Baseball for the Thinking Fan

Login | Register | Feedback

btf_logo
You are here > Home > Baseball Newsstand > Baseball Primer Newsblog > Discussion
Baseball Primer Newsblog
— The Best News Links from the Baseball Newsstand

Thursday, November 15, 2012

The end of liberty, baseball in America - Baseball Nation

I am really going to miss my mother.  :’(

However, for me, I’m choosing another rather unique path; a personal boycott, if you will. Starting early this morning, I am going to un-friend every single individual on Facebook who supported Miguel Cabrera, or I even suspect may have anti-sabermetric leanings. I will do the same in person. All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Cabrera supporters are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them. They are in short, the enemies of liberty. They deserve nothing less than hatred and utter contempt.

I strongly urge all other sabermetricans to do the same. Are you married to someone who supported Cabrera, have a girlfriend who voted ‘M’. Divorce them. Break up with them without haste. Vow not to attend family functions, Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas for example, if there will be any family members in attendance who were Triple Crown fetishists.

Jim Furtado Posted: November 15, 2012 at 08:34 PM | 14 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: funny, sabermetrics

Reader Comments and Retorts

Go to end of page

Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.

   1. The District Attorney Posted: November 15, 2012 at 08:41 PM (#4303810)
The tough part will be satirizing that article's comment section.
   2. Dale Sams Posted: November 15, 2012 at 08:49 PM (#4303821)
And when it comes out that Cabrera vaporizes Afghan, Yemeni, Libyan, Iraqi, Somalian and Pakstani women and children?

35 game suspension I hope.
   3. Rickey! On a blog from 1998. With the candlestick. Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:01 PM (#4303830)
Nicely played.
   4. thok Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:12 PM (#4303836)
Is this where I should be ranting about Cabrera infringing on my Second Amendment right to metal bats?
   5. Jolly Old St. Nick Still Gags in October Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:48 PM (#4303863)
However, for me, I’m choosing another rather unique path; a personal boycott, if you will. Starting early this morning, I am going to un-friend every single individual on Facebook who supported Miguel Cabrera, or I even suspect may have anti-sabermetric leanings. I will do the same in person. All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Cabrera supporters are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them. They are in short, the enemies of liberty. They deserve nothing less than hatred and utter contempt.

I'm guessing specifically that this is a parody of that crazy guy who wrote an almost identical rant about what he was going to do to anyone he knew who voted for Obama. It's kind of like shooting fish in a barrel, but it's still not a bad job.

EDIT: Okay, I just read it, and now it's even more obvious that this is what it was. The first paragraph is a dead giveaway.
   6. boteman is not here 'til October Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:59 PM (#4303879)
I didn't find it funny, mostly tedious.
   7. pthomas Posted: November 15, 2012 at 10:12 PM (#4303895)
Lets start a petition for the NL to secede from MLB because of the dangerous Agenda 21 Delphi brainwashing on the DH.....
   8. Lassus Posted: November 15, 2012 at 10:39 PM (#4303921)
Well done.
   9. Bob Tufts Posted: November 15, 2012 at 10:54 PM (#4303938)
Meh. I would have selected Trout, but c'mon, who still takes sportswriters seriously?

   10. President of the David Eckstein Fan Club Posted: November 15, 2012 at 11:03 PM (#4303951)
Not even will get the reference (one of my friends missed the link at the bottom and was perplexed) but I found it amusing
   11. Gamingboy Posted: November 15, 2012 at 11:51 PM (#4303973)
To be fair, America had a good run. I mean, remember when we landed on the moon? Or when we landed in Normandy?

Good times.
   12. Ray (RDP) Posted: November 15, 2012 at 11:56 PM (#4303981)
Liked the parody.
   13. Jolly Old St. Nick Still Gags in October Posted: November 16, 2012 at 12:47 AM (#4304014)
To be fair, America had a good run. I mean, remember when we landed on the moon? Or when we landed in Normandy?

Good times.


And don't forget the pinnacle of our patriotic power, when the Yanks won those 5 straight World Series. I can't remember when America has ever stood taller or whistled a more joyful tune.
   14. Voros McCracken of Pinkus Posted: November 16, 2012 at 01:02 AM (#4304021)
Dondero's 15 minutes of (in)fame is really freakin' annoying.

You must be Registered and Logged In to post comments.

 

 

<< Back to main

BBTF Partner

Support BBTF

donate

Thanks to
robinred
for his generous support.

Bookmarks

You must be logged in to view your Bookmarks.

Hot Topics

NewsblogOT: Politics, August 2014: DNC criticizes Christie’s economic record with baseball video
(212 - 10:27pm, Aug 01)
Last: GregD

NewsblogOMNICHATTER 8-1
(18 - 10:26pm, Aug 01)
Last: cardsfanboy

NewsblogGraphic designer creates Star Wars/MLB mash-up logos for all 30 teams
(9 - 9:59pm, Aug 01)
Last: cardsfanboy

NewsblogMike Carp designated for assignment, Mookie Betts called up - Over the Monster
(22 - 9:49pm, Aug 01)
Last: Boxkutter

NewsblogOT: Monthly NBA Thread - August 2014
(24 - 9:39pm, Aug 01)
Last: robinred

NewsblogOT:  2014 College Football pre-season thread
(1 - 9:31pm, Aug 01)
Last: Lance Reddick! Lance him!

NewsblogRosendo ‘Rusty’ Torres found guilty of 5 counts of sex abuse, acquitted of 3 other charges
(14 - 9:19pm, Aug 01)
Last: Howie Menckel

NewsblogGeorge "The Animal" Steele Mangles A Baseball
(160 - 9:12pm, Aug 01)
Last: NJ in DC (Now unemployed!)

NewsblogBill James Mailbag - 7/13/14 - 7/22/14 (Subscription Required)
(11 - 8:40pm, Aug 01)
Last: robinred

NewsblogJose Bautista, Casey Janssen “frustrated” and “disappointed” by Jays’ lack of deadline activity
(6 - 8:31pm, Aug 01)
Last: Random Transaction Generator

NewsblogJim Bowden Caught Stealing From Fake Twitter Account, Deletes Everything
(29 - 8:10pm, Aug 01)
Last: Steve Parris, Je t'aime

NewsblogGiants Designate Dan Uggla, Tyler Colvin
(11 - 7:49pm, Aug 01)
Last: jdennis

NewsblogPrimer Dugout (and link of the day) 8-1-2014
(9 - 7:36pm, Aug 01)
Last: Eric J can SABER all he wants to

NewsblogMariners notebook: Zduriencik fires back at critics | Mariners Insider - The News Tribune
(29 - 7:27pm, Aug 01)
Last: Commissioner Bud Black Beltre Hillman

NewsblogCubs deal Emilio Bonifacio, James Russell to Braves
(46 - 7:11pm, Aug 01)
Last: Walt Davis

Page rendered in 0.1144 seconds
52 querie(s) executed