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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

SP Times: New pitch is born out of compromise

Now, while not quite as ultra-cool as Leaf Chaps...Doug Waechter comes up with “The Splange”

When Doug Waechter was warming up to pitch in Boston on Thursday, he didn’t have a good feel for the split-finger fastball he had debuted in his previous start.

He fidgeted with his grip until it felt comfortable and ended up somewhere between how he holds the ball for a splitter and how he holds it for a changeup, with his index finger on the side of the ball and his middle finger on a seam.

From that, the “splange” was born.

Repoz Posted: May 30, 2006 at 04:40 PM | 46 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
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1. Liver of blaspheming 'zop Posted: May 30, 2006 at 05:30 PM (#2043912)

If only the new pitch was a cross between a curve and a split.

2. Tschingsch Posted: May 30, 2006 at 06:24 PM (#2043972)

Too bad he didn't call it the Splunge, so when people asked him about the pitch, he could have said:

"It's a great pitch, but possibly not, and I'm not being indecisive!"

3. The Bones McCoy of THT Posted: May 30, 2006 at 06:39 PM (#2044004)

Josh Towers had developed "the splooge" this year. Everytime he threw his fastball the hitter creamed himself before creaming the ball.

Best Regards

John

4. Brandon in MO (Yunitility Infielder) Posted: May 30, 2006 at 06:44 PM (#2044013)

Well, at least he didn't combine his splitter with a screwball.

The steps for throwing a screwball:

1. Grip the ball as you would a four-seamed fastball. The index and middle fingers should be on top of the ball across the seams at the widest point. Hold the fingers about 1/2 inch apart from one another. (Image 1)

2. Place the thumb under the ball across the seam and curl the ring finger and pinkie along one side. The two smallest fingers should make little contact with the ball's surface.

3. Hold the ball with your fingertips away from the palm of your hand. (Image 2)

4. The index finger and thumb should provide all the pressure. The middle finger releases the ball.

5. Go into your wind-up. Remember to pivot and shift your body weight from the back foot forward toward home plate. (Image 3)

6. Turn your wrist inward in a corkscrew motion just before releasing the pitch. This rotation is the opposite of a curveball. For left-handed pitchers, the ball should break down and away from right-handed hitters. (Image 4)

7. Follow through the ball as if it were a fastball. Your feet should parallel each other at the end of the pitch, and your throwing arm should come across the front of your body. (Image 5)

#8 is "Call Dr. Jobe and make an appointment for emergency surgery"

5. Best Regards, L.M. Posted: May 30, 2006 at 06:47 PM (#2044023)

I suppose now they're going to put him into the Hall of Fame.

6. The Bones McCoy of THT Posted: May 30, 2006 at 06:50 PM (#2044033)

I suppose now they're going to put him into the Hall of Fame.

First Cummings, now the splange? Can George Creamer be far behind?

Best Regards

John

7. Fred Garvin is dead and Joe Biden is alive Posted: May 30, 2006 at 07:00 PM (#2044058)

If only the new pitch was a cross between a curve and a split.

A splurve?

8. The Bones McCoy of THT Posted: May 30, 2006 at 07:16 PM (#2044073)

A clit?

Best Regards

John

9. Brandon in MO (Yunitility Infielder) Posted: May 30, 2006 at 07:22 PM (#2044077)

"And he really hit the clit hard there!"

10. sasquatch83 Posted: May 30, 2006 at 07:52 PM (#2044116)

"He took the hanging clit and hit it out of the park"

\I feel dirty now.

11. Fred Garvin is dead and Joe Biden is alive Posted: May 30, 2006 at 08:08 PM (#2044137)

"Boy, he gave that hanging clit a good licking!"

12. DCW3 Posted: May 30, 2006 at 08:26 PM (#2044155)

"We thought we might see someone stranded at third base, but Ortiz got into the box and really stroked that clit, put one right into the seats. Now all his teammates are coming on the field."

This thread is going to get deleted.

13. Crispix Attacks 2: Swag Airlines Posted: May 30, 2006 at 08:31 PM (#2044164)

"Boy Joe, the Royals just do NOT know what to do with Waechter's clit today."

14. Fred Garvin is dead and Joe Biden is alive Posted: May 30, 2006 at 08:35 PM (#2044167)

"That's what you like to see, Len -- the veteran Waechter taking the rookie aside to show him how he fingers his clit."

15. DCW3 Posted: May 30, 2006 at 08:39 PM (#2044173)

"And now Waechter's got Gonzalez set up 0-2. Gonzalez just does not seem to be able to find Waechter's clit here, and now he's got himself in a hole he does not want to be in."

16. mike f Posted: May 30, 2006 at 08:48 PM (#2044177)

"And Ortiz showcased his clutch play, turning on a late inning clit and spurring another come from behind offensive explosion."

17. The Bones McCoy of THT Posted: May 30, 2006 at 08:51 PM (#2044182)

"He really learned to break off the clit during his time in the bushes."

Best Regards

John

18. DCW3 Posted: May 30, 2006 at 08:51 PM (#2044185)

"Wow, Waechter is just getting pounded today--the Sox have taken out more clits than Somalia."

19. The Keith Law Blog Blah Blah (battlekow) Posted: May 30, 2006 at 08:52 PM (#2044186)

"Apparently Waechter is having some circulation problems after struggling with the finger pressure on his clit."

20. My guest will be Jermaine Allensworth Posted: May 30, 2006 at 08:53 PM (#2044188)

"With the way it moves, some people speculate that his clit is wet."

21. The Keith Law Blog Blah Blah (battlekow) Posted: May 30, 2006 at 08:58 PM (#2044201)

"Management has intimated that if Waechter doesn't find his clit soon, he may soon be playing for another team."

