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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Man hit in groin at batting cage awarded $1.2 million

A Miami-Dade jury has awarded almost $1.2 million to a 21-year-old man hit in the groin by a batting-cage pitch.

The jury decided last week that the Sluggers batting cage operation at Tamiami Park in West Miami-Dade negligently failed to properly supervise its employees.

Lhyvann Felipe, who was 19 years old at the time, was hit in the groin by a 60 mph pitch, said his attorney, Gabriel M. Sanchez. He was hospitalized several days later.

The ball struck him after an employee asked him to go back into the batting cage to help pick up the balls.

The machine, which had already completed the cycle and did not have the lights on, spit out the ball, which hit him.

The Batting Cages will rise. We will fall.

Gamingboy Posted: November 12, 2008 at 06:21 PM | 167 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
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   1. You can keep your massive haul Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:07 PM (#3007633)
Happy Gilmore does this for fun!
   2. More Dewey is Always Good Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:09 PM (#3007635)
An employee asked him to help pick up batting-cage balls, and he did?
   3. Shooty would run in but these bone spurs hurt! Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:12 PM (#3007638)
The question:

Would you take a 60 mph pitch directly in the nads--and I mean directly--for 1.2 million?
   4. xanthan Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:15 PM (#3007641)
Would you take a 60 mph pitch directly in the nads--and I mean directly--for 1.2 million?


If I say "Yes", does it make me a bad person?
   5. PreservedFish Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:18 PM (#3007645)
Would you take a 60 mph pitch directly in the nads--and I mean directly--for 1.2 million?


Oh god. I should say Yes, but I don't think I'd be man enough to hang in there. Unless I was strapped down or something.
   6. aberg Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:18 PM (#3007646)
I suspect that my willingness to consider doing it for the money is biased by the fact that I've never been hit directly in the groin with a 60 mph pitch.
   7. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:19 PM (#3007647)
Baseball in the groin! Baseball in the groin! It works on so many levels!!!

Would you take a 60 mph pitch directly in the nads--and I mean directly--for 1.2 million?

Former Royals pitcher Mark Littell would!
   8. The District Attorney Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:20 PM (#3007649)
Man hit in groin at batting cage awarded $1.2 million
Big deal... George C. Scott won an Oscar for it.

("The ball... his groin... it works on so many levels!")
   9. Shooty would run in but these bone spurs hurt! Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:22 PM (#3007651)
You know, I theoretically would, but I don't know if I could just stand there and and take it either. That would take some serious fortitude.
   10. My name is Votto, and I love to get Moppo Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:22 PM (#3007652)
Ow, my balls!
   11. Joey B. is counting the days to Trea Turner Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:26 PM (#3007656)
Would you take a 60 mph pitch directly in the nads--and I mean directly--for 1.2 million?

Would there be spin on it, or not?
   12. rfloh Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:26 PM (#3007657)
9. Shooty misses Bill King Posted: November 12, 2008 at 03:22 PM (#3007651)
You know, I theoretically would, but I don't know if I could just stand there and and take it either. That would take some serious fortitude.


Just spread your legs, and think of...
   13. phredbird Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:29 PM (#3007661)
no way. i swung at a full toss in cricket once and missed and the d-mn ball hit me in the inner thigh about two inches away from a bullseye. that hurt pretty bad, but it scared me even more. also convinced me not to play cricket anymore.
   14. RJ in TO Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:30 PM (#3007663)
Just spread your legs, and think of...


Getting hit in the balls by a 60 MPH baseball? Because in that situation, that's all I could think of.
   15. Shooty would run in but these bone spurs hurt! Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:32 PM (#3007666)
Just spread your legs, and think of...

I would try to think of the money, but probably all I would be thinking about would be my imminently crushed testicles.
   16. RJ in TO Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:33 PM (#3007667)
Also, I would bail out on this. While $1.2M is a lot of money, I don't think it's enough to buy a replacement "groin".
   17. Crispix Attacksel Rios Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:33 PM (#3007668)
I believe baseballs are significantly softer than cricket balls. Making it all the more impressive that cricket fielders barely even use gloves.
   18. flournoy Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:38 PM (#3007672)
An employee asked him to help pick up batting-cage balls, and he did?


