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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

WaPo: Sen. McCain calls for Congressional inquiry into Teddy Roosevelt’s losing streak in Nationals’ “Presidents Race”

You MUST click through to watch the hilarious “E:60” mini-documentary about Teddy’s repeated failures, set to stirring patriotic music, and written and narrated by Ken Burns (!). 

“Theodore Roosevelt was one of the great presidents,” McCain said. “He brought America into the 20th century and transitioned us from a relatively minor nation into a great power….I’ve been paying a LOT of attention to the fact that one of the truly great presidents in history has NEVER won a race. I am outraged. That’s why I am calling for Congressional hearings to right this horrible wrong…I’m often consoled in times after I see my beloved TR finish last. I’m reminded of his immortal words: The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood. Who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. Go Teddy!”

Go now, and watch Teddy being felled by an errant landshark, a drunken leprechaun (who then does a jig on his prostrate body), and the Kool-Aid Man, who busted out from behind a hidden wall to t-bone the hapless Rough Riding mascot mere seconds before he was about to notch his first win.

Esoteric Posted: September 19, 2012 at 07:24 PM | 100 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: nationals, washington

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   1. BourbonSamurai Is a Lazy Nogoodnik Posted: September 19, 2012 at 07:44 PM (#4240579)
Awesome.
   2. BourbonSamurai Is a Lazy Nogoodnik Posted: September 19, 2012 at 07:51 PM (#4240584)
Actually, this was so awesome I have to say it twice.
   3. Esoteric Posted: September 19, 2012 at 08:01 PM (#4240589)
It really is awesome. McCain is actually downright funny, and the "Let Teddy Win" blogger dude is pretty funny too (I love how he points out that "Honest Abe" Lincoln is actually the dirtiest, cheating-est SOB of all the racing Presidents). And they even got TR's great-great-grandson to participate!
   4. The Yankee Clapper Posted: September 19, 2012 at 08:21 PM (#4240598)
It is a disgrace that Teddy Roosevelt, America's most athletic President, has been denied his rightful victories.
   5. Gamingboy Posted: September 19, 2012 at 08:39 PM (#4240605)
It is a disgrace that Teddy Roosevelt, America's most athletic President, has been denied his rightful victories.



Gerald Ford would probably beg to differ on that, although admittedly if we are only including athleticism as president it is Teddy hands down.
   6. Bitter Calculus Instructor Posted: September 19, 2012 at 08:44 PM (#4240612)
No love for the current guy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9JAtl3Jm3k
   7. zonk Posted: September 19, 2012 at 08:48 PM (#4240614)
Hilarious.

I, too, love TR -- I actually picked up a first edition of Teddy's autobiography at a charity rummage sale for $10 last night... it's not in pristine shape or anything, but I was pretty elated to run across it.

If we're going to rank 'athletic Presidents' -- I do think George Washington probably at least belongs in the discussion. He was tall, considered one of the best riders in the colonies, and generally a rather vigorous fellow.

Awfully hard to make era adjustment between the three of them -- but I think GW belongs in the top 3 with Teddy and Ford.

Who else would make up the top 5? Lincoln was supposedly a pretty good 'rassler'... HW? Obama?

I think the 'least athletic' probably has to start and end with Taft (depending on how you deal with FDR's polio... though - he was pretty active prior and swam a hell of a lot post-polio).

JFK would probably be the Jeff Franceour -- everyone probably thought he was athletic and he cultivated the image well, but he had tons of health problems by his 40s.

   8. zonk Posted: September 19, 2012 at 08:51 PM (#4240615)
FWIW - here's a top 10 list that puts Ford #1...
   9. Benji Gil Gamesh Rises Posted: September 19, 2012 at 09:07 PM (#4240623)
I was at a game a year or two ago, and the gimmick that day was that the Presidents were racewalking. Halfway in, Teddy broke into a dead run, and the entire crowd lost its collective mind as Teddy crossed the finish line first. It was hilarious and completely awesome.

(Teddy was of course DQ'd for violating the rules.)
   10. Jolly Old St. Nick Still Gags in October Posted: September 19, 2012 at 09:09 PM (#4240624)
In terms of what most of us might think of as career value athletic accomplishment, Ford probably should be # 1, given that he was an all-Big Ten center at Michigan and had two contract offers from NFL teams. But in terms of overall physical and aerobic condition late in life, G.W. Bush would be hard to top, and his Dad did some pretty damn impressive stuff in his 80's. I'd put that trio as the top three.

