Today's Birthday Team has a weird glut of catchers and infielders, so we've got a shortstop playing center field and a third baseman/pitcher in left. Some decent talent to work with, not to mention an umpire who charges the mound when he's angry.

C: Kelly Shoppach (8.3 WAR)
1B: Clipper Flynn (0.6 WAR)
2B: Rick Burleson (22.9 WAR)
3B: Ed Charles (19.6 WAR)
SS: Luis Aparicio (55.8 WAR)
LF: Frank Hankinson (7.0 WAR)
CF: Ron Washington (1.3 WAR)
RF: John Vander Wal (6.2 WAR)

SP: Noodles Hahn (44.6 WAR)
SP: Nip Winters (Negro Leagues star)
SP: Mickey McDermott (18.2 WAR)
SP: Bob McClure (10.5 WAR)
SP: Sterling Hitchcock (8.1 WAR)
RP: Rafael Betancourt (14.1 WAR)

Manager: Akira Ohgi
Umpire: John Shulock
Writer: Phil Musick
High school pitching star drafted by the Angels, chose football, started in the NFL for a year, played horribly: Browning Nagle

we've got a shortstop playing center field

”It’s incredibly hard.”

started in the NFL for a year, played horribly

The shorter version of that is "Jets QB."

it’s impossible to score 11 runs if you hit three grand slams

You get 11 runs PLUS an extra bonus run (usually referred to as the "mystery run")!

it’s impossible to score 11 runs if you hit three grand slams.

Isn't there some way to do it involving runners passing each other or abandoning the bases? They wouldn't all be grand slams, but they would still be "home runs with the bases full."

BR has the box score and play by play. The Phillies hit three home runs - a grand slam by Miller, a grand slam by Meadows, and a solo shot by Cy Williams. Despite giving up 11 runs and three home runs, Braves (yes, it was against Boston, not Brooklyn although the Dodgers did indeed get four hits in their game to beat the Giants. The headline is a bit confusing.) pitcher Jack Scott pitched a complete game. Meadows hit three home runs that season, not bad for a pitcher in 1921. He was a righty pitcher, but hit left handed - the grand slam is listed as being to deep left field, which means it was an opposite field shot.

it’s impossible to score 11 runs if you hit three grand slams

What if one of the home run hitters passes the last runner before him, before crossing the plate? That sort of fluke play once cost Lou Gehrig a home run title.

On April 26, 1931, with Lyn Lary as the runner on first base and two out in the inning, Yankee first baseman Lou Gehrig hit a home run at Griffith Stadium. The homer cleared the centerfield fence, but then bounced back into the hands of Senators centerfielder Harry Rice. Lary, thinking the ball had been caught, returned to the dugout without ever crossing home plate. Gehrig, who had been running the bases with his head down, did not notice what happened and ended up getting called out for passing a runner on the base paths.

The incident ended up costing Gehrig the home run crown, as he and Babe Ruth finished the season tied with 46 homers a piece.

In fact it looks as if under that kind of a scenario, a similar "grand slam" would bring about only two runs, not even three.

EDIT: Half a coke to Cooper.