Jacque Jones has put up a 300/300/450 line versus Derek Lowe in his career (20 ABs), so maybe he can get on track tonight with a line drive or two.

When you are a right fielder and the fact that you carry a .750 OPS against the upcoming pitcher and that's taken as a good sign you pretty much suck.

Prior about ready for simulated games

Awesome. Hopefully he'll rack up some simulated wins for my fantasy simulated baseball team.

Note to all : please resist the obvious "simulated GM" jokes.

Prior about ready for simulated games

I suggest they use Diamond Mind for these simulated games. That's a good way to keep Prior healthy.

Thanks, Craig. Bastard.

Didn't we exhaust all the 'simulated game' jokes the last two seasons?

We have to come up with more as more pitchers have to pitch simulated games.

And I think Prior will do better now as he's pitched enough of them to know where each batter has a hole in his swing.

Who are the all-time leaders in simulated games?

Simulated games are great.

Worst-case scenario, Prior only simulates an arm injury.

Who are the all-time leaders in simulated games?

I don't know, but if Prior or Wood breaks the record, then I think a Dusty-sized asterisk should be put next to their names.

So what are we looking at here - potential early May returns for Prior and Wood, with Miller more of a mid- to late-May?

You have to assume Maddux and Zambrano are really the only ones completely safe in the rotation. That probably puts Rusch to the pen, with Williams, Marshall, and Novoa(?) to Iowa.

Of course, what are the odds that we see 5 straight games this year started by Zambrano, Maddux, Wood, Prior, and Miller (in any order)? I'm giving it 10%.

Who are the all-time leaders in simulated games?

It has to be Jose Rijo... good enough to pitch for a long time, injured often enough to keep a semi-regular spot in the simulated rotation. In fact, I think he qualified for the simulated ERA title several times in the late 90's.

I put up Steve Nebraska-type performances on my simulated games.....

It has to be Jose Rijo... good enough to pitch for a long time, injured often enough to keep a semi-regular spot in the simulated rotation. In fact, I think he qualified for the simulated ERA title several times in the late 90's.

Yes, but who holds the record for most consecutive simulated games? (that is, without being interrupted by a real game)

My guess is Justin Thompson for his Ripken-like streak between 2000 and 2004. On the other hand, Mike Sirotka's streak is technically still going on.

Is Sirotka the only player to receive 75% of his total career salary from a team he never actually played for?

Darren Dreifort anyone?

Gotta love The Onion... (full story at http://www.theonion.com/content/node/47426)

Dusty Baker Not Worried About Cubs' Hot Start

CHICAGO—Despite their impressive 4-2 start and the fact that their pitching and offense appears to be clicking on all cylinders, Cubs manager Dusty Baker said Wednesday that he has "no doubt" that his team will be able to turn things around in time to miss the playoffs.


"I know things look good right now, and you hate to see Cubs fans get encouraged early, but I'm certain that things will straighten themselves out and we'll be in third place by early May," Baker said at a press conference Wednesday. "With the talent and drive we lack, it's foolish to think that this team can continue playing at this rate all year."

Actually the sidebar is even funnier...

Cubs Move Mark Prior to 60-Day DL After Right Arm Falls Off

Cub fans who feared that their superstar pitcher might soon return to propel their team to an eventual playoff berth breathed a sigh of relief Tuesday when, moments after an 800-pitch throwing session to help further strain the ligaments in his right shoulder Mark Prior's arm popped out of its socket and detached completely from his body. The session was described by manager Dusty Baker as a "preventative measure" used to keep the Cubs out of contention by way of damaging his pitcher's arm.

"No one wants to see him get hurt this badly all at once," Baker said. "I want this fragile young phenom to stay injury-prone and help continually ruin our chances of winning for the next 15 years." Prior threw batting practice for the Cubs Wednesday, but had to leave just two batters in after spraining his left elbow.

Doh, this was already posted elsewhere on the site. Sorry for the duplication.