbalistic yoga with Madonna thinking it was making him stronger or conserving his qui or some such nonsense.

It's "qi", as anyone who's played an online Scrabble game could tell you.
   22. Edmundo got dem ol' Kozma blues again mama Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:23 AM (#4638521)
I saw players use amps (with hilariously poor overmedicated results), go vegetarian, eat the same food every day, get relaxed pre-game by smoking pot and watching afternoon cartoons

One of these makes sense to me...
   23. Bob Tufts Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:24 AM (#4638522)
These guys are ripe for the picking when it comes to snake oil. They're ####### idiots, man.


The same goes for Hollywood - and lemmings actually follow the political and social suggestions of people even more deranged and egotistical than ARod?
   24. Bob Tufts Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:27 AM (#4638529)
One of these makes sense to me...


I assume that your Styx album with "Too Much Time On My Hands" was well worn....
   25. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:29 AM (#4638533)
I hope this was before his restaurant days.

I hope he was celibate at the time, as well.


Worse, he was married to a prostitute.
   26. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:29 AM (#4638534)
I assume that your Styx album with "Too Much Time On My Hands" was well worn....


{clap clap}

It's ticking away at his sanity.
   27. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:30 AM (#4638537)
We can make fun of athletes and movie stars, but those companies that promise rapid weight loss with no change in behavior or diet move a lot of product, too. GNC moved 2.4 billion dollars worth of product in 2012. Herbalife still suckers hundreds of thousands every year. Women will spend hundreds of dollars on a cream made of what I'm pretty sure is restaurant waste because Cindy Crawford says it will make them look like her.

Holy crap, I am in the wrong business!
   28. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:30 AM (#4638538)
Worse, he was married to a prostitute.


Aren't we all? In the nitty gritty of it, aren't we all?
   29. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:31 AM (#4638539)
Worse, he was married to a prostitute.

Well, hell, that is true love, then.
   30. Lassus Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:36 AM (#4638544)
Aren't we all? In the nitty gritty of it, aren't we all?

I thought the child support thread had died.


The same goes for Hollywood - and lemmings actually follow the political and social suggestions of people even more deranged and egotistical than ARod?

The idea that Hollywood is somehow populated with a greater percentage of derangement than a professional sports league is a bit of stretch.
   31. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:37 AM (#4638545)
Holy crap, I am in the wrong business!


The people are stupid and easily led.
   32. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:39 AM (#4638551)
Aren't we all? In the nitty gritty of it, aren't we all?


I suppose the Pop Group is obligatory here.
   33. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: January 14, 2014 at 11:40 AM (#4638554)
I thought


Good for you. We should all try new things even as we age.
   34. Bob Tufts Posted: January 14, 2014 at 12:01 PM (#4638580)
The idea that Hollywood is somehow populated with a greater percentage of derangement than a professional sports league is a bit of stretch.


You doubt me? Forget the crap on TV already, but I guarantee that right now, someone, somewhere in LA is writing the Alex Rodriguez story.
   35. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: January 14, 2014 at 12:01 PM (#4638582)
I saw players use amps (with hilariously poor overmedicated results), go vegetarian, eat the same food every day, get relaxed pre-game by smoking pot and watching afternoon cartoons

How else is a guy supposed to master the release point for a powerful paralyzing perfect pachydermous percussion pitch?
   36. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: January 14, 2014 at 12:02 PM (#4638584)
You doubt me? Forget the crap on TV already, but I guarantee that right now, someone, somewhere in LA is writing the Alex Rodriguez story.


It will sell. They will make money.
   37. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: January 14, 2014 at 12:03 PM (#4638586)
How else is a guy supposed to master the release point for a powerful paralyzing perfect pachydermous percussion pitch?

Either from cartoons, or from Will Carroll.
   38. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: January 14, 2014 at 12:05 PM (#4638588)
You doubt me? Forget the crap on TV already, but I guarantee that right now, someone, somewhere in LA is writing the Alex Rodriguez story.


Forget that doper Rodriguez, America really wants to see "A Bud For All Seasons"
   39. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: January 14, 2014 at 12:06 PM (#4638590)
I guarantee that right now, someone, somewhere in LA is writing the Alex Rodriguez story.

And five of the investigative cop shows are writing the "Bendix Ramirez" story.
   40. Chip Posted: January 14, 2014 at 12:09 PM (#4638593)
Forget that doper Rodriguez, America really wants to see "A Bud For All Seasons"


Only if it also ends with a beheading.
   41. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: January 14, 2014 at 12:11 PM (#4638595)
Only if it also ends with a beheading.

