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Thursday, November 23, 2006

USS Mariner: Offseason Adventure

Get your nose out of a spreadsheet and boot up Derek Zumsteg’s “A Baseball Mind Forever Voyaging” ...

> Enter hotel

You enter the hotel. Behind you, Billy Beane answers his cell phone.

You are in a hotel lobby, with baseball people all round you.
Jim Bowden is here.
Jim Hendry is here.
"I signed all the good minor league free agents," Jim Bowden says.
Jim Bowden laughs at you.

> examine Jim Bowden

You see nothing special about Jim Bowden.

> wish Jim Bowden good luck

Jim Bowden smiles happily.

> punch Hendry

Hendry ducks your blow.
"Ha, ha, you kidder, Bill!"
Greg Franklin Posted: November 23, 2006 at 08:22 AM | 12 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: general

Reader Comments and Retorts

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   1. Gromit Posted: November 23, 2006 at 03:24 PM (#2244671)
Awesome! Awesome! Awesome!

>Yes, you read that right
   2. Inquisitor Posted: November 23, 2006 at 03:30 PM (#2244672)
Almost entirely unrelated to the topic, except it reminded me of something:

Last month I bought a PC game called Space Rangers 2. It's a fantastic open-ended game where you're a space pilot and can do things like trade goods, fight pirates (or hell even be a pirate yourself), join the military, etc. etc. etc. Remember Privateer? It's a very similar context, but with a completely different execution. Part of what I really love about this game is that it changes pace constantly by adding little mini-games ("missions") that are pretty fun in and of themselves. Many of the mini-games are just old-school text adventures (some of them with a very steep math/logic curve), and they are very well done. They are so well done that I wish I could just access that portion of the game by itself, even though the game as a whole is great. One of the hardest puzzles had me sitting there for 30 minutes mapping out the layout of the "room" so I could get through the damn thing.

It's too bad the appeal of games that are very well executed and very deep in content are lost in a sea of games that have little more than "ZOMG UBER PWNAGE 3D GRAFIX". This was the last game I played in a long time that had me just sitting there thinking, rather than twiching/reacting my way through.
   3. RobertMachemer Posted: November 23, 2006 at 04:30 PM (#2244690)
You are in a hotel lobby. There are many hazy shapes here.

> drink tequila

Hair of the dog! The shapes resolve into other GMs.
Ned Coletti signs Juan Pierre.

> examine Pierre contract

Juan Pierre signed for $44,000,000 over 5 years.
Bill Stoneman signs Gary Matthews, Jr.

> examine Matthews contract

Gary Matthews, Jr. signed for $50,000,000 over 5 years.

> examine tequila

You notice nothing special about the tequila.

Brilliant stuff.
   4. bob gee Posted: November 23, 2006 at 04:33 PM (#2244691)
that was hysterical.

it took me a minute to try and remember what the hell that stuff was about, and when it hit me, i was struck by the brilliance of it...
   5. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 23, 2006 at 06:35 PM (#2244724)
"It's too bad the appeal of games that are very well executed and very deep in content are lost in a sea of games that have little more than 'ZOMG UBER PWNAGE 3D GRAFIX'."

I still play Nethack, and enjoy it very much.

Graphically, it doesn't get much more primitive than that.

Bandit Kings of Ancient China is pretty awesome, too.
   6. TFTIO who can remember his past lives Posted: November 23, 2006 at 07:26 PM (#2244748)
This might be the best thing ever.
   7. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: November 23, 2006 at 07:35 PM (#2244753)
Tremendous.

I was just playing Zork the other day.
   8. Jim Wisinski Posted: November 23, 2006 at 07:38 PM (#2244755)
"It's too bad the appeal of games that are very well executed and very deep in content are lost in a sea of games that have little more than 'ZOMG UBER PWNAGE 3D GRAFIX'."

I still play Commander Keen from time to time. In fact, I play a lot of older games, the newest PC game I own is Unreal Tournament 2004 which I just bought two days ago (for $10, being way behind the technology curve rocks).

If you like older, well executed adventure type games and haven't played Star Control 2, go here and get it. They've ported the version of it that was made for the 3DO system (because they didn't have access to the PC version source code) and released it for free, it's actually better than the PC version since it has voices for all the characters you encounter. It's the best game ever.
   9. meatwad Posted: November 23, 2006 at 08:01 PM (#2244765)
greatest article ever............
punch jim hendry
   10. Don Guillote (The Cheat) Posted: November 23, 2006 at 08:43 PM (#2244776)
suck piece of lime. drink tequila. eat salt.

You drink a shot of tequila. Mmm, that's tasty.

> repeat x10

You pass out quickly.

[...]

> quit

You scored 200 points out a possible 550 points using 75 turns.

You are a Saavy Trader. Better luck next time.
He would have scored better if he'd done the tequila shooters in the right order. It's salt, tequila, then lime.
   11. Maury Brown Posted: November 24, 2006 at 04:24 AM (#2244874)
All Your Trades Are Belong to Us.
   12. jwb Posted: November 24, 2006 at 05:19 AM (#2244885)
You sign Jared Eichelberger

> who is Jared Eichelberger?

I don't know either.


Jared Eichelberger is a 23 year old relief pitcher, in rookie ball last year. If he can get his BB/9 below 7 and succeed at a level where he isn't way too old, your player development people might tell you about him. Born in San Diego, he might be the son of Juan Eichelberger, but I dunno.

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