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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Soria asks everyone to stop calling him the ‘Mexicutioner’

Joakim Soria made the request early Tuesday in the understated manner by which he typically closes out any game where the Royals enter the ninth inning with a slim lead.

It came as a request sent out on his Twitter account that asked – asked not demanded – that everyone stop referring to him as the Mexicutioner:

“How about we change my nickname to something positive? In support to Mexico to stop all the violence!!!”...

“I didn’t really care about the nickname,” Soria said, “until I see all of that (violence) in Mexico. Calling me the Mexicutioner, that’s a bad thing. In a baseball way, it’s not that bad. Really, it’s a great thing. But I want to support my people.

“When people in Mexico watch TV to try to forget about all of the violence – and then they see the nickname `Mexicutioner’ – that’s a bad thing.”

The Mexi-“Life Without the Possibility of Parole”-er doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: February 23, 2011 at 03:44 AM | 93 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: royals

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   1. Gold Star for Robothal Posted: February 23, 2011 at 04:13 AM (#3756344)
And in honor of Royals great George Brett, Soria has also requested that no one begin calling him 'Rectal Mexamination.'
   2. Steve Phillips' Hot Cougar (DrStankus) Posted: February 23, 2011 at 04:38 AM (#3756351)
As everyone knows, Rebecca Gayheart is the real Mexicutioner
   3. Tripon Posted: February 23, 2011 at 04:38 AM (#3756352)
The Mexi-loverer?
   4. Russlan is fond of Dillon Gee Posted: February 23, 2011 at 04:47 AM (#3756357)
It's nice for an athlete to pay attention to things like this.
   5. spike Posted: February 23, 2011 at 04:51 AM (#3756360)
I guess "Frito Bandito" is right out then.
   6. Esoteric Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:02 AM (#3756366)
This is actually a pretty decent reason for him to beg off the name. Touching, really -- the violence in Mexico is out of control, and people here are barely aware of it.
   7. JoeC Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:18 AM (#3756373)
Right on, Joakim. Somebody cover Chris Berman's ears, though.
   8. McCoy Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:34 AM (#3756380)
This is actually a pretty decent reason for him to beg off the name. Touching, really -- the violence in Mexico is out of control, and people here are barely aware of it.

And changing your nickname or having that nickname relates to that how?
   9. Hugh Jorgan Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:40 AM (#3756382)
#8
Geez McCoy, you're a tough crowd. Just by addressing the issue, he's probably made more people aware of the rampant violence and lawlessness that is the current Mexican state of affairs.
   10. McCoy Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:51 AM (#3756386)
And him tweeting about the violence won't do that? Or him springing for a PSA in America won't do a better job? Or him doing the rounds on the networks won't do a better job?
   11. Xander Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:57 AM (#3756388)
It's a fair request and also a shame, since its the best nickname in baseball.
   12. Halofan Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:59 AM (#3756390)
I think it is up to McCoy to detail how the player's nickname change request is found wanting.
   13. McCoy Posted: February 23, 2011 at 06:01 AM (#3756392)
Wanting for what?

I asked how is changing your nickname or having a nickname mean anything really in regards to out of control violence in Mexico.
   14. Hugh Jorgan Posted: February 23, 2011 at 06:03 AM (#3756393)
McCoy, all your suggestions are somewhat valid. He may choose to do some of those things, but right now he obviously believes the moniker is not appropriate given the circumstances. I wouldn't read too much into it. If he reckons he's doing the right thing, then that's o.k. with me..and a few of the other posters.
   15. Halofan Posted: February 23, 2011 at 06:04 AM (#3756394)
But what you are really asking for is suppositions for you to shoot down. Why do you bother asking questions when your mind is already made up?
   16. willcarrolldoesnotsuk Posted: February 23, 2011 at 06:18 AM (#3756398)
HOW DARE JOAKIM SORIA DO THIS WHEN HE HASN'T EVEN BROUGHT ABOUT WORLD PEACE YET
   17. Avoid running at all times.-S. Paige Posted: February 23, 2011 at 06:35 AM (#3756406)
Soria has taken down his tweet because it's so insulting. Baseball players and public figures really should think before they post on the internet crazy, controversial statements.
   18. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: February 23, 2011 at 06:51 AM (#3756411)
Bob Ferguson killed the passenger pigeon.
   19.   Posted: February 23, 2011 at 07:04 AM (#3756413)
Yeah, he isn't saying that changing his nickname is going to solve the problems in Mexico. He just isn't particularly comfortable with people calling him that given the circumstances. Makes sense to me.

