Will I be watching this?
No!
Nein!
Non!
Nyet!
Ne!
Nee!
Nem!
Nei!

Repeatedly slamming testicles in car door. Pete Rose reality series. Repeatedly slamming testicles in car door. Pete Rose reality series.

Close call.

TLC is planning to air five episodes of the show later this year.

My guess is that the last three will be online only.

Who's worse, the people interested in watching this show or the people who approved making this show?

TLC is pretty trashy in general.

Pete is hopelessly obsessed, 71 and still trying to get a hit. (badum-bum)

I suppose Pete is getting paid, perhaps handsomely, but WHY would anyone put this on the air. Not everything can be the Hallmark Hall of Fame, but geeeeeez. I blame all the folks watching the Kardashians for lowering the standards. [end of rant]

Pete does have the gift of gab, there's a tiny, infinitesimal chance that it won't suck quite as hard as is feared.

TLC is pretty trashy in general.

I'm still waiting for the word "Learning" to file a defamation suit...

new job for Bill James?

Episode 1: Awkwardness ensues when Kiana accidentally bowls over Ray Fosse's wife.

Episode 2: Awkwardness ensues when Pete unsuccessfully attempts to convince Bill James that he actually did bet on baseball.

(see, the show practically writes itself)

#2 I thought that was your proposed pilot. I think I might actually watch Pete Rose repeatedly slam his testicles in the car door.

Episode 3: Peter Rose gets a haircut.

Episode 3: Awkwardness ensues when Pete is asked to coach the neighborhood little league team, and parents discover he's been slipping the kids greenies.

Episode 4: Pete Jr.'s discomfiting on-camera conversation with Paul Giamatti.

Episode 5: Pete's at the Ponies!

Episode 6: Hilarity ensues when special guest Tom Sizemore visits the Rose's, and he and Pete re-enact the hilarious mirror scene from the Marx Brothers' "Duck Soup."

Episode 7: Pete visits his old pal, Lenny Dykstra.

With a working title of Pete Rose and Kiana Kim Family Project

"The Amazing Disgrace"

I'm still waiting for the word "Learning" to file a defamation suit...

Indeed, although if they officially changed their name to TLC (like I believe KFC did).

So what true educational channels are left? Maybe one of the discovery channels? Although Animal Planet's mermaid docudrama probably excludes them.

I have a long streak of never watching a "reality" show. This will help the streak continue.

Episode 8: Special Guest Jose Canseco arrives and asks Pete to manage his team of baseball outcasts in a game against the Yankees. Awkwardness ensues when Pete arrives at the field to find out the Yankees are actually a Over-30 MSBL team.

Episode 9: Rose meets the r.s.bb "Rose Award" guy, tells him "Look, I like me a lot too but dude, enough."

I remember in the 1990s when The Learning Channel had shows like Connections (intellectual social history show hosted by James Burke), The Practical Guide to the Universe (astronomy and cosmology), and Paleoworld (the most comprehensive paleontology series ever aired, and narrated by Ben Gazzara!).

What in the #### happened there?

This thread has been very good, but not I admit up to my fondest dreams and wishes when I clicked on it. I would bet me house though that this thread is better, so very much better, than the show ever could be. It is a pretty nice house, but I think it safe.

I remember in the 1990s when The Learning Channel had shows like Connections (intellectual social history show hosted by James Burke), The Practical Guide to the Universe (astronomy and cosmology), and Paleoworld (the most comprehensive paleontology series ever aired, and narrated by Ben Gazzara!).

What in the #### happened there?

It's called network decay.

I remember in the 1990s when The Learning Channel had shows like Connections (intellectual social history show hosted by James Burke), The Practical Guide to the Universe (astronomy and cosmology), and Paleoworld (the most comprehensive paleontology series ever aired, and narrated by Ben Gazzara!).

What in the #### happened there?

Remember when USA had Rhonda Sheer's big beautiful boobies instead of character-driven lawyer shows?

