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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Statesman: Bush to pitch to substance abuser?

President Bush has been an outspoken critic of steroid and substance abuse by baseball players. His name came up once in the Mitchell Report that documented the widespread abuse of performance enhancing substances by baseball players.

...The Nationals’ starting catcher - and hence a natural choice to catch the cermonial first pitch - is expected to be Paul Lo Duca.

Lo Duca’s name comes up 37 times in the Mitchell Report, which said a former Mets clubhouse assistant who has acknowledged providing substance-enhancing drugs to players “estimated that he engaged in six or more transactions with Lo Duca.”

So here’s the potential opening-night visual: The president who is concerned about substance abuse in baseball winds up and throws the ceremonial pitch to a catcher linked to substance abuse. It’s all smiles and happiness as president and catcher pose for the post-pitch photo.

Would you call for somebody else to handle the ceremonial catching chore?

Only if the curled-up Thomas de Quincey owns a mitt.

Repoz Posted: March 25, 2008 at 06:37 PM | 38 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: nationals, steroids

Reader Comments and Retorts

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   1. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:00 PM (#2719964)
Why not? He takes money from them!
   2. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:02 PM (#2719967)
Isn't Bush a former substance abuser himself?
   3. Charter Member of the Jesus Melendez Fanclub Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:04 PM (#2719971)
As a "compassionate conservative" and a "Christian," I'm sure W's heart is full of forgiveness. He may even offer to baptize Lo Doucha after the first pitch.
   4. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:05 PM (#2719973)
Well I was a huge Bush supporter before this. Now I just don't know what to think.
   5. Charles S. will not yield to this monkey court Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:05 PM (#2719974)
Repoz, can we please not have "Statesman" and "Bush" appear in the same sentence? I'm getting error message all over the place.
   6. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:08 PM (#2719982)
How will this affect his Hall of Fame chances?
   7. The Good Face Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:26 PM (#2720012)
How will this affect his Hall of Fame chances?


Bush or Lo Doca?
   8. Barry`s_Lazy_Boy Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:28 PM (#2720016)
Bush loves baseball because the foul lines fondly remind him of his past.
   9. Dan Lee is some pumkins Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:37 PM (#2720032)
Substance abuser to pitch to Lo Duca?
   10. JJ1986 Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:43 PM (#2720041)
I thought this was about Jason Kendall getting busted for steroids. Or maybe Eric Munson.
   11. Hang down your head, Tom Foley Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:51 PM (#2720052)
No, you walk the substance abuser and pitch to the baby killer.
   12. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:55 PM (#2720057)
No, you walk the substance abuser and pitch to the baby killer.

That makes it tough to know what to do with Lo Duca, since he has no doubt paid for some abortions among his Long Island harem.
   13. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:58 PM (#2720061)
That makes it tough to know what to do with Lo Duca, since he has no doubt paid for some abortions among his Long Island harem.

Why would he do that? Babies would only expand the harem.

Yes, I alrady know I'm going to hell and such. I just want to see how low this thread can get. I'm bad that way.
   14. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:01 PM (#2720067)
I just want to see how low this thread can get.

PAUL LO DUCA ATE MY BALLS

PAUL LO DUCA'S MOTHER SUCKS #### IN HELL
   15. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:02 PM (#2720069)
PAUL LO DUCA ATE MY BALLS

PAUL LO DUCA'S MOTHER SUCKS #### IN HELL


That's the spirit! Throw in a little anal imagery there, too!
   16. Hang down your head, Tom Foley Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:05 PM (#2720076)
PAUL LO DUCA ATE MY BALLS

PAUL LO DUCA'S MOTHER SUCKS #### IN HELL


The LoDucacrats!
   17. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:09 PM (#2720082)
UP THE LONG LADDER AND DOWN THE SHORT ROPE
TO HELL WITH LO DUCA AND LONG LIVE THE POPE
   18. Repoz Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:10 PM (#2720083)
I just want to see how low this thread can get.

