Yakkin’ About Baseball: The Michael Kay Diet

Can’t stop the jellied vealing! David Roth and David Raposa serve it up!

David Raposa: Kay’s three basic food groups, per his wife: bacon, steak, and the aformentioned chicken-pasta amalgam. His colon must look like Clint Hurdle’s face.

David Roth: I know that Clint Hurdle is a bunt-happy doofus, but I do love that the Pirates are in first place. I love it a lot.

David Raposa: I wish I could fully get on board with the Pirate love.

David Roth: What’s your problem with the Bucs? They kept Derek Bell off the streets, they made Pat Meares a millionaire… they’re like the Medicaid of sports. Remember the neediest, David Raposa.

...David Raposa: I would love to hear what those dopes who dismissed the Nate McLouth trade have to say now.

David Roth: The dopes that bad-mouthed it all got traded themselves. Untouchable Core Guys/well-paid replacement-level busters like Sean Burnett were like “I’m not putting up a 4.15 ERA as a situational reliever to see my poker buddies get traded like this. OPERATION SHUTDOWN BEGINS NOW”

David Raposa: I was talking about the Rosenthals and Olneys of the world. I forgot there was a player revolt! “How are we going to win 63 games without our vaguely above-average center fielder! He made the best lemon squares!”