Gonna guess he hits .300/.340/.480 with 10 home runs in 250 PA and earns some MVP votes.

IF I WERE A CARPENTER, AND I WAS A YANKEE

If I were a Carpenter
And I was a Yankee,
Would you love me anyway?
Would you make me DH?

If a glove were my trade
Would you still find me,
Allowing me the plays I made,
Followin' behind me.

Save my AB through loneliness,
Save my AB for sorrow,
I'm given you my DH AB,
Come give me tomorrow.

If I worked my hand at bat,
Would you still play me?
Answer me, Aaron, "Yes I would,
I'll put you above Hicks."
If I were a Millar
with an old memory grinding,
Would you miss your 2003 HR,
And your soft shoe dancing?

If I were a Carpenter
And I was a Yankee,
Would you love me anyway?
Would you make me DH?
Would you love anyway?
Would you make me DH?

I can hear Bobby Darin's voice in the background.

tim hardin

Babe Ruth built the house, but it's nice to have a Carpenter on hand for seasonal maintenance.

Um. For RoyalsRetro, and for anyone else who thinks that Matt Carpenter can still play, here are Carpenter's batting numbers from 2019 through today:

2019 33 STL NL 129 492 416 59 94 20 2 15 46 6 1 63 129 .226 .334 .392 .726 92 163 3 7 1 5 0 5H/3D
2020 34 STL NL 50 169 140 22 26 6 0 4 24 0 0 23 48 .186 .325 .314 .640 79 44 1 6 0 0 1 5D/3H
2021 35 STL NL 130 249 207 18 35 11 1 3 21 2 0 35 77 .169 .305 .275 .581 63 57 1 6 0 1 1 H43/5D1
2022 36 NYY AL 2 8 5 3 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 2 2 .200 .500 .800 1.300 277 4 0 1 0 0 0 /D

For some reason, BTF won't let me add any headers, so I should add that the entrees .226, .186, .169, and .200 are his batting averages the last four years.

No doubt he is well past his prime, but he sure was a thorn in the side of his opponents during the mid 2000 teens.
Plus, he made $90M. His family is set for generations to come.
Good on ya, lad

#6 good point, I'll ratchet my prediction with the Yankees down to .280/.330/.450 with 6 HR and 1 tenth place MVP vote.

RoyalsRetro - That's a great response. I still haven't figured out whether your original was meant to be irony or a real prediction, but in either case, good one!

Gonna guess he hits .300/.340/.480 with 10 home runs in 250 PA and earns some MVP votes.

It’s early, and asking a lot from The Magic of Pinstripes™️, but Carpenter is off to a slug-heavy 1.185 OPS in his first 4 games with the Yankees.

10 yes, w/ 2 jacks in 4 games. If he maintains that pace the rest of the way, he'll get more than 1 MVP vote.

Carpenter was a nice fantasy player for a few years there because of the walks and positional flexibility. Zero speed, though.

He's kind of the infielder version of Tommy Pham.
Carpenter: .262/.368/.449, 122 OPS+ in ~1300 games
Pham: .263/.362/.443, 118 OPS+ in ~770 games

After another HR (#4) tonight, Carpenter is now at .263/.391/.895 for a 1.286 OPS. Also rumored to be in line for a big W. B. Mason endorsement deal.

With 2 HRs today (so far), Carpenter is hitting .304/.448/1.087, for a 1.535 OPS. Fear the Stache.

The Yankees MLB scouting is really good.