Obama's not all that accomplished by standard measurements, but if you can believe that Michael Lewis profile in Vanity Fair, at 51 he still plays basketball against an impressive collection of former NBA players, and anyone who cuts him any slack during these games doesn't get invited back. Given the mix of athletic talent and conditioning that goes into basketball, and given the level of competition that Lewis describe, that's more than 99% of men in their 50's could ever dream of doing.
   11. Gamingboy Posted: September 19, 2012 at 09:24 PM (#4240634)
How about this: If we needed to pick a president to face Vladimir Putin in a Modern Pentathlon with the pride and prestige of America at stake, who do we call through time and space to protect the Republic's honor?
   12. haggard Posted: September 19, 2012 at 09:29 PM (#4240639)
FDR set a national high school track record.
   13. Tom Nawrocki Posted: September 19, 2012 at 09:30 PM (#4240641)
Obama's not all that accomplished by standard measurements,


He's a natural athlete, but not gritty at all.
   14. Good cripple hitter Posted: September 19, 2012 at 09:37 PM (#4240644)
No, the real question is: In a Mass Knife Fight to the Death Between Every American President, Who Would Win and Why?

No one liked John Tyler, especially Team Jackson-Van Buren. Not only would he be hunted down, but he would have an unmemorable death unless Van Buren tries to go for style points. Five minutes into the scrap, people would ask each other, “Who was that again? Why is Jackson wearing his scalp as a beret?”
   15. zonk Posted: September 19, 2012 at 09:38 PM (#4240645)
How about this: If we needed to pick a president to face Vladimir Putin in a Modern Pentathlon with the pride and prestige of America at stake, who do we call through time and space to protect the Republic's honor?


Can we give Jim Thorpe muttonchops and just insist to the Russkies that he's actually Chester Arthur?
   16. zonk Posted: September 19, 2012 at 09:47 PM (#4240650)
No, the real question is: In a Mass Knife Fight to the Death Between Every American President, Who Would Win and Why?


I've got to find room for that on my list of top 10 things on the internet... time for the Pamela Anderson sex tape to drop off?

FWIW- I disagree (he picks TR)... Andrew Jackson would win and I don't think it would be particularly close.
   17. Athletic Supporter can feel the slow rot Posted: September 19, 2012 at 09:47 PM (#4240651)
This is so sad.
   18. Esoteric Posted: September 19, 2012 at 09:47 PM (#4240652)
No, the real question is: In a Mass Knife Fight to the Death Between Every American President, Who Would Win and Why?
Man, that is one great f**king blogpost.
   19. Bob Tufts Posted: September 19, 2012 at 09:59 PM (#4240659)
that's more than 99% of men in their 50's could ever dream of doing.


Damned one percenters!
   20. Bob Tufts Posted: September 19, 2012 at 10:00 PM (#4240662)
Do the Nationals let TR win the day after they clinch the division and make the playoffs?
   21. Kurt Posted: September 19, 2012 at 10:10 PM (#4240668)
I don't think they'll ever let him win but if they do, I think their first playoff game is a more likely candidate than the day after they clinch.
   22. Best Regards, President of Comfort Posted: September 19, 2012 at 10:10 PM (#4240669)
Do the Nationals let TR win the day after they clinch the division and make the playoffs?
The Nationals will never let Teddy win.
   23. mjs Posted: September 19, 2012 at 10:13 PM (#4240672)
FWIW- I disagree (he picks TR)... Andrew Jackson would win and I don't think it would be particularly close.


Agreed; in grade school, I was proud to talk about Andrew Jackson in my history class. Any man who's last two regrets involved not killing/harming someone, I'd be willing to put my money on.
   24. Best Regards, President of Comfort Posted: September 19, 2012 at 10:19 PM (#4240675)
18) Ulysses S. Grant. A career soldier and a mean drunk. Ruthless. Comfortable with blood on his hands.
Grant wasn't anything close to comfortable with blood on his hands.
   25. The Yankee Clapper Posted: September 19, 2012 at 10:20 PM (#4240676)
The Nationals will never let Teddy win.

Maybe if a sitting President would volunteer to don the TR costume.
   26. Esoteric Posted: September 19, 2012 at 10:26 PM (#4240683)
Grant wasn't anything close to comfortable with blood on his hands.
He wasn't comfortable with it. But he was familiar with it.
   27. Best Regards, President of Comfort Posted: September 19, 2012 at 10:28 PM (#4240687)
Maybe if a sitting President would volunteer to don the TR costume.
But FDR is dead...
   28. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: September 19, 2012 at 10:30 PM (#4240689)

Grant was also pretty short, supposedly. As was Polk, another guy that the writer said would do well. They wrote "Hail to the Chief" for him because people didn't notice when he entered the room.
   29. frannyzoo Posted: September 19, 2012 at 10:42 PM (#4240700)
IMHO, without having the two greatest folks to ever inhabit this country, Lincoln and Grant, we're basically, in 2012, living in some version of Putin Russia meets Australia. No offense to either, but it ain't us, US, 2012. The "Founding Fathers" were cool, but Lincoln/Grant are Elvis and Buddy Holly cool.
   30. Monty Predicts a Padres-Mariners WS in 2016 Posted: September 19, 2012 at 10:46 PM (#4240702)
How about this: If we needed to pick a president to face Vladimir Putin in a Modern Pentathlon with the pride and prestige of America at stake, who do we call through time and space to protect the Republic's honor?