You'll never be able to cut through the hair.
   42. nick swisher hygiene Posted: January 14, 2014 at 12:49 PM (#4638641)
20--yeah; every conservative ####### understands that individual selfishness magically leads to collective good when it comes to the invisible hand, but nobody points out that A-Rod's selfish desire for individual glory was gonna lead to runs on the board in the "Yankees" column.

C'mon, George Will, you wrinkled old ####, write a column!
   43. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: January 14, 2014 at 12:54 PM (#4638644)
Jack Dempsey, famously, washed his fists and face in bull urine to toughen the skin

It's still better than Brut.
   44. puck Posted: January 14, 2014 at 12:56 PM (#4638648)
Players do try some stupid things on a whim. I saw players use amps (with hilariously poor overmedicated results)


Like Five Ives.
   45. Yeaarrgghhhh Posted: January 14, 2014 at 01:05 PM (#4638655)
Why wouldn't hollywood make a movie or TV series re the ARod saga? It's a fascinating story.
   46. Edmundo got dem ol' Kozma blues again mama Posted: January 14, 2014 at 01:20 PM (#4638667)
I assume that your Styx album with "Too Much Time On My Hands" was well worn....

As one for whom Rocky and Bullwinkle was the seminal program of his youth, I resent your implication that cartoon watching is a waste of time.

Besides, I hated Styx.
   47. Bob Tufts Posted: January 14, 2014 at 01:37 PM (#4638686)
From the trailer to the upcoming A-Rod film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2CX20bBNJE

Besides, I hated Styx.


Like A-Rod, almost all people do. And like him, they do not belong in the Hall of Fame either.




   48. The Id of SugarBear Blanks Posted: January 14, 2014 at 02:07 PM (#4638718)
I guess it's harder to find a real doctor who will engage in these shenanigans than we would think?

Of course -- these things are improper to prescribe to normal, healthy people.
   49. jobu Posted: January 14, 2014 at 02:10 PM (#4638724)
Why wouldn't hollywood make a movie or TV series re the ARod saga? It's a fascinating story.


What's the third act?
   50. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: January 14, 2014 at 02:10 PM (#4638725)
Like A-Rod, almost all people do.


Why you sittin' on the bar stool, talkin' like a damn fool, Bob? Got the 12 o'clock news blues?
   51. The Id of SugarBear Blanks Posted: January 14, 2014 at 02:12 PM (#4638728)
But he wanted to hit 800 home runs! That's so selfish!

Cheating your way to 800 home runs is paradigmatically, definitionally selfish.
   52. The Id of SugarBear Blanks Posted: January 14, 2014 at 02:15 PM (#4638733)
Besides, I hated Styx.

I bet Dennis DeYoung has taken HGH.
   53. The Id of SugarBear Blanks Posted: January 14, 2014 at 02:17 PM (#4638736)
As if he wasn't douchey enough already, Styx is rather famously the favorite band of Tony LaRussa.
   54. Nasty Nate Posted: January 14, 2014 at 02:18 PM (#4638739)
Besides, I hated Styx.


Like A-Rod, almost all people do. And like him, they do not belong in the Hall of Fame either.


Would a musicthinkfactory.org be obsessed with Rock N Roll Hall of Fame voting?
   55. bigglou115 Posted: January 14, 2014 at 02:38 PM (#4638766)
What's the third act?


I would think we're watching it. Act 1 is rising star, Act 2 is the big moral quandary, taking the steroids and getting the acclaim leading to the climax of all the revelations, Act 3 is the fallout ending on the somber note that he's lost everything but his big pile of money.
   56. tfbg9 Posted: January 14, 2014 at 02:40 PM (#4638770)
I found it at least a little bit interesting that Bosch seems to have been saying that the "gummy bear" PED's were taken for near immediate effect; were taken in order to play better that particular day, to feel more powerful, see the ball better, have more confidence.

I dunno whether that is/was their real effect or not, but Bosch seems to have had Arod believing that they worked that way, more as a "magic ballplaying pill", rather than as an aid to better, more frequent workouts.

Anybody else notice this?
   57. Edmundo got dem ol' Kozma blues again mama Posted: January 14, 2014 at 02:42 PM (#4638774)
Act 3 is the fallout ending on the somber note that he's lost everything but his big pile of money.

The final shot would be his childhood rocking centaur burning up in the fire.
   58. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: January 14, 2014 at 02:42 PM (#4638776)
ending on the somber note that he's lost everything but his big pile of money.

Not quite a Greek tragedy, huh.

All he's left with is sleeping on a pile of money with many beautiful women (well, ARod won't actually pick beautiful women, but he could).
   59. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: January 14, 2014 at 03:03 PM (#4638800)
I found it at least a little bit interesting that Bosch seems to have been saying that the "gummy bear" PED's were taken for near immediate effect; were taken in order to play better that particular day, to feel more powerful, see the ball better, have more confidence.

