Baseball for the Thinking Fan

Login | Register | Feedback

btf_logo
You are here > Home > Baseball Newsstand > Baseball Primer Newsblog > Discussion
Baseball Primer Newsblog
— The Best News Links from the Baseball Newsstand

Thursday, November 15, 2012

The end of liberty, baseball in America - Baseball Nation

I am really going to miss my mother.  :’(

However, for me, I’m choosing another rather unique path; a personal boycott, if you will. Starting early this morning, I am going to un-friend every single individual on Facebook who supported Miguel Cabrera, or I even suspect may have anti-sabermetric leanings. I will do the same in person. All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Cabrera supporters are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them. They are in short, the enemies of liberty. They deserve nothing less than hatred and utter contempt.

I strongly urge all other sabermetricans to do the same. Are you married to someone who supported Cabrera, have a girlfriend who voted ‘M’. Divorce them. Break up with them without haste. Vow not to attend family functions, Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas for example, if there will be any family members in attendance who were Triple Crown fetishists.

Jim Furtado Posted: November 15, 2012 at 07:34 PM | 14 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: funny, sabermetrics

Reader Comments and Retorts

Go to end of page

Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.

   1. The District Attorney Posted: November 15, 2012 at 07:41 PM (#4303810)
The tough part will be satirizing that article's comment section.
   2. Dale Sams Posted: November 15, 2012 at 07:49 PM (#4303821)
And when it comes out that Cabrera vaporizes Afghan, Yemeni, Libyan, Iraqi, Somalian and Pakstani women and children?

35 game suspension I hope.
   3. Rickey! isn't dirty, he just *hustles* Posted: November 15, 2012 at 08:01 PM (#4303830)
Nicely played.
   4. Thok Posted: November 15, 2012 at 08:12 PM (#4303836)
Is this where I should be ranting about Cabrera infringing on my Second Amendment right to metal bats?
   5. ERROR---Jolly Old St. Nick Posted: November 15, 2012 at 08:48 PM (#4303863)
However, for me, I’m choosing another rather unique path; a personal boycott, if you will. Starting early this morning, I am going to un-friend every single individual on Facebook who supported Miguel Cabrera, or I even suspect may have anti-sabermetric leanings. I will do the same in person. All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Cabrera supporters are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them. They are in short, the enemies of liberty. They deserve nothing less than hatred and utter contempt.

I'm guessing specifically that this is a parody of that crazy guy who wrote an almost identical rant about what he was going to do to anyone he knew who voted for Obama. It's kind of like shooting fish in a barrel, but it's still not a bad job.

EDIT: Okay, I just read it, and now it's even more obvious that this is what it was. The first paragraph is a dead giveaway.
   6. boteman asks Where's My Ring? Posted: November 15, 2012 at 08:59 PM (#4303879)
I didn't find it funny, mostly tedious.
   7. pthomas Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:12 PM (#4303895)
Lets start a petition for the NL to secede from MLB because of the dangerous Agenda 21 Delphi brainwashing on the DH.....
   8. Lassus Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:39 PM (#4303921)
Well done.
   9. Bob Tufts Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:54 PM (#4303938)
Meh. I would have selected Trout, but c'mon, who still takes sportswriters seriously?

   10. President of the David Eckstein Fan Club Posted: November 15, 2012 at 10:03 PM (#4303951)
Not even will get the reference (one of my friends missed the link at the bottom and was perplexed) but I found it amusing
   11. Gamingboy Posted: November 15, 2012 at 10:51 PM (#4303973)
To be fair, America had a good run. I mean, remember when we landed on the moon? Or when we landed in Normandy?

Good times.
   12. Ray (RDP) Posted: November 15, 2012 at 10:56 PM (#4303981)
Liked the parody.
   13. ERROR---Jolly Old St. Nick Posted: November 15, 2012 at 11:47 PM (#4304014)
To be fair, America had a good run. I mean, remember when we landed on the moon? Or when we landed in Normandy?

Good times.


And don't forget the pinnacle of our patriotic power, when the Yanks won those 5 straight World Series. I can't remember when America has ever stood taller or whistled a more joyful tune.
   14. Voros McCracken of Pinkus Posted: November 16, 2012 at 12:02 AM (#4304021)
Dondero's 15 minutes of (in)fame is really freakin' annoying.

You must be Registered and Logged In to post comments.

 

 

<< Back to main

BBTF Partner

Support BBTF

donate

Thanks to
The Id of SugarBear Blanks
for his generous support.

Bookmarks

You must be logged in to view your Bookmarks.

Hot Topics

NewsblogAn advance scout's theory on why A-Rod is so good this year - NY Daily News
(64 - 10:38am, May 30)
Last: Booey

NewsblogOT: Monthly NBA Thread - May 2015
(2878 - 10:37am, May 30)
Last: PASTE Thinks This Trout Kid Might Be OK (Zeth)

NewsblogFor de Blasio, a Red Sox Fan, the Simple Pleasure of Baseball Gets Complicated
(16 - 10:37am, May 30)
Last: Answer Guy

NewsblogDan Uggla is a good hugger, Washington Nationals say
(15 - 10:36am, May 30)
Last: Misirlou's got a job, but it don't pay

NewsblogOT: Soccer March 2015
(1283 - 10:34am, May 30)
Last: Rennie's Tenet

NewsblogOTP - May 2015: Jeb Bush would like to watch baseball with Teddy Roosevelt and Pitbull
(4679 - 10:13am, May 30)
Last: simon bedford

NewsblogThe Astros Are Making A Historic Turnaround
(5 - 9:53am, May 30)
Last: cercopithecus aethiops

NewsblogInside Baseball: Eight possible spots for Ryan Howard, and more notes - CBSSports.com
(1 - 9:44am, May 30)
Last: fra paolo

NewsblogOT: 2015 NHL Playoff thread
(589 - 9:27am, May 30)
Last: simon bedford

NewsblogLet's play two: Baseball would be better with a split season | FOX Sports
(42 - 8:14am, May 30)
Last: bunyon

NewsblogOMNICHATTER 5-29-15
(95 - 7:52am, May 30)
Last: Swedish Chef

NewsblogPrince Fielder’s Foul Ball Lands In Woman’s Nachos; Cheese Goes Everywhere [VIDEO] « CBS Detroit
(14 - 10:47pm, May 29)
Last: Srul Itza

NewsblogFire Ben Cherington and John Farrell? That’s not going to happen - Sports - The Boston Globe
(86 - 8:04pm, May 29)
Last: Squash

Newsblog5-28-2015 OMNICHATTER
(63 - 4:27pm, May 29)
Last: boteman asks Where's My Ring?

NewsblogIn Which Derek Norris is Blamed for Home Run Problems, Plight of Humankind | Padres Public
(15 - 4:12pm, May 29)
Last: Al Kaline Trio

Page rendered in 0.1942 seconds
48 querie(s) executed