I'd think Washington or Grant. They were both officers at the right time to have experience with both horsemanship and at least a little swordsmanship. The modern guns might freak them out, though.
   31. Slivers of Maranville descends into chaos (SdeB) Posted: September 19, 2012 at 10:53 PM (#4240705)
How about this: If we needed to pick a president to face Vladimir Putin in a Modern Pentathlon with the pride and prestige of America at stake, who do we call through time and space to protect the Republic's honor?


Putin recently admitted that all of his gung-ho outdoor exploits were staged for publicity purposes, so it might not be as hard as you'd think.
   32. Morty Causa Posted: September 19, 2012 at 10:59 PM (#4240710)
I can't believe Andrew Jackson doesn't get more respect when it comes to facing down opponents. This is the man who threatened to hang not only his own vice president but an entire state (South Carolina, I think). American Indians said of him, that if he turned is eyes to make war on you, you might as well fall down dead right then because he wasn't going to stop until you were dead.
   33. zonk Posted: September 19, 2012 at 11:01 PM (#4240711)
How about Presidential Don Juans? Let's say you needed a President to seduce Angela Merkel...

Clinton, Harding, and JFK would seem to be the likely candidates, although -- let me put in a darkhorse vote for George Washington again... while I do not believe there's any evidence of infidelity, I do believe Washington was considered a bit of a flirt - in his younger days, a rather dashing figure and one highly sought after for dances at society events.
   34. Monty Predicts a Padres-Mariners WS in 2016 Posted: September 19, 2012 at 11:04 PM (#4240715)
How about Presidential Don Juans? Let's say you needed a President to seduce Angela Merkel...


If only Ben Franklin had wanted to be President!
   35. Morty Causa Posted: September 19, 2012 at 11:14 PM (#4240723)
His unflappableness makes Calvin Coolidge a contender (he and his wife, the very beautiful Grace, had a pretty neat marriage):

President and Mrs. Coolidge once visited a government farm, taking separate tours. Mrs. Coolidge expressed some interest in a prize rooster. The farmer told her that the rooster was able to perform the sex act several times a day. Mrs. Coolidge told the farmer "Tell that to Mr. Coolidge when he comes by." When he got there, the farmer told him about it. Coolidge asked "Is it with the same hen every time?" "No," the farmer said, "it's with a different hen each time." Coolidge said "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."
   36. Gamingboy Posted: September 19, 2012 at 11:33 PM (#4240733)
IMHO, without having the two greatest folks to ever inhabit this country, Lincoln and Grant, we're basically, in 2012, living in some version of Putin Russia meets Australia. No offense to either, but it ain't us, US, 2012. The "Founding Fathers" were cool, but Lincoln/Grant are Elvis and Buddy Holly cool.


What about Mark Twain? Not a politician, obviously, but the man's coolness and badass cred is often heavily overlooked. The man piloted riverboats, went on a stagecoach into the Wild West, toured almost every part of the world at one time or another, hung out with Nikola Tesla, did rabblerousing against the establishment that in some cases would still be considered radical today, all while growing his epic mustache...
   37. BourbonSamurai Is a Lazy Nogoodnik Posted: September 19, 2012 at 11:43 PM (#4240739)
How about Presidential Don Juans? Let's say you needed a President to seduce Angela Merkel...


This gives me an idea for a presidential Don Juan...
   38. Morty Causa Posted: September 19, 2012 at 11:44 PM (#4240741)
Twain took a prominent and active role in the election of a president. Cleveland, I think. Although he loathed and despised Teddy Roosevelt for his jingoism.
   39. cardsfanboy Posted: September 19, 2012 at 11:51 PM (#4240744)
Clinton, Harding, and JFK would seem to be the likely candidates, although -- let me put in a darkhorse vote for George Washington again... while I do not believe there's any evidence of infidelity, I do believe Washington was considered a bit of a flirt - in his younger days, a rather dashing figure and one highly sought after for dances at society events.


