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— Where Thinking Red Sox Fans Obsess about the Sox

Friday, March 31, 2017

Musical Interlude

With apologies to The Nails;

Mookie was a superstar
He came through in the bitter end

Dustin was a unique type
He got out what he put in

Chris was the brand new guy
Hitters were afraid of a guy like that.

Hanley’s new position was sitting down
Just like the Papi sat

Pablo was a guy with no aim
And his own gravitational pull

Steven was a knuckle-freak
Pinch running was a misery

Sandy had this special way
Of turning metal into gold

Christian couldn’t hit
But stopped the steal and stopped it strong

Brock was his own type
Moving around caused no flap

Jackie was a goldenglovist
He really had the gift of grab

John’s point of view was this
Win today, tomorrow it might rain

Eduardo was another guy
Making his mark one day at a time

Rick liked to tie hitters up
Leaving them hanging their heads

Andrew had this style
Played like guys twice his age

Blake was a guy who thought he’d go
But finally stayed

Craig was the last one in
He threw and the game had played

David knew no shame
was never ever satisfied.

Marco traveled I-95 so fast
he didn’t even say good-bye.

Xander comes from Aruba
Has ice water in his veins

Tyler’s arm was empty
Filled it up with cortisone

Robby thought the game was simple
Face the lefty, get ‘em out

Mitch was much too slick
He didn’t make no errors
Uh-uh. Not Mitch.

Joe was complicated
But threw 100, always coming in hot

Heath had the perfect look
His hair never stayed straight

Robbie liked to pitch
Sporting a lathered mullet

Hall of Fame Joe was an artist
His deep voice woke us up

Chris always came through
He was always running home

Obie was a modern guy
Clean and smooth

Fernando threw bad pitches
Left games in a crazy kind of urgency

Rafael kept at it
knowing he’d be headed to San Diego

Jerry never left the fold
Played and talked the Boston Red Sox

Big Papi here’s a kiss
I chose you to end this list

Sixty-six lines about thirty-three Red Sox

Jose is an Absurd Doubles Machine Posted: March 31, 2017 at 04:01 PM | 7 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
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Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.

   1. villageidiom Posted: April 01, 2017 at 10:44 AM (#5427064)
100 Therapoints™. This is excellent.
   2. Bad Fish Posted: April 02, 2017 at 06:41 PM (#5427673)
Well, this is wonderfully silly.
   3. SoSHially Unacceptable Posted: April 02, 2017 at 06:50 PM (#5427676)
Nice Jose. I did my own take on The Nails about nine years ago here.
   4. Jose is an Absurd Doubles Machine Posted: April 02, 2017 at 06:59 PM (#5427684)
Oh damn I didn't know that. Wasn't trying to copy (well not you anyway).
   5. SoSHially Unacceptable Posted: April 02, 2017 at 07:13 PM (#5427693)
Wasn't trying to copy (well not you anyway).

If this is anyone other than Marc Campbell, you're stealing my bit.

I wasn't accusing you of copying me. Just noting I'd also gone to The Nails well.
   6. Jose is an Absurd Doubles Machine Posted: April 02, 2017 at 07:50 PM (#5427716)
Oh OK.

I don't think I'm Marc Campbell so you're safe for now Krusty.
   7. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: April 07, 2017 at 09:46 PM (#5431432)
As Jello Biafra, I'm outraged.

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