Baseball for the Thinking Fan

Login | Register | Feedback

btf_logo
You are here > Home > Baseball Newsstand > Discussion
Baseball Primer Newsblog
— The Best News Links from the Baseball Newsstand

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

ESPN: Garfamudis: Election ‘08: one man’s ballot

Brannon comes across Art Garfamudis’ late HOF ballot…and not only that, Andrew Sarris has just named Bernard Shakey as one of his Pantheon Directors!

Bert Blyleven: Let me ask you this question: How many people do you think bought a ticket to a baseball game because Bert Blyleven was one of the pitchers? I’m guessing that number is something like 17 over the course of his career. Nobody gave a s—-, least of all me. Memo to Bert: Where’s the 300 wins, buddy? Couldn’t get in the club? I’m voting against him. That’s right, I’m not only not voting for him, I’m voting against him. This way, if anyone is stupid enough to vote for him, my “against” vote will cancel it out.

Don Mattingly: The people who want you to vote for him say he was great before he hurt his back. Well let me tell you something: My cousin used to be a math whiz until he fell out of a pickup truck when he was 12 and hit his head on the curb. He couldn’t count his fingers after that. Did they let him into MIT anyway? No, they did not. End of parable.

Jim Rice: A lot of people are going to tell you he was mundane on the road and this, that and the other thing. Those people are jerks who never saw a baseball game in their lives. Memo to statty-fatties: Reading a cookbook doesn’t make you Julia Child. Rice is a first-ballot guy in my opinion. He should be retroactively inducted on the first ballot. In he goes, 14 years ago.

Repoz Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:00 PM | 78 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: hall of fame, history

Reader Comments and Retorts

Go to end of page

Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.

   1. Avoid Running At All Times- S. Paige Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:21 PM (#2663740)
Memo to statty-fatties: Reading a cookbook doesn’t make you Julia Child.


ohhhh snap!
   2. The importance of being Ernest Riles Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:22 PM (#2663744)
Who is this, Rob Neyer?
   3. HGM Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:24 PM (#2663747)
Does Art Garfamudis actually have a HOF vote? If he does, I hope to God that entire piece was just sarcasm and that we don't actually know his true votes.
   4. Voros McCracken of Pinkus Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:24 PM (#2663748)
That was my question? Who is this?
   5. Dan Szymborski Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:24 PM (#2663750)
I'm still amazed why the BBWAA wonders why we call them dumb.

Most BBWAA voters have a bunker mentality that even the Bush administration would admire.
   6. The importance of being Ernest Riles Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:25 PM (#2663751)
Art Garfamudis actually have a HOF vote?
I don't think ol' Art has a social security card, if you get my drift.
   7. Der Komminsk-sar Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:26 PM (#2663752)
It's page 2 - a joke. He votes for Rod Beck and Shawon Dunston - that isn't enough of a tip off?

Art Garfamudis once wrote about baseball when the regular guy at his newspaper had appendicitis. He did it again several years later during a blizzard that kept the front-line staff stranded in their homes and, finally, a third time, in 1984, when the team beat writer was abruptly fired for stealing quarters from the honor box in the break room. This qualified him for membership in the BBWAA, which he has enjoyed ever since.
   8. Voros McCracken of Pinkus Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:26 PM (#2663754)
I'm assuming this was a sarcastic column by someone real. I just don't know who.
   9. SteveF Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:27 PM (#2663756)
Whoever did it...that was some quality #### right there.
   10. ellsbury my heart at wounded knee Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:28 PM (#2663758)
A quick googling of Art Garfamudis brings up 4 results, all of them basically pointing towards this article.

While I realize this is satire, I think it's close enough to what appears to be what some writers believe as to be frighteningly plausible.
   11. Der Komminsk-sar Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:28 PM (#2663759)
Actually, some of it is pretty funny, like the Concepcion entry.
   12. Cowboy Popup Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:30 PM (#2663762)
Edit: My reading comprehension skills are not all that sharp today.
   13. Avoid Running At All Times- S. Paige Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:30 PM (#2663765)
Man, I should have read the whole thing before posting. Some of its well done parody.
   14. Dan Szymborski Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:31 PM (#2663767)
   15. Honkie Kong Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:31 PM (#2663769)
This has to be Neyer or Law right? Given the blurb at the end. Neyer I think. Seems to way out there for Law
   16. Toolsy McClutch Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:32 PM (#2663771)
Art Garfamudis once wrote about baseball when the regular guy at his newspaper had appendicitis. He did it again several years later during a blizzard that kept the front-line staff stranded in their homes and, finally, a third time, in 1984, when the team beat writer was abruptly fired for stealing quarters from the honor box in the break room. This qualified him for membership in the BBWAA, which he has enjoyed ever since.


