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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Wall Street Journal:  Boston Kids Finally Feel Heartbreak

This letter is for everyone in Boston who’s 10 years old or younger:

Okay, kids, sit down. Pour yourself a nice glass of milk. Eat a delicious Green Monster cookie. Eat two!

Your carefree childhood is on the verge of being rocked.

You may not realize it, but you’ve been spoiled rotten. It’s not your fault. But you’ve been historically lucky, and the cosmic bill is way past overdue….

Do you know what it means to suffer? Have you ever pounded your head against the wall for an entire off-season?

Have you ever opened a window and shouted out into a darkened street, “WHHYYYYY?”...

Now it’s possible the Red Sox will escape and slip into the playoffs. The Rays have lots of games left with the first-place Yankees. Boston seemingly gets a break with a bunch against the JV Orioles.

But even a small humbling will be healthy for you. It will toughen you up, teach you what prior generations endured and make you appreciate it the next time your team wins.

And there is some positive news, kids:

Welcome to Boston! You finally made it.

ERROR---Jolly Old St. Nick Posted: September 20, 2011 at 03:27 AM | 14 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: general

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   1. Curse of the Graffanino (dfan) Posted: September 20, 2011 at 12:48 PM (#3930657)
Now it’s possible the Red Sox will escape and slip into the playoffs.

Well, sure, anything is possible.
   2. Dale Sams Posted: September 20, 2011 at 01:03 PM (#3930663)
2009 didn't happen? 18-1 didn't happen?

Sure, KC kids would claim they would just be happy to be there,...but the premise doesn't make much sense. If 2009 and 18-1 don't count because of all the championships around them, then the Sox's collapse shouldn't count either. Frigging Bruins are still NHL champions. Also, I'm not a football fan so I can't measure '18-1', but personally 2009 would be more crushing. 2011 is slow suicide, I got used to it. The gallows humor is pretty funny sometimes. 2009 was like getting hit by a car.
   3. TVerik - Dr. Velocity Posted: September 20, 2011 at 01:04 PM (#3930664)
I wouldn't bet a mortgage payment on the Sox making it, but I'm still pretty confident.
   4. Textbook Editor Posted: September 20, 2011 at 01:05 PM (#3930665)
I'd like to see the kid 10 years of age or younger who reads the Wall Street Journal.
   5. Jose is an Absurd Time Cube Posted: September 20, 2011 at 01:09 PM (#3930668)
I'd like to see the kid 10 years of age or younger who reads the Wall Street Journal.


He's hidden behind the three kids punching him in the corner of the schoolyard at recess.
   6. gef, talking mongoose & vexatious litigant Posted: September 20, 2011 at 01:21 PM (#3930678)
Adults who read the Wall Street Journal are creepy enough.
   7. Nasty Nate Posted: September 20, 2011 at 01:45 PM (#3930700)
I'm from Boston, and even I'm annoyed and bored by the over-exposure of boston fans, and having their status shoved down everyone's throats on a national level. Carry on with the backlash, sports fans elsewhere.
   8. zack Posted: September 20, 2011 at 02:12 PM (#3930723)
I spent the weekend with old friends of mine, one of whom is the type to scream and rant at the TV when her teams are not doing well.

Until I remembered that the 3 professional teams she follows are the Yankees, (NY) Giants and Penguins, all of whom have won a championship in the past 5 years, compared to myself and her husband, who have 1 championship between us in our lifetimes. So we revoked her license to complain.
   9. ERROR---Jolly Old St. Nick Posted: September 20, 2011 at 02:19 PM (#3930731)
I'd like to see the kid 10 years of age or younger who reads the Wall Street Journal.


Adults who read the Wall Street Journal are creepy enough.

Nah, if you use their editorial pages as bird cage liner, the rest of the paper is worth a look every once in a while. Murdoch hasn't totally ruined it as of yet.
   10. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: September 20, 2011 at 02:27 PM (#3930739)
Those little stippled line art drawings of head shots are neat. I'd like to see a Wall Street Journal-ized Rich Garces, or Julian Tavarez.
   11. Don Malcolm Posted: September 20, 2011 at 02:33 PM (#3930748)
Andy, you're showing a lamentable Repozian tendency here, not only in furthering the subject, but in neglecting to give the reader the most salient (in this case, amusingly crafted) tidbit from amidst the piffle:

Home is starting to feel tense, isn't it, kids? Mom shuts off the TV in the middle of an inning. Dad's smoking Winstons on the porch. When the Sox make a pitching change, Grandpa kicks the coffee table and announces he has to "walk the dog."

Grandpa doesn't have a dog.


Getting at least within a three-mile radius of Jim Murray, there. Hopefully they won't have to get the dogs out and go looking for Grandpa.
   12. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: September 20, 2011 at 02:39 PM (#3930756)
Fine, you want someone to say it? You need someone to just say it? Then someone will say it. Grandpa is incontinent.
   13. Nasty Nate Posted: September 20, 2011 at 02:43 PM (#3930766)
I think actually grandpa just wants do spark a doober while he walks around the block
   14. Bob Evans Posted: September 20, 2011 at 06:27 PM (#3931009)
Murdoch hasn't totally ruined it as of yet.

How could Murdoch do worse?

One of my favorite books as a youngster was one my dad brought home called Ted Williams, Sam the Genius and Other Sports Stories from the Wall Street Journal.

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