22. mike f Posted: May 30, 2006 at 09:10 PM (#2044215)

"And the umpire calls for a clean set of balls after another of Waechter's clits ends up in the dirt."

23. Jim Wisinski

Posted: May 30, 2006 at 09:11 PM (#2044217)

Hilarious thread.

As for the actual article I doubt it's going to make any difference. Waechter's problem isn't the lack of another pitch, it's that he can't hit his spots worth a damn half the time and can't keep the ball down. It's easy to root for him, he's the hometown kid and all, but he just isn't going to ever be an effective starter.

24. Alex meets the threshold for granular review Posted: May 30, 2006 at 09:14 PM (#2044220)

"Wow, Waechter is just getting pounded today--the Sox have taken out more clits than Somalia."

"And Waechter breaks off another clit."

25. mike f Posted: May 30, 2006 at 09:14 PM (#2044221)

"Reports suggest that the Devil Rays will send Waechter back to the bullpen. It appears that he entered the rotation too soon without spending enough time working on his clit."

26. Tom Cervo, backup catcher Posted: May 30, 2006 at 09:24 PM (#2044235)

"Because of his ability to handle the clit so well, Melky is a perfect fit for the 2 hole."

27. CraigK Posted: May 30, 2006 at 10:01 PM (#2044272)

I can't ####### breathe, you bastards!!

28. CraigK Posted: May 30, 2006 at 10:03 PM (#2044273)

"Boy, the Yankees had an explosion of runs after stroking Waechter's clit so far today."

29. The Bones McCoy of THT Posted: May 30, 2006 at 10:12 PM (#2044288)

I started this. My sense of personal pride is enormous.

Best Regards

John

30. The Keith Law Blog Blah Blah (battlekow) Posted: May 30, 2006 at 10:21 PM (#2044300)

My sense of personal pride is enormous.

And turgid.

31. sasquatch83 Posted: May 30, 2006 at 10:24 PM (#2044307)

Actually, I think B Williams doubled to Catcher started it. But you do get props for recognizing the joke.

This is a filthy, filthy thread. And it's great.

"Doug Waechter is known for his clit, which really explodes on batters"

32. The Bones McCoy of THT Posted: May 30, 2006 at 10:33 PM (#2044317)

Well played battlekow...RDF, Primey, MBS--take your pick.

Best Regards

John

33. DCW3 Posted: May 30, 2006 at 10:38 PM (#2044324)

"And Waechter strikes out Mike Piazza on three straight pitches. Piazza just looked terrible in that at-bat--it's like he'd never seen a clit before."

(Sorry.)

34. Repoz

Posted: May 30, 2006 at 10:41 PM (#2044327)

The Hood piercing stare of a former clit king.

35. Liver of blaspheming 'zop Posted: May 31, 2006 at 04:56 AM (#2045225)

I started this. My sense of personal pride is enormous.

Best Regards

John

Um, whatever!

-inventor of the "clit"

36. Tom (and his broom) Posted: May 31, 2006 at 06:10 AM (#2045262)

"Waetcher's clit has been untouchable today, no Yankees have gotten beyond 2b"

37. Tom (and his broom) Posted: May 31, 2006 at 06:13 AM (#2045263)

of course followed by...

"Jeter finally made contact with Waechters clit on the well stroked triple to the alley."

38. DCW3 Posted: May 31, 2006 at 06:41 AM (#2045269)

After striking out on Waechter's signature pitch to end the game, first baseman Kevin Youkilis said that he was expecting a fastball and began his swing too soon.

"I completely forgot about the clit," Youkilis admitted. "By the time I spotted it, it was too late; I was already finished. I didn't see it coming, and after that, there was nothing I could do but hit the showers.

"Afterwards, I looked over at my girlfriend, and I could tell from her face how disappointed she was that I'd missed the clit again. Because she knows that if I'd been on that clit like I should have, it would have gotten creamed.

"After a performance like that, I'm going to be kept away from any clits for quite a while. And for all that time, I'm really going to be feeling like a jerk."

39. base ball chick Posted: May 31, 2006 at 07:16 AM (#2045278)

Williams doubled to catcher Posted: May 31, 2006 at 12:56 AM (#2045225)
I started this. My sense of personal pride is enormous.

Best Regards

John

Um, whatever!

-inventor of the "clit"

well honey,

you might could wanna be startin somethin but john took it deeper.

uh, went more in depth

40. Cooper Nielson Posted: May 31, 2006 at 07:23 AM (#2045279)

John's probably the funniest guy on this board, but B Williams definitely deserves the credit here.

Unless you assume John was the only one who "got" the original joke, and the rest of us needed it spelled out.

41. base ball chick Posted: May 31, 2006 at 07:29 AM (#2045280)

well cooper,

lets just say john was in the right place at the right time....

42. Flynn Posted: May 31, 2006 at 08:51 AM (#2045284)

#8 is "Call Dr. Jobe and make an appointment for emergency surgery"

Oh come on. It doesn't really hurt. Just makes your arm feel kinda tired.

43. The Bones McCoy of THT Posted: May 31, 2006 at 09:19 AM (#2045286)

lets just say john was in the right place at the right time....

I'd rather be lucky than good. Of course my wife tells me that I'd better be good if I want to get lucky.

Best Regards

John

44. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: May 31, 2006 at 09:31 AM (#2045288)

Before I make a Steve Olin/"little man in the boat" joke, can Primeys be forwarded to Hell?

45. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: May 31, 2006 at 09:36 AM (#2045290)

Before I make a Steve Olin/"little man in the boat" joke, can Primeys be forwarded to Hell?

46. Fred Garvin is dead and Joe Biden is alive Posted: May 31, 2006 at 01:39 PM (#2045339)

No, but double posts can.

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SP Times: New pitch is born out of compromise

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