I can't believe some people bought this.
   17. The importance of being Ernest Riles Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:32 PM (#2663772)
#7: The part you excerpted is why I thought it was somebody like Rob. Maybe Keith, but this seems like it's more up Rob's alley.
   18. Cowboy Popup Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:35 PM (#2663776)
Harold Baines: I don't trust DHs. I don't like them. I don't care about them. I don't want them living in my world, and I certainly don't favor putting them in the baseball shrine.

My favorite player analysis.
   19. AJMcCringleberry Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:35 PM (#2663777)
I'm still amazed why the BBWAA wonders why we call them dumb.

The fact that people thought this might have been a serious article is probably not a good sign for the BBWAA.
   20. Dash Carlyle Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:35 PM (#2663778)
I know who it is, and it's not Rob or Keith. I'll say no more!
   21. Famous Original Joe C Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:37 PM (#2663780)
I know who it is, and it's not Rob or Keith. I'll say no more!

Caple?
   22. Dash Carlyle Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:38 PM (#2663783)
Caple?

No!
   23. HGM Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:39 PM (#2663785)
Just to clarify, I didn't actually think this was a serious article, once I actually read the full article. But after reading just the blurb by Repoz, you couldn't tell, because that anti-Blyleven argument isn't anything out of the ordinary.
   24. Der Komminsk-sar Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:41 PM (#2663788)
Feels like DJ Gallo. Dark horse guess would be Jonah Keri, though this doesn't feel like his style at all.
   25. Dash Carlyle Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:42 PM (#2663791)
Feels like DJ Gallo. Dark horse guess would be Jonah Keri, though this doesn't feel like his style at all.

Wrong! No more hints!
   26. Dash Carlyle Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:44 PM (#2663795)
I like this bit:

Shawon Dunston: He was a shortstop, right? The Hall needs more shortstops. In he goes.
   27. Der Komminsk-sar Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:45 PM (#2663797)
Well, kudos to the writer, whomever they might be.
   28. Dan Szymborski Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:45 PM (#2663798)
Schoenfield maybe?
   29. AJMcCringleberry Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:46 PM (#2663799)
Brady Anderson: I never have and still don't trust good-looking ballplayers. What's their deal? You can't have it all, buddy. Either be good-looking or a good ballplayer. Choose one. It's not fair to the ugly guys out there who can't play ball. Those guys have nothing going on and people like Anderson make them feel bad about themselves.

Lee Smith: Simple rule of thumb: Anytime you have 400 of anything you're in. Bam! Just like that. Ask yourself this: If Smith hadn't saved all those games, who would have won? His team? Not likely. That's a 400-something-game swing over the course of his career. Whew!


Good stuff.
   30. The District Attorney Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:47 PM (#2663800)
I know who it is, and it's not Rob or Keith. I'll say no more!
Paul Lo Duca?
   31. Lenny Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:47 PM (#2663801)
I'm still amazed why the BBWAA wonders why we call them dumb.

The fact that people thought this might have been a serious article is probably not a good sign for the BBWAA.


Or for the people who thought this was a serious article...
   32. The importance of being Ernest Riles Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:47 PM (#2663802)
I know who it is, and it's not Rob or Keith. I'll say no more!

No!

Wrong! No more hints!

I thought you were going to say no more. Please stop.
   33. David Nieporent (now, with children) Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:48 PM (#2663804)
Just to clarify, I didn't actually think this was a serious article, once I actually read the full article. But after reading just the blurb by Repoz, you couldn't tell, because that anti-Blyleven argument isn't anything out of the ordinary.
The Blyleven and Rice parts were plausible. But the Mattingly one? That should have given it away to everyone.
   34. Cowboy Popup Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:49 PM (#2663807)
Eric Neel.
   35. Art Garfamudis Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:49 PM (#2663808)
What's with the guessing game? If you have questions about my ballot, ask me!
   36. HGM Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:50 PM (#2663809)
Eh, I could see some whackjob making that argument. I mean, technically, it makes sense, although it's a bit overly hyperbolic.
   37. Tony Ling Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:51 PM (#2663814)
Chuck Finley: I never heard him called "Chuck" in all those years he owned the A's. Whatever. He did a lot for the game even though he was crazy off his ass. I also thought owners and such had their own ballots. Did they change the rules on me?


