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Sunday, December 02, 2012

STAN FISCHLER: Ways to help Yankees in offseason

Stan Fischler…as confused as Klymkiw hitting the ice.

Since it’s not for me to tell Randy Levine how to run his business, I will tell all you People of the Pinstripes just one—maybe two—f things I would do with my just-invented Maven Dead-Wood Remover.

1. GET A-ROD OUT OF THERE: Trade the bum. Get whatever you can for a guy being paid $29 million and isn’t worth a tenth of it; eveless in the playoffs.

If necessary eat a large chunk of the remaining (ugh!) five years of his contract. Alex Rodriguez has to go; anywhere. There must be some sucker-owner willing to buy the imposter’s vaudeville act.

Otherwise, go to Plan C and get him a screen test with either MGM, 20th Century Fox or Warner Brothers. Hollywood needs a new Steven Seagal. (Hey, Goldie Hawk might even want to agent for him.

If not Goldie, Madonna could use some work.) Matter of fact, I could see A-Rod doing one—just one—segment of “Boardwalk Empire.” Rodriguez could play the Boardwalk.

2. SPEAKING OF YANKEES ADDITION BY SUBTRACTION: it would be refreshing if some team—the Red Sox, maybe—would be kind enough to pick up Ye Olde Nick Swisher as a fat-cat Free Agent.

Pity the Yankees if they dare re-sign Nicky. He’s just another overpaid bloke whose nickname should be “Swish,” as in strike out. Matter of fact the last major leaguer that I remember with that “Swish” monicker was Bill Nicholson of the 1940s Chicago Cubs, a much better player than our contemporary Swish.

Swsher’s last truly good days—no surprise—were enjoyed when he was a mere pauper playing for the Oakland Athletics but that was so long ago even Not-So-Saint-Nicholas can remember his wearin’ of the green-and-yellow.

When the chips were down and the Bombers needed Nick at his best this Fall he was Swisher at his worst. Good luck to Boston if the Red Sox pick him up.

That’s enough baseball for now. Too much diamond talk in skiing season isn’t good for the constitution anyway. Even Randy Levine could tell you that.

Repoz Posted: December 02, 2012 at 08:56 AM | 34 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: yankees

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Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.

   1. I Am Not a Number Posted: December 02, 2012 at 09:14 AM (#4314457)
Well that was a steaming pile of crap.
   2. SoSH U at work Posted: December 02, 2012 at 09:31 AM (#4314460)
As nice a guy as you’ll ever meet, Levine...


Where the hell does this guy spend his time if he's not meeting anyone nicer than Randy Levine?

   3. Benji Posted: December 02, 2012 at 09:43 AM (#4314463)
You're right Stan. That's enough baseball for now. You are not the Maven Of Baseball.
   4. Koot Posted: December 02, 2012 at 10:14 AM (#4314478)
What the hell did I just read?
   5. majorflaw Posted: December 02, 2012 at 10:24 AM (#4314487)
"1. GET A-ROD OUT OF THERE: . . . If necessary eat a large chunk of the remaining (ugh!) five years of his contract."

If necessary?
   6. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: December 02, 2012 at 10:52 AM (#4314496)
Who is this joker?

EDIT: Some Google searching reveals he is "The Hockey Maven."I sure he knows more about hockey than baseball.
   7. Super Creepy Derek Lowe (GGC) Posted: December 02, 2012 at 10:56 AM (#4314498)
Stan Fischler is still alive? When I was a kid 35 years ago, I got a book of his on hockey for Christmas. It was part of a box set including some book about football that mentioned the Georgia Tech 222-0 drubbing of Cumberland and a baseball book (probably the one from 1969 about the best players at each position. Stan's book included a short chapter about a minor league team called the Macon Whoopies. I didn't get the joke at the time.
   8. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: December 02, 2012 at 10:58 AM (#4314500)
Matter of fact, I could see A-Rod doing one—just one—segment of “Boardwalk Empire.”


This author makes Mickey Doyle look competent and likable.
   9. donlock Posted: December 02, 2012 at 11:18 AM (#4314510)
So, the Yankees will be improved by removing two of their starters and best players and receiving nothing in return. Wow, what a genius.Couldn't he at least suggest trading ARod for Mike Trout?
   10. Super Creepy Derek Lowe (GGC) Posted: December 02, 2012 at 11:18 AM (#4314511)
It turns out that the book was probably Stan Fischler's Sports Stumpers.
   11. NattyBoh Posted: December 02, 2012 at 11:31 AM (#4314513)
Back in the seventies he used to write about how Wayne Gretzky was overrated and wouldn't amount to much.
   12. RMc is a fine piece of cheese Posted: December 02, 2012 at 11:52 AM (#4314521)
Stan Fischler is still alive?

