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Thursday, September 08, 2011

Yahoo: Brown: Mayberry and the Mermaid

John Mayberry(notes) will apparently do anything for a date with a mermaid.

Yes, somebody has playfully betrayed the young Philadelphia Phillies outfielder and leaked a series of emails that expose his diabolical plan to have his agent set him up with actress and model Antoinette Nikprelaj, who played an underwater seductress in the most recent “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie.

Unfortunately for Mayberry, this mermaid is taken, as she is already married and has a daughter.

Another reason for the players to lobby hard for an additional set of services from the Scouting Combine…

Don Malcolm Posted: September 08, 2011 at 02:10 AM | 15 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: phillies

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   1. Forsch 10 From Navarone (Dayn) Posted: September 08, 2011 at 02:27 AM (#3919176)
Just took it to Google, and, yes, she is a rather fetching young lady.
   2. Bruce Markusen Posted: September 08, 2011 at 03:17 AM (#3919225)
Sounds like a stalker.
   3. Dale Sams Posted: September 08, 2011 at 03:28 AM (#3919232)
People who fantasize about mermaids just haven't thought the whole thing through.
   4. Select Storage Device Posted: September 08, 2011 at 03:59 AM (#3919241)
Just took it to Google, and, yes, she is a rather fetching young lady


Exactly. Why can't Mayberry Jr., or his freakin' agent before he sends that embarassing email, take two seconds to Google her and find out she is married with a child.
   5. tshipman Posted: September 08, 2011 at 04:09 AM (#3919243)
People who fantasize about mermaids just haven't thought the whole thing through.


Say's you.
   6. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: September 08, 2011 at 04:15 AM (#3919244)
Lay off. The guy's just trying to get a little tail.
   7. still hunting for a halo-red october (in Delphi) Posted: September 08, 2011 at 04:28 AM (#3919248)
I have no problem with this. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Though, yeah, he should have googled her before he went through all that.
   8. Joe Kehoskie Posted: September 08, 2011 at 04:44 AM (#3919251)
Why can't Mayberry Jr., or his freakin' agent before he sends that embarassing email, take two seconds to Google her and find out she is married with a child.

Since when does the average athlete male see either of the latter as a deal-breaker?


(Just joking, Mom.)
   9. Bourbon Samurai, what price fettucine? Posted: September 08, 2011 at 06:09 AM (#3919267)
Amazing.
   10. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: September 08, 2011 at 07:32 AM (#3919283)
What chance does Mayberry have with a mermaid anyway, after Trout just won Minor League Player of the Year?
   11. Bob Evans Posted: September 08, 2011 at 10:19 AM (#3919289)
Everybody owes Dave a beer.
   12. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: September 08, 2011 at 03:21 PM (#3919448)
From a Freudian perspective, isn't a mermaid an analogue for the mother? Mermaids have breasts for nursing infants, but no vagina to reflect the infant's lack of sexual capability/interest...

Could make for an awkward date.
   13. Walt Davis Posted: September 08, 2011 at 08:02 PM (#3919712)
"Albanian beauty" is not a phrase you see every day.
   14. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: September 08, 2011 at 08:39 PM (#3919750)
"Albanian beauty" is not a phrase you see every day.


No kidding, with the white hair and pink eyes and all.
   15. Lujack Posted: September 08, 2011 at 09:40 PM (#3919804)
Google her???!! What are the odds he could spell her name?

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