At most batting cages I've been to, it's common courtesy to pick up the balls and toss them back in the bucket when you're done. You're expected to do it. Everyone does it. The exceptions are the outdoor circular cage places that you see at family fun parks, where that's automated.
   19. RJ in TO Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:38 PM (#3007673)
I believe baseballs are significantly softer than cricket balls. Making it all the more impressive that cricket fielders barely even use gloves.


If you'd like to test this theory, we can set up a machine that will throw both at your groin, and you can decide which hurts more.
   20. Starring RMc as Bradley Scotchman Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:38 PM (#3007674)
Would you take a 60 mph pitch directly in the nads--and I mean directly--for 1.2 million?

Former Royals pitcher Mark Littell would!


Involving a Catholic High School girl in this...is just so wrong, on so many levels.
   21. Cowboy Popup Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:39 PM (#3007675)
Would you take a 60 mph pitch directly in the nads--and I mean directly--for 1.2 million?

Depends on whether an attractive woman dressed in fetish gear was loading the machine or not.
   22. BeanoCook Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:41 PM (#3007677)
If you could get hit in the face in such a dramatic way, you would be voted into the HOF, but the blow ended your career, would you take it?

-signed Kirby Puckett
   23. phredbird Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:41 PM (#3007678)
ya, my dalliance with cricket was brief. i fielded a hard line drive barehanded once and timed it just right, took it right into the meaty parts of both hands, so it didn't hurt at all. then i stupidly put my hand out on my next chance and it hit my fingers and i just about collapsed.

hey crispix what's with the handle? did you just decide to try it on again for a while? i've been meaning to go back to my original for a while, maybe i should ...
   24. Traderdave Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:41 PM (#3007681)
Would you take a 60 mph pitch directly in the nads--and I mean directly--for 1.2 million?


Many variables to consider:

A) pre or post tax?
B) pre or post attorney fees?
C) from what distance? the regulation 60'6"? point blank? from back wall of cage, where you are likely to be picking up the balls?
d) rubber BP ball or standard hardball?
   25. My name is Votto, and I love to get Moppo Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:45 PM (#3007686)
So, are those "Jackass" guys millionaires or what? Because I would not do half of the #### that they do.
   26. RJ in TO Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:47 PM (#3007693)
C) from what distance? the regulation 60'6"? point blank? from back wall of cage, where you are likely to be picking up the balls?


I'm thinking that you'll be picking them up from right beside your feet.
   27. Zonk Won the Mental Acuity Golf Trophy at his Club Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:47 PM (#3007694)
I assume I couldn't wear a cup - but if someone offered me the deal, I would carefully read the contract and if it didn't specify that I could not... I would - and then have a really good lawyer on retainer.
   28. Good cripple hitter Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:50 PM (#3007698)
Depends on whether an attractive woman dressed in fetish gear was loading the machine or not.

If there was, and she told me to "enter the garden of madness," I'd probably take one for the team.
   29. Craig Calcaterra Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:53 PM (#3007699)
Would you take a 60 mph pitch directly in the nads--and I mean directly--for 1.2 million?


I've been married for over 13 years. I have two kids, a mortgage, and no reasonable way to escape the legal profession any time soon. On top of that I'm bald, I live in Ohio, and my parents recently moved to a place less than two miles from my home.

Where do I f*ckin' sign up for the changeup to the crotch thing?
   30. Shooty would run in but these bone spurs hurt! Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:54 PM (#3007701)
Where do I f*ckin' sign up for the changeup to the crotch thing?

