The absolute first thing that popped in my mind upon reading this was an old SNL sketch about the meeting of Mr. Belvedere stalkers (but drat, I can't find a link to it anywhere).

Life imitates art sometimes.....it just gets the wrong castmember.

Sgt. Joel Tranter said police were notified by the Brewers organization that the woman was among spectators at the Brewers-Cubs game.

When officers approached her to ask her to leave, she reported turned to the spectator next to her and said, "I must be in the front row!"

It's taken me four-plus years to come up with 10 more.

Top 10 ways you know you're too much into sabermetrics:

10. The sound of someone passing gas makes you think of VORP.

9. You serve on a jury with a man who has confessed to his first murder and you vote for an aquittal based on the fact that the sample size is too small to conclusively say he's a killer.

8. A theological debate causes you to ask your atheistic opponent: "If there's no God then who wrote all those Abstracts back in the 1980's?"

7. Speaking of which: Your date offers you a B.J. and you ask if you can read it later.

6. You're shopping for your wedding/prom tux and you wonder what colour tie and cummerbund goes with a red flannel shirt.

5. Your teacher commits suicide after you ask whether that's an offensive or defensive metric after they recite the alphabet.

4. You've actually wondered when Baseball Prospectus and Hardball Times will come out with a swimsuit issue (hopefully never).

3. You think the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse are: War, Famine, Death and Mariotti.

2. You read about the military's special-ops unit and wonder if that has anything to do with Hank Greenberg and Joe DiMaggio's tour of duty in the army.

1. When your dad asks you just what the hell you think you're doing when he catches you playing with yourself you reply: "Replacement-level sex?"

Best Regards

John

The absolute first thing that popped in my mind upon reading this was an old SNL sketch about the meeting of Mr. Belvedere stalkers (but drat, I can't find a link to it anywhere).

Life imitates art sometimes.....it just gets the wrong castmember.

This one?

1. When your dad asks you just what the hell you think you're doing when he catches you playing with yourself you reply: "Replacement-level sex?"


Now there's a euphemism.

1. When your dad asks you just what the hell you think you're doing when he catches you playing with yourself you reply: "Replacement-level sex?"

Fantastic. All I can say is that I really really hope my lifetime VORP is above 100.

The absolute first thing that popped in my mind upon reading this was an old SNL sketch about the meeting of Mr. Belvedere stalkers (but drat, I can't find a link to it anywhere).

Behold!

Alex, Greg....

You guys rock (and simultaneously frighten me) for finding it so quickly.

The only think I want to know, is did she follow him home from the ballpark in the bullpen car.

The absolute first thing that popped in my mind upon reading this was an old SNL sketch about the meeting of Mr. Belvedere stalkers (but drat, I can't find a link to it anywhere).

That's funny because the first thing I thought of was an SNL skit featuring Ross Perot trying to ditch that crazy VP guy he had, but he can't lose the veep and Perot said "Tenacious with a capital 'T'!"

I dunno why, but as a 12 year old that line cracked me up and has stuck with me ever since.

So after the cops showed up she was just a bit outside?

The "Guy Who Played Mr. Belvedere's Boss Fan Club" angle has already been used.

I'd imagine most 73 year old men would be flattered that someone would even care enough to stalk them.
That aside; the thought of having a stalker hot on your tail could be a bit chilling if that person's existence and delusional desires were made known to the stalkee.

the thought of having a stalker hot on your tail could be a bit chilling if that person's existence and delusional desires were made known to the stalkee.

Like wanting to keep you in a jar in their basement.

I don't think the video is online, but here's a transcript of the Belvedere SNL sketch.

It is online after all. Check it out on Youtube.

RTFC