This, to me, was the tipoff. Even a hack like Woody Paige would know the difference between Tawny Kitaen's Chuck Finley and good ol' Charlie O.

At least, I think. I hope.
   38. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:51 PM (#2663815)
Chuck Knoblauch: Now here's a guy who was really good and then he wasn't all of a sudden. What happened? Beats the hell out of me. I might have voted for him just to piss off some people I know who would be pissed off by my voting for him. Then again, I might not have voted for him to spite a whole different group of people. I don't actually recall.

Travis Fryman: Barely remember him -- sorry. You can't know everything in this world and the people who say they do are full of crap.


These are my two faves. Well Done Art!
   39. It's regretful that PASTE was able to get out Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:52 PM (#2663816)
Sounds like David Schoenfeld. I'd guess DJ Gallo, but I don't think he knows that much about baseball and I don't think he wouldn't use his "real name" (or at least "DJ Gallo", if that's a pseudonym itself.)
   40. For the Turnstiles (andeux) Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:53 PM (#2663819)
Tracy Ringolsby?
(And nice intro Repoz)
   41. salvomania Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:55 PM (#2663822)
Seriously, this isn't so far from a lot of the actual BBWAA comments I have read regarding their selection rationale....
   42. It's regretful that PASTE was able to get out Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:56 PM (#2663823)
That's exactly what makes it so funny.
   43. xbhaskarx Posted: January 08, 2008 at 09:57 PM (#2663825)
it's obviously john kruk.
   44. A triple short of the cycle Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:00 PM (#2663829)
The name is Sid Umafragtra spelled backwards... if that helps any.
   45. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:02 PM (#2663831)
Rice is a first-ballot guy in my opinion. He should be retroactively inducted on the first ballot. In he goes, 14 years ago.


well, actually, 25 years ago, Rice WAS a first-ballot Hall-of-Famer

(just axe anyone who was there)
   46. sardonic Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:05 PM (#2663838)
I think an East Coast guy wrote it. A West Coaster probably would have referenced Stanford, Cal or Cal Tech instead of MIT.
   47. Rally Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:06 PM (#2663839)
But the Mattingly one? That should have given it away to everyone.


Nope, most people wouldn't say it like that, but the sentiment is believable, if people gave credit for what might have been except for injury Donnie would be in, same with Tony Oliva, and probably 100 others.

Rice's part was probably written by Gammons.

Funny stuff.
   48.  Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:11 PM (#2663845)
The real question: what is Art Garfamudis an anagram for?
   49. The importance of being Ernest Riles Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:12 PM (#2663848)
   50. flournoy Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:16 PM (#2663859)
Anagram: Art Garfamudis = I am a fraud rtgs

Okay, so I had four extra letters at the end...
   51. CFBF's Results are Certified Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:20 PM (#2663867)
Honestly, a couple of the entries read like Stephen Colbert's schtick.
   52. lincarnate Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:23 PM (#2663870)
If they weren't so hated by ESPN, I'd guess one of the Deadspin editors was the writer.
   53. Francoeur Sans Gages (AlouGoodbye) Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:35 PM (#2663881)
U fart diagrams is my favourite.
   54. Every Inge Counts Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:38 PM (#2663883)
Alan Trammell even gets screwed in satirical articles about Hall of Fame votes.....
   55. Biff, highly-regarded young guy Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:39 PM (#2663884)
See, I don't think this was funny at all.
   56. EvilBoWeevil Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:45 PM (#2663890)
The sad part is this probably how some sport writers do thier voting. How else can you expalin Tim Raines only getting 24.3% of the vote.

By the way I am glad the Goose is in, but what did he do over the last couple of years to get in? Did he come out of retirment to lead a team to a World Series? Did he cure Steve Blass Disease? Did he have all the urine he saved up from his playing career tested clean?

