The New Republic: Marchman: It’s LOOGY Time

New Marchman/New Republic.

Jesse Orosco, the beloved New York Met (and Dodger, and Indian, and Yankee, and ...) whose toss of his glove up into the air at the end of the 1986 World Series is one of the game’s great iconic moments, pitched, absurdly, until he was 46, mostly well. By the end of his career he looked, fittingly, a bit like Yoda. Sidewinder Mike Myers , believed to hold the major league record for one-off appearances with an amazing 310, was one of the more entertaining pitchers of this decade, throwing from a freakishly low angle that saw his knuckles barely miss scraping the mound while the ball twirled and jumped in on batters’ hands. Paul Assenmacher, like Billy Bob Thornton, looked like he was about 38 when he was 25 and when he was 38, and got all manner of big outs for the excellent Cleveland teams of the late 1990s, seeming all the while as liable to shoot the batter as throw some sloppy breaking ball his way. 

How much drearier would the game have been without these men and dozens other like them? How tedious would the World Series be were Howard given every chance to launch his 450 foot bombs with no effort at resistance from someone who might occasionally be mistaken for a trainer, or an adult fantasy camp refugee? By all means let the people pay their $600 to see Carl Crawford and Chase Utley come up in the biggest spots, under the brightest lights. Thanks to the likes of Miller and Eyre, they’ll most likely botch things miserably. It well fits a game of failure.