And I know a thing or two about changing nicknames.
   20. Walt Davis Posted: February 23, 2011 at 07:18 AM (#3756415)
In a strange but brilliant marketing move, Soria signs endorsement deals with Kotex and Apple to be nicknamed the Mexipad. Violent arguments break out over the proper pronunciation.

Somebody cover Chris Berman's ears, though.

Joakim K Soria Soria

Joakim the Dinosaur Soria

Joakim like an Egyptian Soria (showing solidarity with the Egyptian protestors)

Joakim love means never having to say you're Soria

Joakim I wish there was a famous song title ending in Korea Soria

Joakim Leather gave me Gone-a-Soria

Joakim there's never been a girl like Soria
   21. Avoid running at all times.-S. Paige Posted: February 23, 2011 at 08:11 AM (#3756429)
A career, career, Korea! Korea! Soria! Soria!
   22. Fred Lynn Nolan Ryan Sweeney Agonistes Posted: February 23, 2011 at 08:32 AM (#3756432)
Who's Soria, now?
   23. Zach Posted: February 23, 2011 at 09:03 AM (#3756436)
Good for Soria. It's got to be an uncomfortable nickname when there are so many actual executions going on in Mexico right now.

It's also a shame, because it was a great nickname and will be hard to replace.

Soria always gives me a Clint Eastwood vibe, as though he's spent a lot of time brooding in a high plains saloon.
   24. Dan Szymborski Posted: February 23, 2011 at 09:08 AM (#3756439)
More gentler nicknames:

Frank "The Big Hug" Thomas
"Elected Head of State" Felix Hernandez
Bob "Psychiatric Counseling to Flying Things" Ferguson
Al "The Nice Hungarian" Hrabosky
Vladimir "Vlad the Negotiator" Guerrero
Pablo "Handshake Panda" Sandoval
   25.   Posted: February 23, 2011 at 09:28 AM (#3756442)
Joakim Soria
Side retired, in order
A Mexicution
   26. Obo Posted: February 23, 2011 at 10:12 AM (#3756444)
Randy "The Medium Unit" Johnson
   27. The NeverEnding Torii (oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh) Posted: February 23, 2011 at 01:15 PM (#3756457)
If he wants to be positive and we're supposed to give him a "K-Rod"-type nickname, why can't we just call him Positive K?

"HE GOT A NICKNAME"

I'm not tryin' to hear that, see.
   28. The Robby Hammock District (Dan Lee) Posted: February 23, 2011 at 01:28 PM (#3756460)
"HE GOT A NICKNAME"

I'm not tryin' to hear that, see.
He got a what? How long he had that problem?
   29. The Robby Hammock District (Dan Lee) Posted: February 23, 2011 at 01:37 PM (#3756462)
Mark "The Spoon" Belanger
Matt "The Carson Cuddler" Williams
Jack "The Giant Helper" Pfiester
Nerf Ball Titcomb
Hensley "Tap Tap" Meulens
   30. Rusty Priske Posted: February 23, 2011 at 02:39 PM (#3756477)
Good for him.
   31. Greg Maddux School of Reflexive Profanity Posted: February 23, 2011 at 02:47 PM (#3756480)
It's embarrassing that in over ten hours no one has proposed "Pac-Man" as an alternative.
   32. The Most Interesting Man In The World Posted: February 23, 2011 at 02:56 PM (#3756484)
Joakim "Why Can't We All Be Friends?" Soria
Joakim "What The ****'s My Name?" Soria
"Try" Joakim "In My Shoes" Soria
   33. Zach Posted: February 23, 2011 at 02:58 PM (#3756487)
Joakim, I saw, I conquered?
   34. Cabbage Posted: February 23, 2011 at 03:13 PM (#3756493)
Joakemosabe
   35. McCoy Posted: February 23, 2011 at 03:55 PM (#3756521)
But what you are really asking for is suppositions for you to shoot down. Why do you bother asking questions when your mind is already made up?