He did nothing, and should have gone int he first year he was eligiable.
   57. the cap of ray rayner Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:48 PM (#2663894)
Andrew Sarris, this note's for you!
   58. More Dewey is Always Good Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:54 PM (#2663896)
By the way I am glad the Goose is in, but what did he do over the last couple of years to get in?

He didn't do anything. The writers realised that they screwed-up big time by electing Sutter and not him.
   59. philevans3154 Posted: January 08, 2008 at 10:56 PM (#2663899)
The real question: what is Art Garfamudis an anagram for?

j'accuse, Maria Fag Turds!!!
   60. Craig Calcaterra Posted: January 08, 2008 at 11:02 PM (#2663904)
He sounds like descendent of Scribbly Tate, so my guess is Rob.
   61. Craig Calcaterra Posted: January 08, 2008 at 11:05 PM (#2663906)
Someone above said Jonah Keri. Seeing as though he's now writing for Deadspin, I'm guesing ESPN wouldn't let him withing 5 miles of Bristol.
   62. Dash Carlyle Posted: January 08, 2008 at 11:13 PM (#2663914)
In 2000, I had lunch with Rob AND Scribbly Tate, and can confirm that they are different people.
   63. sardonic Posted: January 08, 2008 at 11:17 PM (#2663918)
What's the story behind the Deadspin ESPN feud?
   64. CoastalFan Posted: January 08, 2008 at 11:18 PM (#2663920)
THAT was freakin' awesome! I am on my way outthe door to make me some "I'm A Statty - Fatty" t-Shirts that say "Who the heck is Julia Child?" on the back...Sweet article...
   65. alilisd Posted: January 08, 2008 at 11:23 PM (#2663922)
58: While I'm generally of the opinion the writers/voters screw up all too often, I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt on guys like Gossage. I really think, most of them at least, they are trying to sort out where and how relievers fit into the Hall of Fame. I don't really agree with them on Sutter, but he's arguable at least, and they got Gossage right now, imo, so I'm going to cut them some slack on taking so long to figure it out. ymmv.
   66. haven Posted: January 08, 2008 at 11:37 PM (#2663930)
Let me ask you this question: How many people do you think bought a ticket to a baseball game because Bert Blyleven was one of the pitchers? I’m guessing that number is something like 17 over the course of his career. Nobody gave a s---

This could be my claim to fame. I was 1 of the 17 people that bought a ticket specifically to see Blyleven. Me and my college roomate, a boyhood friend and fellow Pirates fan, drove from State College, PA to watch Blyleven beat the Orioles in Memorial Stadium in September of '81. The only AL game I ever attended live and it was just to see an ex-Bucco.

The real question: what is Art Garfamudis an anagram for?

I thought it was some sort of play on Art Garfunkel. Too simple an explanation?
   67. Maury Brown Posted: January 08, 2008 at 11:56 PM (#2663938)
The Dave Parker entry gets my vote. Priceless.
   68. lincarnate Posted: January 09, 2008 at 12:01 AM (#2663939)
What's the story behind the Deadspin ESPN feud?

In addition to constantly making fun of ESPN's personalities, Deadspin has reported on many of the... indiscretions... of the worldwide leaders' hosts. Just Google "You're with me, leather" for one of many examples.
   69. Crispix Attacksel Rios Posted: January 09, 2008 at 12:18 AM (#2663942)
Let me ask you this question: How many people do you think bought a ticket to a baseball game because Bert Blyleven was one of the pitchers?

It's not all about razzle-dazzle. Anybody who's been a one-of-a-kind major-league starter for 10 years is likely to inspire interest from the fans when he comes to town, for the same reason people want to see what the fuss is all about when some traveling exhibit appears at the local museum. I made a special point of seeing starts by Jamie Moyer and Orlando Hernandez this year. Hall of Famers? Well, that's not for me to decide.
   70. Astro Logical Sign Stealer Posted: January 09, 2008 at 12:24 AM (#2663950)
I'd love to know how many actual HOF voters (whatever their rationale) were within a few players of making all the same calls as "Art."

I'm afraid it's a sizeable percentage.
   71. Dash Carlyle Posted: January 09, 2008 at 12:24 AM (#2663951)
Hall of Famers? Well, that's not for me to decide.

