Greg, they're only casting lesser-known actors from whom they can get good performances more cheaply. Take Breckin Meyer -- not flashy, but did you see how much money that Garfield movie made?

The Hollywood version of the Book


Steve Schott: I don't know Billy, some times I look at the standings in the morning over my cup of coffee and I just think to myself "How am I going to do it? How am I going to compete with the Yankees and Dodgers of the World? How am I going to make a difference in this crazy little baseball universe we live in? How?

Billy Beane: Well Steve, it's going to take courage, it's going to take guts and it's going to take a little something I call heart and determination! (looking to the ceiling while steadily gaining confidence a la Mr. Smith in Washington)....Sure we don't have the fancy pinstripe uniforms like the Mets, or the private Jets like the Red Sox. We may not drink champaign our of golden flasks like the Dodgers and Mets of this world, but that doesn't mean we don't have pride! And with With Ken Macha as my witness, I will rebuild this franchise!

Steve Schott: But how? Everybody was laughing at us when we lost Damon, Mcgwire, Mulder, Hudson,Giambi! They said we don't have what it takes to win anymore! They said the statistics on paper just don't add up. Heck, even Street and Smith and picking us 4th in the AL!

Billy Beane: How? How?....I'll tell you how, Steve. Experts! What do the experts know. They said we were crazy for signing an aging John Jaha in 1999, said he didn't have the heart to play the game right. Well, Jaha went out there and hit 35 Home Runs and drove in 100 RBI's,....some experts! And stats! Stats! STATS! STATISTICS ON PAPER! The game of baseball isn't played by computers or caluclators. It's not drawn out on some theorists papers. These armchair strategists, these so called experts with their numbers and their "analysis" (making exaggerated bunny-eared quotation movements), what they can't analyze is HEART! The masters of this game...the best hitters and pitchers...The Sammy Sosa's, the Reggie Jacksons, the Jim Rice's, the Joe Carter's, the Jack Morris's, these guys didn't win championships because of their gaudy numbers. NO WAY! They won because they had heart! They won because they weren't affraid to take a chance on a sacrifice bunt, they weren't affraid to look deep inside and just for that moment, when the game was on the line look for that extra ounce of courage and say to themselves "It's SHOWTIME!" They knew how to WIN! and most of all they loved the game! And that's exactly what we are looking for here in this organization, guys that are in love with this game and know how to play it the right way. Guys that are ready to have some fun out there. That's what this is all about...having fun the right way!

Steve Schott: But as management, how can we instill the sense of FUN in our players if we are not having fun ourselves?!

Beane: EXACTLY!....Are you thinking what I'm thinking?!

Steve Schott: I think so...............

BEANE AND SCHOTT: WAAATTERRRLOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Cut to montage with mock-Beach Boys tune of Beane and Schott having fun and bloopers at a California Water Park...Requisite scene of Beane screaming "AHHHHHHHHH!!!" while going down waterslide.

There's but one choice to play Beane. He's even 6'4".

The blog that Deadspin linked to suggested Paul Giamatti as Bill James.

I think a bearded Ed Begley Jr. would be a better choice...

Who will play Colamarino?

It's too bad Sir Alex Guiness is no longer around. He would be great as Bill James!

Who will play Colamarino?

Jerry Stiller.

And who plays the fat catcher?

Samuel L. Jackson as Billy Beane. Harvey Keitel as Bill James.

And who plays the fat catcher?

Chunk, from "The Goonies"

A documentary recorded at the time the book was written = good idea
Hollywood account of the book that was written 4 years ago = bad idea

Edward James Olmos as Hideki Matsui.

What a terrible idea for a movie. I'd give odds that this thing never gets made.

Of course...Jack Black as Nick Swisher

I wouldn't even know how to begin making it. It's not exactly a story, just a sequence of out-of-order events most of which are conversations.