Deivi Cruz has been cloned!
   19. The District Attorney Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:11 PM (#2720087)
Lo Duca's mother does suck something in hell, but I can't tell you what.
   20. bunyon Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:11 PM (#2720088)
Laura did drugs?
   21. aleskel Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:14 PM (#2720089)
I once saw Lo Duca walk out of an Aryan Nation meeting hall
   22. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:17 PM (#2720095)
Laura did drugs?

Winner! bunyon, you are a dirty, dirty dude.
   23. bunyon Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:19 PM (#2720097)
Thanks. I thought it, decided not to post it, then saw you ask how low we could go. So, take some credit for yourself, you bring out the cretin in me.
   24. The District Attorney Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:20 PM (#2720098)
I saw Lo Duca drinking a piña colada at Trader Vic's.

His hair was perfect.
   25. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:21 PM (#2720100)
Thanks. I thought it, decided not to post it, then saw you ask how low we could go. So, take some credit for yourself, you bring out the cretin in me.

I've got to do something to earn my keep. I'm certainly not dishing out any useful baseball analysis. Plus, I need something to distract me from the temptaion to open that Obama thread. That would just be trouble.
   26. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:23 PM (#2720101)
_
The Rogue's Wallet.

_
It's where he kept his card...his dirty little secret. Short, devious, balding...his name was Lo Duca. He killed my mother.
   27. The Bones McCoy of THT Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:49 PM (#2720139)
I just want to see how low this thread can get.


Neifi Perez's 2007 OPS+.

Best Regards

John
   28. Repoz Posted: March 25, 2008 at 09:00 PM (#2720146)
I just want to see how low this thread can get.

Rob Base is back.
   29. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: March 25, 2008 at 09:41 PM (#2720177)
"PAUL LO DUCA'S MOTHER SUCKS #### IN HELL"

.lluH ni sklehw slles rehtom s'acuD oL luaP
   30. Hang down your head, Tom Foley Posted: March 25, 2008 at 09:49 PM (#2720182)
This may go beyond the limits of good taste, but:

Bush likes Lo Duca.

Lo Duca voted for Bush.
   31. scareduck Posted: March 25, 2008 at 10:09 PM (#2720193)
I just want to see how low this thread can get.

Lo Duca voted for Bush. Twice.
   32. Gambling Rent Czar Posted: March 25, 2008 at 10:35 PM (#2720216)
Actually I would love to see Selig throw out the first pitch to LoDuca. As a matter of fact i want that photo on my wall
   33. Gambling Rent Czar Posted: March 25, 2008 at 10:36 PM (#2720217)
Lo Duca voted for Bush. Twice.


so did I, and his father! twice!
   34. Tuque Posted: March 25, 2008 at 11:23 PM (#2720257)
George W. Bush ate my balls, has a mother sucking #### in hell, etc.
   35. rr Posted: March 25, 2008 at 11:30 PM (#2720266)
I am considering running for a position here at the college, so just in case, I am going to denounce, reject, and repudiate this thread.

However, I can no more disown BTF than I can disown all my bookmarked porn links.

And, I am posting this under sniper fire, and will post this repudiation for the next 100 years if necessary.
   36. RMc is a fine piece of cheese Posted: March 26, 2008 at 12:20 AM (#2720298)
How will this affect his Hall of Fame chances?

Bush or Lo Doca?


He's already in:

President George W. Bush -- 2001
Defense was the specialty of George W. Bush when he played in the Central Little League of Midland, Texas, during the 1950s and he has cited Little League as providing his fondest childhood memory.


Oh, yeah? What was Bush's Zone Rating? Did he play behind a lot of groundball pitchers? Anybody have MLE's for the Midland Central Little League...?
   37. OsunaSakata Posted: March 26, 2008 at 01:46 PM (#2720666)
Laura did drugs?


Nah. Just killed her boyfriend.
   38. jayjay Posted: March 26, 2008 at 10:12 PM (#2721195)
I didn't notice this until now: why is the Nationals-Braves just a one-game series? The Nats open their new park on Sunday night, then play in Philadelphia the following day. What an odd set-up. Anybody know why?

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