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Friday, August 14, 2009

Yahoo!: M’s third baseman Beltre back on DL

/wince

Mariners third baseman Adrian Beltre might reconsider not wearing a protective cup. Beltre was put on the 15-day disabled list with a severely bruised testicle Thursday, one day after taking a hard one-hopper off the bat of Chicago’s Alexei Ramirez to his groin area in the ninth inning.

Seattle manager Don Wakamatsu said the Gold Glove infielder is out indefinitely, and could need surgery because of bleeding in a testicle.

Beltre was walking stiffly with his legs far apart on Thursday before the Mariners hosted the New York Yankees. He was due to see a specialist, who will decide if surgery is needed.

“They don’t want him doing anything, just sitting and resting and icing,” Wakamatsu said of trainers.

NTNgod Posted: August 14, 2009 at 12:27 AM | 43 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
Tags: mariners

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1. The Ghost, elitist lollygagging neck-stabber

Posted: August 14, 2009 at 12:37 AM (#3292092)

You want to hear what a gamer Beltre is? He stayed in the game, took a throw at third on a pickoff play and blocked the bag, and got on in the 14th and scored the winning run. Since Jack Wilson had left the game with a hammie problem, they didn't really have another infielder, but I'd bet he would have stayed in anyway.

You wanna hear how ~~dumb~~ macho Beltre is? He doesn't wear a cup. But I love the guy.

2. mos def panel Posted: August 14, 2009 at 12:42 AM (#3292095)

Hot corner indeed.

3. Esoteric Posted: August 14, 2009 at 12:45 AM (#3292097)

#1 speaks for me in every way.

I can't even read about this story -- leaving aside the fact that it involves one of my favorite players -- without feeling nauseous.

4. RJ in TO Posted: August 14, 2009 at 12:53 AM (#3292099)

A "Ball to the balls" thread?

Time to link this old classic again.

But seriously, a bleeding testicle? Wear a freaking cup, moron.

5. akrasian Posted: August 14, 2009 at 01:00 AM (#3292105)

Beltre does not wear a protective cup because he says it’s uncomfortable.

I'm guessing he's more uncomfortable now.

6. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader

Posted: August 14, 2009 at 01:12 AM (#3292110)

Time to link this old classic again.

Is it sad that I'm really proud of my work in that thread?

7. RJ in TO Posted: August 14, 2009 at 01:17 AM (#3292115)

Is it sad that I'm really proud of my work in that thread?

No sadder than my pride at being able to work the phrase "severe case of smashed dick" into BTF thread without going off-topic. That thread is chock full of awesome.

8. Howie Menckel Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:03 AM (#3292136)

I once caught a liner to CF in a co-ed softball game with what turned out to be broken 4th and 5th metacarpals in my glove hand.

But I will respectfully yield my place in line to Mr. Beltre.

I didn't wear a cup, either, fwiw.

9. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:06 AM (#3292139)

Can anybody here watch this without wincing?

10. Shock Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:09 AM (#3292140)

Vlad,

Why do you keep a repository of links to guys getting hit in the balls?

11. RJ in TO Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:10 AM (#3292141)

WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER GO ON THAT SHOW??!?

OH GOD! THE VIDEO INDICATES THAT THERE'S AN ENTIRE SITE CALLED NUTSHOTS.NET!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!

12. The Well-Tempered Javier Vasquez (loungehead) Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:15 AM (#3292144)

That's a fantastic video, Vlad. Here's something to express my thanks.

13. phredbird

Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:20 AM (#3292146)

Is it sad that I'm really proud of my work in that thread?

well, so am i, so, yeah.

14. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:20 AM (#3292147)

"Why do you keep a repository of links to guys getting hit in the balls?"

Everybody needs a hobby.

15. Harveys Wallbangers

Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:23 AM (#3292148)

I take it Japan has adopted the movie "Idiocracy" as their new societal model?

16. RJ in TO Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:27 AM (#3292151)

I take it Japan has adopted the movie "Idiocracy" as their new societal model?

Horribly enough, that isn't even that bizarre for a Japanese show. I saw one a while ago which involved seeing how many times they could handle being stung IN THE MOUTH BY A SCORPION before tapping out. That same episode also featured a "Go through the car wash without a car" segment, and a "See how close you can stand to a pitching machine aimed at your head before it knocks you out cold" event.

I don't understand what passes for entertainment in Japan.

17. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:36 AM (#3292155)

"OH GOD! THE VIDEO INDICATES THAT THERE'S AN ENTIRE SITE CALLED NUTSHOTS.NET!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!"

That link is apparently dead.

Fortunately, this one isn't.

18. How to lose a guy in jemile weeks Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:42 AM (#3292157)

HE GOT HIT...IN THE GROIN!

STOP THE CONTEST! Give that man the ten thousand dollars.

19. Shock Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:43 AM (#3292159)

I don't understand what passes for entertainment in Japan.

"Once you jack off to Japanese girls puking in each other's mouths you can't exactly go back to Playboy..."

20. RJ in TO Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:49 AM (#3292164)

I know that's a quote from somewhere else, but there's no way I'm plugging that into Google to find the source.

21. Eraser-X is emphatically dominating teh site!!! Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:54 AM (#3292165)

To be fair, I think more Americans watch those shows than Japanese folks do. Most of the prime time game shows involve more wacky than horrible stuff happening and then cuts to reaction shots of B-list celebrities.

22. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: August 14, 2009 at 03:10 AM (#3292170)

"I saw one a while ago which involved seeing how many times they could handle being stung IN THE MOUTH BY A SCORPION before tapping out."

Aw, that's nothin'.