Damn Craig. I don't know about the crotch thing but Wal-Mart sells guns pretty cheap!
   31. phredbird Posted: November 12, 2008 at 07:55 PM (#3007702)
btw, the mark littell thing was hilarious.
   32. Gromit Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:04 PM (#3007718)
negligently failed to properly supervise its employees

So you now have to hire people to check if your employees are wearing a cup? Yeech!
   33. AJMcCringleberry Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:09 PM (#3007721)
And to think, Homer only wanted to give the guy $10,000.
   34. You can keep your massive haul Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:25 PM (#3007730)
Did it him doggystyle? That's the only way it hits his "groin" if he's bending over. That would be much worse than full frontal member knockification I'd think.
   35. RJ in TO Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:26 PM (#3007732)
And to think, Homer only wanted to give the guy $10,000.


Be reasonable - that was 15 years ago. With inflation, that would work out to about $1.2M today.

Besides, everyone knows that "Football to the groin" falls into a different legal category than "Baseball to the groin".
   36. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:27 PM (#3007735)
I bet the batting cage tries to recoup their losses by submitting the accident to America's Funniest Home Videos.
   37. Biff, highly-regarded young guy Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:46 PM (#3007758)
Lhyvann?
   38. Der Komminsk-sar Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:46 PM (#3007760)
I mention this here every few years or so, but I had it happen (as a fielder) in a pickup game 15 or so years ago, while playing a very deep 2B / short CF (I was actually the 3B - we were using a weird shift) - I'm sure the speed of the ball well exceeded 60.
In short:
* I'm a lousy athlete, at best - with poor reaction skills. No, I don't know why I was (normally) at third, I used to play it a lot for some reason (probably because I'm worse everywhere else).
* The hitter was easily the best player on the field - former D2 guy with a quick bat.
* The shift worked - he hit it *right* at me, a laser.
* Clearly, I had trouble adjusting to the speed of the ball. My strongest memory of the whole thing was/is the awareness of just how fast it was going and a flicker of worry about my ability to handle it.
* It lodged in my crotch, knocking me the #### out. As it stayed there after I fell over, he was called out.
* I came to a few minutes later. No external bleeding, no long term damage, but I was very sore and swollen for a few days. Not the worst feeling I've ever had, but up there.
   39. Shooty would run in but these bone spurs hurt! Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:49 PM (#3007764)
As it stayed there after I fell over, he was called out.

You, sir, are a pro's pro.
   40. Cowboy Popup Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:50 PM (#3007765)
* It lodged in my crotch, knocking me the #### out. As it stayed there after I fell over, he was called out.

Web Gem!
   41. DL from MN Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:51 PM (#3007766)
Damn, 36 beat me to it, but my joke was better - "To get the money the victim had to sign away all video performance rights".
   42. jwb Posted: November 12, 2008 at 08:59 PM (#3007769)
Mark Littell's B-Ref page sponsor:
Michigan Law School Fantasy Baseball Keeper League sponsor(s) this page.
Our league is adding "number of baseballs deflected off of the Nutty Buddy" as a fantasy category next year
   43. CraigK Posted: November 12, 2008 at 09:07 PM (#3007778)
   44. Rally Posted: November 12, 2008 at 09:21 PM (#3007792)
Would you take a 60 mph pitch directly in the nads--and I mean directly--for 1.2 million?


Is it payable in gold bullion? Or in soon to be worthless paper money?
   45. Delino DeShields & Yarnell Posted: November 12, 2008 at 09:23 PM (#3007794)
I catch my 14 yr old kid with no gear - he probably throws 65-70 - and took one off the big toe a couple of weeks ago. Blood in sock, lost the nail. Count me out.
   46. Hang down your head, Tom Foley Posted: November 12, 2008 at 09:42 PM (#3007809)
$1.2 million would get you two chicks at the same time, but if you'd no nads that wouldn't help.
   47. Justin T's pasta pass was not revoked Posted: November 12, 2008 at 09:43 PM (#3007810)
Not the worst feeling I've ever had, but up there.

I assume this was because you were unconscious for the really bad stuff. I'm still curious to know what happened to you that hurt worse. Maybe it's related to military service, in which case, sorry.

