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Monday, November 28, 2011

Granillo: A new Bobby Valentine story

I can see Roger Corman getting behind a St. Valentine’s Day Assmacre flick.

But my favorite story about Bobby Valentine may well be a new one told this weekend by Ken Levine. Levine is an ex-broadcaster for the Orioles, Mariners, and Padres, having partnered with the likes of Jon Miller and Dave Niehaus in his time in the booth. He is also a very accomplished television and film writer. His movie credits include the film Volunteeres, and he has worked in a major way on some of television’s biggest shows, including M*A*S*H*, Cheers, and Frasier. Levine also wrote the famous Simpsons episode “Dancin’ Homer”.

On his excellent blog this weekend, Levine was giving hints to would-be writers on how not to pitch a story to writers and executives. Mid-way through the post, this story about Bobby Valentine pops up:

  When I was announcing for the Orioles I once got thrown out of Bobby Valentine’s office for asking tough questions. He was then the manager of the Texas Rangers. Fifteen minutes later I was summoned back, obviously to receive an apology. No. He had heard I was a writer and pitched me a movie. Try not to be an ####### first.

Is there a more perfect Bobby Valentine story than that? Thanks for sharing that, Ken. Just terrific.

I don’t know if Valentine is the right fit for the Red Sox in 2012, but I absolutely hope that they hire him. He makes Major League Baseball a more interesting place everyday he’s around.

Repoz Posted: November 28, 2011 at 06:07 PM | 29 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: history, media, rangers

Reader Comments and Retorts

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   1. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: November 28, 2011 at 06:33 PM (#4002338)
Levine is an ex-broadcaster for the Orioles, Mariners, and Padres, having partnered with the likes of Jon Miller and Dave Niehaus in his time in the booth. He is also a very accomplished television and film writer. His movie credits include the film Volunteeres, and he has worked in a major way on some of television’s biggest shows, including M*A*S*H*, Cheers, and Frasier. Levine also wrote the famous Simpsons episode “Dancin’ Homer”.


Wow, that's kind of an interesting story right there. Volunteers is kind of an underrated Tom Hanks comedy IMO and the Dancin' Homer episode is brilliant.
   2. Shooty would run in but these bone spurs hurt! Posted: November 28, 2011 at 06:43 PM (#4002348)
I wonder what the movie was about? I bet it was a Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicle.
   3. Textbook Editor Posted: November 28, 2011 at 06:55 PM (#4002367)
Ken Levine's Blog is actually quite good reading.
   4. Steve Treder Posted: November 28, 2011 at 07:01 PM (#4002375)
When I was announcing for the Orioles I once got thrown out of Bobby Valentine’s office for asking tough questions. He was then the manager of the Texas Rangers. Fifteen minutes later I was summoned back, obviously to receive an apology. No. He had heard I was a writer and pitched me a movie. Try not to be an ####### first.


That is flipping hilarious.
   5. PreservedFish Posted: November 28, 2011 at 07:28 PM (#4002411)
This is a good story.
   6. Dale Sams Posted: November 28, 2011 at 08:03 PM (#4002442)
Wow, that's kind of an interesting story right there. Volunteers is kind of an underrated Tom Hanks comedy IMO and the Dancin' Homer episode is brilliant.


"My God..we must be a mile from the sun."
   7. SoSH U at work Posted: November 28, 2011 at 08:10 PM (#4002449)
"My God..we must be a mile from the sun."


There are few movie lines I've repeated as often as that one.
   8. Matthew E Posted: November 28, 2011 at 08:17 PM (#4002454)
He had heard I was a writer and pitched me a movie.


"...so then, the old lady says, 'I don't have a daughter. My daughter died fifteen years ago!'"
   9. charityslave is thinking about baseball Posted: November 28, 2011 at 08:41 PM (#4002466)
He had heard I was a writer and pitched me a movie


"...so then, the old lady says, "Yeah, stud, I ordered that pizza. And you look like you could use a massage..."
   10. Cris E Posted: November 28, 2011 at 09:40 PM (#4002499)
I don’t know if Valentine is the right fit for the Red Sox in 2012, but I absolutely hope that they hire him.

That kind of line never comes from a fan of whatever team might be doing said hiring. I too would like to see the shape, size and color of fireball that a Boston hiring would end in, but I'm not a Boston fan either. Are there any Red Sox fans out there that would like to see The Smartest Man In Bobby Valentine's Office manage them in 2102?

EDIT: How about 2012? Anyone want to see him next year?
   11. SoSH U at work Posted: November 28, 2011 at 09:51 PM (#4002506)
Anyone want to see him next year?


Darren and Mikael were both generally positive toward a Valentine hire, and others have expressed acceptance. I've probably been the most vocal anti-Bobby Sox fan here.
   12. Lassus Posted: November 28, 2011 at 10:01 PM (#4002509)
That kind of line never comes from a fan of whatever team might be doing said hiring.