Damn right. You need one of THESE [holds BBWAA badge up to face] to vote for the Hall. One of THESE! Gotta have one of THESE!
   72. scareduck Posted: January 09, 2008 at 12:31 AM (#2663954)
49: "Radium fart sag" is certainly my favorite.
   73. SoSHially Unacceptable Posted: January 09, 2008 at 01:01 AM (#2663965)
Schoenfield maybe?


Why, did SJ write something like this first?
   74. Der Komminsk-sar Posted: January 09, 2008 at 01:01 AM (#2663966)
I didn't know Jonah wrote for Deadspin now ... too bad (well, he might disagree).
   75. Craig Calcaterra Posted: January 09, 2008 at 02:38 AM (#2664032)
I didn't know Jonah wrote for Deadspin now ... too bad (well, he might disagree)


It's a limited gig; he does the daily rundown of last night's college basketball action ("the College Basketball Closer"). Just started last week. It's OK so far, but as is the case with all things Deadspin, a little goes a long way.
   76. Bobby Swift Posted: January 09, 2008 at 03:33 AM (#2664068)
It's page 2 - a joke. He votes for Rod Beck and Shawon Dunston - that isn't enough of a tip off?
Two people voted for Rod Beck and one person voted for Shawon Dunston. Seriously.
   77. Alex_Lewis Posted: January 09, 2008 at 04:21 PM (#2664394)
72: That may strike you as funny but my grandfather died from radium fart sag.
   78. Craig Calcaterra Posted: January 09, 2008 at 04:36 PM (#2664412)
my grandfather died from radium fart sag.


And the sad thing is that it is so preventable.

You must be Registered and Logged In to post comments.

 

 

<< Back to main

BBTF Partner

Dynasty League Baseball

Support BBTF

donate

Thanks to
The Piehole of David Wells
for his generous support.

You must be logged in to view your Bookmarks.

Hot Topics

NewsblogOT - August/September 2021 College Football thread
(205 - 4:21pm, Sep 25)
Last: Brian C

NewsblogThe 3,000 Hit Club Is Closed for Maintenance
(32 - 3:54pm, Sep 25)
Last: DL from MN

NewsblogOT Soccer Thread - Transfer! Kits! Other Stuff!
(287 - 3:33pm, Sep 25)
Last: Fancy Pants Handle struck out swinging

NewsblogNBA 2021 Playoffs+ thread
(4599 - 2:50pm, Sep 25)
Last: Mellow Mouse, Benevolent Space Tyrant

NewsblogAtlanta Braves' Adam Duvall has home run nixed after baserunning gaffe
(16 - 2:35pm, Sep 25)
Last: Ron J

Newsblog14 wins in a row! Cards tie 1935 club record
(4 - 2:28pm, Sep 25)
Last: Starring Bradley Scotchman as RMc

NewsblogChicago Cubs plan to be 'really active" in MLB free agency, says team president Jed Hoyer
(7 - 2:04pm, Sep 25)
Last: CFBF's Results are Certified

NewsblogArizona Diamondbacks give manager Torey Lovullo one-year extension despite 104-loss season
(6 - 1:45pm, Sep 25)
Last: Jack Sommers

NewsblogEmpty Stadium Sports Will Be Really Weird
(14171 - 1:23pm, Sep 25)
Last: Mayor Blomberg

Hall of Merit2022 Hall of Merit Ballot Discussion
(183 - 1:23pm, Sep 25)
Last: kcgard2

NewsblogFormer MLB pitcher Cloyd Boyer dies
(3 - 1:05pm, Sep 25)
Last: The Duke

NewsblogCarlos Gomez Officially Announces Retirement
(3 - 1:04pm, Sep 25)
Last: The Duke

NewsblogVaxed, waxed, and ready for the WEEKEND OMNICHATTER!, for September 24-26, 2021
(68 - 3:04am, Sep 25)
Last: Walt Davis

NewsblogWEEKDAY OMNICHATTER wants you to believe in yourself, for September 20, 2021
(110 - 12:43am, Sep 25)
Last: sunday silence (again)

NewsblogThey could be ROY vote-getters -- again
(9 - 11:45pm, Sep 24)
Last: SoSH U at work

Page rendered in 0.5091 seconds
48 querie(s) executed