Episode 10 - Pete calls Jockey shorts and offers to pose for an ad campaign like he did in the 1970's.

Episode 10 - Pete calls Jockey shorts and offers to pose for an ad campaign like he did in the 1970's.

With the Moe Howard haircut Rose has, he should be endorsing mixing bowls.

Remember when USA had Rhonda Sheer's big beautiful boobies instead of character-driven lawyer shows?

I'd watch a channel that was 24 hours of bad movies being introduced by Rhonda Sheer and Gilbert Gottfried. Not the two of them together though. That would be weird.

The golden age of Rhonda Sheer and Gilbert Gottfried was when I was 13, exactly four years after baseball's golden age.

So what true educational channels are left? Maybe one of the discovery channels? Although Animal Planet's mermaid docudrama probably excludes them.

No I think they are all gone, at least by the mermaid "docudrama" standards. Maybe one or more of the lower level History or Discovery channels have ~50% educational content, but educational programming is never shown in prime time hours, that's for shows about ancient aliens and pawn shops.

And Hitler. Always with the Hitler.

I have never seen an episode of Ancient Aliens but the trailers for each episode are comedy gold. I figure the show itself would mostly be depressing, however.

Last week the episode being promoted centered on the theory that aliens wiped out the dinosaurs to foster the emergence of intelligent life on Earth. The theory was demostrated by CGI spaceships shooting dinosaurs with lasers.

Can't believe no one made a joke about sliding head first.

I have never seen an episode of Ancient Aliens but the trailers for each episode are comedy gold. I figure the show itself would mostly be depressing, however.

Last week the episode being promoted centered on the theory that aliens wiped out the dinosaurs to foster the emergence of intelligent life on Earth. The theory was demostrated by CGI spaceships shooting dinosaurs with lasers.

I've only seen the few episodes that are on Netflix, but it's fantastic. The level of unintentional comedy combined with the lack of self-awareness on the "experts" is beautiful.

I have to give it some credit though. I have learned about a few interesting ancient places/cultures on Earth that was previously unaware of. If nothing else the show has sent me off to Google some topics on my own.

I've only seen the few episodes that are on Netflix, but it's fantastic. The level of unintentional comedy combined with the lack of self-awareness on the "experts" is beautiful.

I have to give it some credit though. I have learned about a few interesting ancient places/cultures on Earth that was previously unaware of. If nothing else the show has sent me off to Google some topics on my own.

That show is awesome. My favorite is the editor for "Alien" magazine, or something like that. He has exactly the haircut you would expect, and I think he has been on every single episode.

The one I most recently saw alleged that the monsters from ancient mythology were the result of genetic experiments by aliens. So the Griffin was just some alien playing around. They used the corpse that washed up on Mauntauk as evidence. Great mindess programming.

First: Episode 11- Pete has an awkward encounter with Jim Grey. Punches are thrown, but are so obviously fake-for-the-camera that the police don't arrest either of them.

Ah, Network decay. Only channels I can think of nowadays that is like what the main History, Discovery, etc were back in the 90s is the Smithsonian Channel and some of the more specialized Discovery channels. Every few years the main History Channel or main Discovery channel will make some big documentary or miniseries about Gettysburg or the Moon Landing or something like that, but they are islands in seas of reality TV and/or pseudomentaries (documentaries that would normally be mockumentaries, but which clearly are being taken seriously for ratings purposes).

BTW, while we are on ratings decay, I'd like to note that Cartoon Network hasn't been all-Cartoon for years, Boomerang ceased to simply be "classic cartoons we can't fit on the Cartoon Network schedule" for a similar stretch of time, you can count the number of Science Fiction/Fantasy shows on SYFY on one hand and they continue to decrease (although they do have the Twilight Zone marathons on July 4th and New Year's, so I guess they can be forgiven... slightly), MTV obviously doesn't have videos anymore, AMC no longer is just old movies (of course, considering the high quality of AMC dramas, this is pretty good... although I still miss when they showed lots of B-Movies), G4 is basically now a slightly-nerdier SPIKE, I keep waiting for them to make ESPN Classic into something else (since they no longer show any classic games anymore, it seems) and, finally... remember when CNN Headline News was, you know, news? And not just, y'know, Nancy Grace yelling at people?

