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Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Teddy Wins First Presidents Race

TEDDY WON THE RACE! TEDDY WON THE RACE! TEDDY WON THE RACE!

Wearing a red headband and bright gold shoes modeled after those made famous by world’s fastest man Usain Bolt, Teddy got off to a slow start, trailing Abe, then Jefferson, then Washington.
But a green blob intended to resemble the Phillie Phanatic felled the three leaders in the right field corner, and Roosevelt strolled home by himself as the crowd roared and began chanting his name (really).
He then ripped off his usual jersey, revealing a red “Natitude” t-shirt, and soaked in the cheers.

The Yankee Clapper Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:01 PM | 44 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
Tags: washington nationals

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1. jack the seal clubber (on the sidelines of life) Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:33 PM (#4252634)

About time.....

2. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:34 PM (#4252637)

Bully!

3. Esoteric throws a 'hard slider' Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:40 PM (#4252641)

Awesome! The last day of the season!

And the Nats immediately rallied after Teddy won, scoring two runs against Cliff Lee to take the lead. Good karma!

4. The Clarence Thomas of BBTF (scott) Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:41 PM (#4252645)

Well, there's no point paying attention to the President's race anymore.

5. Toby Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:42 PM (#4252646)

If it were up to me, Teddy would win every race in the playoffs, but he wouldn't have won today.

6. jack the seal clubber (on the sidelines of life) Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:42 PM (#4252647)

They'll probably disqualify him for a positive test result.

7. The Yankee Clapper Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:43 PM (#4252648)

Would have been better for Teddy to have won Rough Rider style, reenacting the charge up San Juan Hill!

8. DL from MN Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:45 PM (#4252649)

I think he has to win from here on out now.

9. Rennie's Tenet Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:54 PM (#4252658)

The Phaux Phanatic was most unconvincing, which would indicate some kind of inside help. I smell an investigation, and subsequent disqualification.

10. depletion Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:56 PM (#4252659)

Maria Christina Désirée Henriette Felicitas Rainiera complains that Washington, Lincoln "mailed it in".

11. Bitter Mouse is a genre addict Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:56 PM (#4252660)

They'll probably disqualify him for a positive test result.

Winner.

12. Ron J2 Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:56 PM (#4252661)

Fix!

13. UCCF Posted: October 03, 2012 at 03:57 PM (#4252662)

Given how much he's played it up, it would have been great to see him pull his head off to reveal John McCain inside.

(note - that's not a political statement, nor an invitation to 15000 posts about how Jimmy Carter was history's greatest monster)

14. The_Ex Posted: October 03, 2012 at 04:16 PM (#4252690)

Tension is very important to many entertainment shows or events. On TV Moonlighting, the Office and Cheers suffered after the tension was lifted. You know what this means? No more playoffs for the Nats.

15. JE (Jason Epstein)

Posted: October 03, 2012 at 04:21 PM (#4252697)

Everyone was going wild as Teddy took the lead, but many of us kept looking at the stands to see if another mascot -- the Gecko, for example -- was going to blindside him just before the finish line.

By the way, is it true that Rizzo is shutting him down for the postseason?

16. jack the seal clubber (on the sidelines of life) Posted: October 03, 2012 at 04:27 PM (#4252704)

By the way, is it true that Rizzo is shutting him down for the postseason?

They put an 81 game cap on him.

17. Perry Posted: October 03, 2012 at 04:31 PM (#4252713)

Given how much he's played it up, it would have been great to see him pull his head off to reveal John McCain inside.

Or Adam Greenberg.

18. BourbonSamurai, vassal of the Harpsburg Empire Posted: October 03, 2012 at 04:39 PM (#4252740)

I think he has to win from here on out now.

Yeah, I hope so.

19. Athletic Supporter gangnam style Posted: October 03, 2012 at 04:42 PM (#4252746)

What odds would you give on Teddy winning the next race?

20. Mike A Posted: October 03, 2012 at 04:53 PM (#4252756)

Sam and Diane hooked up at the end of the first season of Cheers. Show was still pretty good after that.

So there is hope, though perhaps Teddy needs to go on another losing streak to build up the tension again (Sam and Diane broke up/got together a lot).

Alternatively, they could have Teddy go on an amazing win streak so the tension switches to 'when will another President win?'

Tough call.

21. Walt Davis Posted: October 03, 2012 at 05:00 PM (#4252765)

C'mon, surely they could have gotten the real Phanatic in on this.

22. Esoteric throws a 'hard slider' Posted: October 03, 2012 at 05:20 PM (#4252813)

Does the Phanatic ever travel to away games?

23. Crispix Attacks 2: Swag Airlines Posted: October 03, 2012 at 06:42 PM (#4253007)

So there is hope, though perhaps Teddy needs to go on another losing streak to build up the tension again (Sam and Diane broke up/got together a lot).

He should have a big retirement ceremony, followed by a montage of him starring in TV true-crime movies and two infantile comedies with Craig T. Nelson and Corbin Bernsen.

24. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: October 03, 2012 at 07:24 PM (#4253093)

It really pisses me off that they never let Teddy win until now. He was the most athletic president of all!

25. Monty Posted: October 03, 2012 at 07:36 PM (#4253107)

I think I'd just retire the race and bring something else in. Go out on a high note.

