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Friday, December 13, 2019

‘Fourth-Grade Diet’: Welcome to the Winter Meetings, the Unhealthiest Week of the Year

SAN DIEGO — Mike Rizzo was intrigued. The Nationals GM was on the phone with Scott Boras, and the agent seemed out of breath. It had been 24 hours since Boras client Stephen Strasburg had re-signed with Washington, and as far as Rizzo knew, fellow Boras client Anthony Rendon had not decided on a team. But Boras’s gasps got Rizzo’s attention.

“I thought he had a big deal or something that he was panting over,” Rizzo said.

Rizzo later learned that the explanation was much simpler: The legendarily high-motor Boras finds the fatty dinners, ubiquitous snacks and interminable meetings of baseball’s annual convention vexing, so he walks five miles each morning, conducting negotiations over AirPods. (Rendon agreed to a seven-year deal with the Angels Wednesday night.)

Welcome to the winter meetings, the unhealthiest week of the year. Hundreds of executives and agents descend upon a hotel—this year, the Manchester Grand Hyatt—to commodify thousands of professional athletes. They do so with a smartphone in one hand and a Dorito in the other.

Well, it’s been a while since we’ve had a food thread- bring up the foods (healthy, unhealty, or somewhere in between) that you have interests in.

 

QLE Posted: December 13, 2019 at 12:49 AM | 14 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: food, winter meetings

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   1. RoyalFlush Posted: December 13, 2019 at 02:46 PM (#5908540)
JFC. Pick up an apple instead of Doritos.

I would think Spring Training would be unhealthier - those towns are littered with fast food restaurants and not much else.
   2. PreservedFish Posted: December 13, 2019 at 02:55 PM (#5908546)
I don't care about millionaires eating junk food. What's terrible is that this is considered a "fourth grade diet."
   3. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: December 13, 2019 at 02:56 PM (#5908547)
From what I hear, they drink a lot more alcohol than most fourth-graders this side of Drew Barrymore.
   4. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: December 13, 2019 at 02:58 PM (#5908548)
What's terrible is that this is considered a "fourth grade diet."
You're a fine one to talk after your kid just made a "Sword of Plenty Mayonnaise."
   5. PreservedFish Posted: December 13, 2019 at 03:20 PM (#5908555)
We're working on "Sword of Plenty Homemade Aioli with Cage-Free Egg Yolks and Extra-Virgin Olive Oil"
   6. The Yankee Clapper Posted: December 13, 2019 at 03:28 PM (#5908560)
I would think Spring Training would be unhealthier - those towns are littered with fast food restaurants and not much else.
Lots of chain sit-down restaurants, from my Florida experiences.
   7. Dog on the sidewalk has an ugly bracelet Posted: December 13, 2019 at 04:09 PM (#5908570)
My experience as well. I have clear memories of entering an Outback Steakhouse outside Port St. Lucie, circia 2002, and seeing Armando Benitez a few tables away on what appeared to be a date.

My second favorite "athlete at a restaurant" moment, behind encountering Metta World Peace, in sweatpants and a ripped t-shirt at a ~$200/person restaurant in Las Vegas.
   8. Jose Goes to Absurd Lengths for 50K Posted: December 13, 2019 at 04:22 PM (#5908575)
In 1997 we went to Spring Training to see the Red Sox. One of the first days of March Madness was a rain out so we went to the local Hooters. Right behind us came several players; Tim Naehring is one I remember and a backup catcher, Bill Haselman maybe? There were 6 or 7 of them and they went to a sectioned off area. Several hours later they came stumbling out red faced and VERY well lubricated.
   9. "RMc", the superbatsman Posted: December 15, 2019 at 10:48 AM (#5908785)
Fourth-grade diet (diet!)
Throw back a bottle of beer
Fourth-grade diet (diet!)
What exactly am I eating here?
   10. Howie Menckel Posted: December 15, 2019 at 11:03 AM (#5908789)
I have clear memories of entering an Outback Steakhouse

their steaks are lean and tasty #ducksforfoodpolicebarrage
   11. pikepredator Posted: December 15, 2019 at 12:12 PM (#5908801)
RMC I can't help but wonder if you're parodying the original or riffing on Weird Al's Grapefruit Diet . . .
   12. Joyful Calculus Instructor Posted: December 15, 2019 at 01:05 PM (#5908810)
~$200/person restaurant


That place better have had some extraordinary food.
   13. Omineca Greg Posted: December 15, 2019 at 02:13 PM (#5908823)
We have an Outback in the Omineca. It opened just last year. I don't know anyone who's gone there. That's kind of surprising, normally the Ominecans get really excited when a big chain opens here; we're really out of the loop for a lot of things like that. Sometimes we get knock-offs, Caper Patch, Petit Pertinax's (it lasted longer than Pertinax's reign, but not by much. I think the Praetorian Guard were too scared of elephants in the Rockies (no it doesn't make sense to me either) to come and finish off his farthest outpost.

Speaking of overreaching bureaucracy, the BCLDB just get advocaat back in stock after being out for months. Oh, it was available, you could check the Liquor Store map, and there would be 3 bottles in Masset or a derelict jar in Sparwood, to sell. And they waited and waited, and finally a Dutch tourist came by to each of these tiny, remote places, and when the slate was clean they ordered a new set. But instead of Warninks, which is the world's leading brand, they got Bols instead. Now Bols is OK, but unless you want to see Jiminy Cricket get ###### up, or you're into art nouveau, there's no way around it's just not as good as Warninks. Even Warninks isn't the best, everybody knows that unless your advocaat has been handcrafted with your oma's liefde, it's really just a pale imitation.

Literally pale. Because advocaat is eggs. Eggs and booze. Or booze and eggs. Everybody has their priorities. It's like an omelette batter. That gets you hammered! If you think mayonnaise is eggy, you should try advocaat. Make a Snowball...it's like an Orange Julius...that get's you hammered! Or a Fluffy Duck. If you're the type of person that has tiny little plastic ducks around your house, and you're always asking yourself, "If I don't use these for something, I'm going to have them forever...", then you should make yourself a Fluffy Duck. It will help you forget your hoarding disorder...THROW THE FRICKIN' DUCKS OUT IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEM!...sorry, I had to go all tough love for a second.

Now Fish Jr. is too young for advocaat, so he should stick to the mayonnaise sword for now, but when he's a little older, who knows, an "Advocaat Mace of Drunken Obesity" might be appropriate. So just in case you couldn't tell I'm transparently trolling, let me take a swig of advocaat and tell you how it tastes, "Hmmm...So smooth, so viscous, makes eggnog seem like watery gruel. It's coating my mouth and throat, like a hollandaise sauce...that's gets you hammered! And if I drink too much of it, and I throw up, it will be all thick, but acidic and warm, like a soft poached egg with some malt vinegar on top. Oh man, that doesn't even sound too bad. In fact, if I was lucky enough to have a toasted English muffin around...oh never mind, some things are too gross...even for me.

Anyway, here's a recipe. Enjoy!
   14. The Yankee Clapper Posted: December 15, 2019 at 03:11 PM (#5908839)
In 1997 we went to Spring Training to see the Red Sox. One of the first days of March Madness was a rain out so we went to the local Hooters. Right behind us came several players; Tim Naehring is one I remember and a backup catcher, Bill Haselman maybe? There were 6 or 7 of them and they went to a sectioned off area. Several hours later they came stumbling out red faced and VERY well lubricated.
The Red Sox finished in 4th place at 78-84 that year.

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