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Thursday, October 19, 2006

Esquire: Martone: The Death of Derek Jeter

Fiction, sure. Just like Moneyball.

Ipish Posted: October 19, 2006 at 01:56 PM | 318 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: yankees

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Page 4 of 4 pages ‹ First  < 2 3 4
   301. DJS, the Digital Dandy Posted: November 19, 2013 at 01:40 PM (#4602426)
I'm glad Jim set this thread to not expire!
   302. zonk Posted: November 19, 2013 at 02:01 PM (#4602442)
Presumably, that's because you also just saw the Reddit thread describing how Jeter apparently roots himself on during the act of coitus-

He likes to cheer himself on with a "Yeah JEETS, YEAH JEETS!"

Was desperately looking for the most recently active Jeter thread moments ago when a friend passed that along to me...
   303. Gch exhales the vast drunken folly of Epicurus Posted: November 19, 2013 at 02:03 PM (#4602445)
At least he doesn't have a recording of Bob Sheppard cheering him on.
   304. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: November 19, 2013 at 02:11 PM (#4602452)
"Derek Jeter... is now entering... where you make number two. Number two."
   305. Slivers of Maranville descends into chaos (SdeB) Posted: May 10, 2014 at 02:03 PM (#4704072)
RODRIGUEZ:

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of New York;
And all the clouds that lour’d upon our team
In the deep bosom of the Hudson buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths,
Our bruised bats hung up for monuments;
Our stern catcalls changed to merry greetings
Our dreadful interviews to delightful schmoozing.
Grim-visaged Stein hath smooth’d his wrinkled front;
And now, instead of shouting rambling oaths
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
He capers nimbly in Bud Selig’s chamber
to the lascivious pleasing of a lute.
But I, that am not shaped for pumps of fists
Nor made to dive into the home field stands
I, that am rudely stamp’d, and want Jete’s majesty
To strut before a wanton ambling nymph;
Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,
Blue-lipped, aloof, sent before my time
Into this third-base corner, scarce half so ring’d,
And that so chilly and unpopular
That dogs bark at me as I halt by them;
Why I, in this weak piping time of suspension
Have no delight to pass away the time
Unless to spy my painting on the wall
And descant on my own centaurity:
And therefore, since I cannot prove a clutch god
And entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determinéd to prove a villain,
And hate the idle pressmen of these days.
Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous
By drunken phone calls, rumors and dreams,
To set my teammate Jeter and the GM
In deadly hate the one against the other.
And if King Cashman be as true and just
as I am subtle, false, and treacherous
This day should Jeter sorrowfully be benched
Due to a rumor which says that D.
Of Cashman’s trades the murderer shall be.
Dive, thoughts, down to my soul: here
Jeter comes.
   306. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: May 10, 2014 at 02:27 PM (#4704084)
this is just to say

i have taken
the millions
that were in
the budget

and which
you were probably
saving
for mike trout

forgive me
i'm still bootylicious
but my bat
is so cold
   307. Avoid running at all times.-S. Paige Posted: September 20, 2014 at 05:49 PM (#4795713)
Bump
   308. Howie Menckel Posted: September 20, 2014 at 06:12 PM (#4795718)

a partial aid is this

222. Backlasher Posted: October 21, 2006 at 06:21 AM (#2220090)
Updating Annotations through 200 (someone double check me)