Supposedly Lyndon Johnson was much more successful in sheer numbers than Kennedy, just not the same high quality.
   40. Mess with the Meat, you get the Wad! Posted: September 20, 2012 at 12:20 AM (#4240757)
what you expect the president to jump on the grenade? lbj was a good wing man.
   41. BochysFingers Posted: September 20, 2012 at 12:23 AM (#4240760)
Let's say you needed a President to seduce Angela Merkel..

She sure didn't take W's backrubs very well. And that really happened.
   42. boteman digs the circuit clout Posted: September 20, 2012 at 12:39 AM (#4240768)
While I admire Teddy Roosevelt for his gung-ho-ness and love of the outdoors and Nature, I feel that the U.S. is worse off for the Progressives' notions that we worker bees should abandon all hope of enjoying life and instead work, work, work for the home team, until we drop.

How'd you like to have one of these hideous devices described in this article strapped on you lest you "abuse" yourself in bed one morning? Kind of takes the sheen off Teddy and his pals.

So I really don't care if Teddy ever wins. If he does, woo hoo. If not, meh.
   43. AROM Posted: September 20, 2012 at 08:04 AM (#4240851)
"Obama's not all that accomplished by standard measurements, but if you can believe that Michael Lewis profile in Vanity Fair, at 51 he still plays basketball against an impressive collection of former NBA players, and anyone who cuts him any slack during these games doesn't get invited back. Given the mix of athletic talent and conditioning that goes into basketball, and given the level of competition that Lewis describe, that's more than 99% of men in their 50's could ever dream of doing. "

1. The Lewis article is almost certainly embellished a bit.
2. Even that did not say he was playing against NBA players. They were former college and overseas professional players.
3. There is no way Obama could hold his own against NBA players without them letting him. He's the same age as Michael Jordan, and at this point I don't think even Jordan could do that.
   44. AROM Posted: September 20, 2012 at 08:06 AM (#4240852)
I'd probably go with Ford for best athleticism in his peak. Andrew Jackson, for a small and skinny guy, was one real SOB though. He's the Billy Martin of presidents.
   45. DL from MN Posted: September 20, 2012 at 08:25 AM (#4240859)
Ronald Reagan was once a lifeguard and stayed in pretty good shape throughout his life. He's gotta be top 10.
   46. DL from MN Posted: September 20, 2012 at 08:38 AM (#4240862)
Harrison might be less athletic as Taft, especially as president. "Get sick and die" as a legacy doesn't project great health.
   47. Edmundo got dem ol' Kozma blues again mama Posted: September 20, 2012 at 08:50 AM (#4240865)
That's pretty rough on old Tippecanoe. He was like 70 years old, gave his inaugural address in the pouring rain in late winter, caught pneumonia and died thanks to early 19th century medical knowledge, IIRC. The man was a career soldier, much of it on the frontier, and by its very nature requires grit and toughness if not exactly athleticism per se.
   48. Edmundo got dem ol' Kozma blues again mama Posted: September 20, 2012 at 08:52 AM (#4240867)
I would think the Adamses would be in the bottom 10.

I'm sure Clinton was quite athletic, as long as the playing field was a mattress.
   49. JustDan Posted: September 20, 2012 at 09:10 AM (#4240876)
   50. Tippecanoe Posted: September 20, 2012 at 09:17 AM (#4240881)
That's pretty rough on old Tippecanoe.


You should have seen me at Fallen Timbers. Let me in the race and that asthmatic TR will never have a chance.
   51. WillYoung Posted: September 20, 2012 at 09:21 AM (#4240884)
That is one of the funniest things I've watched in a long time.
   52. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: September 20, 2012 at 09:32 AM (#4240899)
3. There is no way Obama could hold his own against NBA players without them letting him. He's the same age as Michael Jordan, and at this point I don't think even Jordan could do that.