I'm not asking questions to help form an opinion.
   36. My name is Votto, and I love to get blotto Posted: February 23, 2011 at 03:57 PM (#3756524)
The Sexecutioner
   37. Dan Szymborski Posted: February 23, 2011 at 04:06 PM (#3756531)
While Soria's concerns are well-considered, it's simply bad karma to turn down a really awesome nickname, no matter how distasteful. The easiest thing to do is just inform Soria that option #2 is the Mexissassin.
   38. Jolly Old St. Nick Is A Jolly Old St. Crip Posted: February 23, 2011 at 04:43 PM (#3756561)
While Soria's concerns are well-considered, it's simply bad karma to turn down a really awesome nickname

I tend to agree. What about The Polish Threadkiller? (smiles at gunpoint)
   39. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: February 23, 2011 at 04:51 PM (#3756573)
How about Mexcellent?
   40. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: February 23, 2011 at 04:53 PM (#3756576)
I'm not asking questions to help form an opinion.


We know, you formed an ironclad opinion after thinking about the issue for 0.1 second and now you can't comprehend why anyone else would be so stupid as to think anything else. It's happened before.
   41. geonose Posted: February 23, 2011 at 04:58 PM (#3756579)
How about Mexcellent?

Along the same vein, a suggestion seen on another site: His Mexcellency.
   42. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:10 PM (#3756592)
How bout "The Mexican"?
   43. tfbg9 Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:12 PM (#3756594)
24 is awesome
   44. SoSH U at work Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:12 PM (#3756595)
Have we considered a nickname that doesn't reflect his nationality at all?
   45. Greg Maddux School of Reflexive Profanity Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:15 PM (#3756599)
it's simply bad karma to turn down a really awesome nickname

It's great karma to turn down a co-opted one, though.
   46. McCoy Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:22 PM (#3756609)

We know, you formed an ironclad opinion after thinking about the issue for 0.1 second and now you can't comprehend why anyone else would be so stupid as to think anything else. It's happened before.


I find it amusing that people who have a different opinion than yourself automatically assume that somehow you can't comprehend their side. It's as if if they could just get you to see their side you would figure out just how right they really are.
   47. I Left Tim Raines Down In Africa Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:24 PM (#3756610)
Relocate the Royals. Then he could be Joakim in Memphis.
   48. Fernigal McGunnigle has become a merry hat Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:31 PM (#3756615)
Joakimchi. Because kimchi, like Soria's curve, is really nasty.
   49. gay guy in cut-offs smoking the objective pipe Posted: February 23, 2011 at 05:46 PM (#3756627)
Have we considered a nickname that doesn't reflect his nationality at all?

Joakim "The All American" Soria.
   50. Willie Mayspedester Posted: February 23, 2011 at 06:23 PM (#3756660)
Pablo "Handshake Panda" Sandoval


Could call him what me and co-workers call Panda Express...

Sexual harassment, Pandaaaaaaa!
   51. attaboy Posted: February 23, 2011 at 06:36 PM (#3756668)
Mark "The Spoon" Belanger
That just cracked me up! Not sure I post enough to nominate but that deserves a Primey!
   52. TVerik, the gum-snappin' hairdresser Posted: February 23, 2011 at 06:38 PM (#3756669)
He won't be cracking the "most saves" leaderboard this year, so what's the point?
   53. Bourbon Samurai in Asia Posted: February 23, 2011 at 06:45 PM (#3756677)
I'm going to go ahead and give credit for the decrease in crime in D.C. to the Wizards changing their name from the Bullets, so I support this change.

Joakim "The Bullpen Wizard" Soria! Behold!
   54. dr. scott Posted: February 23, 2011 at 06:46 PM (#3756678)
Panda "The Runs" Express?
   55. DKDC Posted: February 23, 2011 at 06:50 PM (#3756682)
Better Luck Mex Time!
(get on up like a) Mex Machine
Mex-ual Assault
   56. Jolly Old St. Nick Is A Jolly Old St. Crip Posted: February 23, 2011 at 07:05 PM (#3756698)
Jack "They Call Me 'Negotiator'" Tatum

The 1982 Miami Dolphins "Honey Bees" defense
   57. Steve Phillips' Hot Cougar (DrStankus) Posted: February 23, 2011 at 07:14 PM (#3756703)
What's so great about calling him 'Mexicutioner'?

It's not really original. Wasn't Manny Pacquiao called this early on, for the number of Latin fighters he beat? I'd wouldn't be suprised if he was not the first either.
   58. SoSH U at work Posted: February 23, 2011 at 07:19 PM (#3756705)
What's so great about calling him 'Mexicutioner'?


