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Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Former Blue Jays, Indians pitcher T.J. House comes out as gay

Former Toronto Blue Jays and Cleveland Indians pitcher T.J. House came out as gay last week in an emotional message posted to his personal Facebook account that also announced his engagement to parter Ryan Neitzel.

House, who spent parts of four seasons in the majors, detailed his struggles as a closeted gay man and how he used his profession as a mask of sorts.

“I’ve struggled my entire life with being comfortable in my own skin,” House wrote. “I have purposefully distanced myself from people for the sake of trying to protect myself. It’s disheartening how one simple thing can change an individual’s opinion of you in a matter of seconds. It has taken me years to wake up every morning and tell myself that you are loved for you, the one that’s deep down inside that you’ve never truly let out.

“I’ve been loved my whole life for what I did as a career, and it carried me for the longest time. Eventually though, it’s a bandage that covers a wound that needs fresh air to heal. You have to rip it off at some point if you truly want to get better. Shame has kept me quiet all these years, but love has finally set me free.

RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: December 13, 2022 at 12:29 AM | 31 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: gay players

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   1. a brief article regarding 57i66135 Posted: December 14, 2022 at 07:49 PM (#6109560)
RDP has won. i hope you're all as happy as he is.
   2. Steve Parris, Je t'aime Posted: December 14, 2022 at 08:46 PM (#6109568)
Never saw him come out of the closet.
   3. NaOH Posted: December 14, 2022 at 09:08 PM (#6109570)
Looks like a good coming out to me. Not a great one. Virtually every homosexual could have made it. And would have, had they managed to spend years in the clumsy manner that he did and then happened to find himself again in the gift of the year.

His momentum was carrying him away from men, which I guess is why people were fooled into thinking this was a special announcement. I see nothing remarkable about it.
   4. Tony S Posted: December 14, 2022 at 09:31 PM (#6109572)
The comments on the Yahoo story are revealing. There are a lot of posters who say there's nothing newsworthy here and why must we talk about this. Of course, they all clicked on the story and went out of their way to comment on it.

Once terrorist attacks stop on LGBT people and venues, then it probably won't be a big deal. As of now, it still is.

   5. dirk Posted: December 14, 2022 at 09:44 PM (#6109575)
always thought he was hot
   6. cHiEf iMpaCt oFfiCEr JE Posted: December 14, 2022 at 09:51 PM (#6109576)
The comments on the Yahoo story are revealing. There are a lot of posters who say there's nothing newsworthy here and why must we talk about this. Of course, they all clicked on the story and went out of their way to comment on it.
Some of us are old enough to remember when shrugging over an individual coming out as gay was a good thing.
   7. a brief article regarding 57i66135 Posted: December 14, 2022 at 10:32 PM (#6109580)
Some of us are old enough to remember when shrugging over an individual coming out as gay was a good thing.
posting = caring.
   8. a brief article regarding 57i66135 Posted: December 14, 2022 at 10:36 PM (#6109581)
fwiw, [1] wasn't a shot at RDP.

the fact that this thread got 0 replies in the first 36 hours after it was posted is exactly the shoulder shrug that RDP (and now [6] is taking up that mantle, i guess) always wanted.
   9. cHiEf iMpaCt oFfiCEr JE Posted: December 14, 2022 at 10:48 PM (#6109582)
posting = caring.
Who? Who will not wear the ribbon?
   10. a brief article regarding 57i66135 Posted: December 14, 2022 at 11:14 PM (#6109583)
Who? Who will not wear the ribbon?
this guy. this was the ####### guy who did not wear the ####### ribbon.

isn't it funny how quickly subtext can become text.
   11. Infinite Yost (Voxter) Posted: December 15, 2022 at 08:58 AM (#6109591)
I always wonder if guys like House have anybody they could confide in, in their professional lives. A sports locker room -- especially a baseball one -- is not the most welcoming environment for a person who isn't straight, I can tell you from experience. I wouldn't be surprised if it was one of the last places in America where you can still hear straight people toss around the f-slur.
   12. Is Zonk Vermin within the Confines? Posted: December 15, 2022 at 11:27 AM (#6109607)
As always in a situation like this, it is important that we remember who the real victims are: The people who don’t care but found their niche in life by discovering an ingenious way to retain capabilities to bash the same people they always bashed anyway without sounding too cozy with the the thinking of people whose teats they must suckle for a variety of reasons.

Until we all recognize the struggles of those who walk among us without principle or spine….
   13. Der-K's no Kliph Nesteroff. Posted: December 15, 2022 at 11:29 AM (#6109609)
I've only known one closeted high level athlete -- and the limited peek I got into their life as an athlete made me "get it" as to why they remained so. (And remain closeted - they're currently a college coach.)
Congrats to Mr. House on coming out and on his impending nuptials.
   14. . . . . . . Posted: December 15, 2022 at 11:50 AM (#6109615)
I wouldn't be surprised if it was one of the last places in America where you can still hear straight people toss around the f-slur.


