Things I hate;

-"Promposals"

-elaborate baby gender reveals

Get off my lawn.

Can't walk your way to fatherhood.

Things I hate: Anything done for the sole vanity purpose of recording it on a mobile phone and posting to social media in the hopes it will "go viral," (ugh), of which promposals and elaborate baby gender reveals both certainly are. Also: any elaborately choreographed wedding party dances.

Why are they assuming the baby's gender?

What did he think would happen when the "ball" hit the ground?

Things I hate: Anything done for the sole vanity purpose of recording it on a mobile phone and posting to social media in the hopes it will "go viral," (ugh), of which promposals and elaborate baby gender reveals both certainly are. Also: any elaborately choreographed wedding party dances.

I will say, we posted a small gender reveal to Facebook, because well, it's easier to make one post than to call lots of people. We posted our engagement story there as well, because explaining the details of how it went to friends and family also got tiresome after the first few times. It's not about going viral. It's a way to tell lots of people something quickly. "It's a girl, yes we're thrilled, we found out from a cake, it was made by so and so, no we do not have a name yet." (Some of these are certainly about going viral, but some things, you just don't want to spend three hours on the phone)

We posted our engagement story there as well, because explaining the details of how it went to friends and family also got tiresome after the first few times.

I just got engaged about 6 weeks ago, and man, you ain't kidding. Unfortunately it's nowhere near tiresome enough to make me want to have a Facebook page.

Why would you call more than a half dozen people to tell 'em the name of your rugrat?

Why are they assuming the baby's gender?

They're not assuming the baby's gender, they are keeping the gender they previously had.

I will say, we posted a small gender reveal to Facebook, because well, it's easier to make one post than to call lots of people. We posted our engagement story there as well, because explaining the details of how it went to friends and family also got tiresome after the first few times. It's not about going viral.

But why does it have to be "oh my god we cut open a cake and look it's pink!!!" or whatever? Why can't it be "Guinevere and I are excited to announce that our baby girl is due in December."

Aside from the subtle 'benefits' of using these mediums as a clearinghouse for such information, I still find them to be pure vanity exercises. Although not as annoying to me personally, since I don't bookface or tweetergram, as people snapping pictures of every plate of food they are served. Those people need their food taken away from them.

Things I hate;

-"Promposals"

-elaborate baby gender reveals

Get off my lawn.

One thing I admit to irrationally disliking is the wedding hashtag pun, and I'm glad I got married before this was a thing. For those of you who don't know what this is, imagine Jane Smith is getting married to John Blitzer. Everyone who posts photos and videos from the wedding on social media will use a hashtag like #janegetsblitzed. I find this extremely contrived, even by typical social media standards.

I love taking pictures but I don't take them at weddings (unless guests are asked to do so). That's what they hire professional photographers for.

One thing I admit to irrationally disliking is the wedding hashtag pun, ... For some reason I find this extremely contrived.

Reason being it is another extremely contrived vanity exercise. Nothing irrational at all about disliking it.

Why can't it be "Guinevere and I are excited to announce that our baby girl is due in December."

Because I bet his wife isn't named Guinevere, for starters.

It worked out better than our football-themed reveal. After my concussion, I could only smell pink.

Because I bet his wife isn't named Guinevere, for starters.

"Guinevere and I are excited. I'll ask my wife how she feels later."

One thing I admit to irrationally disliking is the wedding hashtag pun, and I'm glad I got married before this was a thing. For those of you who don't know what this is, imagine Jane Smith is getting married to John Blitzer. Everyone who posts photos and videos from the wedding on social media will use a hashtag like #janegetsblitzed. I find this extremely contrived, even by typical social media standards.

I know someone who was adamant about using their chosen pun, which was perplexing until everyone realized that if you reversed the order of the combined names you got a word that's a synonym for diarrhea.

I revealed my gender at a party once, but it turns out that the office happy hour wasn't that kind of party.

"Guinevere and I are excited. I'll ask my wife how she feels later."

A good friend's wife left him many years ago. Shortly after that but before the divorce had been finalized his girlfriend (now wife #2) got pregnantioe he was still nominally married to wife #1. This led to the greatest question and answer in medical history;

Doctor: Are you guys married?

