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Transaction Oracle
— A Timely Look at Transactions as They Happen

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Colorado Rockies - DFAed Finley

Colorado Rockies - Designated OF Steve Finley for assignment.


    Wilhelm Keitel lovingly stroked the F├╝hrer’s toothbrush-moustache as he stared
into his lover’s eyes, dark like drops of the purest obsidian.  “You may be the
Oberkammondo der Werhmacht,” sighed the smitten Field Marshal, “but I’ll
always know you as the Oberkammondo of my heart!”

  Adolf shied away from the cool touch of his dear companion’s hand.  His heart
had not fluttered in this manner since his dearly departed Ernst tragically passed
away a decade before.  But where Ernst was never a physical specimen, the man
in front of him was sculpted and experienced, a true example of Wagnerian legend. 
Here was a man he could embrace without invoking F├╝hrerprinzip!  Finally, Adolf found
the words he so wanted to say to this man.  “Dear Wilhelm, I’d butcher all the Moravians,
just to see you smile.”

That’s how bad a player Steve Finley is now - discussing Naziporn is more palatable than considering Finley’s ability as a baseball player.

 

Dan Szymborski Posted: June 05, 2007 at 07:22 PM | 17 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
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Reader Comments and Retorts

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Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.

   1. Paul M Hates Krispy Kreme Posted: June 05, 2007 at 08:27 PM (#2393931)
There's a phrase I never thought I'd hear (or read) today: "Naziporn".
   2. Dr Love Posted: June 05, 2007 at 08:31 PM (#2393933)
There's a phrase I never thought I'd hear (or read) today: "Naziporn".


Well, it's one way to increase traffic from google searches.
   3. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: June 05, 2007 at 08:32 PM (#2393934)
"Steve Finley" AND "Nazi" AND "porn" reveals 24 hits on google
   4. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: June 05, 2007 at 08:40 PM (#2393939)
If this is it for Steve Finley, he will retire with....

More hits than Heinie Manush, Mickey Vernon, Lloyd Waner, Jim Rice, Mickey Mantle or Ryne Sandberg
More runs than Harry Hooper, Rod Carew, Billy Williams, Roberto Clemente, Joe DiMaggio, Tony Gwynn, or Sam Crawford
More total bases than Harmon Killebrew, Wade Boggs, Rod Carew, Carlton Fisk, Orlando Cepeda or Joe Dimaggio
More doubles than Luke Appling, Roberto Clemente and Billy Williams
More home runs than Rogers Hornsby, Chuck Klein, Rickey Henderson, or Ryne Sandberg
More RBI than Rocky Colavito, Rudy York, Ken Boyer, Tony Gwynn, Joe Morgan or Joe Adcock
And more stolen bases than Hank Aaron OR Babe Ruth!
   5. Zoppity Zoop Posted: June 06, 2007 at 01:42 AM (#2394368)
For anyone who has met Szymborski - is he the weirdest guy on the face of the earth?
   6. Mike Emeigh Posted: June 06, 2007 at 01:45 AM (#2394381)
For anyone who has met Szymborski - is he the weirdest guy on the face of the earth?


Nah. Maybe in the top 5%, though.

-- MWE
   7. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: June 06, 2007 at 02:20 AM (#2394495)
"'Steve Finley' AND 'Nazi' AND 'porn' reveals 24 hits on google"

Of which, the strangest is undoubtedly this one (NSFW).
   8. rr Posted: June 06, 2007 at 02:23 AM (#2394508)
I was kind of hoping for a nice send-off post for Finley, who's really had a hell of a career.

The Naziporn was better.
   9. karkface killah Posted: June 06, 2007 at 03:18 AM (#2394620)
I guess the "he's toast" thing had already been taken.
   10. cardsfanboy Posted: June 06, 2007 at 03:30 AM (#2394645)
Well which teams fans are going to clamor for them to sign him? considering the relative idiocy that has taken over Cardinal fans in the past few years I would wager that there will be dozens of drooling cardinal fans at the prospect of signing this guy. (and then those same guys will bag on the owners when he failed)
   11. J. Michael Neal Posted: June 06, 2007 at 09:06 PM (#2395233)
Not one of TO's better efforts. Still, it's worth the not so successful ones in order to get the ones that work.
   12. Halofan Posted: June 07, 2007 at 07:36 AM (#2395927)
With Shea Hillenbrand about to go on the market, Finley is best of retiring with class...
   13. J. Lowenstein Apathy Club Posted: June 09, 2007 at 06:14 AM (#2398303)
"Steve Finley" AND "Nazi" AND "porn" reveals 24 hits on google

"Mark McGwire" AND "Nazi" AND "porn" - 887 hits
"Pokey Reese" AND "Nazi" AND "porn" - 36 hits
"Tom Brokaw" AND "Nazi" AND "porn" - 11,300 hits
"Ted Williams" AND "Nazi" AND "porn" - 896 hits
"Ted Williams" AND "Nazi" AND "lemonade" - 312 hits
"Karl Rove" AND "Nazi" AND "cerebrospinal fluid" - 30 hits
"Scott Karl" AND "Karl Rove" AND "porn" - did not match any documents
"Rocco Baldelli" AND "sausage" AND "juice" - 52 hits
"Rocco Baldelli" AND "sausage" AND "juice" AND "eruption" - 4 hits
"Gillick" AND "paperclip" AND "removal" - 11 hits
"Derek Jeter" AND "insufferable" - 2,180 hits
"Derek Jeter" AND "the lady doth protest too much" - 32 hits
"Derek Jeter" AND "Hamlet" AND "William Shakespeare" - 569 hits
"Shakespeare" AND "Dustin McGowan" - 43 hits
"cucumber" AND "San Antonio" AND "LaRussa" - 62 hits
"Olmedo Saenz" AND "butter" AND "Marlon Brando" - 1 hit
"Steve Finley" AND "toilet" AND "opera" - 122 hits
"Torre" AND "malformed" - 657 hits
"Torre" AND "malformed" AND "thighs" - 58 hits
"Big Papi" AND "Roosevelt" AND "putty" - 2 hits
"John Gibbons" AND "Rageaholic" - 1 hit
"this is a sinking ship" - 50,500 hits
"massage table" AND "Hernandez" AND "grits" - 29 hits
"Gary Sheffield" AND "uppity" - 304 hits
"Tino Martinez" AND "chocolate pudding" AND "waterbed" - did not match any documents
"Bruney" and "rubber" and "holes" - 195 hits
"Ty Wigginton" AND "plumbing" - 57 hits
"Jimmy" and "groin" and "nail polish" - 524 hits
"Brandon League" AND "axe-wielding" - did not match any documents
"Tony Gwynn" AND "fecal" AND "sundae" - 1 hit
"Willie McGee" AND "bizarre sexual practices" - 1 hit
"Millar" AND "fungo bat" AND "grease" - 3 hits
"Braden Looper" AND "fetish" AND "stump" - 7 hits
   14. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: June 21, 2007 at 03:56 PM (#2411990)
For anyone who has met Szymborski - is he the weirdest guy on the face of the earth?

No, he's just gay and in love with Hitler. What's so wrong with that?
   15. Honkie Kong Posted: June 21, 2007 at 04:03 PM (#2411997)
I can understand loving Hitler, but gay..sheesh. you are offending so many people
   16. TVerik, the gum-snappin' hairdresser Posted: June 21, 2007 at 04:06 PM (#2412004)
*meows suggestively at Szym*

Boy, that doesn't work without my Forum avatar.

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