I suppose the screenplay will scrap the book and deal with the story of the plucky A's front-office as they figure out how to win games with a low payroll, and then do so... but if it was going to be at all realistic, it would have to chronicle the 1997-99 period, not 2002. And even that wouldn't be realistic, because it's not like Beane thought up the A's organizational philosophy in 1997. Sandy Alderson has a lot to do with it, and it goes back to the mid-80s. But somehow I don't think it's going to be a Cecil B. de Mille type epic. In any case, it will suck donkey####.

I wouldn't even know how to begin making it. It's not exactly a story, just a sequence of out-of-order events most of which are conversations.

Worked for Pulp Fiction.

Come on, let's not be too negative. It could be good movie. It all depends on how many snakes they put in it.

Come on, let's not be too negative. It could be good movie. It all depends on how many snakes they put in it.

Dusty Baker:

"Get these ############' guys off the ############' bases!"

I wouldn't even know how to begin making it. It's not exactly a story, just a sequence of out-of-order events most of which are conversations.

Well, hell, Oliver Stone made a movie about Wall Street, and was able to build a story around that world. He sold it with Michael Douglas, Charlie Sheen, and a well-placed upton.

Billy Beane in the draft room: "In conclusion, gentlemen.... Speed Is Good."

Nick Cave as Billy Beane.

Michael Imperioli as J.P.?

Or is Imperioli too old we need someone more like this pimp?

Stan Chervin (Dixon Cornbelt League, Moe Berg: The Catcher Was a Spy) has been hired to write the script. No other talent is attached to the project at this time

The Catcher Was a Spy is by Nicholas Dawidoff and of course The Dixon Cornbelt League is by W.P. Kinsella; neither has ever been filmed. Chervin has no credits on IMDb, though if you Google him he does appear to have written unproduced screenplays based on those books. I wonder if any other talent will ever be attached to the project.

And all things considered, I'd rather see "Bases Loaded" with Alan Ladd as the shortstop.

Athletics Nation had a fantasy casting thread last year on this very subject. Some of the results were hilarious. Some of the others were uncanny...

Billy Beane shouldn't have directed that movie

Michael Imperioli as J.P.?

Stanley Spadowski-era Michael Richards would've been a dead ringer for Ricciardi.

Nick Cave as Billy Beane.

But who would the Bad Seeds play?

But who would the Bad Seeds play?

The A's 2002 draft?

And all things considered, I'd rather see "Bases Loaded" with Alan Ladd as the shortstop.

Unfortunately the screenwriter is face-down in a pool in LA.

The movie builds to an unbelievable, incredible, classic Hollywood climax as the A's win the AL West title and lose in the first round of the playoffs.

Unfortunately the screenwriter is face-down in a pool in LA.

And former Athletic Jose Canseco is waiting for his closeup! "I'm still big. It's the pitchers that got small."

BILLY: Well now we're getting somewhere. No, wait. A new angle! In the snow, instead of the tree, I see Rock Hudson, and instead of the dog I see Jeremy Brown and, gentlemen, Jeremy Brown goes up to Rock Hudson and he kisses him. A love story. Intercourse Italian style. Scott Hatteberg as a hippy Gestapo officer. Frontal nudity. A family picture. A comedy. And then when Jeremy Brown's kissed Sandy Alderson he says something funny like... (looks at J.P.)

J.P. Er ... Good evening.

BILLY Jeremy Brown's a catcher, not a newsreader. Get out! (J.P. runs) He says something funny like (looks at PAUL)

PAUL Splunge?

BILLY That's the stupidest idea I ever heard. Get out! (PAUL leaves) Jeremy Dog kisses Tim Hudson and he says (looks at FORST)

FORST Er... er... er... I can't take it anymore. (runs out)

BILLY I like that! I like that, I can't take it any more, and then Tim Hudson says 'Billy is a very rich film producer and I need a lobotomy' and then Nick Swisher says 'I think you're very handsome and I'm going to take all my clothes off' and then Nick Swisher turns into a yak and goes to the bathroom on Colamarino. No, wait, wait! (picks up phone) Hello, (cut to VOROS) hello, hello, who are you? You're an out-of-work writer? Well, you're fired. Roll the credits.

Dave Chapelle as Ken Williams

(and for the flashbacks when Billy Martin was in Oakland: Steve Buscemi)