He's 80, and apparently has time on his hands, with the NHL self-immolating and all.

Back in the seventies he used to write about how Wayne Gretzky was overrated and wouldn't amount to much.

Fischler used to say Gretzky would've been a fourth-line center in the NHL's Original Six period. 'Nuff said.
   13. NattyBoh Posted: December 02, 2012 at 11:56 AM (#4314523)
I can see Stan and Murray Chass turning on their sprinkler systems on Halloween. "Get off my yard kids! Can't you see we're trying to drink some lemonade on the front porch!"
   14. bobm Posted: December 02, 2012 at 12:12 PM (#4314531)
 (Hey, Goldie Hawk might even want to agent for him.If not Goldie, Madonna could use some work.) 


If the Orioles, Blue Jays or Cardinals called, she'd listen.
   15. puck Posted: December 02, 2012 at 01:40 PM (#4314581)
This part was amusing, though I have no idea if it's remotely accurate about the former Lakers owner:

One of the most difficult owners with which Kennedy had to deal was Jack Kent Cooke of the Los Angeles Lakers. “After one conversation with Cooke,” Kennedy recalled, “it dawned on me that probably nobody had said ‘no’ to this man since his mother told him to stop sucking his thumb.”

Then again author Bud Tucker had an insightful line about Cooke, claiming that Jack’s number one ambition is “to die in his own arms!” Not even Kennedy could top that squelch.
   16. The District Attorney Posted: December 02, 2012 at 01:46 PM (#4314583)
Fischler used to say Gretzky would've been a fourth-line center in the NHL's Original Six period.
Wowie wow wow.
   17. Dale Sams Posted: December 02, 2012 at 02:11 PM (#4314601)
(Hey, Goldie Hawk might even want to agent for him.If not Goldie, Madonna could use some work.)

If the Orioles, Blue Jays or Cardinals called, she'd listen.


Fowl Play is one of my favorite Goldie movies.
   18. tfbg9 Posted: December 02, 2012 at 03:17 PM (#4314623)
#7-that'd be "Strange but True Football Stories". I had the same book.
   19. tfbg9 Posted: December 02, 2012 at 03:25 PM (#4314627)
I remember when the Gretzky Oilers finally broke through and dethroned the Islanders, afterwards Stan ranted about how Wayno was a punk who'd never win another Cup. Haha. And Stan was like 65 at least then, it seems.
   20. E., Hinske Posted: December 02, 2012 at 04:35 PM (#4314667)
The considered opinion amongst hockey fans is that he is completely insane.
   21. NattyBoh Posted: December 02, 2012 at 04:40 PM (#4314675)
The considered opinion amongst hockey fans is that he is completely insane


We have/had some really bad hockey media in the area; Stan, Sherry Ross, the late Big Whistle ("Shoot the puck, Barry! Shoot the puck!"). I don't miss any of those clowns with the lockout.
   22. E., Hinske Posted: December 02, 2012 at 04:52 PM (#4314683)
Hockey media are, on balance, worse than baseball media. It's a much smaller world, meaning more of them are buddies with people within the game and there's less ability to create an existence for yourself that isn't reliant on developing sources and relationships. End result, the media are horrific.
   23. MHS Posted: December 02, 2012 at 05:23 PM (#4314695)
Hockey media are, on balance, worse than baseball media


But the hockey blogosphere is outstanding. Far better than the baseballers.

Only if their was a hockey think factory.
   24. Super Creepy Derek Lowe (GGC) Posted: December 02, 2012 at 05:30 PM (#4314698)
tfbg9, that was the book alright.
   25. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: December 02, 2012 at 06:49 PM (#4314720)
We have/had some really bad hockey media in the area; Stan, Sherry Ross, the late Big Whistle ("Shoot the puck, Barry! Shoot the puck!")

Bill Chadwick always invoked the fact the he had been a ref for decades in the NHL, so he knew a bad call when he saw one. By an amazing coincidence, the bad calls he saw always hurt the Rangers, never the opposition.
   26. E., Hinske Posted: December 02, 2012 at 07:53 PM (#4314743)
But the hockey blogosphere is outstanding. Far better than the baseballers.