I'd say it in a heartbeat about Valentine and the Mets.
   13. Swedish Chef Posted: November 28, 2011 at 10:12 PM (#4002515)
I wonder what the movie was about? I bet it was a Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicle.

I don't see Van Damme as a viable candidate to play a tough but sensitive baseball manager that overcomes adversity to win it all, repairing his marriage and learning a valuable lesson in the process. Dolph Lundgren on the other hand...
   14. The Long Arm of Rudy Law Posted: November 28, 2011 at 10:21 PM (#4002519)
The movie was Citizen Kane, as told from Tommy Lasorda's point of view.
   15. Jose Is An Absurd Balladeer Posted: November 28, 2011 at 10:29 PM (#4002521)
That kind of line never comes from a fan of whatever team might be doing said hiring. I too would like to see the shape, size and color of fireball that a Boston hiring would end in, but I'm not a Boston fan either. Are there any Red Sox fans out there that would like to see The Smartest Man In Bobby Valentine's Office manage them in 2102?


I'm not a fan of his hiring but I was probably as big a Francona fan as there was around here. I would much rather Bobby to Gene LaMont but I'd prefer a guy like Lovello/Alomar.

One thing that doesn't seem to be in doubt is his tactical ability and obviously he has experience at dealing with a high intensity media/fanbase. I think the worst case is he loses the clubhouse pretty quickly and the Sox go back to a Francona model. There is a part of me that thinks a guy on a short term like Valentine presumably would be makes sense. You're following a guy who ultimately was popular in pretty much all corners (players, management, fans, media) so the new guy is going to be held to a pretty high standard that Tito set. If he succeeds, great, if he fails, you set things up for whoever follows to be well received.
   16. Leroy Kincaid Posted: November 28, 2011 at 10:41 PM (#4002528)
Why would an announcer be asking "tough questions"? Who is he, Stuttering John?
   17. RJ in TO Posted: November 28, 2011 at 11:17 PM (#4002542)
Dolph Lundgren on the other hand...

Based on this clip, he can definitely do tough and sensitive.
   18. PreservedFish Posted: November 28, 2011 at 11:34 PM (#4002548)
Has anyone seen The Zen of Bobby V?
   19. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: November 28, 2011 at 11:57 PM (#4002557)
I saw parts of it. I love the part where he is on the streets of Tokyo passing out tickets.
   20. scotto Posted: November 29, 2011 at 12:36 AM (#4002571)
obviously he has experience at dealing with a high intensity media/fanbase.

I wish I could remember where I read it, but at least one columnist made reference to his lackluster media performance while in Boston for an interview. So I'm not entirely sure that this holds up.

Edit: I guess it's indisputable that he has the experience, the question is whether he's good at it.
   21. . . . . . . Posted: November 29, 2011 at 01:35 AM (#4002588)
... and that's how it ends." Bobby smiled. My face was twisted with disgust.
"Jesus, Bobby, what are you planning to call this movie?"
"The Aristocrats!"
   22. Bote Man Posted: November 29, 2011 at 03:50 AM (#4002653)
Why would an announcer be asking "tough questions"? Who is he, Stuttering John?

It's been a while since I've heard Ken Levine on the radio, but as I recall he has a voice made for silent movies.
   23. Austin Kearns: The Spy Who Shagged Flies Posted: November 29, 2011 at 02:54 PM (#4002806)
The movie was Citizen Kane, as told from Tommy Lasorda's point of view.


Rosebud was a pierogi!
   24. ...and Toronto selects: Troy Tulowitzki Posted: November 29, 2011 at 03:59 PM (#4002860)
Darren and Mikael were both generally positive toward a Valentine hire, and others have expressed acceptance. I've probably been the most vocal anti-Bobby Sox fan here.

But what does Kevin think?
   25. Nasty Nate Posted: November 29, 2011 at 04:07 PM (#4002871)
...speaking of Dolf Lundgren, I hope Valentine's movie pitch was something like Dennis Reynolds' pitch on Always Sunny a few seasons back.
   26. The Yankee Clapper Posted: November 29, 2011 at 04:08 PM (#4002873)
Try Not To Be An ####### First doesn't sound like a good name for a movie.
   27. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: November 29, 2011 at 04:17 PM (#4002884)
The movie was Citizen Kane, as told from Tommy Lasorda's point of view.

"What did I think of Susan's performance??!!!"
   28. Bob Evans Posted: November 29, 2011 at 11:54 PM (#4003226)
Rosebud was a pierogi!

I LOL'ed.
   29. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: November 30, 2011 at 12:56 AM (#4003256)
What did I think of Susan Alexander's performance? Jee-sus Christ. It was horseshit, that's what. Jee-sus Christ. Susan Alexander's performance? I don't give a fuck. That's right. Go put THAT in your paper, Jedediah.

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