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Monday, April 14, 2008

Passan: Leyland lets loose on underperforming Tigers

Sucking, Screaming, and Cigarettes…no, no, it’s not the latest Beasts of Bourbon CD…it’s the weirdness that is Tigerland.

What happened was another shutout, the second blanking in a row and fourth the mighty Tigers have suffered this season, and the establishment, too, of Leyland’s official breaking point. Off he went following the 11-0 loss that dropped the Tigers to 2-10, his voice permeating the brick walls at U.S. Cellular Field and ricocheting off the doors that tried their best to insulate Detroit’s clubhouse from the rest of the world.

Actually, it was quite like a fallout shelter, the Tigers trying to isolate themselves from Leyland’s nuclear meltdown. No one dared explain how a lineup that threatened to cross the 1,000-run barrier has been shut out four times, just as no one could answer how a team with a $138.7 million payroll could start 0-7, just as no one knew what to say when Leyland yelled and screamed and refused any longer to watch his team potentially send its season sewer-bound in the first month.

...“That’s what I love about my skip, man,” Tigers DH Gary Sheffield said before Sunday’s game. “He’ll tell you that you suck. That’s what I appreciate him for. I know I suck. We know we suck. But I don’t see nobody in there hanging their head and feeling sorry for themselves. Yeah, we suck. But we’ll see who sucks at the end.”

Repoz Posted: April 14, 2008 at 04:02 AM | 8 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: tigers

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   1. GIANTlhbASS Posted: April 14, 2008 at 04:47 AM (#2743247)
"Yeah Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. (Homer, watch your mouth!) Uh, I gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening."
   2. Harry Balsagne Posted: April 14, 2008 at 05:15 AM (#2743276)
Yeah, we suck. But we'll see who sucks at the end.

Gary Sheffield is so underrated, as a hitter and as a source pure comedy gold. Unfortunately I feel like he's destined to be one of those players who sticks around long after he should retire, therefore tainting the memory of his greatness. But he's a kind of bat-#### crazy that only comes once in a generation.
   3. My guest will be Jermaine Allensworth Posted: April 14, 2008 at 06:15 AM (#2743290)
But we’ll see who sucks at the end.

Selig should do this for the WS trophy presentation: "It's my great honor to present the championship trophy to the team that sucked the least, the Boston Red Sox."
   4. Phil Coorey. Posted: April 14, 2008 at 09:14 AM (#2743313)
Beasts of Bourbon


I should have known you'd be a fan. tex is the man
   5. MiseryLovesCompany Posted: April 14, 2008 at 12:33 PM (#2743336)
Leyland: You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!
Larry: Lollygaggers!
Leyland: Lollygaggers.

Leyland: This is a simple game: You throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball. You got it!
   6. Slinger Francisco Barrios (Dr. Memory) Posted: April 14, 2008 at 12:43 PM (#2743346)
How long till Dombrowski/Leyland see you can stick a fork in Jacque Jones? He's not the only one, sure, but I look at their hitters and to me he looks the least likely to improve going forward.
   7. Tricky Dick Posted: April 14, 2008 at 01:02 PM (#2743357)
After reading the article, I have to hand it to Passan: that is one nicely written article. I assume he faced the difficult task of writing about Leyland's shouting without knowing for sure what Leyland said. It takes some good word-smithing to turn that into an enjoyable read.
   8. Esoteric Posted: April 14, 2008 at 04:21 PM (#2743542)
Gary Sheffield with the money quote. I laffed out loud.

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