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Monday, December 30, 2013

The A-Rod E-mails

July 30, 2012
Rodriguez is out with an injury, having fractured his hand five days earlier when hit by a pitch. Levine makes a reference to performance-enhancing drugs that he later refers to as a “bad joke.”

Levine: How r u feeing since u left Robby [Cano] under 200, he needs some steroids fast!

One of these men is a horse’s a$$….

nick swisher hygiene Posted: December 30, 2013 at 03:48 PM | 26 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: centauromachy

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   1. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: December 30, 2013 at 04:26 PM (#4626665)
He's a horse! HAW HAW! I heard some girl wants to sue him for PALAMINO! HAW HAW!
   2. Joyful Calculus Instructor Posted: December 30, 2013 at 04:27 PM (#4626668)
I don't even understand what Levine's text means. Does he mean that Robby was batting under .200 since A-Rod left?
   3. Zonk, Bearer of Responsibility Posted: December 30, 2013 at 04:27 PM (#4626669)
Are these real?

And did Levine include naked pictures of himself or maybe a horse with those e-mails?
   4. The Piehole of David Wells Posted: December 30, 2013 at 04:29 PM (#4626674)
No interesting material in there. Kind of what you'd expect from two formerly friendly parties embroiled in a legal battle.
   5. Publius Publicola Posted: December 30, 2013 at 04:32 PM (#4626679)
Does he mean that Robby was batting under .200 since A-Rod left?


That's the way I read it, yeah.

Goes to show you the breezy attitude the Yankees front office takes towards cheating.
   6. Hang down your head, Tom Foley Posted: December 30, 2013 at 04:41 PM (#4626692)
Cano hit .174 in the five games after A-Rod got hurt, and .400 in the ten games after Levine requested steroids for him. Then they ran out and he hit .094 in the next 10 games. The children of everybody involved should be taken away, but in small sample sizes.
   7. SG Posted: December 30, 2013 at 04:56 PM (#4626711)
Apparently Randy Levine is a 13 year old girl...
   8. davekemp Posted: December 30, 2013 at 05:55 PM (#4626758)

Cano hit .174 in the five games after A-Rod got hurt, and .400 in the ten games after Levine requested steroids for him. Then they ran out and he hit .094 in the next 10 games. The children of everybody involved should be taken away, but in small sample sizes.


Primey for #6
   9. GGIAS (aka Poster Nutbag) Posted: December 30, 2013 at 06:00 PM (#4626761)
6 - I laughed so hard I dropped my phone.
   10. tshipman Posted: December 30, 2013 at 06:40 PM (#4626787)
A-Rod comes off ... oh, about a thousand times smarter than Levine.

Randy Levine is a senior executive of a multi-billion dollar company. Those emails are embarrassing. I think it's pretty ####### weak that he gets to claim that talking about steroids was all a joke. Maybe MLB should do an in-depth investigation of the Yankees' email and see how common those "jokes" were.

Oh wait, that will never ever happen.
   11. KronicFatigue Posted: December 31, 2013 at 11:13 AM (#4627103)
I had always presumed soccer players made more, so I looked it up to confirm that Arod was "biggest in professional sports". Turns out baseball dominates. Also, if I'm reading this correctly, The 2009 Yankees had 4.5* of the top 11 contracts OF ALL TIME on their 2009 team. *(Arod opts out of #2 to get the #1 in 2008)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_largest_sports_contracts
   12. Jose is an Absurd Doubles Machine Posted: December 31, 2013 at 11:25 AM (#4627110)
Randy Levine is a senior executive of a multi-billion dollar company. Those emails are embarrassing. I think it's pretty ####### weak that he gets to claim that talking about steroids was all a joke. Maybe MLB should do an in-depth investigation of the Yankees' email and see how common those "jokes" were.


This is why I tell everyone who works for me to never put anything in an email they wouldn't want posted the whole world to see.
   13. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: December 31, 2013 at 11:38 AM (#4627121)
Maybe MLB should do an in-depth investigation of the Yankees' email and see how common those "jokes" were.


I believe thoughtcrime is a widely unexploited method by which Bud could screw the Yankees. He'll probably get right on it.
   14. GGIAS (aka Poster Nutbag) Posted: December 31, 2013 at 01:17 PM (#4627219)
Just saying thoughtcrime makes me think of Mindcrime....with Nikki being played by ARod....telling us all The Needle Lies...

