I’d like to hear his thoughts on Adam Dunn.

Don't forget Gil Meche.

He's reunited with Keith. That's nice.

This will be interesting.

This will not be interesting.

I will never know whether this turns out interesting.

Does J.P. Riccardi going to work for ESPN really require anonymous sourcing?

What, America and Canada can't wait any longer for that news?

I wish him well.

I wonder what being a talking head on ESPN pays as a percentage of what a GM makes. Cot's says that Gaston makes "about" $2M / year, but it has no info on Riccardi's replacement, Anthopolous.

I wonder if he'll be Bill Watters level dumb, or just Doug MacLean level.

Nomar, Aaron Boone and JP Ricciardi. Does Keith Law do regular Baseball Tonight spots?

I wonder if MLB Network means that ESPN has decided it needs to up its game and stop giving us so much Kruk and other various related idiocies.

I wonder if he'll be Bill Watters level dumb, or just Doug MacLean level.


You're about to experience the capital of dumb. Now a whole continent will be able to experience his stupidity. Hopefully he shares his philosophical gems such as "It's not lying if we know the truth." Canada has maintained this rich source of humour too long. It's time for the world to share the pleasure.

I wonder if MLB Network means that ESPN has decided it needs to up its game

Hugging Harold Reynolds vs Huggy Bear.

Should be interesting.

I don't know that he's dumb so much as terrible at dealing with the public.

Good for him for choosing a job that forces him to work on his weaknesses.
It would be like if I got a job that involved me doing things.

Wow, Boone, J.P., maybe Nomar? BBTN is going to need to build "Match Game"-style two-tiered seating.

I wonder if MLB Network means that ESPN has decided it needs to up its game and stop giving us so much Kruk and other various related idiocies.

Like ESPN baseball guys going on "Mike & Mike" and joking about how Kruk clogs up the bathroom in their stupid little Grapefruit League tour bus?

(Yes, that happened.)

Like ESPN baseball guys going on "Mike & Mike" and joking about how Kruk clogs up the bathroom in their stupid little Grapefruit League tour bus?

(Yes, that happened.)

That's quality insight from ESPN's top-level baseball analysts.

Somebody has to take over the inept-GM-as-analyst role from Steve Phillips.

I wonder if he will speak his mind regarding players, coaches and gm's? Seemed a kinda quiet fellow in Toronto.

I wonder if he will speak his mind regarding players, coaches and gm's? Seemed a kinda quiet fellow in Toronto.

Except, of course, regarding Adam Dunn.

Wow, Boone, J.P., maybe Nomar? BBTN is going to need to build "Match Game"-style two-tiered seating.

Karl Ravech: Our guest tonight is former Baseball Tonight analyst Steve Phillips. Steve, here you go. David Ortiz is sooo slow...

Crowd: HOW SLOW IS HE?

Ravech: Ortiz is so slow, the only thing he can outrun is a blank.

(pseudo-porn soundtrack plays)

Ravech: OK, Steve, let's get your answer. David Ortiz is so slow, the only thing he can outrun is...

Phillips: An airplane.

Ravech: An... airplane. OK... Well, let's see if the panel has anything resembling a match. Nomar? Ortiz is so slow, the only thing he can outrun is...

Nomar: A ball thrown by Johnny Damon.

Ravech: See, Steve, that's something that is also slow. That's the idea. Only one thing slower than David Ortiz. Lots of things are slower than an airplane. See? Well, maybe you'll have more luck with Jaye P. Ricciardi. JP?

Ricciardi: The only thing slower than David Ortiz is union approval of steroid testing, Karl.

Ravech: Also, not an airplane. Buck?

Showalter: I had a glacier.

Ravech: Didn't have airplane?

Showalter: I'm not a moron, Karl.

Ravech: Good point. On that note, let's see what Kruk had.

Kruk: Vince Coleman.

Ravech: Vince Coleman?!

Kruk: Yeah. He couldn't outrun a tarp.

Ravech: OK, but he was generally a fast runner. Lots of stolen bases, you know?

Kruk: Bottom line is he couldn't outrun a tarp. And tarps are slow.

Ravech: ...moving on, let's see what Aaron Boone has. Aaron, David Ortiz is so slow, the only thing he can outrun is...

Boone: A pastrami sandwich.

Ravech: A pastrami... sandwich. OK, I suppose that's true. Alright, Steve, this is your last chance. It all comes down to you, Buster. Ortiz can outrun only... what?

Olney: Brett Favre's contract negotiations.

(screen goes dark, loud beeping noise is heard)

Voice: ESPN has gone dark, as atonement for disparaging Brett Favre. We apologize for any inconvenience, but please be reassured that Brett Favre has not signed anywhere yet.

If the Primey didn't already exist, #20 would demand its invention.

Kruk: Bottom line is he couldn't outrun a tarp. And tarps are slow.

While I enjoyed the whole thing, how clearly I could hear this being delivered in Kruk's voice was eerie. Well done vi.