Obama's brother-in-law, who coaches Oregon State, has said Obama could have played lower division college ball. That's pretty good but doesn't top Ford being able to play football at Michigan. I think Obama is probably in the best shape of any sitting president we've had in a long time, though. Maybe ever. He's youngish and he seems fairly dedicated to his exercise routine.
   53. depletion Posted: September 20, 2012 at 09:37 AM (#4240902)
#49 great article.
I'd go with any of the presidents that had sword or bayonet experience. You only get one mistake in a knife fight; there is no learning curve.
   54. TerpNats Posted: September 20, 2012 at 09:46 AM (#4240910)
How about Presidential Don Juans? Let's say you needed a President to seduce Angela Merkel...
While in the White House, Kennedy is said to have spent some, uh, intimate time with Marlene Dietrich -- but then again, so did his father many years before (though he's better known for his long affair with Gloria Swanson).
   55. GregD Posted: September 20, 2012 at 10:15 AM (#4240947)
I'd probably go with Ford for best athleticism in his peak. Andrew Jackson, for a small and skinny guy, was one real SOB though. He's the Billy Martin of presidents.
Jackson was 6-1 according to Wikipedia. I wouldn't bet my life on it, but he certainly wasn't small. Lots of contemporaries talked about how imposing he was. 6-1 in those days was a big dude. I wouldn't say he had Martin's temperament. Martin could be voluble and charming and then go wildly off the handle. Jackson was a straight-out sob; he didn't fight because he was drunk or lost his temper. He fought because he had thought it out and decided he wanted to kill you. In terms of a manager, I'd say Ted Williams, gloomy and taciturn and disdainful.
   56. dave h Posted: September 20, 2012 at 10:32 AM (#4240963)
I would think the Adamses would be in the bottom 10.


Ha! I'm related to them - although directly through Charles, not John Quincy. He was the drunken one - don't know if that means he was likely to be more athletic. I'll assume my prowess derives from some other ancestor.
   57. GregD Posted: September 20, 2012 at 10:39 AM (#4240970)
Obama's brother-in-law, who coaches Oregon State, has said Obama could have played lower division college ball. That's pretty good but doesn't top Ford being able to play football at Michigan. I think Obama is probably in the best shape of any sitting president we've had in a long time, though. Maybe ever. He's youngish and he seems fairly dedicated to his exercise routine.
Both Bushes were in good shape in the White House, though the dad was obviously getting old. The younger though is a serious runner. Not my favorite president, but I suspect he's close to Obama in terms of being in shape. No question the two of them are in far better shape at the time of serving than almost any other president ever. For that matter, Romney is in great shape, esp for his age. I wonder if we'll ever have a fat, or even sluggish, president again? Or has the jiggling belly gone the way of a mustache?
   58. Ron J2 Posted: September 20, 2012 at 10:43 AM (#4240974)
Andrew Jackson would win and I don't think it would be particularly close.


The thing is that Jackson could be careless in a rage and went into a rage fairly easily. He once got shot in the back by the brother of a man he was about to start pistol-whipping.
   59. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: September 20, 2012 at 10:50 AM (#4240976)
Teddy Rooseveldt was a fairly serious practitioner of Boxing, catch wrestling, and jiu-jitsu both in his youth and during his presidential stint. He even famously sparred with a retired John L. Sullivan in the White House gymnasium, which is just plain stupid. A word to the wise - don't step into a boxing ring with any former elite boxer unless you're absolutely ready to get hurt. I don't care if they tell you they're just going to fool around and wouldn't dare muss the part in your hair, don't do it. There's reflexes and muscle memory that aren't fully under control, and that's even being generous enough to assume they won't be secretly chuckling at the thought of knocking you on your ass by accident.
   60. Swoboda is freedom Posted: September 20, 2012 at 11:05 AM (#4240986)
Andrew Jackson would win and I don't think it would be particularly close.

Agreed. Mostly because he would bring a gun to the knife fight. After her ran out of bullets, he would then use his cane.
   61. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: September 20, 2012 at 11:09 AM (#4240995)

If only Ben Franklin had wanted to be President!

If only Aaron Burr had succeeded in stealing the election from Jefferson...at age 77, he married a younger widow for her money and they eventually divorced because he was spending all her money and (according to some) cheating on her.
   62. Morty Causa Posted: September 20, 2012 at 11:12 AM (#4240999)
As one historian has said of Andrew Jackson, a teacher would not have written in his school permanent record, "plays well with others." He did not play well with others. He led; you followed. If you were not going to follow, there was going to be a problem, one in which he had only one way to resolve.
   63. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: September 20, 2012 at 11:15 AM (#4241002)
I wonder if we'll ever have a fat, or even sluggish, president again?

Chris Christie sure hopes so.
   64. zonk Posted: September 20, 2012 at 11:19 AM (#4241004)
The thing is that Jackson could be careless in a rage and went into a rage fairly easily. He once got shot in the back by the brother of a man he was about to start pistol-whipping.