Girlfriend: I'm not but he is.

She said the doctor definitely kind of stopped for a second to gather himself before continuing the discussion.

I'm not a good person to evaluate the propriety of gender reveals; the only time I've cared about the gender of an expected child were my own. And even then it was a pretty muted response, I didn't know until each of them were born, and both times there were far more important things going on then what gender they were, it's not like their gender is going anywhere or requires some sort of immediate response. I'm not judging people who feel another way, they can do whatever they want about it, it's just not interesting to me. Maybe if I have grandchildren, I'll feel different.

I go through life assuming nobody is really interested in what's happening in my life (outside of my parents, because I know the feeling of having adult children and still being concerned about them, so I try to keep them up to data, and also my own children because we rely on each other for support, so it's important for them to know that everything is OK...or not), but otherwise, I'll tell you how I'm doing when you ask, but not before then. So I find all social media self-indulgent, but hey, why would you care about my opinion?

Why are they assuming the baby's gender?

They're revealing the baby's sex, not it's gender since gender is a social construction. However, people don't like using the word "sex" because it's the same word that people use to refer to coitus, so they say "gender." Though it's less accurate of a term, it will turn out to be right 99.7% of the time and sounds nicer. I personally would prefer if people used the more accurate term, but I know what they mean, so whatever.

You people are the reason America is dying.

I know someone who was adamant about using their chosen pun, which was perplexing until everyone realized that if you reversed the order of the combined names you got a word that's a synonym for diarrhea.

You're friends with Trot Nixon?

Guy didnt have enough bat speed to catch the heat so he took it. Might as well be acgirl. Like Father like Son

Why would you call more than a half dozen people to tell 'em the name of your rugrat?

I make a point of calling all my friends' babies "it" for at least 5 years.

It's my little way of taking the pressure off them.

You're friends with Trot Nixon?

Natasha Dissen and Steve Terry.

I make a point of calling all my friends' babies "it" for at least 5 years.

My mom used to tell me "Children shouldn't be spoken to or of until they've earned it." Well, she told the lamp.

My mom used to tell me "Children shouldn't be spoken to or of until they've earned it." Well, she told the lamp.

Did she teach at the Milford Academy?

But why does it have to be "oh my god we cut open a cake and look it's pink!!!" or whatever? Why can't it be "Guinevere and I are excited to announce that our baby girl is due in December."

Who doesn't like an excuse to eat cake on a Thursday afternoon? I mean, I don't know. Why do we wrap christmas and birthday presents rather than just handing the person what we took off the shelf?

Why would you call more than a half dozen people to tell 'em the name of your rugrat?

We didn't, thanks to the Facebook post. The engagement, I mean, I wasn't calling my old roommate. But why wouldn't her grandmother, mother, father, and sister want to hear that she's engaged directly from her?

People wrap gifts to keep the content a surprise.

People wrap gifts to keep the content a surprise.

Exactly the same reason we had a baker put colored frosting inside a cake for us. You open the box to see what gift is inside, we cut the cake to see what color the frosting was. What's the difference?

But if you wrap up a newborn before the parents can see it, you get in trouble.

I cater weddings in the summer, so last year I saw many instances of the thing where they introduce the bridal party one couple at a time and each couple gets their own music and does a silly dance. This was a Youtube phenomenon like 10 years ago, I feel that it's time to kill the trend.

But if you wrap up a newborn before the parents can see it, you get in trouble.

But I left airholes...

I cater weddings in the summer, so last year I saw many instances of the thing where they introduce the bridal party one couple at a time and each couple gets their own music and does a silly dance. This was a Youtube phenomenon like 10 years ago, I feel that it's time to kill the trend.

Dear God yes. But let's focus on killing off the YMCA during pitching changes first. Priorities.

I really did laugh at that video. I knew what was coming, and it was still funny to see him stand there and wait for a better pitch.

Stuff like gender reveals typically annoy me, but I also sort of think they aren't a big deal or actually hurting anyone and wonder why I let them annoy me.

But let's focus on killing off the YMCA during pitching changes first. Priorities.

But keep the YMCA at Yankee Stadium, it's a daily rebuke to the team's condescension.