I think you would be deeply disappointed in what you hear in environments where the men are confident that there are no f---s in the room. I'm generally appalled at what I hear, and I'm about as far from woke as you can get without slipping into a coma.

As I tell my wife: assume that nothing is changed in the workplace, it just moved behind closed doors. Which is probably a good thing, because better than out in the open.
   15. Tony S Posted: December 15, 2022 at 12:02 PM (#6109617)
I am Hispanic, but I am white, my surname sounds Italian to the non-romance speaker, and I speak English like a midwesterner. The stuff I hear around me sometimes...

And it goes double for attitudes towards gay people. Bigots haven't changed; they just save it for their safe spaces.
   16. Der-K's no Kliph Nesteroff. Posted: December 15, 2022 at 12:13 PM (#6109618)
Right. I think a difference I see is that the number of safe spaces for that kind of talk has decreased, though that's so much a function of where you are and how you present that I tend to distrust my own observations in favor of research studies.
(Like, the last time I heard that kind of talk where I live was at a bar a few years ago, where a Qanon type starts spouting stuff and everyone around him, regardless of political feelings, shouted him down until he left. Conversely, my brother who lives 20 miles from me (I in an upper middle class suburb, work with data; him in a lower middle class exurb, works construction) hears it constantly.)
   17. Srul Itza Posted: December 15, 2022 at 12:54 PM (#6109619)
Bigots haven't changed; they just save it for their safe spaces


Like Mar-A-Lago
   18. You can keep your massive haul Posted: December 15, 2022 at 02:39 PM (#6109629)
I play on a 35+ Sunday wood bat league and our starting SS is gay. Most of us know but don't go around telling every new guy that plays on the team. Last season a couple testosterone filled D Bags started making tons of anti gay jokes and talking about women like they were objects etc. After the last game of the season the SS texted the group text and said he didn't want to play anymore. Most of us supported him and want to D Bags off the team. Not sure if I will be playing next year after playing on the team for 5+ years.
   19. The Gary DiSarcina Fan Club (JAHV) Posted: December 15, 2022 at 02:55 PM (#6109635)
I can tell you that language still goes on among kids as well - generally the "f--" slur (in English or its Spanish equivalent) or "gay" being used as a pejorative. If I hear it from any of the kids whom I coach, I tell them immediately that it's not going to be tolerated and why.
   20. My name is Votto, and I love to get Moppo Posted: December 15, 2022 at 04:03 PM (#6109647)
this guy. this was the ####### guy who did not wear the ####### ribbon.


Somehow I'd never seen this video although of course I was aware of the incident. Damn, that's bad.
   21. base ball chick Posted: December 15, 2022 at 04:10 PM (#6109649)
i really REALLY do not get some peoples problems with gay people. you just CAN'T make someone who is not gay into someone who is gay. like there is no woman on this planet who could make me sexually attracted to her.

to me being gay is like being a lefty, which i am. or ambidextrous, like #2 son. Some people just are. and that's that. having to come out as not straight needs to just fade away.

i got gay friends/relatives. i got trouble with people who got trouble with them because they are not straight



   22. ERROR---Jolly Old St. Nick Posted: December 15, 2022 at 08:07 PM (#6109659)
I've been playing pool every week in a pool room that's 95%+ working class, and I've yet to hear any sort of nasty language directed at any out-groups. Maybe that's because the demographic mix there is so mixed up that nobody could use language like that without being instantly confronted, but maybe it's just because normal people like the players out there don't GAF about extraneous #### like race or gender identity. Whether they're gay or straight, they don't talk about it, because they come out there to play pool, not to talk about their ####### sex lives.
   23. Infinite Yost (Voxter) Posted: December 15, 2022 at 08:25 PM (#6109662)
Try being in that room when someone asks you about your girlfriend, and the honest answer is, "She's a he and you're probably related to him."

Feels a little different.
   24. ERROR---Jolly Old St. Nick Posted: December 15, 2022 at 09:01 PM (#6109669)
Hard to say for sure, but on the women's pro tour a sizable percentage of the players are open lesbians, and I've never heard a single negative comment about any of them.** Of course that may be simply because their playing ability and their general likability stops any sort of BS before it begins.

** Or about the many non-White foreign players, who come from all over Asia, Africa and the Mideast. 25 or 30 years ago there was a certain amount of resentment that the Filipinos were "taking over 'our' game", but now that practically every country in the world is represented at the top level, the respect for the talent reigns supreme.
   25. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: December 16, 2022 at 11:35 AM (#6109722)
I play on a 35+ Sunday wood bat league and our starting SS is gay. Most of us know but don't go around telling every new guy that plays on the team. Last season a couple testosterone filled D Bags started making tons of anti gay jokes and talking about women like they were objects etc. After the last game of the season the SS texted the group text and said he didn't want to play anymore. Most of us supported him and want to D Bags off the team. Not sure if I will be playing next year after playing on the team for 5+ years.