Baseball has more of a kind of independent media - stuff that's ahead of a blog but not MSM. Hardball Times, stuff like that. I think that cuts out a lot of the guys who'd otherwise write blogs.
   27. Rough Carrigan Posted: December 02, 2012 at 11:14 PM (#4314849)
#12. In partial defense of a position that's obviously hyperbole, I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in a great player in any sport than the one game in the mid 80's that I saw Gretzky and the Oilers play in St. Louis. When St. Louis had the puck in the Edmonton end, Gretzky played zero defense. I don't mean that he checked unenthusiastically or didn't try to block shots. I mean, he played zero defense. None. He wasn't even on that side of the blue line. While the Blues were occasionally peppering Grant Fuhr with shots Gretzky was stationed at the logo in center ice waiting for one of his Oiler teammates to do some actual work and maybe get the puck to him. I was among a fair portion of the audience who hadn't seen him before and were stunned at his complete disconnection from a large part of the game. I suspect that Gretzky's being a conscientious objector to even going through the motions of playing defense may have been what set Fischler off.
   28. RMc is a fine piece of cheese Posted: December 03, 2012 at 09:21 AM (#4315018)
When St. Louis had the puck in the Edmonton end, Gretzky played zero defense.

You don't use a Rolls Royce to plow a field, son.
   29. Tippecanoe Posted: December 03, 2012 at 10:31 AM (#4315073)
@27

I suspect that you were not at the December '84 Blues-Oilers game that I attended where Gretzky scored 5 goals.
   30. Ron J2 Posted: December 03, 2012 at 11:45 AM (#4315143)
Where the hell does this guy spend his time if he's not meeting anyone nicer than Randy Levine?


There are some pretty ... well nice isn't the word you'd use for Brian Burke or Bob Clarke. And they're not unusual personality types in the hockey world.
   31. Ron J2 Posted: December 03, 2012 at 11:58 AM (#4315161)
#27m Ever seen Gretzy's plus/minus in his prime? They're not quite off the charts (that would be Bobby Orr when he was healthy -- +124 in 1970-71) but they're a testament to the fact that what he was doing worked. (between +70 and +98 5 of 6 years. Dipping to +60 in the 6th) Far, far better than anybody else on the Oilers.

I should note that what he was doing (basically playing for a breakout) was in no way unusual. I can remember watching Michel Goulet skating tight circles outside his own blue line (IE not coming back to help defensively) while killing a penalty. He was just better at it than anybody else.
   32. Random Transaction Generator Posted: December 03, 2012 at 12:47 PM (#4315221)
Stan Fischler is still alive?


When I saw the name, I assumed it was a son of his, as I couldn't believe that he was still alive.
He's 80 years old!

I have an old book of his that ranks the top 100 NHL players of all time. It was written in 1984.
The craziest thing was that Fischler ranked Potvin ahead of Orr.
As a 13-year old reading it, I hadn't seen much of Orr, and stats weren't easily available at that time, and Potvin had just won 4 Stanley Cups in a row, so I actually believed this for about 5 years. Thankfully, I kept that sort of opinion to myself until I got my hands on some stat books and looked up Orr and watched some videos.

   33. Random Transaction Generator Posted: December 03, 2012 at 12:48 PM (#4315222)
I suspect that Gretzky's being a conscientious objector to even going through the motions of playing defense may have been what set Fischler off.


At the end of Gretzky's career, I think it was the Rangers coach said that he could have been an excellent defensive centerman for another 5 years if he wanted to, but that wouldn't have been "GRETZKY!" and no one wanted to see that.
   34. Benji Posted: December 03, 2012 at 02:10 PM (#4315349)
Fischler would always trumpet the coaching skills of some buddy of his and castigate every team that didn't win the Cup (and even some that did) for not hiring the guy. Aldo Guidolin was one of them. When someone would give one of his boys the job, he would inevitably flop badly and Stan would flail away at everybody involved who "let him down". He also commented that the Rangers had made a huge mistake trading for Esposito and Vadnais, and that the guy they threw in, Joe Zanuzzi, was better than both of them.

What a horrible time the early 80's was for a Ranger fan. You had him, owned by the Islanders, constantly shredding them, along with Larry Brooks of the Post, even a worse Islander shill, blasting every move they made (even the ones he advocated the week before) and the Gordon-Chadwick telecasts, a nightly salute to the totally overrated Barry Beck. If he dressed he was in the 3 stars post game selection, and his pathetic offensive game was called Orr-like. No wonder I ended up hating the Rangers.

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