But, considering that you are a poster with seemingly all of his faculties remaining (at least mentally from what I can tell), I'm gonna say that yes I would take the 60 mph shot to the nuts for $1.2M. And I hadn't even considered before that I could pass out from the pain and miss the worst part. That makes it a no brainer, even if I'm not guaranteed to pass out.
   48. Barry`s_Lazy_Boy Posted: November 12, 2008 at 09:43 PM (#3007811)
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
   49. Swedish Chef Posted: November 12, 2008 at 10:05 PM (#3007823)
Is it payable in gold bullion? Or in soon to be worthless paper money?

Gold's not going to do you any good down in your bunker. I'd advise you to invest in guns, ammo and canned tuna instead.

And of course, everybody who wishes to give their soon to be worthless dollar bills a loving new home can mail them to me. The 200 dollars I hadn't got around to exchange back since I last was in New York are worth 20% more Swedish kronas now.
   50. sotapop Posted: November 12, 2008 at 10:08 PM (#3007827)
this is the best thread in a long time. every entry I read, I think of a follow -- and somebody has it in the next post or two.

I'll add my close encounter. I was a second-string catcher in high school, was way late for practice one day, ran to the field and realized I forgot to put in my cup. sure enough, somebody fouled one down and back and it one-hopped me in the nads. I didn't pass out, but I was gasping on the ground for 20 minutes or so.

not the same as a pitch straight to the nuts, but I'd suffer it again for, say, $50,000. it'd be tough to replicate the seeing-eye foul ball tho.
   51. Clemenza Posted: November 12, 2008 at 10:27 PM (#3007838)
Well, I had a vasectomy with only a local anesthetic that didn't work very well. You haven't lived until you've felt a scalpel rip through your scrotum. If you remember that scene at the end of Braveheart when he gets disemboweled and the look on his face when they cut him open...I think that's what I looked like. The pain lasted a second or two but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
   52. Yeaarrgghhhh Posted: November 12, 2008 at 10:28 PM (#3007839)
I was pitching in a slo-pitch softball game a couple years ago, and the batter hit a laser that hit me two inches above my groin. I had an imprint of the stiching in my skin for two days. No way in HELL would I take that same ball to the groin, even for $1.2M.
   53. Barry`s_Lazy_Boy Posted: November 12, 2008 at 10:36 PM (#3007847)
The dude had $160k in medical bills. I wouldn't be surprised if there was some long term effects. It'd take a lot more than $1.2M for me to chance that.
   54. Booey Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:02 PM (#3007856)
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.



One of the top ten funniest movies of all time...
   55. Completely Unbiased 3rd Party Lurker Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:06 PM (#3007857)
Until this morning I'd been considering a vasectomy - but not anymore. Thanks, Clemenza.
   56. phredbird Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:22 PM (#3007862)
okay, here's what we have so far:

xanthan -- qualified yes.

preserved fish -- on reflection, no.

andrewberg -- needs more info.

shooty -- not sure.

joey b. -- needs more info.

phredbird -- no way.

ryan jones -- no.

cowboy popup -- needs an inducement besides the money.

traderdave -- needs a lot more info.

zonk -- yes, if he can have a cup and a lawyer.

derkomminsk-sar -- apparently a no, based on experience.

craig calcaterra -- ready to give it a shot.

AROM -- needs more info.

delino deshields & yarnell -- no.

justin T. -- yes (!)

sotapop -- wants to dicker (heh)

clemenza -- apparent no.

yeaarrgh -- no (handle should have been a giveaway)

barry's -- no.

NL west -- no, but only for a vasectomy.

boy, a lot of people curious about conditions, but only one straight yes. for myself, i can't believe anyone would even consider it.
   57. Quaker Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:23 PM (#3007863)
I absolutely would. I don't even see how this is a question.
   58. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:24 PM (#3007864)
"Well, I had a vasectomy with only a local anesthetic that didn't work very well."

Just out of curiosity, what the hell were you thinking?
   59. Captain Joe Bivens, Pointless and Wonderful Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:24 PM (#3007865)
* It lodged in my crotch, knocking me the #### out. As it stayed there after I fell over, he was called out.

