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Thursday, August 02, 2007
Potty-mouth Pete Rose strikes out at camp for kids
“As soon as the offending word is out of your mouth, replace it with another that’s likely to catch those little ears. “Peanut butter!” “Scooby-dooby-doo!” “Sugar-booger!”...And hurry, they’re all ####### running in the third at Aqueduct!
“It was a complete embarrassment,” said Staff Sgt. Steven Tischer, commander of the Colerain-Highland Ridge U.S. Army Recruiting Station that sponsored the baseball camp for 7- to 14-year-olds. “You don’t swear in front of kids, that’s just common sense. He dropped the F-bomb and the S-bomb. He told them winning is everything and if you get second place you’re just losers.”
...“His comment that he was (bleeped) off that Marge didn’t leave him any money in her will and that she left it all to the zoo. His comment about how Marge loved to smoke and she would have smoked in her sleep if someone was there to hold her cigarette all night. His comment that he saw Joe DiMaggio in the shower and he saw more of him than Marilyn Monroe ever did. His comment on a good friend of his that was a gambler - and how I could go on.”
Thanks to Shysterball.
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1. Matt Garza smells it deep (Mr. Tapeworm) Posted: August 02, 2007 at 01:27 PM (#2467272)LaaLaa DaaDeeLaaHaaLaa...
That was hilarious in #11.
Hopefully your commute today didn't totally suck balls after the whole bridge thing.
Man, you hate the country.
Sorry, I lost two 17 year-olds this year to recruiters who convinced them to drop out of school to join the National Guard because "it's strictly a domestic body--there is zero chance you will be sent overseas".
I love my country, I just hate the people in charge. Especially Ted Kennedy, WTF is wrong with that guy?
Actually, if I had time, I would re-write this article--it should practically write itself--Ted Kennedy addressing a group of 7-14 year old campers
What are the odds on Rose making it to Feller's age?
No, no...think of it as the Army's version of Scared Straight.
Jason Whitlock's a possibility. He got "gigantic turd" printed in the Star this morning. Adjusted for context, that's fairly impressively profane.
- John Winger
Wearing cement shoes at the bottom of some body of water due to unpaid gambling debts to the mob?
I had not heard this. Is it just me, or is it really funny that she left her money to a bunch of monkeys after some of the racial remarks that she made?
Has anyone here ever been subjected to a really awkward speech like this one? The guy who came to give us our yearly sexual harrassment / discrimination course was pretty painful - made a lot of subtle "I won't touch men" homophobic jokes, etc.
One of my soccer coaches blasted us with a *ton* of consecutive F bombs once, but we were 15 or 16, so it was more funny than anything.
maybe some higher up is from cincinnati and felt like a real scrappy guy like pete could do some good ... and didn't care what 'the media' had to say about rose. that's the thing that bothers me the most about him. he somehow manages to find the fools who swallow his line, and gets a gig, and keeps hanging around.
Smoke cracl, pop!
Isn't wasn't awkward except for the fact that we all had to fight from laughing, but after losing to some DI pitching prospect who pitched for our rival (4-1 I think), my high school baseball coach began his speech with "How did it feel to have your bats shoved up your asses..."
I don't remember much after that because I was biting my lip so hard to not burst out laughing.
There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My bat is my best friend.
It is my life.
I must master it as I must master my life.
My bat, without me, is useless.
Without my bat, I am useless.
I must swing my bat true.
I must hit straighter than my opponent,
who is trying to beat me.
I must beat him before he beats me.
I will.
My bat and myself know that what counts in baseball,
is not the foul balls,
the length of our fly outs,
nor the contact we make.
We know it is the hits that count.
We will hit.
My bat is human, even as I, because it is my career.
Thus, I will learn it as a brother.
I will learn its length,
its weight,
its grain,
its color,
its handle and its barrel.
I will ever guard it against
the ravages of weather and damage.
I will keep my bat tarred and ready,
even as I am eye-blacked and ready.
We will become part of each other.
We will.
Before Abner Doubleday I swear this creed.
My bat and myself are the defenders of my team.
We are the masters of our opponents.
We are the saviors of my season.
So be it, until there is no opponent,
but playoffs.
