Baseball for the Thinking Fan

Login | Register | Feedback

btf_logo
You are here > Home > Baseball Newsstand > Baseball Primer Newsblog > Discussion
Baseball Primer Newsblog
— The Best News Links from the Baseball Newsstand

Thursday, November 15, 2012

The end of liberty, baseball in America - Baseball Nation

I am really going to miss my mother.  :’(

However, for me, I’m choosing another rather unique path; a personal boycott, if you will. Starting early this morning, I am going to un-friend every single individual on Facebook who supported Miguel Cabrera, or I even suspect may have anti-sabermetric leanings. I will do the same in person. All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Cabrera supporters are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them. They are in short, the enemies of liberty. They deserve nothing less than hatred and utter contempt.

I strongly urge all other sabermetricans to do the same. Are you married to someone who supported Cabrera, have a girlfriend who voted ‘M’. Divorce them. Break up with them without haste. Vow not to attend family functions, Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas for example, if there will be any family members in attendance who were Triple Crown fetishists.

Jim Furtado Posted: November 15, 2012 at 08:34 PM | 14 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: funny, sabermetrics

Reader Comments and Retorts

Go to end of page

Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.

   1. The District Attorney Posted: November 15, 2012 at 08:41 PM (#4303810)
The tough part will be satirizing that article's comment section.
   2. Dale Sams Posted: November 15, 2012 at 08:49 PM (#4303821)
And when it comes out that Cabrera vaporizes Afghan, Yemeni, Libyan, Iraqi, Somalian and Pakstani women and children?

35 game suspension I hope.
   3. Rickey Fredonia Fudge Duckery Precious Twiddle Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:01 PM (#4303830)
Nicely played.
   4. thok Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:12 PM (#4303836)
Is this where I should be ranting about Cabrera infringing on my Second Amendment right to metal bats?
   5. Jolly Old St. Nick Done Jumped The Ship Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:48 PM (#4303863)
However, for me, I’m choosing another rather unique path; a personal boycott, if you will. Starting early this morning, I am going to un-friend every single individual on Facebook who supported Miguel Cabrera, or I even suspect may have anti-sabermetric leanings. I will do the same in person. All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Cabrera supporters are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them. They are in short, the enemies of liberty. They deserve nothing less than hatred and utter contempt.

I'm guessing specifically that this is a parody of that crazy guy who wrote an almost identical rant about what he was going to do to anyone he knew who voted for Obama. It's kind of like shooting fish in a barrel, but it's still not a bad job.

EDIT: Okay, I just read it, and now it's even more obvious that this is what it was. The first paragraph is a dead giveaway.
   6. boteman Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:59 PM (#4303879)
I didn't find it funny, mostly tedious.
   7. pthomas Posted: November 15, 2012 at 10:12 PM (#4303895)
Lets start a petition for the NL to secede from MLB because of the dangerous Agenda 21 Delphi brainwashing on the DH.....
   8. Lassus Posted: November 15, 2012 at 10:39 PM (#4303921)
Well done.
   9. Bob Tufts Posted: November 15, 2012 at 10:54 PM (#4303938)
Meh. I would have selected Trout, but c'mon, who still takes sportswriters seriously?

   10. President of the David Eckstein Fan Club Posted: November 15, 2012 at 11:03 PM (#4303951)
Not even will get the reference (one of my friends missed the link at the bottom and was perplexed) but I found it amusing
   11. Gamingboy Posted: November 15, 2012 at 11:51 PM (#4303973)
To be fair, America had a good run. I mean, remember when we landed on the moon? Or when we landed in Normandy?

Good times.
   12. Ray (RDP) Posted: November 15, 2012 at 11:56 PM (#4303981)
Liked the parody.
   13. Jolly Old St. Nick Done Jumped The Ship Posted: November 16, 2012 at 12:47 AM (#4304014)
To be fair, America had a good run. I mean, remember when we landed on the moon? Or when we landed in Normandy?

Good times.


And don't forget the pinnacle of our patriotic power, when the Yanks won those 5 straight World Series. I can't remember when America has ever stood taller or whistled a more joyful tune.
   14. Voros McCracken of Pinkus Posted: November 16, 2012 at 01:02 AM (#4304021)
Dondero's 15 minutes of (in)fame is really freakin' annoying.

You must be Registered and Logged In to post comments.

 

 

<< Back to main

BBTF Sponsor

Support BBTF

donate

Thanks to
Sebastian
for his generous support.

Bookmarks

You must be logged in to view your Bookmarks.

Hot Topics

NewsblogOT: NBA Monthly Thread - May 2013
(1055 - 3:08am, May 22)
Last: you got a STEAGLES? you're gonna need a STEAGLES.

NewsblogWhite Sox Ace Chris Sale Eats and Eats and Eats Without Gaining Any Weight
(80 - 3:00am, May 22)
Last: bigboy1234

Newsblog[OTP-May] Politico: Congressional baseball game, May 1, 1926
(3836 - 2:46am, May 22)
Last: BurlyBuehrle

NewsblogBarry Bonds: Detroit Tigers' Miguel Cabrera 'the best' ... but not better than me
(63 - 2:30am, May 22)
Last: the Hugh Jorgan returns

NewsblogYanks, Manchester City awarded MLS expansion team
(24 - 2:12am, May 22)
Last: the Hugh Jorgan returns

NewsblogDollar Sign on the Glistening Muscle: Scouting Ballplayers in 1980s Playgirl
(26 - 2:07am, May 22)
Last: base ball chick

NewsblogOMNICHATTER for MAY 21, 2013
(121 - 1:50am, May 22)
Last: boteman

NewsblogPosnanski: Jeff Francoeur and ANT
(56 - 1:24am, May 22)
Last: Sunday silence

NewsblogJM Catellier: Is Pedro Martinez a First Ballot Hall of Famer?
(128 - 12:57am, May 22)
Last: Sonic Youk

NewsblogSB Nation: Five lost scouting reports
(11 - 12:44am, May 22)
Last: Perry

NewsblogLATimes: Microsoft unveils new Xbox One console
(4 - 12:23am, May 22)
Last: Meatwads stronger now, ready for the house

NewsblogBBTF SOFTBALL GAME IN NEW YORK--AUG 17
(311 - 12:07am, May 22)
Last: Rafael Bellylard: Built like a Fielder

NewsblogPrimer Dugout (and link of the day) 5-21-2013
(22 - 12:01am, May 22)
Last: esseff

NewsblogOT: The Soccer Thread, May 2013
(1048 - 11:05pm, May 21)
Last: Textbook Editor

NewsblogUSA Today: “Diamondbacks’ Pat Corbin continues dominance vs. Rockies”
(1 - 7:42pm, May 21)
Last: ShoeGrit

Demarini, Easton and TPX Baseball Bats

 

 

 

AllianceTickets.com has cheap MLB Tickets. Get all your Colorado Rockies Tickets, Seattle Mariners Tickets, San Francisco Giants Tickets and all your favorite baseball tickets here. We also carry cheap Denver Broncos Tickets, Seattle Seahawks Tickets and Denver Nuggets Tickets.

For wholesale prices on baseball gifts and equipment, check these stores out!

Baseball Autograph Signings
Baseball Card Supplies
Baseball Memorabilia
Baseball Collectibles
Baseball Equipment
Baseball Protective Gear

Page rendered in 0.1370 seconds
50 querie(s) executed