Page rendered in 0.6867 seconds
41 querie(s) executed
— A Timely Look at Transactions as They Happen
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Cubs - Sentenced their Fans to 24 months of The Neifinator.
Chicago Cubs - For some baffling reason, signed SS Neifi Perez to a 2-year contract for no particular reason.
Mr. Oracle, say it’s not true!
It is. In my role as the chief transactional faith healer, I’ve tried preparing Cubs fans emotionally for this day. As baseball writers don’t get to prescribe anti-depressants, I can only provide palliative benefits to your fragile emotions.
But, it can’t be all bad!
Sure it can.
But, Neifi only got into the lineup because of Nomar’s injury! With Rafael Furcal totally coming onto the team, Neifi will just be a backup!
When I was 4, I also thought people on the television could see me.
Dusty doesn’t have to do a ####### thing.
What about team management? Surely, if they kept him on, there had to have been some limitations set on Dusty?
The Cubs have never cared about his lack of competence before - why would they start now?
Will Ronny Cedeno get playing time at 2nd?
Sure - he’ll get 2 starts against lefties, go 0-for-3 and enjoy his summer in Iowa.
There has to be something I can do, right?
Well, short of lobbying your senator to have all legal immigrants expelled from the country or to have Dusty’s toothpick declared a weapon of mass destruction, there’s not much you can do.
Well, can you make me feel better?
Sure. There are 29 other sets of clothing to root for. If I went to Wendy’s and got a dead rat in my spicy chicken sandwich, I wouldn’t go to Wendy’s anymore. Just because Jim Hendry wants you take a bit of his big #### sandwich doesn’t mean you have to chomp down and enjoy the defecatory goodness.
Thanks, Dan Szumybowhatever, I appreciated it.
That’ll be $65.
You must be logged in to view your Bookmarks.
2012 ZiPS Projections, Final Edition
(23 - 11:21am, May 31)
2012 ZiPS/RBI Baseball
(20 - 10:58am, May 03)
2012 ZiPS Projections Spreadsheets, v. 1
(62 - 4:38pm, Apr 10)
2012 ZiPS Projections - Oakland A's
(69 - 5:57am, Apr 10)
Last: Athletic Supporter was shiny, now he's all rusted
2012 ZiPS Projections - Kansas City Royals
(31 - 1:51pm, Mar 23)
Pirates - Acquire Burnett
(10 - 11:09pm, Feb 20)
Last: You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR)
2012 ZiPS Projections - Pittsburgh Pirates
(41 - 10:02am, Feb 20)
Last: Dangerous Dean
2012 ZiPS Projections - Minnesota Twins
(31 - 8:53pm, Feb 17)
Last: A Random 8-Year-Old Eskimo
2012 ZiPS Projections - Boston Red Sox
(46 - 4:41pm, Feb 17)
Last: Jose is El Absurd Pollo
2012 ZiPS Projections - San Diego Padres
(29 - 2:33pm, Feb 17)
Last: Dan Szymborski
2012 ZiPS Projections - Arizona Diamondbacks
(31 - 2:03am, Feb 14)
Last: Dan Szymborski
2012 ZiPS Projections - Texas Rangers
(21 - 12:43pm, Feb 10)
Last: DEF tells no more lies
2012 ZiPS Projections - Miami Marlins
(31 - 8:16pm, Feb 07)
Last: Misirlou doesn't live in the restaurant
2012 ZiPS Projections - Cleveland Indians
(19 - 10:18pm, Feb 02)
2012 ZiPS Projections - Atlanta Braves
(28 - 6:25pm, Jan 31)
Last: Spahn Insane, stimulus-funded BurlyMan™