Never underestimate the power of audacity, though --

Since the knife fight rules DO allow for alliances, this might end up being Jackson's Achilles heel... entirely possible that a large chunk of other Presidents, few of whom were really stupid and many of whom were plenty devious, would decide among 15-20 of themselves that of paramount importance was taking out Old Hickory first. Given that Jackson would probably find common cause with only Van Buren and maybe Jefferson -- you could easily easily see a motley gang of say... JQ Adams convincing Nixon, Reagan, JFK, LBJ, Clinton, FDR, TR, Wilson, and the Bushes that they ought to form an early alliance to deal with Jackson.
   65. GregD Posted: September 20, 2012 at 11:29 AM (#4241018)
Chris Christie sure hopes so.
I hope he runs just to see how this plays out. John Jeremiah Sullivan has a piece on Cuba in the NYT magazine that includes his discombobulation at a resort pool as he realizes that all the tourists wear skimpy bikinis, even the really fat and grotesque ones, leading him to think about the particular American revulsion against showing one's fatness. Though obviously if Christie gets the votes of all the obese, he'll win in a landslide
   66. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: September 20, 2012 at 11:39 AM (#4241034)
The thing about Christie is that he's not a jolly fat guy. He's pretty grumpy.
   67. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: September 20, 2012 at 11:44 AM (#4241036)

FWIW - here's a top 10 list that puts Ford #1...


Did W really play ball at Yale? I know his dad did, but I had never heard the younger did, only that he was a cheerleader. If he did, that raises him a few notches in my estimation of him.
   68. Edmundo got dem ol' Kozma blues again mama Posted: September 20, 2012 at 11:46 AM (#4241038)
at age 77, he married a younger widow for her money and they eventually divorced because he was spending all her money and (according to some) cheating on her.

Heh, didn't know that. But the king of old age fertility has to be Tyler. He has a grandson or two still living!
   69. Edmundo got dem ol' Kozma blues again mama Posted: September 20, 2012 at 11:48 AM (#4241043)
The thing about Christie is that he's not a jolly fat guy. He's pretty grumpy.

Chris Christie, the new Andrew Jackson?
   70. GregD Posted: September 20, 2012 at 11:59 AM (#4241056)
Did W really play ball at Yale? I know his dad did, but I had never heard the younger did, only that he was a cheerleader. If he did, that raises him a few notches in my estimation of him.
No. He played rugby, a club sport, but not a varsity sport.

Chris Christie, the new Andrew Jackson?
If you watch the youtube of Christie screaming at some guy who said something snide at the boardwalk, that right there is Andrew Jackson incarnate! Screaming, "Bring it on! Yeah, you better walk away!" While people look on in bafflement.
   71. Adam M Posted: September 20, 2012 at 12:11 PM (#4241069)
I don't care what the competition is, I'm putting my money on Washington.
   72. Cris E Posted: September 20, 2012 at 12:32 PM (#4241102)
We will never have a fat president again unless he gets to office and then plumps up. (I think Bill Clinton looked different by the time he left office, for example.) The American people want the leader to look like a leader, not like themselves, and so fat and short and Roy-Face-ugly candidates are at a serious disadvantage.

Teddy can win after they win a World Series, but it's a funny gag the way it is. I'd also like to see the team add a new president each year and then more or less randomly choose who to run from the costume catalog each game. They could even keep the "Roosevelt never wins" gag going but it wouldn't be as obvious.

Also, the question of athleticism has two aspects: Peak and Presidential Conditioning. Roosevelt and Obama and Bush 43 were pretty young while in office and get a significant boost compared to someone like Bush 41 who had a higher peak but was old in office. It's like Peak vs Career when discussing the HoF.

This is a really good thread.
   73. AROM Posted: September 20, 2012 at 12:33 PM (#4241104)
Wow, Tyler. I didn't know that.

His life was 1790-1862. His son, born when he was 63, had kids at age 71 and 75. While 63 is old for a daddy it's nowhere near a record, he's got nothing on Walder Frey. There must be somebody out there with a grandfather born before 1750.
   74. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: September 20, 2012 at 12:36 PM (#4241109)
We will never have a fat president again

I think Christie can win in 4 years, actually, if he learns to control his temper. That's a bigger handicap for him than being a lard ass.
   75. Random Transaction Generator Posted: September 20, 2012 at 12:42 PM (#4241118)
The "President Tyler has two living grandchildren" trivia fact is the one that has blown my mind the most of any trivia I've heard in the past 5 years.

The fact that a famous man born in 1790 could have grandchildren alive in 2012 was absolutely unbelievable to me.

   76. Golfing Great Mitch Cumstein Posted: September 20, 2012 at 12:51 PM (#4241131)
Both Bushes were in good shape in the White House, though the dad was obviously getting old. The younger though is a serious runner. Not my favorite president, but I suspect he's close to Obama in terms of being in shape.