I dunno whether that is/was their real effect or not, but Bosch seems to have had Arod believing that they worked that way, more as a "magic ballplaying pill", rather than as an aid to better, more frequent workouts.

Anybody else notice this?


Yeah. The gummies aren't training recovery supplements. They're replacements for amps. Funny how amps are a big ####### deal now that ARod is accused of taking them.
   60. bigglou115 Posted: January 14, 2014 at 03:27 PM (#4638819)
Not quite a Greek tragedy, huh.

All he's left with is sleeping on a pile of money with many beautiful women (well, ARod won't actually pick beautiful women, but he could).


Depends on how you do it. If you play his childhood right then it could be sad. "Little ARod only wants people to love him." Make it more about the fame and adoration than the money and all the money would look hollow at the end. (although, since my personal belief is that money can by love I can only assume that'd work).

Or, do the whole thing from the point of view of some unnamed stud prospect who turns away from baseball because of all the politics and infighting. Make it about how neither steroids or money are killing the game, but how the real threat to the game is all the power jockeying and self serving behavior of everybody involved.
   61. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: January 14, 2014 at 03:33 PM (#4638826)
Film it Scorsese style--excess! excess! excess!
   62. Yeaarrgghhhh Posted: January 14, 2014 at 03:40 PM (#4638835)
We have one of the greatest players in baseball history, a player who
- was the slamdunk, #1 choice in the draft and widely seen as one of the best players in the world when he was 17
- was an MVP candidate as a 20 year old
- left the team that drafted him to signed a $250M FA deal
- was almost traded to the Red Sox before the deal was nixed
- *was* traded to the Yankees
- moved to 3b to keep the Yankee captain happy
- won a WS with the Yankees
- was re-signed to an even bigger deal by the yankees
- was threatening the all time HR record
- has dated Madonna and other celebs
- has a weird, needy personality
- and will now almost certainly end his career in disgrace amid an absurd legal mess orchestrated by Bud Selig to establish his legacy.

The story writes itself.
   63. AROM Posted: January 14, 2014 at 04:14 PM (#4638875)
The A-Rod movie should wait 20 years or so, to show the next generation what they missed. If one came out over the summer, I don't think you could write an accurate script that wouldn't feel like I'm watching a rerun.
   64. jobu Posted: January 14, 2014 at 05:05 PM (#4638934)
The final shot would be his childhood rocking centaur burning up in the fire.


I like it.


I think the third act needs some sort of redemption. Even if it's just a final shot. Think "Boogie Nights" (in fact, the ARod story has parallels with Dirk Diggler's). Maybe it's ARod getting signed to a contract in Japan, then telling himself in the clubhouse mirror what a big star he is. Except instead of a money shot of his tremendous male appendage, it's a close-up of a shriveled-up-due-to-steroids mess.
   65. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: January 14, 2014 at 05:10 PM (#4638938)
I'd settle for A-Rod and Bud, clasping hands and driving into the Grand Canyon.
   66. The Id of SugarBear Blanks Posted: January 14, 2014 at 05:51 PM (#4638978)
Think "Boogie Nights" (in fact, the ARod story has parallels with Dirk Diggler's).

Especially that part where Diggler tries to cut a cover of that cheesy song with the "YOU'RE A WINNER!" chorus.(*) I could totally see A-Rod doing that, only even cheesier. And like maybe in front of a mirror.

(*) "After all is said and done // You never walk, you never run // YOU'RE A WINNER!!"

   67. Jolly Old St. Nick Is A Jolly Old St. Crip Posted: January 14, 2014 at 05:59 PM (#4638981)
We have one of the greatest players in baseball history, a player who
- was the slamdunk, #1 choice in the draft and widely seen as one of the best players in the world when he was 17
- was an MVP candidate as a 20 year old
- left the team that drafted him to signed a $250M FA deal
- was almost traded to the Red Sox before the deal was nixed
- *was* traded to the Yankees
- moved to 3b to keep the Yankee captain happy
- won a WS with the Yankees
- was re-signed to an even bigger deal by the yankees
- was threatening the all time HR record
- has dated Madonna and other celebs
- has a weird, needy personality
- and will now almost certainly end his career in disgrace amid an absurd legal mess orchestrated by Bud Selig to establish his legacy.

The story writes itself.