I need I find my coffee, please excuse me.
   15. The District Attorney Posted: December 31, 2013 at 01:36 PM (#4627241)
It seems very A-Rod to:

A) Actually converse with his colleagues in postgame interview "I just have to play hard and help the team win!" talk
B) Prefer to hash out emotional issues in weirdly stilted e-mails, rather than in person (and for others to prefer to do so with him)

I'm guessing that neither of these is all that common. Particularly part A.
   16. Yeaarrgghhhh Posted: December 31, 2013 at 01:44 PM (#4627248)
Are these real emails? It reads like a shouts and murmurs piece from the new yorker.
   17. Hang down your head, Tom Foley Posted: December 31, 2013 at 01:50 PM (#4627252)
Are these real emails? It reads like a shouts and murmurs piece from the new yorker.
I was assuming it was fake at first, but it seemed really pointless if it wasn't real. Well, more pointless.
   18. Best Regards, President of Comfort, Esq., LLC Posted: December 31, 2013 at 03:46 PM (#4627324)
Randy Levine is a senior executive of a multi-billion dollar company. Those emails are embarrassing. I think it's pretty ####### weak that he gets to claim that talking about steroids was all a joke. Maybe MLB should do an in-depth investigation of the Yankees' email and see how common those "jokes" were.


Yes, they should. That was disturbing.
   19. Jefferson Manship (Dan Lee) Posted: December 31, 2013 at 03:49 PM (#4627326)
I can't wait for the allegation that Levine has a painting of himself feeding steroids to centaurs.
   20. Zach Posted: December 31, 2013 at 06:23 PM (#4627424)
Forget the language, how does Levine justify sending idiot motivational messages to a player who already answers to a multimillion dollar manager? Has he never heard of chain of command?
   21. Srul Itza Posted: December 31, 2013 at 06:59 PM (#4627437)
You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til ya understand who's in ruttin' command here.
   22. valuearbitrageur Posted: January 01, 2014 at 05:07 AM (#4627542)
And now the Boras-ARod emails have been released too.

A-Rod: Who is that ######### midget named Randy Levine?

Boras: The president of the Yankees.

A-Rod: Seriously.

Boras: No really!

A-Rod: Not talking about the Yankees president, talking about the creepy guy who keeps sending me disturbing emails.

Boras: Same guy.

A-Rod: Uh oh. How can I get his emails to stop? I'm starting to feel like the priests favorite 8 year boy at a catholic summer camp.

Boras: He's the team president, just pretend he's one of the guys, and answer anything he asks you as if it's entirely reasonable. And stay out of the shower whenever he visits the locker room. If he surprises you before you can get to a towel, just say "Randy, my eyes are up here".
   23. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: January 01, 2014 at 05:29 AM (#4627543)
Are these real emails? It reads like a shouts and murmurs piece from the new yorker.

On the strength of the comedy in those tweets, Randy Levine seems just as funny as Andy Borowitz.
   24. Fancy Crazy Town Banana Pants Handle Posted: January 01, 2014 at 05:29 AM (#4627544)
You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til ya understand who's in ruttin' command here.

Jayne! The man they call Jayne!
   25. Fancy Crazy Town Banana Pants Handle Posted: January 01, 2014 at 05:31 AM (#4627545)
I had always presumed soccer players made more, so I looked it up to confirm that Arod was "biggest in professional sports". Turns out baseball dominates. Also, if I'm reading this correctly, The 2009 Yankees had 4.5* of the top 11 contracts OF ALL TIME on their 2009 team. *(Arod opts out of #2 to get the #1 in 2008)

Baseball contracts are massively skewed due to the slave years at the beginning of a player's career, leaving more money for the FA's. The biggest European teams have payrolls that dwarf even those of the Yankees and Dodgers (with similar roster size), but the cash is more evenly divided between young and vets. Cut the money players earn in their first 7 years to the bone, and you would see some truly ridiculous contracts over there.
   26. Fancy Crazy Town Banana Pants Handle Posted: January 01, 2014 at 08:16 AM (#4627552)
Also, two more things to consider about European football contracts. Nobody is getting 10 year contracts, so naturally the total value of any given contract is going to be a lot less. And transfer fees (of which I understand the player and agent usually get a large chunk) make up a substantial portion a lot of the time.

For example, Real madrid reportedly paid Spurs £85m (per google $140.5m) for the right to pay Gareth Bale £15.6m ($25.8m) a year for the next 6. So they will effectively be paying about $49m per year of service of Gareth Bale they bought.
No they might recoup some of that, if they sell him off before the deal runs out (no wat in hell they get back even close to £85m though), or you could argue if they extend him at some point the transfer fee should be split over more years. But either way, that is a shitton of money. Now Bale is really freaking good, but he is not really in the discussion for top 5 in the World.

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