What exactly was Pete's relationship with Marge that he feels excluded from her will? I'm having some ugly thoughts right now..
It's just you, you sick ####.
More like the crackhead career day speech on the Chappelle Show..."Drugs is all around you kids. Look at that magic marker cap. What the hell you think that is, some kind of crayon? Take it off and sniff it and get high."
AAAAHHHHHH! Must....cleanse....brain......
Whitlock prints a giant turd in the Star every morning. I am unimpressed.
Ugly, perhaps... but from a karmic perspective, it certainly make sense.
It's the Army. In combat, if you get second place, you are a loser. Big time.
Do the Hustle!
What about the cliche about close only counting in horseshoes and hand grenades?
I'm sure he went into second base headfirst.
Damn. I should have known enough not to eat lunch while reading this thread...
Ted Kennedy is in charge of the country? Did I miss something?
Brilliant. On the DVD of Random Harvest, there's ten minute short made in 1942 called Marines in the Making, that ends with a Marine reciting "My Rifle". It's less corny than it appears written on paper, given the circumstances of the time.
Head first into second
Head first into third
I tell you now chillun
Lemme give you the word
I'm the mack daddy gamer
Got Marge in the posse
Head first into home
Just like I did Fosse
Naw, he only runs it on alternate Tuesdays. The rest of the week, it's a committee made up of Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky, and Annie Sprinkle.
No, but he is one of the many people in charge that I hate.
His work on NCLB was pretty horrific.
If only...
I had not heard this. Is it just me, or is it really funny that she left her money to a bunch of monkeys after some of the racial remarks that she made?
She wanted to take care of her million dollar tiggers.
Annie Sprinkle was HOT!
Of all the numbnuts you could have chosen, you pick bloated, useless, Ted F. Kennedy?
But this is why the club had to ban Pete Rose and his cellphone.
Urinate on this!
Actually, if one wishes they can have the wine decanted using, of course, a decanter. It's a piece of glass typically wide at the bottom and narrow at the top. Decanting wine is specific to red wines. The lighter wines, say a rioja, typically don't require decanting. But if you are drinking a Chauteneuf de Pape or California Zinfandel you would likely employ a decanter.
It depends on the preferences of the primary wine drinker at the table and his or her knowledge with the wine in question. Decanting encourages oxygenation and some wines suffer from this process. A very old wine has a very limited shelf life coming out of the bottle (less than 15 minutes in some cases) so decanting would be counterproductive.
Tigga.
I expect that from the worst president of the last century or so and his pals, but not from Ted.
If you stopped stealing everyone's dessert cookie at the company commissary the execs might react differently. Just too many anonymous complaints to HR.
That and Kermit is a schmoozer. Everybody loves the little green gay.... I mean guy. Works the room like nobody else.
Ok does anyone know what this means? I just finished with Arrested development season 3 dvds, and they mention it on the commentary but no answer is given.
It's acceptable to have a screw cap as it has been proven that the screw cap provides a more consistent and sturdy seal than cork. Many Austrialian wineries now employ the screw cap. You can expect to see more in the next few years.
Hogue Cellars completed a 30-month study comparing natural and synthetic cork closures with the Stelvin screw caps, their findings suggest significant benefits in utilizing screw caps over either natural or synthetic cork. Screw caps ensure a taint-free wine that offers consistent aging, maintained flavor and freshness with optimum quality control.
Two years ago I had an Arietta Cab that had gone bad in the bottle. And that's just one of number of instances. So I welcome our new ScrewTop Overlords.
(Did I write that correctly? I have seen that type phrase several times and it seemed appropriate)
IMO Steve Martin's finest performance. So, did you smell the bottlecap?
i don't know much about wine, but oxidized beer is described as tasting like cardboard. is that what you're talking about?
the way my uncle ensures a good seal on beers and meads that he plans on cellaring is by using a regular crown cap and then dipping the neck of the bottle in wax. of course, this is probably not efficient on a large scale.
Close enough. The basic format is "I, for one, welcome our new <word or phrase> overlords."
It's from the Simpsons originally. Kent Brockman (the reporter) sees the image of an ant blown up onto the screen by his head and comes up with this gem:
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