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Transaction Oracle— A Timely Look at Transactions as They Happen
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Colorado Rockies - DFAed Finley
Colorado Rockies - Designated OF Steve Finley for assignment.
Wilhelm Keitel lovingly stroked the Führer’s toothbrush-moustache as he stared
into his lover’s eyes, dark like drops of the purest obsidian. “You may be the
Oberkammondo der Werhmacht,” sighed the smitten Field Marshal, “but I’ll
always know you as the Oberkammondo of my heart!”
Adolf shied away from the cool touch of his dear companion’s hand. His heart
had not fluttered in this manner since his dearly departed Ernst tragically passed
away a decade before. But where Ernst was never a physical specimen, the man
in front of him was sculpted and experienced, a true example of Wagnerian legend.
Here was a man he could embrace without invoking Führerprinzip! Finally, Adolf found
the words he so wanted to say to this man. “Dear Wilhelm, I’d butcher all the Moravians,
just to see you smile.”
That’s how bad a player Steve Finley is now - discussing Naziporn is more palatable than considering Finley’s ability as a baseball player.
Dan Szymborski
Posted: June 05, 2007 at 07:22 PM | 17 comment(s)
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1. Paul The Paranoid Android Posted: June 05, 2007 at 08:27 PM (#2393931)Well, it's one way to increase traffic from google searches.
More hits than Heinie Manush, Mickey Vernon, Lloyd Waner, Jim Rice, Mickey Mantle or Ryne Sandberg
More runs than Harry Hooper, Rod Carew, Billy Williams, Roberto Clemente, Joe DiMaggio, Tony Gwynn, or Sam Crawford
More total bases than Harmon Killebrew, Wade Boggs, Rod Carew, Carlton Fisk, Orlando Cepeda or Joe Dimaggio
More doubles than Luke Appling, Roberto Clemente and Billy Williams
More home runs than Rogers Hornsby, Chuck Klein, Rickey Henderson, or Ryne Sandberg
More RBI than Rocky Colavito, Rudy York, Ken Boyer, Tony Gwynn, Joe Morgan or Joe Adcock
And more stolen bases than Hank Aaron OR Babe Ruth!
Nah. Maybe in the top 5%, though.
-- MWE
Of which, the strangest is undoubtedly this one (NSFW).
The Naziporn was better.
"Mark McGwire" AND "Nazi" AND "porn" - 887 hits
"Pokey Reese" AND "Nazi" AND "porn" - 36 hits
"Tom Brokaw" AND "Nazi" AND "porn" - 11,300 hits
"Ted Williams" AND "Nazi" AND "porn" - 896 hits
"Ted Williams" AND "Nazi" AND "lemonade" - 312 hits
"Karl Rove" AND "Nazi" AND "cerebrospinal fluid" - 30 hits
"Scott Karl" AND "Karl Rove" AND "porn" - did not match any documents
"Rocco Baldelli" AND "sausage" AND "juice" - 52 hits
"Rocco Baldelli" AND "sausage" AND "juice" AND "eruption" - 4 hits
"Gillick" AND "paperclip" AND "removal" - 11 hits
"Derek Jeter" AND "insufferable" - 2,180 hits
"Derek Jeter" AND "the lady doth protest too much" - 32 hits
"Derek Jeter" AND "Hamlet" AND "William Shakespeare" - 569 hits
"Shakespeare" AND "Dustin McGowan" - 43 hits
"cucumber" AND "San Antonio" AND "LaRussa" - 62 hits
"Olmedo Saenz" AND "butter" AND "Marlon Brando" - 1 hit
"Steve Finley" AND "toilet" AND "opera" - 122 hits
"Torre" AND "malformed" - 657 hits
"Torre" AND "malformed" AND "thighs" - 58 hits
"Big Papi" AND "Roosevelt" AND "putty" - 2 hits
"John Gibbons" AND "Rageaholic" - 1 hit
"this is a sinking ship" - 50,500 hits
"massage table" AND "Hernandez" AND "grits" - 29 hits
"Gary Sheffield" AND "uppity" - 304 hits
"Tino Martinez" AND "chocolate pudding" AND "waterbed" - did not match any documents
"Bruney" and "rubber" and "holes" - 195 hits
"Ty Wigginton" AND "plumbing" - 57 hits
"Jimmy" and "groin" and "nail polish" - 524 hits
"Brandon League" AND "axe-wielding" - did not match any documents
"Tony Gwynn" AND "fecal" AND "sundae" - 1 hit
"Willie McGee" AND "bizarre sexual practices" - 1 hit
"Millar" AND "fungo bat" AND "grease" - 3 hits
"Braden Looper" AND "fetish" AND "stump" - 7 hits
No, he's just gay and in love with Hitler. What's so wrong with that?
Boy, that doesn't work without my Forum avatar.
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