I believe that W gave up running because of his knees and took up biking. I really don't think Obama is a very good athlete or even a good enough basketball player to have played DIII. He looks really stiff when playing basketball. He reminds me of the grad students I would see who were more athletic than his peers, but never really played enough basketball growing up to not look a little bit awkward. Probably didn't help he was living in Indonesia at the age when most kids pick up sports.
   77. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: September 20, 2012 at 12:59 PM (#4241141)
He looks really stiff when playing basketball.

He's also not 19 years old anymore.
   78. GregD Posted: September 20, 2012 at 01:03 PM (#4241148)
I believe that W gave up running because of his knees and took up biking. I really don't think Obama is a very good athlete or even a good enough basketball player to have played DIII. He looks really stiff when playing basketball. He reminds me of the grad students I would see who were more athletic than his peers, but never really played enough basketball growing up to not look a little bit awkward. Probably didn't help he was living in Indonesia at the age when most kids pick up sports.
You're right. He was running sub-7 miles in his workouts then stopped. I have read he's a good biker but don't really know.

I also will say that I am skeptical of the Obama could have played real college ball argument. He was on a great h.s. team but only made varsity as a senior and barely played, right? There are late bloomers in the world, no doubt, but that's an exception. But Obama is in fine shape. And I used to have friends in Chicago who worked out at the same time as Michelle, and they said she is ridiculous shape.
   79. Steve Parris, Je t'aime Posted: September 20, 2012 at 01:25 PM (#4241191)
You're right. He was running sub-7 miles in his workouts then stopped.

Pfft. Paul Ryan could do that for 26.2.
   80. zonk Posted: September 20, 2012 at 01:50 PM (#4241233)
But Obama is in fine shape. And I used to have friends in Chicago who worked out at the same time as Michelle, and they said she is ridiculous shape.


Michelle Obama is in fabulous shape.... I mean - she's 48 fer chrissakes and I think she could pass for a woman in her 30s just fine if she dressed the part.
   81. Random Transaction Generator Posted: September 20, 2012 at 03:17 PM (#4241365)
Michelle Obama is in fabulous shape.... I mean - she's 48 fer chrissakes and I think she could pass for a woman in her 30s just fine if she dressed the part.

Every time she wears a sleeveless dress, her guns look better than those on most women in their 20s.
   82. Fred Lynn Nolan Ryan Sweeney Agonistes Posted: September 20, 2012 at 03:18 PM (#4241367)
Michelle Obama is in fabulous shape.... I mean - she's 48 fer chrissakes and I think she could pass for a woman in her 30s just fine if she dressed the part.

Her outfits always make her look so darn hippy (because, I suspect, she IS hippy). And those half-pushups she does make me a little sad.
Still, in the First Lady Knife-Fight, my money's on Mrs. Obama.
   83. Tom Nawrocki Posted: September 20, 2012 at 03:29 PM (#4241378)
Michelle's brother really did play high-level college basketball, and was two-time Ivy League Player of the Year at Princeton. So it's no surprise that Michelle would be in such good shape.

I wonder if Craig Robinson has ever played in the president's pickup game.
   84. My name is Votto, and I love to get blotto Posted: September 20, 2012 at 03:30 PM (#4241380)
Every time she wears a sleeveless dress, her guns look better than those on most women in their 20s.


Hell, they look better than most MEN in their 20s.

I would sign up for a charity bike ride led by W and Barry Bonds in a heartbeat.
   85. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: September 20, 2012 at 03:38 PM (#4241395)
This is a great, great thread.

Pierce was a drunk, right? He died of cirrhosis of the liver, anyway, so I'm assuming he's a serious contender for least athletic President.

I seem to remember when Bill Richardson was running for President, there was a lot of talk that his fatness was hurting him, even to the point that his aides were insisting he just looked fat, he was actually in quite good shape. I think this is known as the "Prince Fielder Defense."

   86. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: September 20, 2012 at 04:00 PM (#4241421)
Michelle Obama is in fabulous shape..


Rush Limabugh said she's fat. Also presumably a Viagra user.
   87. zonk Posted: September 20, 2012 at 04:02 PM (#4241426)
Pierce was a drunk, right? He died of cirrhosis of the liver, anyway, so I'm assuming he's a serious contender for least athletic President.


I think he was considered a heavy - but functional and jovial drinker - up until he became President. On a train to DC (for his own inauguration, I think) - the train derailed and his last remaining son (two previous children died very young) was killed. It was apparently horrific - I think the child was decapitated in front of him and Pierce hurriedly tried to cover his son's body before his wife (who was adamantly opposed to him running for President) saw it. His drinking picked up significantly thereafter.

