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Thursday, February 27, 2020

Getting the Marlins to 94 Wins

My girlfriend is a Marlins fan…sort of. She doesn’t really follow baseball, but she’s from Miami and has a custom Marlins jersey, so the trappings are there at least. And she knows I love baseball, so she calls herself the “Beisbol Girl in Training,” BBGIT for short.

I mention her because not long ago I was fumbling around for a Valentine’s gift, hopelessly looking for something original and special and affordable to no avail. And then, in my darkest hour, the Cupid of FanGraphs floated down to shoot me with an arrow of inspiration: Ben Clemens published his piece, Let’s Get the Rockies to 94 Wins.

That’s it! That’s the gift! Screw 94 wins, let’s just get the Marlins into the playoffs! That shouldn’t be too hard. I mean how bad could they really be? And no one signs free agents until spring training anymore, right? Right?

Okay, apparently teams decided to sign free agents this time around. And the Marlins are really quite terrible. But the lengths we’ll go to for love, I guess.

Pardon me- there are flying pigs around, and I’m worried one will land on me…...


QLE Posted: February 27, 2020 at 01:32 AM | 9 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: marlins baseball – helping other teams get better since 1998, wild card

Reader Comments and Retorts

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   1. Due to the leadership of Zonk... Posted: February 27, 2020 at 08:50 AM (#5926723)
Add 2019 win total to 2020 win total... wait till September. Done!
   2. sotapop Posted: February 27, 2020 at 09:58 AM (#5926750)
Before we all pile on, let me say you have to read this to the end. It starts off reasonable and gets progressively more insane, as is appropriate for any piece about love.
   3. Nasty Nate Posted: February 27, 2020 at 11:05 AM (#5926771)
Interpolate like you've never interpolated before
   4. Pat Rapper's Delight (as quoted on MLB Network) Posted: February 27, 2020 at 12:40 PM (#5926815)
This thread is worthless without pictures.
   5. Ron J Posted: February 27, 2020 at 12:50 PM (#5926821)
My first though was that prime Walter Johnson and Babe Ruth would likely be enough. I assume mad scientists are cheaper than free agent eligible players so …

   6. Due to the leadership of Zonk... Posted: February 27, 2020 at 01:02 PM (#5926827)
This thread is worthless without pictures.

Not sure I can cite the exact rule... but I suspect using a Vanessa Angel equivalent as Woody Harrelson/Randy Quaid did in Kingpin violates some kind of rule.
   7. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: February 27, 2020 at 01:06 PM (#5926830)
she calls herself the “Beisbol Girl in Training,” BBGIT for short.
She aspires to be BBC...Lisa, you interested in taking on an intern?
   8. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: February 27, 2020 at 01:43 PM (#5926837)
Getting the Marlins to 94 Wins

The 300-game season is an idea whose time has come.
   9. Itchy Row Posted: February 27, 2020 at 02:12 PM (#5926843)
They won 51 games in '94. They have a chance of matching their '94 wins.

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