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Thursday, September 12, 2013

Sammy Sosa, is that you?

The Twilight Saga ran its course, and ‘True Blood’ is pretty cemented with its characters. But for whoever comes up with the next vampire film or series idea looking for a strong male lead, it looks like a disgraced former MLB slugger is looking for you.

Sammy Sosa appeared on television in Panama the other day, and a disturbing photo with who appears to be Panamanian TV personality Nairobi Dacosta showing his otherworldly appearance made its way to the masses via Twitter. Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports gave voice to what must be a common reaction.

 

RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: September 12, 2013 at 03:03 PM | 38 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: cubs, orioles, peds, rangers, sammy sosa, white sox

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   1. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: September 12, 2013 at 03:51 PM (#4539988)
Good christ.

It's as if he's undergone a species-change operation, a la Michael Jackson.
   2. BDC Posted: September 12, 2013 at 03:53 PM (#4539989)
I saw this picture in the dictionary the other day beside the term "Uncanny Valley."
   3. The District Attorney Posted: September 12, 2013 at 03:56 PM (#4539991)
   4. Juilin Sandar to Conkling Speedwell (Arjun) Posted: September 12, 2013 at 03:58 PM (#4539994)
   5. Chone Mueller Posted: September 12, 2013 at 03:59 PM (#4539995)
Wow! That's Sammy Sosa? So, who is the guy on the right?
   6. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: September 12, 2013 at 04:07 PM (#4540005)
It looks like that Eddie Murphy sketch on SNL when he has makeup dress him up as a white man so he can see what it feels like.
   7. Moe Greene Posted: September 12, 2013 at 04:20 PM (#4540021)
That's a pretty realistic Sammy Sosa mask.
   8. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: September 12, 2013 at 04:24 PM (#4540025)
Well, I think it's kind of weird, but if it makes him happy, mazel tov.
   9. JRVJ Posted: September 12, 2013 at 04:26 PM (#4540028)
I exchanged tweets with Jeff Passan about this (we had some nice banter about it), and in fact, Sammy DIDN'T look like this ALL DAY.

He was, in fact, here in Panama promoting some sort of real estate development in which he is an investor.

Also, a friend of mine had invited him to a thing with Sammy on Tuesday (couldn't go, but he sent me pictures), and he didn't look otherwordly, just a couple of hours after the offending picture with Nairobi DaCosta.
   10. Don Geovany Soto (chris h.) Posted: September 12, 2013 at 04:40 PM (#4540045)
Did Sammy just get eaten by a plastic trash bin?
   11. The Clarence Thomas of BBTF (scott) Posted: September 12, 2013 at 05:30 PM (#4540116)
Man, his eyes in that picture are creeping me out. No Sammy, you may not enter my home.
   12. Joe Bivens, Minor Genius Posted: September 12, 2013 at 05:44 PM (#4540125)
Kids, don't do steroids.
   13. jdennis Posted: September 12, 2013 at 05:45 PM (#4540126)
it's a skin cream that looks bad in a particular lighting. there were pictures of him at a red carpet a couple years ago with the same effect.
   14. Gonfalon B. Posted: September 12, 2013 at 05:51 PM (#4540131)
My three favorite television characters are Gus Fring, Eddie Munster and the terrifying baby sun from "Teletubbies"... and Sammy Sosa is all three at once!
   15. dejarouehg Posted: September 12, 2013 at 05:59 PM (#4540139)
Roman Maroni lives! Fargin' Iceholes!
   16. Harveys Wallbangers Posted: September 12, 2013 at 06:11 PM (#4540148)
he looks like a latino jerry lewis
   17. Topher Posted: September 12, 2013 at 06:24 PM (#4540156)
   18. the Hugh Jorgan returns Posted: September 12, 2013 at 06:37 PM (#4540162)
I vant to suck yer blood!
   19. Publius Publicola Posted: September 12, 2013 at 06:49 PM (#4540170)
Sammy DIDN'T look like this ALL DAY.


