Baseball for the Thinking Fan

Login | Register | Feedback

btf_logo
You are here > Home > Baseball Newsstand > Baseball Primer Newsblog > Discussion
Baseball Primer Newsblog
— The Best News Links from the Baseball Newsstand

Thursday, November 15, 2012

The end of liberty, baseball in America - Baseball Nation

I am really going to miss my mother.  :’(

However, for me, I’m choosing another rather unique path; a personal boycott, if you will. Starting early this morning, I am going to un-friend every single individual on Facebook who supported Miguel Cabrera, or I even suspect may have anti-sabermetric leanings. I will do the same in person. All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Cabrera supporters are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them. They are in short, the enemies of liberty. They deserve nothing less than hatred and utter contempt.

I strongly urge all other sabermetricans to do the same. Are you married to someone who supported Cabrera, have a girlfriend who voted ‘M’. Divorce them. Break up with them without haste. Vow not to attend family functions, Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas for example, if there will be any family members in attendance who were Triple Crown fetishists.

Jim Furtado Posted: November 15, 2012 at 08:34 PM | 14 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: funny, sabermetrics

Reader Comments and Retorts

Go to end of page

Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.

   1. The District Attorney Posted: November 15, 2012 at 08:41 PM (#4303810)
The tough part will be satirizing that article's comment section.
   2. Dale Sams Posted: November 15, 2012 at 08:49 PM (#4303821)
And when it comes out that Cabrera vaporizes Afghan, Yemeni, Libyan, Iraqi, Somalian and Pakstani women and children?

35 game suspension I hope.
   3. Rickey! On a blog from 1998. With the candlestick. Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:01 PM (#4303830)
Nicely played.
   4. thok Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:12 PM (#4303836)
Is this where I should be ranting about Cabrera infringing on my Second Amendment right to metal bats?
   5. Jolly Old St. Nick Still Gags in October Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:48 PM (#4303863)
However, for me, I’m choosing another rather unique path; a personal boycott, if you will. Starting early this morning, I am going to un-friend every single individual on Facebook who supported Miguel Cabrera, or I even suspect may have anti-sabermetric leanings. I will do the same in person. All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Cabrera supporters are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them. They are in short, the enemies of liberty. They deserve nothing less than hatred and utter contempt.

I'm guessing specifically that this is a parody of that crazy guy who wrote an almost identical rant about what he was going to do to anyone he knew who voted for Obama. It's kind of like shooting fish in a barrel, but it's still not a bad job.

EDIT: Okay, I just read it, and now it's even more obvious that this is what it was. The first paragraph is a dead giveaway.
   6. boteman is not here 'til October Posted: November 15, 2012 at 09:59 PM (#4303879)
I didn't find it funny, mostly tedious.
   7. pthomas Posted: November 15, 2012 at 10:12 PM (#4303895)
Lets start a petition for the NL to secede from MLB because of the dangerous Agenda 21 Delphi brainwashing on the DH.....
   8. Lassus Posted: November 15, 2012 at 10:39 PM (#4303921)
Well done.
   9. Bob Tufts Posted: November 15, 2012 at 10:54 PM (#4303938)
Meh. I would have selected Trout, but c'mon, who still takes sportswriters seriously?

   10. President of the David Eckstein Fan Club Posted: November 15, 2012 at 11:03 PM (#4303951)
Not even will get the reference (one of my friends missed the link at the bottom and was perplexed) but I found it amusing
   11. Gamingboy Posted: November 15, 2012 at 11:51 PM (#4303973)
To be fair, America had a good run. I mean, remember when we landed on the moon? Or when we landed in Normandy?

Good times.
   12. Ray (RDP) Posted: November 15, 2012 at 11:56 PM (#4303981)
Liked the parody.
   13. Jolly Old St. Nick Still Gags in October Posted: November 16, 2012 at 12:47 AM (#4304014)
To be fair, America had a good run. I mean, remember when we landed on the moon? Or when we landed in Normandy?

Good times.


And don't forget the pinnacle of our patriotic power, when the Yanks won those 5 straight World Series. I can't remember when America has ever stood taller or whistled a more joyful tune.
   14. Voros McCracken of Pinkus Posted: November 16, 2012 at 01:02 AM (#4304021)
Dondero's 15 minutes of (in)fame is really freakin' annoying.

You must be Registered and Logged In to post comments.

 

 

<< Back to main

BBTF Partner

Support BBTF

donate

Thanks to
Edmundo got dem ol' Kozma blues again mama
for his generous support.

Bookmarks

You must be logged in to view your Bookmarks.

Hot Topics

NewsblogOT: Politics, August 2014: DNC criticizes Christie’s economic record with baseball video
(4205 - 4:47am, Aug 20)
Last: BrianBrianson

NewsblogRingolsby: Helton's numbers stack up against the best
(62 - 4:44am, Aug 20)
Last: Los Angeles El Hombre of Anaheim

NewsblogOMNICHATTER 8-19-2014
(72 - 4:09am, Aug 20)
Last: Dan

NewsblogDerek Jeter's historic hit that tied Honus Wagner ruled an error by MLB
(3 - 4:01am, Aug 20)
Last: PreservedFish

NewsblogGammons Notes - 8/17/14
(54 - 3:06am, Aug 20)
Last: JAHV (DanF)

NewsblogPosnanski: The need – the need for speed
(9 - 2:57am, Aug 20)
Last: Cooper Nielson

NewsblogKeidel: Don’t Be Fooled — The Yankees’ Season Is Over
(58 - 2:52am, Aug 20)
Last: TerpNats

NewsblogKepner (NYT): Astros’ Jose Altuve Doesn’t Let Height Be a Disadvantage
(3 - 2:43am, Aug 20)
Last: TerpNats

NewsblogIwakuma gives Mariners a second true ace
(5 - 2:24am, Aug 20)
Last: 6 - 4 - 3

NewsblogMinor League manager undresses during epic home plate tirade
(8 - 2:09am, Aug 20)
Last: The Ghost's Tryin' to Reason with Hurricane Season

Newsblog[Ubaldo] Jimenez to the bullpen
(9 - 2:03am, Aug 20)
Last: 6 - 4 - 3

NewsblogOT August 2014:  Wrassle Mania I
(40 - 1:14am, Aug 20)
Last: steagles

NewsblogPirates activate Andrew McCutchen from the disabled list
(8 - 12:57am, Aug 20)
Last: PASTE Thinks This Trout Kid Might Be OK (Zeth)

NewsblogOT: Monthly NBA Thread - August 2014
(271 - 12:40am, Aug 20)
Last: robinred

NewsblogMooney: Javier Baez, Kyle Hendricks aren’t showing any nerves with Cubs
(33 - 11:48pm, Aug 19)
Last: Spahn Insane

Page rendered in 0.2125 seconds
52 querie(s) executed