Agreed. If it's really the best nickname in baseball, it says more about the sorry state of nicknaming than anything great about Soria's.
   59. bads85 Posted: February 23, 2011 at 07:26 PM (#3756713)
Wasn't Manny Pacquiao called this early on,


Yes, and he told people he didn't want to be called this also.
   60. Dan Szymborski Posted: February 23, 2011 at 07:31 PM (#3756716)
Stan "The Person" Musial
"Jokin' Joe" DiMaggio
Hugh "Great Effort" Mulcahy
Don "Stan the Person Typical" Stanhouse
Floyd "No-Calorie Sugar Substitute Bear" Rayford
Honus "The Mass Transit Dutchman" Wagner
Garry "The Secretary of Health and Human Services" Maddox
John "The Vegetable Man" Candelaria
Paul "Big Multivitamin Supplement" Waner
Ozzie "The City Planner of Oz" Smith
"Caloric American" Freddie Fitzsimmons
"Big Salad" Mark McGwire
Dennis "Ethanol Can" Boyd
   61. My name is Votto, and I love to get blotto Posted: February 23, 2011 at 07:47 PM (#3756729)
Agreed. If it's really the best nickname in baseball, it says more about the sorry state of nicknaming than anything great about Soria's.


I'm trying to think of some others: Pronk. Manny Being Manny. The Flyin' Hawaiian. "Big Papi" is pretty good.
   62. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: February 23, 2011 at 07:48 PM (#3756730)
Have we considered a nickname that doesn't reflect his nationality at all?

Okay, how about "Der Fuehrer"? No one can complain about that.
   63. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: February 23, 2011 at 07:53 PM (#3756733)
I'd wouldn't be suprised if he was not the first either.


Joey Beltran uses it, too.
   64. Joe OBrien Posted: February 23, 2011 at 07:58 PM (#3756739)
Mature Equine Radbourn
   65. Styles P. Deadball Posted: February 23, 2011 at 08:00 PM (#3756743)
How dare Soria paint us into a corner by asking nicely for people to respect his feelings. Doesn't he know that we now have to question his heart and competitiveness by his continual refusal to ##### his way out of playing in Kansas City?

This behavior won't play in New York.
   66. Steve Phillips' Hot Cougar (DrStankus) Posted: February 23, 2011 at 08:02 PM (#3756745)
I'm partial to Shane 'Rectum Face' Victorino.
   67. Sheer Tim Foli Posted: February 23, 2011 at 08:38 PM (#3756779)
What about Christ-puncher?
   68. Spute Posted: February 23, 2011 at 08:53 PM (#3756795)
Stan "The Person" Musial is brilliant.
   69. Ron Johnson Posted: February 23, 2011 at 08:58 PM (#3756797)
Walt, I'm surprised you missed, "How do you solve a problem like Soria?"
   70. Los Angeles El Hombre of Anaheim Posted: February 23, 2011 at 09:13 PM (#3756812)
Bucky "F as in Friend" Dent.
   71. The Keith Law Blog Blah Blah (battlekow) Posted: February 23, 2011 at 09:16 PM (#3756813)
"Soria" + "Mexican" = Sorex, so we should call him Kate.

EDIT: Ryan "Quantum State Solution" Braun
   72. The Marksist Posted: February 23, 2011 at 10:20 PM (#3756871)
Someone over at Calcaterra's blog suggested His Mexellence.
   73. Tuque Posted: February 23, 2011 at 11:43 PM (#3756941)
Someone over at Calcaterra's blog suggested His Mexellence.

I think this is the winner.
   74. The NeverEnding Torii (oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh) Posted: February 24, 2011 at 01:32 AM (#3756994)
The Mexellence of Mexicution.
   75. The Clarence Thomas of BBTF (scott) Posted: February 24, 2011 at 02:25 AM (#3757015)
There's some really good alternative nicknames here. "Joakim love means never having to say you're Soria" is EXACTLY what Chris Berman would use if he can't use Mexicutioner. In fact, I think he'd use it INSTEAD of Mexicutioner if he learned of it.

And good on Soria; McCoy aside I think we can all agree that anything that draws awareness to the really shitty state of affairs in parts of Mexico right now is a good thing, if only because some percentage of us will then get off our asses to do something about it.
   76. The Clarence Thomas of BBTF (scott) Posted: February 24, 2011 at 02:27 AM (#3757016)
I'm sorry, Ryan Braun has to be The Hebrew Hammer.
   77. cardsfanboy Posted: February 24, 2011 at 02:57 AM (#3757029)
another vote for Mexcellence.
   78. WillYoung Posted: February 24, 2011 at 03:10 AM (#3757036)
I had a client today who was looking at an ICE hold (after I helped him plead guilty to a DWI). His brother came to the courthouse and was just trying to get him is Mexico ID simply because they're all terrified about ICE just dropping him off in Mexico at present without any form of identification. To them, the current violence is way more serious than I imagined.
   79. Kurt Posted: February 24, 2011 at 03:21 AM (#3757041)
Can't believe Szym missed Scotch-Tapin' Hank Aaron.
   80. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: February 24, 2011 at 03:52 AM (#3757067)
I'm sorry, Ryan Braun has to be The Hebrew Hammer.