He looks like Manuel Noriega in those photos.
   20. Shock Posted: September 12, 2013 at 08:29 PM (#4540235)
I don't even understand this. He looks exactly like ... Sammy Sosa. Not surprising, since he is Sammy Sosa. What the heck is everyone talking about?
   21. Repoz Posted: September 12, 2013 at 10:07 PM (#4540319)
So there will be a fourth film added to The Karnstein Trilogy. Interesting.
   22. Roger Cedeno's Spleen Posted: September 12, 2013 at 10:40 PM (#4540355)
WHY SO SERIOUS?
   23. Esoteric Posted: September 12, 2013 at 11:23 PM (#4540389)
Gotta say I'm on the same page as Calm in #20. People are really overdoing this stuff. He looks...like he always has looked, albeit with hair slicked back in a less-than-flattering way. So what?
   24. Morty Causa Posted: September 13, 2013 at 12:03 AM (#4540429)
Jeez, and women say men never criticize the way men look.
   25. Misirlou is on hiding to nowhere Posted: September 13, 2013 at 12:05 AM (#4540430)
In the link in #3, Sammy looks pretty good, and completely normal.
   26. the Hugh Jorgan returns Posted: September 13, 2013 at 02:18 AM (#4540456)
Gotta say I'm on the same page as Calm in #20. People are really overdoing this stuff


stick.in.the.mud.

C'mon man, where's your sense of humour? The photo is funny in a goofy way. Maybe this type of humour is beneath you?
   27. Brian C Posted: September 13, 2013 at 04:06 AM (#4540459)
The photo is funny in a goofy way. Maybe this type of humour is beneath you?

Maybe he just thinks people are really overdoing it? But if this type of humor is beneath him, than he has my admiration, personally.
   28. Joe Bivens, Minor Genius Posted: September 13, 2013 at 06:01 AM (#4540469)
Oh geez. Forget about HOW he looks...the whole photo array is ridiculous. It's pointless, and having the same caption over and over is bizarre.
   29. John DiFool2 Posted: September 13, 2013 at 09:44 AM (#4540541)
I don't even understand this. He looks exactly like ... Sammy Sosa. Not surprising, since he is Sammy Sosa. What the heck is everyone talking about?


[Invasion of the Body Snatchers scream and point]
   30. Dock Ellis on Acid Posted: September 13, 2013 at 09:58 AM (#4540554)
We talked about this four years ago.
   31. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: September 13, 2013 at 10:08 AM (#4540559)

I don't even understand this. He looks exactly like ... Sammy Sosa. Not surprising, since he is Sammy Sosa. What the heck is everyone talking about?


His skin is much, much lighter than it used to be, and looks unnaturally so.
   32. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: September 13, 2013 at 10:24 AM (#4540574)
Good lord -- #s 20, 23 & 27 strongly suggested that Ray's patented Raybotic Tone-Deafness to Humor is communicable.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
   33. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: September 13, 2013 at 10:34 AM (#4540588)
Next, IIRC, comes the disappearance of all human emotion ...
   34. My name is Votto, and I love to get blotto Posted: September 13, 2013 at 12:01 PM (#4540670)
SWAG. That is the fattest necktie knot I've ever seen.

He looks like he should be Jack Black's business partner in "Bernie", or Paul Bearer's WWE successor.
   35. The Id of SugarBear Blanks Posted: September 13, 2013 at 12:10 PM (#4540678)
He looks like Ryan Gosling in Drive wearing the stunt mask.
   36. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: September 13, 2013 at 12:24 PM (#4540692)
This screws up the Ralph Wiley line about if Sammy Sosa show up at your door to pick up your daughter, he's not Dominican, he's black.
   37. Don Geovany Soto (chris h.) Posted: September 13, 2013 at 01:04 PM (#4540729)
He looks like plastic Mickey from the first Doctor Who story of the new series, Rose.
   38. Baldrick Posted: September 14, 2013 at 12:50 PM (#4541462)
He looks like plastic Mickey from the first Doctor Who story of the new series, Rose.

OMG yes. I had an uncanny feeling of recognition and couldn't figure out what it was. It was Mickey the Idiot!

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