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Thursday, August 23, 2012

Roger Clemens shines in amateur softball league

This sport’s only big enough for one feigner! (point made…denizen of Codgerville returns to fleshing out his Willis Bouchey scrapbook)

With his wife, two youngest sons and mother-in-law watching from behind the backstop’s chain-link fence, Roger Clemens shuffled his feet in left-center field to the beat of salsa and Mexican banda music Wednesday night.

If you didn’t know any better or bother to look closely at the men wearing hearing aids, you’d say the atmosphere at Bayland Park’s Field 1 had all the makings of a competitive high school game.

In this league, as he was throughout his legendary 24-year major league career, Clemens is the star. He’s the guy who prompts teammates and competitors to pick it up. A lot.

“I’m glad he’s here,” said 56-year-old retired FedEx employee Rafael Flores. “I’m going to make him run.”

Everybody in the Harris County Senior Softball League, it seems, wants to test the Rocket’s arm in left-center.

As usual, the 50-year-old Clemens was ready.

...For the record, Clemens wears No. 21 for the Hendricks Sports Management team.

Hendricks hit a walk-off single up the middle in the bottom of the sixth inning to produce a 16-15 victory, and his youngest and most celebrated teammate was the first to greet him with a high-five.
“I don’t feel 50,” Clemens said. “Everybody tells you 50 is the new 40, right?”

Repoz Posted: August 23, 2012 at 01:02 PM | 8 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: astros, softball

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   1. Fred Lynn Nolan Ryan Sweeney Agonistes Posted: August 23, 2012 at 01:55 PM (#4215973)
Everybody in the Harris County Senior Softball League, it seems, wants to test the Rocket’s arm in left-center.

Well, sure, I'd want to see that. Along with how well he plays the position in general.
The best OF arm I've ever seen in softball was a guy I played with in Virginia about 10 years ago. That league was all doubleheaders (1-1 count, 1 hr time limit, great for getting in lots of ball & then hitting the bar). I was in LF & this guy always played LCF; in one doubleheader he threw out four guys at third - every throw on a line, knee-high, right on the bag. Never saw anything like it; could NOT figure out why they kept trying to run on him. Maybe they just couldn't believe it, I dunno.
   2. Random Transaction Generator Posted: August 23, 2012 at 01:59 PM (#4215983)
In case anyone was wondering, Clemens had a .443 OPS in 213 PA over his major league career.
13BB, 61K, 6 doubles, 1 sac fly, and twice hit-by-pitch.

   3. jobu Posted: August 23, 2012 at 02:08 PM (#4215998)
I was stunned to click through and discover this was not an Onion article. "56-year-old retired FedEx employee Rafael Flores" seemed like exactly the sort of detail the Onion would include.

The best part, for me, was this. After Clemens hit a double...

Clemens was asked if he wanted a pinch runner. He nodded, and 60-year-old natural gas trader Greg Jallans jogged out to replace Clemens.



   4. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: August 23, 2012 at 02:21 PM (#4216023)
Monty Burns is surely going to win his bet with Aristotle Amadopoulos!
   5. The Long Arm of Rudy Law Posted: August 23, 2012 at 02:58 PM (#4216084)
Mike Piazza won't be eligible for the league for another six years.
   6. bads85 Posted: August 23, 2012 at 03:23 PM (#4216115)
Clemens announced he was pitching for an independent team -- the Sugarland Skeeters.
   7. Derb Posted: August 23, 2012 at 04:14 PM (#4216195)
Well, sure, I'd want to see that. Along with how well he plays the position in general.
The best OF arm I've ever seen in softball was a guy I played with in Virginia about 10 years ago. That league was all doubleheaders (1-1 count, 1 hr time limit, great for getting in lots of ball & then hitting the bar). I was in LF & this guy always played LCF; in one doubleheader he threw out four guys at third - every throw on a line, knee-high, right on the bag. Never saw anything like it; could NOT figure out why they kept trying to run on him. Maybe they just couldn't believe it, I dunno.


I play in a similar style league. Most players in the league are like me: decent high school players but nothing more. There are a few who never even played high school ball, and a few who were never really good at baseball but can hit the living crap out of a softball.

Then there's one guy on our team. Like the guy you describe, we put him in left center, and he has a cannon. Last year, in the tournament, he threw a guy out at third when he rounded the base a bit too far. Seriously. The throw wasn't made to third until the guy rounded third. Bad base running, yes, but an even better throw. No one really runs on him anymore after throwing out several runners last year.

Of course, it isn't really fair that he's 25 and was a college centerfielder just three years ago, whereas most everyone else in the league is in their mid-30's.
   8. Bitter Calculus Instructor Posted: August 23, 2012 at 06:20 PM (#4216288)
just wait until he gets hypnotized to think he's a chicken

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