While I have sympathy for your pain, that was the wrong call. It's only an out when you control the ball with your glove or bare hand. A ball stuck in your crotch is not an out, unless a teammate retrieved it before it touched the ground. Then, you get an assist!
   60. phredbird Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:28 PM (#3007866)
um, quaker, i laud your big brass ones, but have you been reading this thread? the guy had $160,000 of medical bills. you don't get that from a hangnail.
   61. Justin T's pasta pass was not revoked Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:29 PM (#3007868)
I kinda missed the 160K in bills part. And I wasn't a positive yes until D-K's account made me feel bold. So you can change my vote.
   62. Quaker Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:30 PM (#3007869)
Dude, he still cleared $1 million, and there's no guarantee I'd incur the same damage, although I guess it could be worse. From everyone else's stories, it seems like there were, at worst, a few weeks of pain and then everything returned to normal, which is well worth a million dollars to me.
   63. Gamingboy Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:31 PM (#3007870)
I just realized that I missed calling it the Batting Cage of DOOM!
   64. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:35 PM (#3007872)
Speaking of nut shots, anyone else see this fight?
   65. phredbird Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:36 PM (#3007873)
fair enough. but it looks to me like those aren't the worst case scenarios. i'd bet the worst case scenario is blunt testicular trauma; in other words, a vasectomy without benefit of anesthesia, followed by removal of all those mushed up bits you won't be needing anymore.
   66. Captain Joe Bivens, Pointless and Wonderful Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:38 PM (#3007874)
OK, I'll divulge: I have been hit in the testicles too many times, playing baseball, softball, and hockey. You'd think I'd have learned after the first bad hop and put on a cup, but no. Not even after the second or third time it happened. Mind you, these injuries occurred over several years. It wasn't one after another. But still, injuries to the testicles take their toll, and now I have a hydrocele on my left one that is quite uncomfortable. I doubt I ever took a direct hit with a ball traveling close to 60 mph, so I will say that I would not care to sacrifice myself for the money.
   67. Mike Hampton's #1 Fan Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:39 PM (#3007875)
Speaking of nut shots, anyone else see this fight?

What's the deal with Cro Cop and crotch shots? He got kneed in the groin two or three times in his fight with Kongo, too, as I recall.
   68. RJ in TO Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:42 PM (#3007876)
Dude, he still cleared $1 million, and there's no guarantee I'd incur the same damage, although I guess it could be worse.


Dude, he required $160K of medical work on his unit. That's a hell of a lot of medical work on an extremely sensitive area.

For comparison, the average cost of coronary artery bypass graft surgery is apparently $20K. Do you really want to have the cost equivalent of eight (8!) heart surgeries performed on Quaker Jr?
   69. Quaker Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:43 PM (#3007878)
I grant you that if you told me beforehand that 'it' wouldn't work anymore or would be permanently disfigured in a disgusting way I would not accept the deal.
   70. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:45 PM (#3007879)
"What's the deal with Cro Cop and crotch shots? He got kneed in the groin two or three times in his fight with Kongo, too, as I recall."

Dunno. I winced when I heard that the one ball was driven back up into the body cavity, though (unless it fled in terror).

At least he's better off than Joe Son (relevant clip starts about 2:00 in).
   71. Mike Hampton's #1 Fan Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:51 PM (#3007880)
At least he's better off than Joe Son (relevant clip starts about 2:00 in).

I dunno, I think I'd rather be punched by a fat dude than kneed by Alistair Overeem.
   72. RJ in TO Posted: November 12, 2008 at 11:52 PM (#3007881)
I dunno, I think I'd rather be punched by a fat dude than kneed by Alistair Overeem.


While each knee would probably hurt more, I'm thinking that the repeated punching probably didn't feel all that great either - especially since he could see Hackney winding up each time and had to know exactly what was coming next.
   73. scotto Posted: November 13, 2008 at 12:08 AM (#3007890)
Like Joe Bivens (Hi Joe!) my boys have taken some hits.

Unprotected:

1. Kick from older sister when I teased her about her boyfriend. Direct hit. Copious vomiting ensued while in the fetal position. Not pretty.

