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Thursday, May 08, 2014

Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez shaves his arms and legs, according to famous MLB barber

“...When he spotted Alex Rodriguez shaving his legs at Yankee Stadium, Jose Moises Lopez knew just what to do. He offered to help. ‘I didn’t want him to cut himself,’ Lopez said in Spanish. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ I said. ‘I’ll do it for you.’ He shaves his arms and legs.”

Shedding centaurs are such a nuisance.

NattyBoh Posted: May 08, 2014 at 12:36 PM | 35 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: alex rodriguez, yankees

Reader Comments and Retorts

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   1. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: May 08, 2014 at 01:08 PM (#4702911)
What about his mane?

BECAUSE HORSE.
   2. Publius Publicola Posted: May 08, 2014 at 01:12 PM (#4702918)
lopez must have noticed it's awfully hard to hold a trimmer with a hoof.
   3. PreservedFish Posted: May 08, 2014 at 01:15 PM (#4702921)
Alright, enough is enough. Horse jokes won't cut it. We all know that centaurs have human arms, heads and hair. Only horse jokes that refer to the bottom half of the animal will be accepted.
   4. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: May 08, 2014 at 01:16 PM (#4702922)
Yeah, no way could he reach his back legs with his hand.
   5. PreservedFish Posted: May 08, 2014 at 01:19 PM (#4702924)
   6. valuearbitrageur Posted: May 08, 2014 at 01:26 PM (#4702930)
Is there no depth to which he has not sunk?

I'm assuming all shaving ceased once it reached his underwear line?
   7. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: May 08, 2014 at 01:27 PM (#4702931)
"Famous MLB barber"?
   8. Tulo's Fishy Mullet (mrams) Posted: May 08, 2014 at 01:27 PM (#4702932)
and he turns right on red too.
   9. Joey B. is counting the days to Trea Turner Posted: May 08, 2014 at 01:36 PM (#4702940)
He's obviously a mare trapped in a stallion's body.
   10. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: May 08, 2014 at 01:38 PM (#4702942)
Only horse jokes that refer to the bottom half of the animal will be accepted.


Native Americans made jokes about every part of the animal.
   11. Rants Mulliniks Posted: May 08, 2014 at 01:40 PM (#4702943)
Don't all metro guys shave their bodies? How else are you supposed to see the tattoos?
   12. Davo's Favorite Tacos Are Moose Tacos Posted: May 08, 2014 at 01:47 PM (#4702950)
Don't all metro guys shave their bodies? How else are you supposed to see the tattoos?
They have two options: No hair, or grossly too much hair. No in between.
   13. Graham & the 15-win "ARod Vortex of suck" Posted: May 08, 2014 at 01:57 PM (#4702955)
"Famous MLB barber"?


I think he's talking about Sal Maglie.
   14. Der-K convinces people that Hot Pockets are pies. Posted: May 08, 2014 at 02:01 PM (#4702957)
gotta take care of those foallicles
   15. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: May 08, 2014 at 02:04 PM (#4702958)
"Famous MLB barber"?

I think he's talking about Sal Maglie.


Nah, it's sideburn-hating Montgomery Burns.
   16. Bitter Mouse, Space Tyrant Posted: May 08, 2014 at 02:05 PM (#4702959)
ARod, still my favorite player (not for anything he does on the diamond).
   17. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: May 08, 2014 at 02:12 PM (#4702965)
You thought it was hard to shave a chin without nicks, try a fetlock.
   18. BDC Posted: May 08, 2014 at 02:21 PM (#4702969)
Such a double standard! Michael Phelps shaves his arms and legs, wins a bunch of gold medals, and everyone is like "what a competitor." AROD shaves his arms and legs and it's all "A horse is a horse, of course, of course." And no one can talk to a horse, of course. Unless, of course, that horse, of course … what was my point here.
   19. I am going to be Frank Posted: May 08, 2014 at 02:46 PM (#4702985)
My friend shaves his legs. He's not a swimmer and far from "metrosexual". He just likes the way it feels.
   20. Traderdave Posted: May 08, 2014 at 02:49 PM (#4702986)
Giambi was reputed to shave his entire body. Does that make him the truer Yankee?
   21. Steve N Posted: May 08, 2014 at 05:03 PM (#4703060)
Absolutely.
   22. Gold Star - just Gold Star Posted: May 08, 2014 at 05:13 PM (#4703065)
Charlie "King Kong" Keller, in his grave, spins like a lathe.
   23. Los Angeles El Hombre de Anaheim Posted: May 08, 2014 at 06:04 PM (#4703084)
Giambi was reputed to shave his entire body. Does that make him the truer Yankee?
Certainly a smoother one.
   24. Booey Posted: May 08, 2014 at 06:24 PM (#4703094)
I've had two different (straight) guy friends who aren't swimmers that claimed they shaved their entire bodies from the neck down, even the hard to reach areas that involved bending over and the creative use of mirrors. They both just said that body hair is gross.

I don't get it either, but whatever floats your boat, I guess.
   25. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: May 08, 2014 at 06:40 PM (#4703101)

I don't get it either, but whatever floats your boat, I guess.

I can understand trimming certain areas if you're very hairy. But a full shave seems both time-consuming and painful.
   26. Bote Man makes baseball fun again Posted: May 08, 2014 at 07:19 PM (#4703111)
I must assume that everyone who has commented upthread is well above the age of 35 years.
   27. Swoboda is freedom Posted: May 08, 2014 at 07:56 PM (#4703120)
My friend shaves his legs. He's not a swimmer

I shaved a few times before big swim meets. It was really weird and awful when it grows back. Between the returning hair and the chlorine, I would spend all day itching. And I didn't have a tail to swat the big itches.
   28. pthomas Posted: May 08, 2014 at 08:38 PM (#4703129)
Two stories I hate:

1. Arod is weird because_________.

2. NFL draft.
   29. McCoy Posted: May 08, 2014 at 08:47 PM (#4703134)
I've shaved a few times and it is just about the worst thing I've done with my body. Ever.
   30. Walt Davis Posted: May 08, 2014 at 08:51 PM (#4703138)
The improved aerodynamics should trim his time in the Preakness.
   31. RMc (full name TBA) Posted: May 08, 2014 at 09:06 PM (#4703149)
A-Rod is weird because of the NFL draft.
   32. SteveM. Posted: May 08, 2014 at 09:52 PM (#4703171)
A buddy of mine in college had to shave his back every spring break so he could go to the beach. He might have been the missing link.
   33. bobm Posted: May 08, 2014 at 10:17 PM (#4703180)
Top 7 uses for A Rod centaur hair:

7. Collectible packaged with limited edition A Rod baseball cards
6. Violin bowstrings to play "My Heart Bleeds for You"
5. Upholstery for field level seats below the moat in Yankee Stadium
4. Padding in shortstops' gloves and caps
3. Fishing line (for fishing for compliments)
2. Bristles for home plate umpires' brushes
1. Woven horsehair Derek Jeter gift baskets
   34. Zach Posted: May 09, 2014 at 06:36 PM (#4703741)
I hope Arod goes into coaching or managing after his career is over. Baseball needs more eccentrics.
   35. Jose Remains The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: May 09, 2014 at 06:42 PM (#4703743)
If you do the full body shave do you use after shave all over? I gotta tell ya', the sting of after shave on my face in the morning is bracing, wakes me up a bit. There are other areas where the sting of after shave would not be so pleasant I suspect.

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