Teddy has been tripped and tackled. He’s pulled a hamstring. He’s been attacked by a panther. He’s slipped on banana peels, run the wrong way and been disqualified for riding a scooter, a Segway, a golf cart, a zip line and a rickshaw. Most often, he’s been distracted at the last minute — by popsicles,signs in the stands, Mother’s Day flowers, a kangaroo, a rally penguin, a racing monkey, a giant panda, a rogue lobster, a juggling clown, Miss Iowa and even the space shuttle Discovery.
Sure, there have been occasional moments of grace, like the smackdown Teddy delivered to the Baltimore Oriole Bird, who had tripped him, in 2008, or the memorable night against Milwaukee in 2010 when Teddy, lying in wait with a knife and fork, took down five racing sausages, allowing Abe to race to victory.
But bad luck has even traveled with him. When the presidents were loaned out to a New York Islanders hockey game on Presidents’ Day this year, Teddy got checked into the boards by George when he was about to cross the blue line. At baseball’s All-Star Game in Kansas City, Mo., last month, Teddy was the anchor leg for one of two teams in a race of mascots. With a huge lead, Teddy was an inch from victory when he suddenly stopped, turned and cold-cocked the Brewers’ racing Bratwurst, who then stumbled to victory.
A terrible way to treat America’s most athletic president.