2. Lacrosse ball fired underhand at goal I was defending. It glanced off of my thigh and nailed my unprotected 'nads but only indirectly. No vomiting, but severe pain.

Protected:

1. Slapshot to the cup. I did make it to the bench. No vomiting.

2. Slapshot to the cup. Cup was, um, misaligned. Did not make it to the bench without assistance.

3. Vasectomy. Piece of cake.

Likelihood of my taking 1.2 minus .16 minus lawyer fee? Zero.
   74. phredbird Posted: November 13, 2008 at 12:11 AM (#3007891)
I grant you that if you told me beforehand that 'it' wouldn't work anymore or would be permanently disfigured in a disgusting way I would not accept the deal.


i do believe that is the level of risk we are talking about here. not a brief ouchy in the beans area. but i will say i'm not a medical expert. this site has a ton of lawyers. any doctors around who can give a little perspective?
   75. phredbird Posted: November 13, 2008 at 12:18 AM (#3007895)
more results:

justin T -- changed to no.

quaker -- yes, but thinking it over.

joe bivens -- no.

scotto -- no.

the voice of experience seems to be winning out.
   76. Justin T's pasta pass was not revoked Posted: November 13, 2008 at 12:23 AM (#3007897)
   77. Captain Joe Bivens, Pointless and Wonderful Posted: November 13, 2008 at 12:36 AM (#3007902)
If I could get hit without expecting it, I'd become a "maybe". Plus, I'd have to be a lot younger, so that they'd heal easier.
   78. phredbird Posted: November 13, 2008 at 12:37 AM (#3007903)
wow, and that was just a tennis ball at 15 mph.
   79. tribefan Posted: November 13, 2008 at 12:51 AM (#3007910)
I took a helmet hit in the groin in high school football practice once, and it took several days to get over. That was with a cup on too.

I would have said no to the original offer anyways, but after watching that video in #77, it's a far more emphatic no. Some things aren't worth money.
   80. BleedOrangeAndBlue Posted: November 13, 2008 at 01:06 AM (#3007912)
60 mph? Was first thinking that was slower than a Wakefield knuckler, which appears to just "drift" to the plate when you see it on TV.

Then I thought about going to a minor league game this summer that had one of those radar gun booths set up. I took two steps back, gave it everything I had, about threw my shoulder out of its socket, and posted 67 mph.

No thanks.
   81. Biff, highly-regarded young guy Posted: November 13, 2008 at 01:06 AM (#3007913)
No one else except me has addressed the most important issue here. What the hell kind of name is Lhyvann?
   82. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: November 13, 2008 at 01:14 AM (#3007914)
$1.2 million would get you two chicks at the same time, but if you'd no nads that wouldn't help.

Two Girls, No Cup.
   83. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 13, 2008 at 01:33 AM (#3007918)
"I dunno, I think I'd rather be punched by a fat dude than kneed by Alistair Overeem."

Oh, you thought I meant the groin thing? No, I was talking about getting arrested for gang rape.
   84. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: November 13, 2008 at 01:45 AM (#3007920)
Amazingly enough, the Joe Son ballbuster isn't even close to the most ridiculous moment of Hackney's career.
   85. Francoeur Sans Gages (AlouGoodbye) Posted: November 13, 2008 at 01:50 AM (#3007921)
60mph sounds really slow in a baseball context. But when you think about it a bit more that's roughly the speed of a car on the freeway. And it hits you directly in the groin.

Put a couple of extra zeroes in that $1.2m and I'll think about it.
   86. aleskel Posted: November 13, 2008 at 01:54 AM (#3007923)
after seeing this, I started referring to this as being "hit in the Molinas"
   87. Der Komminsk-sar Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:03 AM (#3007926)
A ball stuck in your crotch is not an out, unless a teammate retrieved it before it touched the ground.

It was still there when I came to (no one wanted to mess with that general area) - so I get the putout. (I think they called the game anyway, that detail is hazy.)

I'd do that again for 1.2 mil (with a guarantee of no damage). Otherwise, nooooooooooooooo.