25. Kafka, Metamorphosis
36. Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea
45. Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
47. Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker
51. Joyce, Finnegan's Wake
54. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye
55. Jackson, "The Lottery"
59. Frost, "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening"
60. Hemingway, "The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber"
63. cummings, "Buffalo Bill"
64/68. Burgess, A Clockwork Orange
65. Carroll, "Jabberwocky"
67/72. Poe, "The Raven"
69. Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow
70. Marquez, A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings
71. Willis, Rock over London, Rock on Chicago
73. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
74. Heller, Catch-22
75. Kipling, The White Man's Burden
76. Nabokov, Lolita
77. Seuss, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"
78. Austen, Sense and Sensibility
81. Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
83. Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
84. Corso "The Mad Yak"
86. Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
87. Lawrence, Lady Chatterly's Lover
88 Hemingway, "For Sale. Baby shoes. Never worn"
89. Eliot, "The Waste Land"
91. Beowulf
92. Melville, Moby-Dick
100. Whitman, "O Captain! My Captain"
103/108. Yeats, "The Second Coming"
109. Shakespeare, Richard II
110. Monty Python, "The Lumberjack Song"
111. Joyce, Ulysses
114. Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
116. Barth, Giles Goat-Boy
118. Siegel/Shuster, Superman
120. Frank, The Diary of Anne Frank
121. Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
123. Heller, Catch-22
124. Gilbert & Sullivan, "When I Was a Lad"
125. Longfellow, "The Village Blacksmith"
126. Shelley, "Ozymandias"
128. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
131. Shakespeare, MacBeth
132. Camus, The Stranger
133. Beckett, Waiting for Godot
134. Sartre, No Exit
141. Orwell, 1984
144. O'Brien, At Swim-Two-Birds
145. Proust, Swann's Way
146. Bernstein, "Come Out Tonight"
151. The Lord thy God, The Bible, Genesis
152. Stoppard, "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead"
156. Stoppard, "Travesties"
157. Borges, "Ficciones"
158. ? (tried Gibbons, I Claudius, Asimov and Russell)
159. Barre, Peter Pan
160. Adams, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
161. Dickinson, "I Never Lost as Much but Twice"
162. Voltaire, Candide
163. McInery, Bright Lights Big City
164/165. Dostyevsky, The Brothers Kamarazov
166. Coleridge, "Rime of the Ancient Mariner"
167. Marx/Engles, "The Communist Manifesto"
171. Tennyson, "Ulysses"
172. Shelly, "Ozymandius"
173. Coulton, "Kennesaw Mountain Landis"
174. Heller, Catch-22
175/178. Keats, "Ode to a Grecian Urn"
177. Stone, Unites States v. Corlene Products
180. O'Hara, The Day the Lady Died
181. Longfellow, "Song of Hiawatha"
182. Townes, Derek Jeter (Repoz can't play anymore. He's too obscure).
183. Dafoe, Robinson Crusoe
184/185. Nietsche, Beyond Good and Evil
186. Thayer, "Casey at Bat"
187. Hemingway, "In Another Country"
188. Eliot, "Love Ballad of J. Alfred Prufrock"
189. Pirsig, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"
190. ?
193. Morton/Barry/Greenwhich, "Leader of the Pack"
194. Adams, "Baseballs Sad Lexicon"
195. Shakespeare, "Macbeth"
196. ?
199. Baker, The Fermata
200. Hartley, The Go-Between
   309. bobm Posted: September 20, 2014 at 07:00 PM (#4795726)
190. ?

Leyner, "Et Tu, Babe"
   310. bobm Posted: September 20, 2014 at 07:03 PM (#4795727)
158. ? (tried Gibbons, I Claudius, Asimov and Russell)

Livy, "From the Foundation of the City"
   311. Omineca Greg Posted: September 20, 2014 at 09:20 PM (#4795757)
They spread my name and I attained my fame and found the Midas touch
Oh I got just what I wanted, but I don't need it all that much
We played the entire country and we won a few World Series
But I never crossed emotion, even when I was bedding all my groupies
You know all the tales we tell, you know the team so well
Still I feel, somehow, you kind of let me down
You went off somewhere on the way, for caps and sneakers I don't think you'll pay
The retirement circus is in town
Jorge lost his child-like dreams and Bernie lost his guitar
And Mariano saved a game or two and O'Neill's just a borderline star
Under this jersey, I'm the most worthy, no writers will deny
Oh but if I had my time again I wouldn't even wait for your reply
Baseball's just a winner's game, I'm so clutch I need not explain
The reasons for the wins and those few losses
You went off somewhere on the way and I needed better defense that's what you say
The retirement circus is in town
So being the Captain's a winner's game, it mesmerizes and I need not explain
The reasons for the sights and for the sounds
The eye black still sticks to my face, so what the hell I can't erase
The Yankee feeling from my mind
From my mind
From my mind
From my mind
   312. Sunday silence Posted: September 21, 2014 at 02:06 PM (#4795977)
What Good St. Nick called the Yankee pennant hope is over. I expect that the Battle of Sabermetrics is about to begin. Upon this battle depends the survival of baseball culture. Upon it depends our own internet life, and the long continuity of our institutions and our expected runs doctrine. The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us. Hawk Harrelson knows that he will have to break us in our internet Island or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Sports may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit upper decks. But if we fail, then the whole Major League, including the Cardinals, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted sportswriters. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the BTF and its denizens last for a thousand years, men will still say, "This was their finest hour."
   313. ERROR---Jolly Old St. Nick Posted: September 21, 2014 at 02:34 PM (#4795995)
What Good St. Nick called the Yankee pennant hope is over. I expect that the Battle of Sabermetrics is about to begin. Upon this battle depends the survival of baseball culture. Upon it depends our own internet life, and the long continuity of our institutions and our expected runs doctrine. The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us. Hawk Harrelson knows that he will have to break us in our internet Island or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Sports may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit upper decks. But if we fail, then the whole Major League, including the Cardinals, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted sportswriters. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the BTF and its denizens last for a thousand years, men will still say, "This was their finest hour."

Just for your reading pleasure, in today's NY Times Magazine, complete with picture suitable for framing.

Derek Jeter, a Yankee Before the Pinstripes

One summer morning in 1991, Dick Groch was driving to a baseball game in Battle Creek, Mich., when he made an unplanned detour to a high-school field in Mount Morris, somewhere between the state’s thumb and forefinger. Groch, a scout who covered the Midwest for the New York Yankees, decided he’d stop by a “talent identification” camp there. He didn’t expect to see anything special; the event, he figured, was just a way for some local coach to make a little extra money. Besides, the Yankees were considering Jeffrey Hammonds, an outfielder from Stanford, and Jim Pittsley, a hard-throwing right-hander, as possible picks in the next draft. But Groch thought, why not break up the day?