23. JJ1986 Posted: August 14, 2009 at 03:24 AM (#3292173)

I know that's a quote from somewhere else, but there's no way I'm plugging that into Google to find the source.

South Park

24. PASTE is not impressed by Albert Pujols (Zeth) Posted: August 14, 2009 at 04:28 AM (#3292189)

You think Beltre's tough? Nicklas Lidstrom played the entire Stanley ####### Cup Finals right after having, quote, 'testicular surgery'. Normally I'd say something like 'wow, that guy has balls', but...

25. KarmaConstable Posted: August 14, 2009 at 05:33 AM (#3292198)

Shock, Ryan, etc.,

It's not exactly a "game show." The guys are actually all comedians and the clip is from their weekly comedy show. Sometimes they do these kinds of crazy, masochistic "batsu" (punishment) games and their reactions are played for laughs; they're not competing to avoid punishment so much as to be the funniest (except for maybe this segment). It's all very slapsticky and almost completely improvised, sort of like... "Whose Line" meets "Jackass"? You don't even need to know what they're saying half the time. Funny stuff...

That video is also ~10 years old. Japan has a strange ability to embrace the comedians who specialize in doing humiliating, embarrassing, utterly silly things for the sake of entertainment. The two hosts of the show, a duo called Downtown, are immensely popular and respected and their show is still running strong.

26. nick swisher hygiene Posted: August 14, 2009 at 06:46 AM (#3292204)

Forthcoming Beltre bio: "2 Balls, No Cup"...

27. Steve Phillips' Hot Cougar (DrStankus) Posted: August 14, 2009 at 07:04 AM (#3292206)

popular and respected

These two adjectives are not often together in the ol u s of a.

28. Don't want the truth; just wanna see some dingers Posted: August 14, 2009 at 12:57 PM (#3292240)

I never realized until just now that our handles in threads past are automatically changed to the most recent incarnation.

29. Infinite Yost (Voxter)

Posted: August 14, 2009 at 01:40 PM (#3292270)

It can be a bit confusing, can't it?

On the subject of this thread, Adrian Beltre is a brave man with a tiny brain.

30. The Yankee Clapper Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:07 PM (#3292281)

Beltre does not wear a protective cup because he says it’s uncomfortable.

Don't think that's the norm for 3rd basemen. Cal Ripken said he never took a ball off the cup in all the years he played SS but that it happened regularly when he played 3rd.

3rd basemen should wear one in the field, and probably at bat just to be safe. If "comfort" is a factor once reaching base, you could call time and hand it to the 1st base coach along with your elbow pad and shin guard.

31. Best Regards, Larry M. Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:12 PM (#3292284)

Charlie Hayes also never wore a cup.

32. Infinite Yost (Voxter)

Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:13 PM (#3292286)

I remember when I was in Little League, it was a rule that everybody had to wear a cup, even the two or three girls who played baseball instead of softball.

33. Craig in MN Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:22 PM (#3292295)

If "comfort" is a factor once reaching base, you could call time and hand it to the 1st base coach along with your elbow pad and shin guard.

Didn't someone get nailed running the bases in the past couple years? I have a hazy memory of that happening, but I could be mistaken. Either way, it's smart to wear one no matter what.

34. DCA Posted: August 14, 2009 at 02:38 PM (#3292306)

I remember when I was in Little League, it was a rule that everybody had to wear a cup,

I my LL, only the catcher had to wear a cup.

35. Infinite Yost (Voxter)

Posted: August 14, 2009 at 05:41 PM (#3292479)

Maybe that's what I remember, but if the girls played catcher, they had to wear a cup, too.

I always played catcher, so I just got used to it.

36. xbhaskarx Posted: August 15, 2009 at 03:23 AM (#3293195)

So Kaz Matsui had an anal fissure, Felix Pie had twisted testicles, and Adrian Beltre has severely bruised testicles...
Do they really need to make this information public, why don't the teams just lie and say they're out with flu-like symptoms?

37. RJ in TO Posted: August 15, 2009 at 03:30 AM (#3293206)

Do they really need to make this information public, why don't the teams just lie and say they're out with flu-like symptoms?

Hockey always refers to things as an upper-body or lower-body injury. No additional information is typically forthcoming.

In cases like this, MLB could learn from the NHL. I'd much rather hear that Beltre is out with a lower body injury than that he's out with a bleeding nut.

38. Steve Sparks Flying Everywhere Posted: August 15, 2009 at 05:35 AM (#3293235)

why don't the teams just lie and say they're out with flu-like symptoms?

Isn't that the code for hangover?

39. Biff isn't really an apt handle anymore Posted: August 15, 2009 at 06:26 AM (#3293240)

Ow! My Balls!

40. dirk

Posted: August 15, 2009 at 07:20 AM (#3293249)

i heard this guy's balls got hit real bad.

41. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: August 15, 2009 at 07:35 AM (#3293251)

What's with the hysteria? Beltre's a third sacker.

42. The Ghost, elitist lollygagging neck-stabber

Posted: August 27, 2009 at 01:08 AM (#3306300)

Update from today's Seattle Times:

One of the hitters facing Silva was Adrian Beltre, who continues to improve. The fact that he was seen carrying Endy Chavez piggy-back is being interpreted as a good sign.

"I don't know how intelligent that is, but it shows he's feeling pretty good,'' [Mariners manager Don] Wakamatsu said.

He isn't sure if he'll wear a cup when he returns.

43. TVerik Posted: August 27, 2009 at 02:46 AM (#3306371)

I think carrying Endy Chavez piggy-back is the universal sign for "my testicles are feeling much better, thanks".

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Yahoo!: M’s third baseman Beltre back on DL

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