Well, we'll always have 2009.
   68. The Yankee Clapper Posted: January 14, 2014 at 05:59 PM (#4638982)
In the interest of science, one or more of our more empirically-inclined Primates should take the A-Rod performance enhancing regime and see if they can beat the test. Or maybe that's a job for an investigative reporter? Because what was reported in the arbitration decision seemed like a boatload of stuff on a near-daily schedule. It certainly raises questions about the efficacy of MLB's vaunted testing process that remain unaddressed.
   69. The Id of SugarBear Blanks Posted: January 14, 2014 at 06:10 PM (#4638988)
In the interest of science, one or more of our more empirically-inclined Primates should take the A-Rod performance enhancing regime and see if they can beat the test. Or maybe that's a job for an investigative reporter? Because what was reported in the arbitration decision seemed like a boatload of stuff on a near-daily schedule. It certainly raises questions about the efficacy of MLB's vaunted testing process that remain unaddressed.

With "Doctor" Bosch's vaunted "Only give them the middle third of your piss stream" technique, I'm surprised anyone, anywhere has ever failed a drug test.
   70. shoewizard Posted: January 14, 2014 at 06:47 PM (#4639021)
Jack Dempsey, famously, washed his fists and face in bull urine to toughen the skin

I hope this was before his restaurant days.


When I was a kid my parents took me to his restaurant. He was there greeting people and I shook his hand. He had huge hands.

   71. The District Attorney Posted: January 14, 2014 at 06:57 PM (#4639029)
You never walk, you never run
It's the A-Rod story, not the Cano story.
   72. puck Posted: January 14, 2014 at 07:10 PM (#4639039)

Yeah. The gummies aren't training recovery supplements. They're replacements for amps. Funny how amps are a big ####### deal now that ARod is accused of taking them.

The interview implied the gummies were testorone, though. That's consistent with "micro-dosing": one does it with the idea of getting enough of it in the body to help but not so much as to spike the T:E ratio and set off a positive test.
   73. Rafael Bellylard: Built like a Panda. Posted: January 14, 2014 at 07:30 PM (#4639051)
We must be as stealthy as rats in the wainscoting of their society. It was easier in the old days, of course, and society had more rats when the rules were looser, just as old wooden buildings have more rats than concrete buildings. But there are rats in the building now as well. Now that society is all ferrocrete and stainless steel there are fewer gaps in the joints. It takes a very smart rat indeed to find these openings. Only a stainless steel rat can be at home in this environment


I love me some Stainless Steel Rat.
   74. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: January 14, 2014 at 07:36 PM (#4639055)
I found it at least a little bit interesting that Bosch seems to have been saying that the "gummy bear" PED's were taken for near immediate effect; were taken in order to play better that particular day, to feel more powerful, see the ball better, have more confidence.

I dunno whether that is/was their real effect or not, but Bosch seems to have had Arod believing that they worked that way, more as a "magic ballplaying pill", rather than as an aid to better, more frequent workouts.


In the interest of science, one or more of our more empirically-inclined Primates should take the A-Rod performance enhancing regime and see if they can beat the test.



Wow--I can't believe we've all been so stupid!! Isn't it obvious what was going on? Bosch was a COMPLETE charlatan and fraud to the point that what he was giving ARod had NO steroids, no PED's, no nothing. It was mannitol cut with Dreft.

It explains all the data--why his performance didn't improve and why he never tested positive.
   75. Yastrzemski in left. Posted: January 14, 2014 at 07:54 PM (#4639069)
…And a Centaur in a pear tree.
   76. zenbitz Posted: January 14, 2014 at 07:58 PM (#4639073)
Wow 162 games for homeopathic testosterone.
   77. Johnny Sycophant-Laden Fora Posted: January 14, 2014 at 08:12 PM (#4639089)
With "Doctor" Bosch's vaunted "Only give them the middle third of your piss stream" technique, I'm surprised anyone, anywhere has ever failed a drug test.


That was a great one, compared to how Bosch would do as a witness, McNamee was brilliant (sure Clemens was acquitted, but if Bosch was on the stand, half-way through his testimony the judge would call the prosecutor in for a sidebar, "this is your witness? you're vouching for him? I'll give you a chance to drop this now, or I'll direct a verdict for the defense and refer you to the State Bar's ethics committee")
   78. cercopithecus aethiops Posted: January 14, 2014 at 08:59 PM (#4639108)
It explains all the data--why his performance didn't improve and why he never tested positive.


Colon did test positive, though. Bosch should have known better than to think that guy wouldn't eat the whole bag of gummies at once.
   79. Srul Itza Posted: January 14, 2014 at 10:10 PM (#4639146)
Again, we're talking about a population that wears giant rope necklaces during games because they "stabalize the electrical currents in your body."



If you believe you're playing well because you're getting laid, or because you're not getting laid, or because you wear women's underwear, then you *are*! And you should know that!

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