So, I just learned that TLC and Lifetime are two different things. I just figured Lifetime became "The Lifetime Channel" became "TLC" based on the crappy reality shows they are always showing.

I keep waiting for them to make ESPN Classic into something else (since they no longer show any classic games anymore, it seems)

I was going to take this opportunity to bash ESPN Classic Canada, but today they've got "Expansion Era CFL Football" on, featuring the Toronto Argonauts at the Las Vegas Posse. I would totally watch that.

I don't know what the individual channels are called, just that they are from 620-629 on my cable box but usually in there I can find something to watch. It's the Discovery/Smithsonian/Investigation?/History/NatGeo etc...group of channels. They may not always be perfect but they are usually entertaining. One of them does regular shows about people who escaped from prison for awhile that are pretty entertaining.

ESPN Classic is the best idea gone awry that I can imagine. Ugh. With so many great games that they air the crap they do is painful.

Oh, and my best friend is absolutely addicted to "Ancient Aliens." He believes 90% of what they say.

Oh, and my best friend is absolutely addicted to "Ancient Aliens." He believes 90% of what they say.

How long have you & Darren Daulton known each other?

Episode 12. It's a wacky fun fest when the ghost of Marge Schott drops in to Pete's house to discuss politics with Pete and guests Joe Morgan and Bud Selig.

Final Episode: Kiana Kim takes Pete to the Mayo Clinic, hoping that they can undo the effects of Pete's long-term steroid use.

That show is awesome. My favorite is the editor for "Alien" magazine, or something like that. He has exactly the haircut you would expect, and I think he has been on every single episode.

Ah yes, the hair guy. He has a few fan created facebook pages titled something like "Crazy Hair Dude from Ancient Aliens" and a large meme library.

Episode 9: Rose meets the r.s.bb "Rose Award" guy, tells him "Look, I like me a lot too but dude, enough."


Is that guy still going? And Maynard?

I don't know what the individual channels are called, just that they are from 620-629 on my cable box but usually in there I can find something to watch. It's the Discovery/Smithsonian/Investigation?/History/NatGeo etc...group of channels. They may not always be perfect but they are usually entertaining. One of them does regular shows about people who escaped from prison for awhile that are pretty entertaining.

Smithsonian is pretty good... I also like the Military channel -- yeah, not for any new/original programs -- but they regularly replay some of the best documentaries around... The excellent WWI 12 parter, the 'World at War' BBC documentary from about 30 years ago, 'The Revolution', etc. History International tends to be OK, too -- but it's generally for the same reason (they just replay good stuff produced years ago).

Pete Rose converts to Judaism after watching the Family Guy episode "When you wish upon a Weinstein" in the belief that it will help his gambling....errr....money management problems.

Apparently the main problem with ESPN Classic was that, once the leagues and in some cases teams started to have their own networks. So ESPN Classic, for example, can't have on any MLB games with the exception of ones that have actually been on ESPN (I think they show the Ripken 2131 game every once and a while), while NFL Network gets first crack at NFL Films' many historical documentaries.

The fact they stopped doing original content for ESPN Classic, like Cheap Seats, Who's Number 1 and Reasons You Can't Blame, make it all the more worse.

Maybe it'd be better if they just showed all the 30 for 30 films on a constant loop.

Final Episode: Kiana Kim takes Pete to the Mayo Clinic, hoping that they can undo the effects of Pete's long-term steroid use.

Kiana Kim is not the one to criticize anyone else for being "enhanced".

Kiana Kim is not the one to criticize anyone else for being "enhanced".

True, but Pete's problem may be more "shriveled" than "enhanced".