26. asinwreck Posted: October 03, 2012 at 07:58 PM (#4253147)

They'll replace him with Taft now.

27. Best Regards, L.M. Posted: October 03, 2012 at 08:14 PM (#4253161)

It really pisses me off that they never let Teddy win until now. He was the most athletic president of all!

IIRC, in RFK each presidents represented a section in the ballpark, and Teddy represented the suites, which is why he never won.

28. McCoy Wilfong for Money Posted: October 03, 2012 at 08:22 PM (#4253173)

Fun game and probably the best last game I've been to. Of course this is also the first last game I've gone to where the home team gets to play more games after the last game. Players came out to toss out tshirts for 20 minutes after the game.

29. smileyy Posted: October 03, 2012 at 08:38 PM (#4253187)

ANOTHER GREAT BASEBALL TRADITION THROWN AWAY LIKE IT WAS NOTHING

Ok, seriously, along the lines of [24] Is Teddy Roosevelt the President most likely to be able to kill another President with his bare hands, or with a melee weapon of some kind?

Deadliest Warrior made him out to be pretty badass...but...uh...that's also Deadliest Warrior.

30. OsunaSakata Posted: October 03, 2012 at 09:14 PM (#4253215)

If anyone hasn't already seen this: Badass Depictions of U.S. Presidents.

31. cercopithecus aethiops Posted: October 03, 2012 at 11:50 PM (#4253418)

Washington was pretty athletic in his youth. And he was pretty bad-ass, too.

Unlike Teddy, he was not President in his youth.

32. Karl from NY Posted: October 04, 2012 at 02:35 AM (#4253493)

Does the Phanatic ever travel to away games?

Mr. Met does. I have pictures of him at Fenway in 2006 (the Pedro return game).

33. ThisElevatorIsDrivingMeUpTheWall Posted: October 04, 2012 at 08:06 AM (#4253539)

I had no idea that green thing was supposed to be a phaux phanatic, I thought a new Geico character name Czolgosz was being introduced.

34. Dag Nabbit has the talking pillow Posted: October 04, 2012 at 08:50 AM (#4253560)

Ok, seriously, along the lines of [24] Is Teddy Roosevelt the President most likely to be able to kill another President with his bare hands, or with a melee weapon of some kind?

I think Andrew Jackson has this one won.

35. GregD Posted: October 04, 2012 at 09:07 AM (#4253568)

I had no idea that green thing was supposed to be a phaux phanatic, I thought a new Geico character name Czolgosz was being introduced.

That is awesome, but if you had said it was a new Geico character named Schrank it would have been worth naming the Primeys after you.

36. cercopithecus aethiops Posted: October 04, 2012 at 10:48 AM (#4253689)

I had no idea that green thing was supposed to be a phaux phanatic, I thought a new Geico character name Czolgosz was being introduced.

For the Nats' first playoff game, the racing Presidents will be replaced by four new mascots -- Booth, Guiteau, Czolgosz and Oswald. Booth will be competing with a broken leg, but will win anyway since he'll be riding a horse.

37. OsunaSakata Posted: October 04, 2012 at 11:26 AM (#4253766)

For the Nats' first playoff game, the racing Presidents will be replaced by four new mascots -- Booth, Guiteau, Czolgosz and Oswald. Booth will be competing with a broken leg, but will win anyway since he'll be riding a horse.

Paging Stephen Sondheim.

38. Best Regards, L.M. Posted: October 04, 2012 at 01:06 PM (#4253935)

They should have had "That Cat" come out at the end, and have Teddy deck him.

39. Crispix Attacks 2: Swag Airlines Posted: October 04, 2012 at 01:17 PM (#4253955)

A phaux Phanatic? Was it The Grump?

40. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: October 04, 2012 at 01:23 PM (#4253971)

IIRC, in RFK each presidents represented a section in the ballpark, and Teddy represented the suites, which is why he never won.

If that's true, it's even more outrageous. The Bull Moose was for the common man!

I think Andrew Jackson has this one won.

Yeah, I probably have to go Jackson there, too. Teddy's tougher, but Jackson's meaner and more willing to fight dirty, and he has the reach advantage. Particularly if you give him that hickory walking stick...

41. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: October 04, 2012 at 01:46 PM (#4254024)

Was it The Grump?

Isn't he in jail for soliciting a minor? Or did they recast him?

42. GregD Posted: October 04, 2012 at 01:53 PM (#4254056)

Now the rumor is Teddy is going to be retired for JFK. I'm rooting for FDR in a wheelchair. That would be tasteless but awesome, esp if he could spin the wheelchair around and trip his competitors.

43. UCCF Posted: October 07, 2012 at 12:10 AM (#4257507)

Now the rumor is Teddy is going to be retired for JFK. I'm rooting for FDR in a wheelchair. That would be tasteless but awesome, esp if he could spin the wheelchair around and trip his competitors.

I'd like to see a little James Madison, like 3 feet shorter than the rest of them.

44. GregD Posted: October 07, 2012 at 12:14 AM (#4257514)

Taft would also be awesome, waddling around out there with--as an homage to Teddy--an eclair

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Teddy Wins First Presidents Race

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