What's more - Pierce, though a northerner, was very critical of Lincoln during the Civil War (especially habeas corpus suspensions, etc) and was time and again hounded by Lincoln stalwarts. He also got into a rather notable spat with Sec of State William Seward -- to the point that Seward all but accused him in writing of sedition, and Pierce demanded his outraged response be put on file. In fact, after the assassination of Lincoln, I believe an angry mob gathered outside his home and came very close to turning ugly because it was felt that Pierce wasn't showing the appropriate level of symbolic mourning (black curtains and such).

If you wanted to pick a President more beset by tragedy (I suppose, discounting those assassinated!) -- it would be awfully hard to find a better sad sack than Pierce, and I think that might even include Lincoln.
   88. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: September 20, 2012 at 04:15 PM (#4241445)
On the unhealthy subject, I know Grant was fond of Vin Mariani (which, for the uninformed, is red wine strengthened with a nice helping of cocaine) but I thought another President was as well. I may be misremembering that.

Interesting stuff on Pierce, I knew some of that--the bit about his sons--but also knew he was known as "Franklin Pierce, hero of many a well-fought bottle."
   89. staring out the window and waiting for fenderbelly Posted: September 20, 2012 at 04:24 PM (#4241455)
#71! "...six foot twenty, ####### killing for fun..."

Also, how has no one bet on Nixon yet? In a fight to the death, I'm probably betting on Nixon. He'll nuke you from space.
   90. bookbook Posted: September 20, 2012 at 04:30 PM (#4241460)
I would not bet against Eleanor Roosevelt in any endeavor, up to and including war of the knives.
   91. beefshower Posted: September 20, 2012 at 05:20 PM (#4241498)
Wow, as a long time lurker and occasional poster I have to say this might be my favorite BTF thread ever. I might be wrong on this but it is my understanding that Franklin Pierce was kind of the Todd Marinovich of presidential history. His family was really into politics and sent him to D.C. at a really young age to essentially groom him into becoming a senator or president one day. While he was there he was successful in making the right friends and networking but turned into a pretty serious alcoholic, gambler, roustabout. He still showed a ton of potential and became a congressman while he was still in his twenties and looked like he was going to fulfill all of his promise before flaming out spectacularly due to all the tragedy in his life and alcoholism. By the time he reached the pinnacle of his career he was pretty much toast and during his years in the White House the country was being run by a depressive highly functioning rummy. Then after his career in politics was over he spent the rest of his days skateboarding around Newport Beach selling weed and working at an airbrushed t-shirt stand, or something...wait that was Marinovich.
   92. Jay Z Posted: September 20, 2012 at 08:43 PM (#4241651)
Also, how has no one bet on Nixon yet? In a fight to the death, I'm probably betting on Nixon. He'll nuke you from space.


Ah, I think Nixon, like many pols, was best at making you think he was more of a man or whatever than he actually was. Terrible football player, came up with plays for NFL teams that didn't work, couldn't pull off a third rate burglary, etc. etc. etc. Probably was a lousy bowler, too. My guess is with Nixon on the team you lose, you pay the price, he doesn't, and pretty soon someone's talking about having nixon on their team again.
   93. Hector Moreda & The Generalissimo Posted: September 20, 2012 at 09:37 PM (#4241681)
I was convinced that Teddy would win during the very first pro game at the new stadium, which was an exhibition against the Orioles. But then they'd claim that since it was only an exhibition, it wouldn't count.
   94. The Yankee Clapper Posted: September 20, 2012 at 09:37 PM (#4241682)
Probably was a lousy bowler, too.

Actually, Nixon was an avid bowler. His administration has been referred to as the Golden Age of White House bowling.

EDIT: Of course, you have to be properly attired to bowl at the White House.
   95. Fred Lynn Nolan Ryan Sweeney Agonistes Posted: September 20, 2012 at 09:56 PM (#4241688)
Assuming at some point they Let Teddy Win: then what?
   96. jack the seal clubber (on the sidelines of life) Posted: September 20, 2012 at 10:09 PM (#4241701)
Nationals clinch playoffs!
   97. Nats-Homer-in-DC Posted: September 20, 2012 at 10:21 PM (#4241708)
Third most interesting congressional hearing of the day
   98. asinwreck Posted: September 20, 2012 at 10:23 PM (#4241712)
   99. The Clarence Thomas of BBTF (scott) Posted: September 20, 2012 at 10:33 PM (#4241720)
then what?


He retires?
   100. Chris Needham Posted: September 20, 2012 at 11:11 PM (#4241743)
They'll never let Teddy win. Why would they? They've been doing this same shtick for a million years, and they're still getting stuff written about them. Anyone who follows baseball semi regularly knows Teddy and the Nats. He wins, it's another side show. Another boring dot race.

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