At the high school, a coach was conducting infield drills when he fungoed a ball into the hole between third and short. It looked as if it was going to dribble through to left field, when a wispy shortstop sprinted to his right, backhanded it, leapt into the air and, while leaning backward, contorted his body into a single, fluid throwing motion that culminated with the ball’s whistling into the first baseman’s mitt. “I said, ‘My God, that’s a major-league play,’ ” Groch recalled recently....
   314. Infinite Yost (Voxter) Posted: April 05, 2016 at 07:52 PM (#5189195)
Feels like it's about time for a bump, in honor of the death of Admiral Ackbar.
   315. JoeC Posted: December 22, 2016 at 07:48 PM (#5373191)
The "Death of Derek Jeter" thread is now over ten years old.

...

A pale, bored woman in a pastel blazer was sitting on a bench at the players' entrance to Yankee Stadium, where there was a security gate. In front of her in a booth lay a large book like a ledger, in which for no known reason the woman wrote the names of the people entering the stadium. She stopped Gregorius and Sanchez.

"Your True Yankee cards?" she said, staring in surprise at Didi's mirrored sunglasses, at the custom Jeep Wrangler from which Sanchez had emerged.

"A thousand apologies, madam, but what True Yankee cards?" asked Gregorius in astonishment.

"Are you ballplayers?" asked the woman in return.

"Indubitably," replied Gregorius with dignity.

"Where are your True Yankee cards?" the woman repeated.

"Dear lady..." Didi began tenderly.

"I'm not a dear lady," interrupted the woman.

"Oh, what a shame," said Gregorius in a disappointed voice and went on: "Well, if you don't want to be a dear lady, which would have been delightful, you have every right not to be. But look here — if you wanted to make sure that Derek Jeter was a ballplayer, would you really ask him for his True Yankee card? Why, you only have to watch one inning of one of his games and you won't need a card to convince you that the man's a ballplayer. I don't suppose he ever had a card, anyway. What do you think?" said Gregorius, turning to Sanchez.

"I'll bet he never had one," replied the catcher, putting his glove on the booth and wiping the sweat from his brow.

"You're not Derek Jeter," said the woman to Gregorius.

"How do you know?"

"Derek Jeter's retired," said the woman, though not very confidently.

"I protest!" exclaimed Sanchez warmly. "Derek Jeter is immortal!"

"Your cards, please," said the woman.

"This is really all rather funny!" said Gregorius, refusing to give up. "A Yankee shortstop isn't a Yankee shortstop because he has a True Yankee card, but because he has a little pop and gets raves for his glove (deserved or not). How do you know what clutch hits might be in my bat? Or in his bat?" And he pointed at Sanchez's bat. The catcher removed his bat from his equipment bag to give the woman a better look. "Stand back, please," she said, irritated.

At that moment a quiet but authoritative voice said to the woman:

"Let them in, Ms. Waldman."

The woman with the ledger looked up in astonishment. From behind the gate loomed a balding man with steel-blue eyes and a polo shirt. He greeted the two ruffians with a welcoming look and even went so far as to beckon them on. Brian Cashman made his authority felt in this stadium and the woman obediently asked Gregorius:

"What is your name?"

"Paul O'Neill," was the polite reply. The woman wrote down the name and raised her questioning glance to Sanchez.

"Tino Martinez," replied the catcher, for some reason pointing to his glove. Waldman inscribed this name too and pushed the ledger forward for the two players to sign. Gregorius wrote "Martinez" opposite the name "O'Neill" and Sanchez wrote "O'Neill" opposite "Martinez."

To Waldman's utter surprise Cashman gave her a seductive smile, and led his guests to the best corner of the locker room closest to the energy drink fridge, where the fresh air from the hallway kept most of the musky odors at bay. Blinking with perplexity, Suzyn Waldman stared for a long time at the two curious signatures.
   316. The Yankee Clapper Posted: December 22, 2016 at 08:32 PM (#5373205)
The "Death of Derek Jeter" thread is now over ten years old.

Our grandchildren will be writing in the Death Of Derek Jeter thread, although BBTF may be a subsidiary of Players Tribune Media Enterprises by then.
   317. Renegade (((JE))) Posted: December 22, 2016 at 10:42 PM (#5373252)
Our grandchildren will be writing in the Death Of Derek Jeter thread, although BBTF may be a subsidiary of Players Tribune Media Enterprises by then.
You know too that Jimmy's grandchildren will be periodically banning Kevin's grandchildren.
   318. Meatwad Posted: December 22, 2016 at 11:20 PM (#5373262)
If only we could like posts on this site, 317 would get thousands.
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