Stan Fischler…as confused as Klymkiw hitting the ice.
Since it’s not for me to tell Randy Levine how to run his business, I will tell all you People of the Pinstripes just one—maybe two—f things I would do with my just-invented Maven Dead-Wood Remover.
1. GET A-ROD OUT OF THERE: Trade the bum. Get whatever you can for a guy being paid $29 million and isn’t worth a tenth of it; eveless in the playoffs.
If necessary eat a large chunk of the remaining (ugh!) five years of his contract. Alex Rodriguez has to go; anywhere. There must be some sucker-owner willing to buy the imposter’s vaudeville act.
Otherwise, go to Plan C and get him a screen test with either MGM, 20th Century Fox or Warner Brothers. Hollywood needs a new Steven Seagal. (Hey, Goldie Hawk might even want to agent for him.
If not Goldie, Madonna could use some work.) Matter of fact, I could see A-Rod doing one—just one—segment of “Boardwalk Empire.” Rodriguez could play the Boardwalk.
2. SPEAKING OF YANKEES ADDITION BY SUBTRACTION: it would be refreshing if some team—the Red Sox, maybe—would be kind enough to pick up Ye Olde Nick Swisher as a fat-cat Free Agent.
Pity the Yankees if they dare re-sign Nicky. He’s just another overpaid bloke whose nickname should be “Swish,” as in strike out. Matter of fact the last major leaguer that I remember with that “Swish” monicker was Bill Nicholson of the 1940s Chicago Cubs, a much better player than our contemporary Swish.
Swsher’s last truly good days—no surprise—were enjoyed when he was a mere pauper playing for the Oakland Athletics but that was so long ago even Not-So-Saint-Nicholas can remember his wearin’ of the green-and-yellow.
When the chips were down and the Bombers needed Nick at his best this Fall he was Swisher at his worst. Good luck to Boston if the Red Sox pick him up.
That’s enough baseball for now. Too much diamond talk in skiing season isn’t good for the constitution anyway. Even Randy Levine could tell you that.
Posted: December 02, 2012 at 07:56 AM | 34 comment(s)
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