But he could also tap into the lucrative Hispanic market if he'd agree to go by "El Yid."
   81. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: February 24, 2011 at 03:59 AM (#3757073)
From now on, he will be known as T-Bone Koko the Monkey.
   82. Steve Phillips' Hot Cougar (DrStankus) Posted: February 24, 2011 at 04:48 AM (#3757093)
And good on Soria; McCoy aside I think we can all agree that anything that draws awareness to the really shitty state of affairs in parts of Mexico right now is a good thing, if only because some percentage of us will then get off our asses to do something about it.


I always look for the 'Shipped thru Miami' label on all the coke I buy.
   83. Cris E Posted: February 24, 2011 at 05:57 AM (#3757115)
Have we considered a nickname that doesn't reflect his nationality at all?

I think Mexual Assault (#55) really transcends borders.

Joakim Soria Shot and Beheaded You isn't really specifically Mexican, as Libya could possibly lay claim to it as well.
   84. Steve Treder Posted: February 24, 2011 at 07:01 AM (#3757128)
The state of affairs in Mexico right now is incredibly bad, and should be terrifying to everyone. I love Mexico. I've been there many times, and loved it.

I would not travel there outside of a major city/tourist area now unless absolutely forced to. It is really, really bad there now.
   85. CrosbyBird Posted: February 24, 2011 at 08:02 AM (#3757138)
Mordecai "Perfectly Acceptable Number of Digits" Brown.
Frank "Moderate Suffering" Thomas
Juan "Eccentric Scientist's Assistant" Gonzalez
Edward Charles "Caucasian" Ford
Roy "No Actual Medical Degree" Halladay
   86. Athletic Supporter can feel the slow rot Posted: February 24, 2011 at 11:37 AM (#3757147)
Canines:

Mo "Lovingly Caress Labrador" Vaughn
Fred "Random Acts Of Kindness Golden Retriever" McGriff
Lance "Pair of Puppies" Johnson
Greg "Sane Great Dane" Maddux
Tony "Small Cute Poodle" Perez
Orel "Basset Hound" Hershiser
Orlando "No-Bite" Hudson
   87. Ron J Posted: February 24, 2011 at 11:40 AM (#3757148)
From Bill James' piece on nicknames of the 30s

Left-Handed pitcher: Gimpy
Right-Handed pitcher: Wimpy (also Line Drive, Boom Boom)
Catcher: Blimp
First Base: Stinky
Second Base: Inky
Third Base: Pinkie
Shortstop: Rowdy Richard
Left Field: Twitchy
Center Field: Snooker
Right Field: Ducky Wucky
   88. Jolly Old St. Nick Is A Jolly Old St. Crip Posted: February 24, 2011 at 12:47 PM (#3757157)
Right-Handed pitcher: Wimpy (also Line Drive, Boom Boom)

I'd stick with Losing Pitcher Mulcahy. And my all-time favorite nickname is still Dave "Oops" Stewart.
   89. The Id of SugarBear Blanks Posted: February 24, 2011 at 01:29 PM (#3757160)
One of Mike Epstein's baseball cards notes that his nickname was "SuperJew."
   90. Steve Phillips' Hot Cougar (DrStankus) Posted: February 24, 2011 at 06:49 PM (#3757375)
Orel "Basset Hound" Hershiser


Hmm. My Basset hounds have never been sanctimonious pricks. Nor Dodgers.

And nor could they. Bassets are the source of all that is good and light in the universe.
   91. CraigK Posted: February 24, 2011 at 06:56 PM (#3757380)
Frank "20 to 40 years with the possibility of parole" Howard
   92. Gamingboy Posted: February 24, 2011 at 07:01 PM (#3757383)
Roger "Firework" Clemens
"Shoewearing-impaired" Joe Jackson
Hideki "Minya" Matsui

(Did I do two Godzilla related replies today? Yes!)
   93. Zach Posted: February 24, 2011 at 07:07 PM (#3757388)
Soriano

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