More generally, I've had a number of crotch injuries (other sports ones involved catching w/o a cup in LL and getting a bit of backswing and an onion punch in a basketball game) - my wife used to worry that having kids would be out of the question. I've no idea how I've escaped serious injury.
   88. Der Komminsk-sar Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:06 AM (#3007928)
BTW, no Josias Manzanillo?
   89. Athletic Supporter's aunt's sorry like Aziz Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:22 AM (#3007931)
Furtado, can you close this thread?

I don't know if I can take any more stories.
   90. nycfan Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:23 AM (#3007932)
Dude, he still cleared $1 million


A lot less than that. $400K to his attorney, $160K in medical bills, missed time from work during recovery
   91. RJ in TO Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:26 AM (#3007934)
A lot less than that. $400K to his attorney, $160K in medical bills, missed time from work during recovery


Don't forget the severe case of smashed dick.
   92. JMPH Posted: November 13, 2008 at 02:38 AM (#3007938)
Don't forget the severe case of smashed dick.

This really can't be emphasized enough.
   93. You can keep your massive haul Posted: November 13, 2008 at 03:03 AM (#3007947)
I forgot about the Nutty Buddy! Mark me down for an emphatic NO!
   94. frannyzoo Posted: November 13, 2008 at 03:30 AM (#3007953)
I really should have gone to law school. Another guy gets a smashed dick, and I get $400k. Profit!
   95. flournoy Posted: November 13, 2008 at 03:43 AM (#3007956)
I haven't weighed in with my answer yet. No, I would not do this for $1.2M. You can keep your damn money, I choose to keep my nuts.
   96. The Yankee Clapper Posted: November 13, 2008 at 04:44 AM (#3007965)
Dude, he required $160K of medical work on his unit. That's a hell of a lot of medical work on an extremely sensitive area.

True, but it's fairly common for plaintiffs' attorneys to inflate the medical bills in hopes of recovering some multiple of the medicals in settlement or at trial. The payments might be 100% legit or maybe mostly for some sort of "massage" treatments. That's not to say that it makes the Shooty Challenge™ worth the risk.
   97. Walt Davis Posted: November 13, 2008 at 05:19 AM (#3007975)
Lhyvann Felipe, who was 19 years old at the time, was hit in the groin by a 60 mph pitch, said his attorney, Gabriel M. Sanchez.

I guess the argument that a guy named Lhyvann had no chance of ever fathering children to begin with didn't sway the jury.

I don't know if I can take any more stories.

DO NOT LOOK AT THIS!!

Although, in one of the all-time classic lines, the doctor says it was probably less painful than a "first-class kick in the nuts."
   98. Belfry Bob Posted: November 13, 2008 at 05:43 AM (#3007978)
Obviously considering the doctor bills, this was pretty serious...but I was hit in the face right at the browline at a cage years ago, another time in the side of the head as I tried to duck out of the way, and once in the inner thigh...I think I'd take my chances for the bucks and I hope I'm not hurt as badly as this guy was.
   99. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: November 13, 2008 at 06:39 AM (#3007994)
We have two very high quality threads going on right now. I laughed my way down the thread at others misfortunes.

put me down for a no, i'm reading this in bed before i go to sleep and am in a half fetal position.
   100. Booey Posted: November 13, 2008 at 07:15 AM (#3008002)
When I was a teenager, my friends and I used to rent old karate movies and then videotape it while we fought each other, trying to emulate what we'd just seen in the films. There was one time I rushed at my buddy, and he threw up his knee as fast as he could - aiming for my gut, he claimed - but he misjudged and got me square in the goods. I dropped like a sack of potato's and lay on the ground in the fetal position twitching for a full half hour or so while my friends laughed hysterically and kept the camera rolling. The friend who owned the camera held on to this footage for years, bringing it out at parties and other social occasions whenever he was in the mood to have some fun at my expense.


No way in hell would I take a 60 mph ball to the balls for money. The risk of permanant disfiguration or dysfunction is waaaaay too high...
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