And on the way home from that bar, he tripped over Brian Griese's dog, while on his way to wash Jeff Kent's truck.

plus, he was carrying a load of deer meat

When I saw Penny coming into the game, I knew that Billy would write a column about it today. If it didn't work out.

Then he also sliced off the top of his finger while trimming his hedges.

With a hunting knife he got as a birthday present.

When I saw Penny coming into the game, I knew that Billy would write a column about it today. If it didn't work out.

wow--he managed to go a whole column without mentioning LoDuca

<quote>wow--he managed to go a whole column without mentioning LoDuca</quote>

Well, this wouldn´t have happened if DePodesta had not traded LoDuca for Penny.... :)

Beimel's real problem was trying to use the glass shards to cut open the wrapping on a DVD while practicing karate kicks with his brother.

I heard he cut it on a glass table that he cartwheeled into trying to knock off the spiders that were on him.

All this would have been OK, if he wasn't carrying luggage up the stairs and then sneezed.

"All this would have been OK, if he wasn't carrying luggage up the stairs and then sneezed."

Which, naturally, set off the artificial tarp machine.

Startling him so much he jumped out the window of the whorehouse.

Into Albert Belle's lawn on Halloween.

and fell off the railroad bridge at Niagara Falls

(old school)

I heard he burned his hand ironing the shirt he was wearing.

Milton Bradley tried to help by pouring a cup of coffee on the burn.

He jabbed a fork in his eye while tying Jim McMahon's shoe and fell out of a tree getting a coconut for Keith Richards.

Which, naturally, set off the artificial tarp machine.

Somebody call me?

Tarp

It would never have happened if his eyelid hadn't been stuck shut.

It was actually a paper cut suffered while trying to rip a phon book in half.

Spider!!!

I think he sliced his hand on a donut that he left in the microwave too long.

When Penny came in, I knew he was going to blow it. It wasn't a Brett Tomko type "I just hope he doesn't blow it." I knew he would blow it. It was but his third career relief appearence (and he tanked in hs earlier one this year before the all-star break), his back was hurting, and he'd been getting lit up lately. Little put his player in a situation in which he had no chance to succeed.

Quite a game. The worst baserunning and managing coinciding in the same game. And the team still had the tying run in scoring position in the 9th.

Too be fair, Delgado would have hit into a DP in that inning if it wasn't for that damn shift. Penny was pitching low and away, inviting Delgado to beat that shift. And the sad thing is that just a few innings earlier, Delgado had gotten a base hit because of the shift and nobody learned from it.

Also, earlier in the year, Broxton and Saito had two inning appearences all the time. And saito especially is well rested right now. Why not let him go two. And why isn't Dessens on the roster?

As for Beimel, what an incredibly immature thing to do. You're a grown up, Beimel, act like it. You did what i'd expect out of the idiots at Cal Poly. Getting drunk and doing something stupid right before the playoffs? I'll have no sympathy if you are never able to pitch again. >:O

I just realized Beimel is a local Western PA guy and Duquesne graduate.

This is just the sort of incident I'd expect from MLB's only player to come from St. Mary's, a town surrounded by forests which is most famous for a brewery whose beer is exclusively drunk by hicks, and which is farther from any sort of city than anywhere else in PA.

Maybe he cut his hand on a rough end of a mouse while navigating the Internet.

He dropped the glass because he has Lou Gehrig's disease.

And he couldn't navigate the room so well with chili juice in his eye. So he went and took a nap in his tanning bed.

And why isn't Dessens on the roster?

If you start crying for Elmer Dessens, you don't deserve to win in the playoffs.