I'm not looking to call you out here, but why didn't anyone say anything to these D bags at the time? I can kind of understand a bunch of 20-year-olds not wanting to rock the boat in a pro locker room (this is their livelihood), but a bunch of 35+ dudes in a recreational league and nobody spoke up?
   26. You can keep your massive haul Posted: December 16, 2022 at 12:51 PM (#6109737)
#25

I felt bad about it after the fact, no excuses we should have stopped it. Also I don't really hang out with them outside of playing the games (don't really practice).

The weird thing is we were all on the same group chat and it got progressively worse as the season wore on and then blew up in the playoffs when the ump called obstruction on the catcher and he absolutely lost it in an uncomfortable way. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. The umpire is actually James McCann's dad so he probably knows a thing or two about baseball.
   27. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: December 16, 2022 at 04:42 PM (#6109786)
Thanks for the honest response.

I live in Chelsea and before that I lived around the corner from the Stonewall Inn, so I don't think I've heard an anti-gay comment in like 15 years. I'd like to think I would say something in a similar situation, but I guess you don't know until you're confronted with it.
   28. reech Posted: December 16, 2022 at 05:14 PM (#6109789)
If I am correct, I think the demographic of this site is over 35 years old.
I don't think the younger gen (gen z or even millennials) have the same stigmas regarding LGBT or race that we older folks absorbed growing up. I think that would hold for athletes as well.
   29. Howie Menckel Posted: December 16, 2022 at 05:38 PM (#6109792)
a few months ago, I finished up work early on a Friday, so I ventured out to a local restaurant at maybe 3-4 pm. the bar was pretty quiet, as you can imagine.

I was interested in whatever the golf tournament d'week was, so I asked the bartender if they could put the Golf Channel on one of the TVs.

there were no other live sports going, but he put it on on a small TV to my immediate left. ok, whatever.

am watching intermittently for about a half hour. middle-aged guy comes in and takes up the stool just below "my" TV.

after I glance up at the TV a few times, this dude goes off - asks me if "I'm a f---ing f-gg-t or something" and "why are you staring at me, it must be that!"

it was stunning. surreal, as in "what year is this and where am I, anyway?" I live in the most diverse state in the country.

I stayed calm, pointed to the TV above him, then noted that I was looking at the TV, not him.

only 4 or 5 people heard this guy, but everyone was totally rattled/discombobulated. manager comes over, and I explain the situation (as it happens, I'm so old that I literally had a printout of the standings of my weekly golf pool right in front of me - and which 4 players each rival had chosen for this tournament).

manager immediately puts the Golf Channel on the TV straight across from me, eliminating my need to "ogle" this loser to my left. or whatever. even so, this guy later muttered the "f word" again under his breath.

I probably should have exited immediately. the manager definitely should have ejected the guy immediately. maybe somebody should have called the cops.

when I was ready to leave, I asked the same manager (who is black, although I can't see how that is relevant) to escort me to my car in case this imbecile wanted to go after me. I quietly mentioned that he had repeated the offending word after his intervention, and the manager said, "I was looking for a reason to throw this guy out anyway."

relevant to Post 25, nobody "got it right" because no one could believe what happened.

yes, that post refers to repeated offenses so less excuse. but it could just be if you get it wrong the first time - not calling these imbeciles out - then you might well keep compounding the error.

I had just gotten my food, but still I should have just asked for them to wrap it up and exited right after I paid the check. but I guess I thought that might antagonize the guy, or something.

one of the many weird parts of this whole episode is that a sane person might reasonably ask, in this circumstance, "um, is there a reason you keep looking in my direction?"

and I'd explain, and he'd be a little embarrassed, and I'd say no worries, I'd ask them to put the golf on a different TV, and that's the end of it. but this guy just seemed angry at the world, and he we was looking to lash out at somebody.

scary how many ticking time bombs like him are out there.

   30. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: December 16, 2022 at 10:55 PM (#6109830)
I think it's different when it's a one-time thing where you're caught off-guard, as you said. Also, with a stranger in this country you never know if they're armed. I wouldn't necessarily have handled it any differently than you did.

A different type of situation, but earlier this year a guy at my gym started berating an Asian woman for swimming too slowly in the fast lane of the pool. She shouldn't have been in the fast lane but, similar to your story, the reasonable thing to do would be to nicely suggest she switch to a different lane. Not completely fly off the handle.

While he didn't make any racist comments, this came at a time when there had just been a number of attacks on Asian women, and I'm sure that was going through her mind. I was so shocked by the situation that before I thought to do anything, gym staff had already intervened. (I did, however, tell the woman afterwards that I thought the gym had mishandled the situation and that if she wanted to file a complaint I would corroborate her side of the story. They should have banned him and done more for the woman afterwards. She was really shaken up.)
   31. You can keep your massive haul Posted: December 17, 2022 at 12:49 AM (#6109837)
#25 again

Actually thinking about it more it was more misogynistic stuff most of the time rather than anti-gay for the most part which doesn't make it any better.

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